Last night, after many months of hemming and hawing (what the hell does that mean, anyway?), for the first time in the history of his existence, Alex slept through the night.

Attachment parents everywhere are now gathering slings and breast pump parts to lob at me viciously, but I do not care. Last I checked, none of them had offered to come over and love him back to sleep for me, which leaves my sympathy at approximately zero.

It took about 15 minutes of my Benevolent Dictator screaming in his crib for him to realize that neither of his slaves were rushing to his aid, and he promptly stopped screaming and eventually went to sleep (at least, I am assuming that he went to sleep. He could have been translating the collective works of Aristotle for all that I know. Or care.).

(Did you see The Exorcist? Do you remember the part when the possessed little girl is alone in her bedroom and her eyes pop open and she starts being really demonic? I always used to imagine that this is precisely what Alex looked like when he woke up overnight to beckon me to his side. And I am telling you that the minute you start comparing your child to the kid in The Exorcist is when you know once and for all that you are very.not.happy.)

I know better than to pat myself on the back too much, as I know full well that this is just one night in a string of behavior changing nights, but you see, I don’t care. I’m fucking happy as fuck and I am proud of us for doing what we’d needed to do for so long.

Makes me a little ashamed that we haven’t tried it sooner, as it really went much more smoothly than I’d imagined (although, I’m pleased enough that my skin is not shredded into baby nail sized ribbons and hanging off my frame disgustingly, which is really part of how I envisioned my first night of Crying it Out. Alex is cute because he can be so brutal. The cuteness is a defense mechanism on his part so that I don’t “accidentally” “forget him” “at” “the store”).


I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my back (a 20 pound weight, if I must specify, and genuinely not the weight of the world. Even I am not that melodramatic. Shut up. I am not.) and I can not recall a time in recent history when I have felt so incredibly positive. I’m still tired (extra sleep that I’m not accustomed to gives me a odd sleep hangover. Does that happen to anyone else?) but I’m happy.

16 thoughts on “And If You Go Chasing Rabbits.

  1. Amen sistah!!! Hey, and go ahead and pat yourself on the back, because it took me 14 long, hellish months to finally let my little one cry it out!!!

    Best decision I have ever made in my life, other than weaning his little bitey-self!! 🙂

  2. I’m going to pull an answer right out of my butt, and say the origin of “hemming and hawing” has a sewing origin; hemming being to fold something over, and hawing… I don’t know, maybe hawing is some kind of stitch. Maybe the going back and forth and folding over of these sewing terms led to “hemming and hawing” as in, going back and forth, pausing, not being direct. Hey, how’s that for a made-up etymology?

    Congratulations for the larger accomplishment of your post!

  3. And peace is restored to all; good job to you (and Alex)! Hopefully, no more exorcist moments are in your future. Happy sleeping!

  4. Don’t start me on attachment parenting advocates who would DARE say anything to you about giving your child the tools to put himself to sleep. Which makes you less sleepy and depressed. And more able to attach to him. And him happier.

  5. The power of a good night’s rest. Thanks for sharing what that is like. Cuz it’s been a vague memory around these parts.

    Not because my kids are little Exorcists in training (love that image!) but because you know, I’m fucking bat shit crazy.

  6. okay… (mostly) attachment-style parent here to say… CONGRATS!!!!
    Seriously, it’s WAY different to let a toddler/older baby cry it out than to do the same to a newborn (which I don’t agree with)! Anyone who gives you a hard time is just CRAZY, and should be summarily ignored!

    As for sleep hangovers… OH YA!!!! Complete with headaches and general malaise. Really sucks to get so used to sleep deprivation, that enough sleep hurts!

  7. I got the odd sleep hangover for awhile after Boo started sleeping through the night. Pleasant but unpleasant at the same time.
    Hooray for sleeping through the night!

  8. I hope you don’t lose your edge with all your new-found sleep…because you’re frackin’ funny. =)

    This? “The cuteness is a defense mechanism on his part so that I don’t “accidentally” “forget him” “at” “the store”).” My fave! Substitute “him” and you’ve pretty much defined my daughter.

    Sleep on, Alex. Speaking for mothers everywhere, your mama needs it.

  9. Sleep…rest…what are these foreign things? If it’s not one of them waking me, it’s the other. I’m beginning to consider sleeping in the spare room for just one night to get a real rest.

  10. Awesome…and you know what’s funny? When people say my Alex is SOOOO CUTE, I tell them that there’s a reason for that, because he might be dead by now if he wasn’t. Last night, he was heard by my mom, in the middle of a fight with his brother, saying “Well, I’M the cute one.” Scary. WTF is it about boys named Alex?

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