Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Eight Weeks Post Op

January10

It came to my attention through this very awesome email:

I have been reading for some time and now I am peeking from behind the corner to say, you know, “yo,” and also, possibly bring you a high five. Anyway, we have not seen many “after” pics since your procedure and I was wondering, how are you and your abs doing? How are your feelings and things?

that I haven’t exactly been talking about mah surgery very much.

So, Em, HIGH FIVE and this one’s for you.

Brief back story, I had a full abdominoplasty (which is a hardcore tummy tuck) at the beginning of November, 2010. My surgeon lopped off six pounds of stuff and then fixed the underlying muscles that were all bent out of shape in a condition called Diastasis recti. I’m shaped like a daddy long legs spider, relatively long legs and no torso, and after three eight pound babies, my abdominal muscles were all *coughwheeze* “I GIVE UP.”

I did it without a whole lot of warning because I knew that if I thought about it too much, I’d be all, HOLY SHITBALLS, THAT’S A HELL OF A SURGERY, AUNT BECKY, so it was really just a “let’s get ‘er done” kinda thing.

So it was done and I was all OUCH, because do you know how often you use your abdominals? A fucking lot. That’s how much. I couldn’t pee without crying.

It was like that for weeks.

Since I don’t lay around very well, I spent a lot of that time feeling kinda sad. It’s like all of those emotions you push down because you’re too busy to ever think about them, well, they come burbling out when you’re stuck on the couch and time goes by so slowly that you wonder if it’s a trick of the clock or something. But I think that was a good thing for me to finally have to sit down and focus on them.

I can say that because I’m feeling loads better. I still have pain – a lot of pain – where the nerves in my abdomen are trying to grow back. But that, too, will (probably) pass. I’ve weaned my Topamax dosage down to half of what it was and been able to keep it there without getting a fuckton of headaches. I’ve had less back spasms.

In short, my life = more awesome now.

I don’t have any Before Full Abdominoplasty Surgery Posts to show you because, well, I don’t think I want to see it.

Here’s my three week post op post.

And this is how I look today:

8 weeks after tummy tuck surgery

8 Weeks Post Full Abdominoplasty

With the exception of the quality of the photos, I’m really happy with the surgery. I’m back to the normal substandard quality of life of a blobber that I was used to before surgery (read: none. I live my life online).

Would I have a tummy tuck again if I knew then what I know now? Without a doubt. Which is more than I can say about that weekend in Rio.

And short of a Baywatch audition, that’s about the best result I can hope for.

92 Comments to

“Eight Weeks Post Op”

  1. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:41 am Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] Says:

    Hot.

  2. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:41 am qcmama Says:

    Wow! You look great! I am totally full of the jealous. I want a tummy tuck…Maybe one day, until then I can live vicariously through you and your amazing looking abs. πŸ™‚

  3. On January 10th, 2011 at 6:12 pm JenniferB Says:

    Super ditto! Exactly what I was thinking.

  4. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:41 am Stephanie C Says:

    Looking fab!

    I am sorry you were in so much pain for so long… especially if you were sad, because if peeing hurt, then crying sure as hell hurt.

    Anyway, lookin’ great and nice tat.

    πŸ™‚

    Can’t wait for the 6-pack picture (either your abs, or some beer, whatever).

  5. On January 11th, 2011 at 6:59 pm steph gas Says:

    agreed. we need a six pack photo.

  6. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:43 am Wanda Says:

    Nice! My mom got one after 3 c-sections and she’s very happy with the result. Glad you are too!

  7. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:45 am Becky Mochaface Says:

    Damn. Sexy woman.

  8. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:45 am Lauren Elyse Says:

    So glad this is working for you!

  9. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:45 am Brandi Says:

    I’m completely jealous of your lack of scars. After 8 months my scars are still very, very red.

    You look awesome!

  10. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:41 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Oh, my scars are there. I covered them with my pants. If you saw them, you’d pee. Or not. I pee when I see them.

  11. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:46 am Tara Says:

    You are such a sexy bitch with no shirt + glasses.

  12. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:46 am Mrs. Jen B Says:

    You look awesome!! Really, truly awesome. I hope the rest of your recovery moves smoothly and that the pain eases.

  13. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:47 am Beth Says:

    Yep, still jealous. Also? Lookin’ good!

