Pranksters, I should have you know that Amelia spent the entire day yesterday yelling, “HI” and “THANK YOU” to the computer. I’m pretty sure she knows you were in the computer waving at her, so she was waving back. The gift of sight runs in my family…maybe she has it.


Either way, my daughter thinks that her Pranksters are full of the awesome. She’s right.

This week, however, has NOT been full of the awesome. My dog died yesterday. So did my transmission. I’d blame John C. Mayer, but I think that I need his karma like I need a stomach full of worms.

The only good thing about having a week of The Suck is that it’s forcing me to think about all of the ugly, unpleasant things I need to do that I’ve been putting off because I don’t want to deal with it. I get hyper-productive when I’m in The Shit.

So I’m doing the blog equivalent of dying my hair. I’ve needed to spend a good deal of time thinking about what exactly I want to do with the space other than where I write and while I wanted to just write I LOVE BACON and I HEART PRANKSTERS everywhere, I’m not exactly sure that would be helpful.

I’ve added an area at the top that includes direct links to each one of my five shirts called SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH SHIRTS. Because, obviously. I want to make a photogallery of the shirts you’ve bought, too, so if you have any snapshots, send ’em to me (

I’m starting to think that I want to sell my own ads. Nothing fancy or anything. Is that a terrible idea?

Update: AM selling my own ads. Please click here if you want to be bored OR buy an ad.

It’s likely you’ll see a ton of different things around here since I am still stuck on my back staring at the wall and have very little to do besides pray people submit more stories to Band Back Together and Mushroom Printing. So, I suppose, pardon my dust.

And I promise Amelia (my sons call her Dr. Mimi) will help me make another vlog soon.

Also: she just ran up to me yelling, COOKIE, COOKIE! Who gave her a cookie, Pranksters? And where is mine?

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58 thoughts on “C-c-ch-changes

  1. Well, fuck, Becky. (Please note the commas there.) I’m so sorry about your sucky week. Dying transmissions are god-awful enough; dying dogs are knives in the heart for me. I wish I could help you.

  2. She probably found Mea’s spare cookie. You know the one she hides in the couch cushions for when I say no. Everyone needs a spare cookie. Maybe if you are nice she’ll share with you?

  3. My almost two year old has become Amelia’s biggest fan. I showed her the video because “hey, want to see another baby?” and then I had to show it to her over and over and over again. I’m serious, I bet we’ve watched it fifty times. She came downstairs this morning and demanded “more ‘Melia!” before she would eat breakfast. On the plus side, I am getting lots done, in one minute and fifteen second chunks.

    I’m sorry about your dog. And your transmission.

  4. I was feeling sorry for myself because I’m having a bad week. But then you said your dog died. And fuck. You win. I’m sorry to hear that. Now I feel like a selfish asshole for being all wrapped up in shit that, 6 months from now, won’t really matter. So thanks. Thanks for making me feel like shit for having a worse week than me. **SMILES**

  5. If I were Queen of the World, I’d institute a law stating that nobody can get that much SUCK in one week. Unless of course, the person sucks, in which case people who don’t suck and wish all manners of suck upon them.

  6. Super sorry to hear about the pup. Was it sick or was it an accident?

    I’m still not over pets from years ago (I guess I have issues anyway).

    Hope the transmission means a new car with 0% financing?? Maybe? No? Okay, well I hope you find an honest *cough* mechanic who won’t rip you off.

  7. November has turned into a month of suck for a lot of people. I am so sorry sweets. I’ve got glΓΌwein, so come over and we’ll just get shitfaced and be European till everything gets back to normal. Or close to normal.

    Either way, come move in on my sofa, it’ll be a nice change of scenery for you. And it’s really comfy.

  8. Thanks for the perspective on a week of Suck. The lying sack of shit coworker incident that’s been bugging me is no longer in my brain. Also – my 3 year old told his class that this year for Thanksgiving, he’s thankful for bacon. HELL YES. Tell your week to fuck off.

  9. Oh honey, I’m so sorry about the dog. That sucks donkey dick. πŸ™

    I have a spare if you want her. She’s a real pain in the ass, I mean, an awesome pup and great with kids. πŸ™‚ I can FedEx overnight her to you. Just let me know. LOL!

    Am working on a new post for BBT and think that you look fabulous on your back. (I’m such a whore.)

    Things will get better very soon. Before you know it, you’ll be back up and kicking John C Mayer’s ass with your diamond encrusted feet. And we CAN’T WAIT! πŸ˜€

    p.s. You & all the other ladies looked fabulous on the Curvy Girls Guide video!

  10. Hi there,
    I saw the video and thought it was so adorable! all that hard work is finally showing off eh?
    She is a wonderful little girl!

    your glasses kick ass, i’m jealous

  11. my week turned to The Suck yesterday too (notice the lack of caps. if you know anything about me, you will know that i only use caps when i’m superserious). dead transmission sucks. awesome husband is a mechanic, but he doesn’t touch transmissions and it might be a super long drive to central florida. dead dogs suck even worse. i’m very sorry to hear it. my oldest kitteh is 16 and in early stage kidney failure, so every day at this point is a (loud, annoying, yowling) blessing.