  14. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:47 am Megan (Best of Fates) Says:

    You look FANTASTIC! And, really, who regrets posting topless photos on the Internet?

    Quitters, that’s who.

  15. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:41 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    FUCKING quitters πŸ™‚

  16. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:48 am Beth H Says:

    Wow Mama!! Hot stuff!! Seriously! You’re looking awesome!! And we all know you wear your makeup & do your hair ALL THE TIME right? πŸ˜‰

  17. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:48 am Devan @ Accustomed Chaos Says:

    looking great!! Tummy tuck is on my list of things to do – one day!!

  18. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:53 am Natalie Says:

    You look amazing!

  19. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:54 am Timber Oceanlane Says:

    Looking good Aunt Becky. Glad to year you are feeling better. Best wishes for a speedy, full recovery.

    Any furthermore… thank you for the entertaining posts and tweets. Must be something special about Cohen fans πŸ™‚

  20. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:40 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    We Cohen fans are a step above, aren’t we? Loves you.

  21. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:57 am Lori Says:

    Yay Aunt Becky is all brave and stuff! Glad to hear/see you’re recovering so well.

  22. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:57 am Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up) Says:

    First, how come every time I type in lmacd for my email it wants to autocorrect to knave? Huh? What’s with that? Oh yeah, your pic looks great. Anytime you have abdominal muscles cut it sucks…but given enough narcotics, it’s worth it.

    Your almost, but not quite there yet, bestest bud.

    Lynn

  23. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:58 am Lizzard72 Says:

    Dayum! Looking good! Hope you feel completely better soon.

  24. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:58 am Lizzard72 Says:

    Dayum! Looking good! Hope you feel completely better soon.

  25. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:00 pm NotJustAnotherJennifer Says:

    I’ve been debating about it myself. I had to have 2 C-sections, so I have that awesome tight lower ab skin, the scar line, and a lovely apron of flesh dangling over. BLECH!!! But I would hate to get it done, then gain a bunch of weight and basically have wasted my money. And the pain. We’ll see.

  26. On January 12th, 2011 at 8:36 am MamaCas Says:

    Yep. FOUR c-sections here. My abdomen is at the point of no return. I have all of the above PLUS stretch marks from my chin to my knees. I’m super sexxxy.

  27. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:03 pm Abby Elliott Says:

    Where do I sign up?

  28. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:04 pm Erica Says:

    Hi Aunt Becky,

    I’m a long time lurker but just wanted to say that you look awesome! I too have three kids that totally ruined my abs so a tummy tuck is something I would love to do in the future. Did you have lots of help after your surgery or were you able to care for your kids yourself? I have a 3, 2 and a 5 month old and sometimes it’s painful taking care of them as it is, I can’t imagine what it would be like after a tummy tuck!

  29. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:40 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Oh I needed more help than I had. I regret that part TREMENDOUSLY.

  30. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:05 pm Anna Campbell Mom Of Wild Ones Says:

    ROCK THE FREAK ON!! You look great. I too will be headed that way on Feb 3rd. I am prepared for pain but I am also prepared for awesomeness that is no more BABY TENT hanging over my jeans. I guest posted about this today on Scarymommy.com

    I also got the “Shut your whore mouth” shirt ready for surgery day. Be looking for it on facebook then my blog.

    Peace out…

  31. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:07 pm Dead Cow Girl Says:

    Hawt!! You look great!

    Totally want a tummy tuck. And a boob reduction. I look like a momma cat. Sexah!

  32. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:07 pm Dead Cow Girl Says:

    Hawt!! You look great!

    Totally want a tummy tuck. And a boob reduction. I look like a momma cat. Sexah!

  33. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:08 pm Avitable Says:

    That’s awesome! Epic, even.

  34. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:08 pm mommakiss Says:

    I did the same thing – and a boobie redux at the same time. Lemme just say, yes. The abs are used for So Much! Thank God for narcotics. You look fab.

  35. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:09 pm Adryon Says:

    Lookin’ good, mama!

    Keep up the bad-ass healing job.

  36. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:13 pm PBBDesigns Says:

    You look awesome!

  37. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:13 pm PBBDesigns Says:

    You look awesome!

  38. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:20 pm Amanda Says:

    Oh my gosh you look AMAZEBALLS!!!! Stop feeling sad in the pants cuz you’re huuuuhhhhoooootttt

    PS
    cute glasses

    PPS
    come bedazzle my phone like that

  39. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:39 pm Varda (SquashedMom) Says:

    Wow. I am impressed by your fortitude. Not even one week out of my gall bladder surgery and I am already losing my mind sitting on the sofa. I have even gone off the pain meds because I just MUST clear my mind enough to put two sentences together clearly and be able to write.

    Yesterday’s written-on-pain-killers “Sunday Stream of Consciouness” post was pure embarrassing drivel. And I *might* have dropped a few too many drooly “I lurve youuuu” comments around the internet in the last few days, too.

    I know I have an abdominoplasty in my future (you could drive a truck through my Diastasis recti) but think I’m going to wait a few more years for THAT now.

    Glad you are feeling much better. And also? You look Mahvelous Dahling!

  40. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:40 pm Melissa Says:

    You look fucking amazing! Now I want one. But dont have the money. Maybe I should just stop drinking beer. Hahahah. hahahhahahah

  41. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:42 pm Blair@HeirtoBlair Says:

    You look ah-mazing.

    & I had completely forgot about the nerves re-awakening until you mentioned it & now I’m kind of wincing in my office just at the memory. (mine, however, was from a breast reduction & I’d be sitting there innocently feeding homeless people or something equally saint-like & ZAP! left boob.)

  42. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:45 pm dana Says:

    AMAZING!
    That says it all.

  43. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:49 pm Laurie Says:

    I had a full abdominoplasty back in 2005 or 2006, and I have to say…my abs still hurt a little when I cough or sneeze! He sewed em up super tight! And sometimes when exercising them, I get a bit of a spasm which is awful, but maybe that’s just because I don’t work them out as much as I should, and they are giving me hell for it.

    I don’t regret doing it either.

  44. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:50 pm The Sweetest Says:

    You look great! I have heard that the recovery from that surgery is tough, but it sounds like you are healing normally. I have a bit of DR, but not enough to warrant surgical interventions. Plus, we are hoping for a second child so there wouldn’t be any point to it now. That said, I am bracing myself for the worst if I do have another child, so it’s good to know that your surgery was a success.

  45. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:52 pm Kelly Says:

    I wish I were brave enough to do it. I hated my poochey belly long before I ever had a nine pound four ounce child eighteen years ago…but that is one surgery that scares the hell out of me.

    You are a brave woman.

  46. On January 10th, 2011 at 12:54 pm Allison Says:

    THAT is totally how I feel about my breast reduction 11 years ago. After breastfeeding the incredible hulk everyone assured me ‘they’ll go down’, they didn’t. I went from a regular old C cup to buying industrial sized bras in the old lady section of online shops. Which wouldn’t have been bad but when I didn’t wear them my boobs hit my waistband (how I wish I was exaggerating) and they were HUGE. Not F huge, size R huge. Luckily I did not have nearly the amount of pain you felt but I’d do it again, only difference, I’d do it WAY sooner! Glad you’re feeling a lot better, cause you look GREAT!

  47. On January 10th, 2011 at 1:19 pm JennyBeans Says:

    Yay! You look marvelous!

  48. On January 10th, 2011 at 1:25 pm Mandi Bone Says:

    HAWT!

  49. On January 10th, 2011 at 1:30 pm SaucyB Says:

    hey you look great! Really healing well. I think it’s very beneficial to other people who might be considering this surgery that you wrote so honestly about how hard the recovery was. Worth it for sure, but best for others to know what they’re really getting into and can expect before the ‘big reveal’.
    And seriously? You have BALLS for taking a pic in your bra. I tip my imaginary hat to you. πŸ˜‰

  50. On January 10th, 2011 at 2:01 pm MrsLaLa Says:

    You look great! Glad to know that the pain is worth it since I will be haaving one myself in a few years, after (gasp) possible fourth child & getting my tubes tied. πŸ™‚

  51. On January 10th, 2011 at 2:10 pm Mermama3 Says:

    I want an abdominoplasty NOW, Daddeeeeee!!!!! πŸ™‚ Looks great!