    ALSO: you still haven’t put my shit up on band back together. i have a head full of ideas but i didn’t want to start getting all up in the dark until i broke the surface with that one. hit me up, aunt motherfucking becky.

  12. Oh babe, that really sucks. I’m so sorry about your dog. I hope everyone is coping ok. Crossing my fingers that you have a good mechanic who can resurrect the transmission. (And yes, you should sell your own ads!)

  13. Yay! Good luck with the private ads. Here‘s a post that gives some tips on how to get started, and I bet you have a bunch of people who are already reading you who have etsy shops and stuff who wouldn’t mind advertising here. If you put up a post with your rates you might be able to avoid sending out too many email inquiries to advertisers. Good luck!

  14. Motherfucking HELL to the YEAH you should run your own ads! I mean, hell, if anyone can do it, it’s going to be you Aunt Becky.

    I can’t stop watching the video of Ameila either … SO stinking cute. But I’m sorry otherwise your week is full of THE SUCK.

    Hot Damn … how about we just put a ban on lame ass weeks and everytime one rears its ugly head we all streak naked through the park? Yes? …. No? All right well damn.

  15. So sorry about your dog. And your transmission. You’ve had one hell of a week. Hope things get better soon…

    Also, looking forward to more vlogs of you and Amelia.

    And if you are still in need, I got Girl Scout cookies I can share… so c’mon up…

  16. Mimi was obviously referring to website’s cookies and she does not like talking because she prefers texting!!n she is just a super pretty future geek!

  17. I’m so sorry about your dog! That is so not fair to you right now! In honor of your awesome new shirts I have decided to give my too small shirt to my skinny bitch friend and I’ve ordered another more roomy one for me! So there’s that! You sold another shirt today! I’m sure you’ve sold more than just that one but hey, I’m doin my part here! Hope the rest of your week gets better. It HAS to.

  18. I am sorry about your dog and the transmission. That sucks. I blame Mark Z. (not saying full name in case he really is all-powerful and comes after me next). But this calls for chocolate and many more Amelia vlogs, because seriously, how cute is she? Anyway, I hope things improve. I think you should start calling local car places, telling them about your devoted pranksters and offering them ad space if they give you a new damn car.

  19. Awww, darlin’, I’m so sorry about your puppy! About the car too, but… puppy! πŸ™ But I’m soooo proud of your beautiful little girl! Have fun with blog molestation – it’s always fun πŸ™‚

  20. Well crap. I thought I was having a bad week, because I got dumped at 4am last wed on the very night that the baby developed a nasty cold and a fever. And then I had to find a new babysitter. And then I got the nasty cold. And then I got a cold sore. And then that turned into a staph infection.

    But dude, you totally win. I’m so sorry about your dog. I have never lost a pet, so I don’t know how I would handle it. I HAVE lost plenty of cars, though, and that is a huge pain in the ass.

  21. Awww I am so sorry about the dog… I keep looking at mine and getting sad ‘cos I know one day they too will drop dead and I will cry forever and ever and ever… until I get a new puppy!!!
    Yes being in the shit does produce inordinate amounts of hyper-efficiency and super powers no Prankster has ever seen the likes of before!!!!!

  22. Poor Wee One!! I am so sad to hear of your horrible week even as you are still recovering. You must be up for sainthood to be put to such trials!
    You are totally going to start selling your own ads. Period. You have such a huge following and there is no reason to give your shoe/vodka money to someone else. Those of us just starting out, of course, have no other choice but suck it up to “The Man” but we need you to blaze a trail of independence! Tally ho, Ho!

  23. So sorry your week was so stupidsucky. Also very sorry for the death of your dog. My sweet best frienddog of 15 years just died Oct. 24….i’m still bawling.

  24. I’m sorry to hear about your dog and your transmission. That does suck.

    What does not suck is Dr. Mimi running around yelling Cookie!

  25. Amelia made me grin. And giggle. Focus on the loveys while in The Shit. Beanster & I are making crafts all the time. Really helps me stay out of *that* place.

    ***HUGS*** to get you through to the upswing!

  26. I am glad you are feeling better physically and moving about. I am sorry about your pooch and your car. I love the name Ameilia and am glad she is well. Life can be pretty shitty if you can’t say the word “cookie” so she is on her way in my estimation!

    Have a super weekend! Oh! I sent you an invite to read my blog and you haven’t picked it up damnit! Don’t you love me anymore πŸ˜‰

  27. I’m sorry about your dog, we had a cat who died from bladder cancer (rare form in cats) and we are still missing him two years later.

    I wish life was like one of those 1960 TV shows where you had ONE problem at a time and 30 minutes later, it was solved. But then I would have to wear pearls and high heels when I clean. Totally not me.

    Congratulations again on Amelia. She amazes us once again.

  28. Amelia is the baby version of Chuck Norris. She is Chuck Norris reincarnated. Because Chuck Norris doesn’t die. He just reincarnates his living self.

    And I’m happy she has words. I’m so excited for you, dude.

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