  52. On January 10th, 2011 at 2:26 pm Rachel Says:

    Oh HELL YEAH! I hope you’ve gone out and bought a new bikini to show off that bod this summer? (Wait, do you get ‘summer’ in Chicago? I’ll admit I don’t know.)

  53. On January 10th, 2011 at 2:30 pm Mwa (Lost in Translation) Says:

    Gorgeous! Glad it worked out well.

  54. On January 10th, 2011 at 2:34 pm Suzy Voices Says:

    Looking SO fabulous!!!! Nice rack, too!!!

  55. On January 10th, 2011 at 2:44 pm Mel Says:

    Looking good with your new muscles. Or, um, I guess I’m not sure I completely understand the surgery or if they add and/or fix muscles. But, either way. Looking good!

  56. On January 10th, 2011 at 2:49 pm Tweets that mention Eight Weeks Post Full Abdominoplasty Surgery | Mommy Wants Vodka -- Topsy.com Says:

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Aunt Becky. Aunt Becky said: This is 8 weeks post op. Also: me in a bra (I will so regret this): http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/eight-weeks-post-op […]

  57. On January 10th, 2011 at 2:52 pm Brandi Cortes Says:

    You look FANFUCKINGTASTIC!

  58. On January 10th, 2011 at 2:55 pm Tiffany @ MomNom Says:

    I would SO fuck you. I mean…

    Shit…

  59. On January 10th, 2011 at 2:57 pm Kizz Says:

    HOLY SHITBALLS AUNT BECKY!!! You look awesome.

    Full stop.

  60. On January 10th, 2011 at 3:07 pm Eric Grabowski Says:

    Wow! Mr. Becky is a lucky boy

  61. On January 10th, 2011 at 3:11 pm Kristin Says:

    You look amazing!

  62. On January 10th, 2011 at 3:15 pm Maria Says:

    You look fantastic and I’m SO EFFING JEALOUS!!

  63. On January 10th, 2011 at 4:14 pm Cindy Says:

    You look fucking awesome! I showed my own The Daver and said I wanted a tummy tuck too- he told me to do sit ups. Asswipe! I can live vicariously through you. . .
    See you when you get back to Vegas!

  64. On January 10th, 2011 at 4:26 pm a Says:

    Looking hot!!!

  65. On January 10th, 2011 at 4:26 pm amy d Says:

    You look AWESOME Becky!! Good for you:)

  66. On January 10th, 2011 at 5:44 pm Adriane Says:

    Dayum Woman! You are HAWT! I want a tummy tuck! Wait, no, no I don’t. I can’t deal with pain.

    Congrats on the healing! It is looking very nice!

    I will cross my fingers that Baywatch calls soon.

  67. On January 10th, 2011 at 7:29 pm Kat Says:

    Hottie!!

  68. On January 10th, 2011 at 7:38 pm pattypunker Says:

    i so wanna motorboat your belly.

    really glad the surgery was successful and you’re feeling much better. you weathered incredibly well.

  69. On January 10th, 2011 at 7:54 pm Neeroc Says:

    I’d hit it…crap I’m not gay.

    Good for you, you look awesome, I’m sorry it’s been such a hard recovery for you, but hell if the migranes stop and you gain a 6-pack! Plastic surgery scares the crap out of me, especially on my frankenbelly (old school appendectomy, 3 or 4 laparoscopies and a C-section. A CROOKED C!)

  70. On January 10th, 2011 at 8:07 pm Tershbango Says:

    You’re smokin’ hot! But you know why? Cuz you’re Aunt Becky. And we’re not.

    But the results are fantastic and I’m glad you’re happy!

  71. On January 10th, 2011 at 8:25 pm cali Says:

    you look great lady!! no bruising or anything… awesome!!

  72. On January 10th, 2011 at 8:45 pm Sarah P Says:

    You look hot.

    I get Charlie horses in my abdomen since having twins AND I have regular shoulder-back pain that makes no real sense.

    I’m completely chickenshit about surgery. Probably just going to live in unattractive misery and rely on the Land’s End Mommy Bathing Suit for the rest of my summers on Earth.

  73. On January 10th, 2011 at 8:55 pm Sheri Says:

    You look wonderful! Congratulations. You deserve it. :-))

  74. On January 10th, 2011 at 9:09 pm LenettΓ© aka The Shitzizle Says:

    it looks great

  75. On January 10th, 2011 at 9:52 pm vickilikesfrogs Says:

    Y’know what, Aunt Becky? You’re freakin awesome. And not just cuz you have awesome abs either, although they ARE very awesome! You’re awesome just cuz you’re awesome! I’m damn proud to be a prankster!!!

  76. On January 10th, 2011 at 9:58 pm House of Pink Says:

    You look fantastic! Take care of yourself and rest!!!

  77. On January 10th, 2011 at 11:15 pm linlah Says:

    Oh you look mahvoolous, happy for you for your happiness.

  78. On January 11th, 2011 at 12:41 am Amanda Says:

    Aunt Becky you are looking hottt! I mean, you’re always hott ; )

    Must’ve been a tough recovery though, ouch! Especially with kids, you get a triple fist pump for this!

  79. On January 11th, 2011 at 3:09 am Maria Says:

    So now you want me to wade through old posts to find the other pics to compare how well you’re doing? Don’t you know what a lazy bum I am???

    Rock on, gorgeous.

    M

  80. On January 11th, 2011 at 9:45 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I looked for like an hour and couldn’t find anything (in my real pictures). I’ll see what I can do.

    Everyone likes a before/after shot.

  81. On January 11th, 2011 at 8:27 am AuntieEmBabes Says:

    holy cut fuck dude, you look amazing, good for you!!

  82. On January 11th, 2011 at 8:40 am Lisa Says:

    You look awesome!! WOW! I am SO gonna do this one day. After baby #2 that is. So in like 2013, but hey I can live with blubber until then, right? UGH! But you have totally made up my mind- I WILL have a tummy tuck. I don’t care if my family will have to live off of bread and water as long as mommy looks good- in 2013!! YAY!

  83. On January 11th, 2011 at 9:45 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You can DO it! I can’t wait until you do. Because, obviously.

  84. On January 11th, 2011 at 9:31 am Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points Says:

    Look at your nummy self.

  85. On January 11th, 2011 at 9:57 am Marian Allen Says:

    You are made of awesome! Congratulations on being who you are. It inspires me that you haul off and DO things instead of thinking about them until they wear out and die. Thank you for sharing stuff. But not too much stuff. Just enough stuff.

  86. On January 11th, 2011 at 10:37 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    *blushes* Aw, thanks. I feel kinda dumb being around in my bra, but it wasn’t all SLUTTY, you know? (I didn’t want to be all slutty!)

    And be all EYE OF THE TIGER! It’s a good way to be, I think. Or, uh, at least, um, I think it is.

  87. On January 11th, 2011 at 10:33 am Erin Says:

    HOLY FUCKING AWESOME!!!! You look GREAT!!!

    I may just have to get one of those myself one of these days. Better start looking into it!

  88. On January 11th, 2011 at 10:36 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I’m REALLY happy that I did it. And thank you!

  89. On January 11th, 2011 at 12:34 pm Tonya Says:

    You look AMAZING!!!!!! Now, I want one! Do I have to have 3 eight pound babies to get one?

  90. On January 11th, 2011 at 6:58 pm Liz Says:

    Inspirational Awesomeness, Auntie. I want one, but think I need to plan ahead for the money and the pain. My husband said I could if I lost 100 lbs. He really doesn’t rag on me about my weight, but he knows I do need to lose a few after this last PCS move – 2 months in a motel room eating out for every meal really did a number on my already ample self.

    You rock, and look totally hot. Thanks for sharing!

  91. On January 13th, 2011 at 6:36 pm Deanna Longo Says:

    SEXY! I did that about 3 1/2 years ago. Painful shit! They sucked and cut 8 lbs on me and put the “girls” back where they belonged! Yep they called this…. wait… wait for it…. “The Mommy Make Over”! Yea thanks for that assholes! (Like we didn’t have enough pain delievering those kids so we could get a Mommy make over!!!)

  92. On November 7th, 2012 at 10:38 am Two Years Post-Op - Mommy Wants Vodka Says:

    […] Blogroll? Huh? « Robin Waits On The Sidewalk Two Years Post-Op Two years ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I’d just had major abdominal surgery. […]

Email will not be published

Website example

Your Comment:

My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!
My site was nominated for Hottest Mommy Blogger!
Back By Popular Demand...