Alex wanted me to take a moment and remind the world that everything is better with barbeque sauce. Guess he’s a momma’s boy after all.

And my PSA for the day is this: if the urge to eat an entire loaf of cinnamon bread overtakes you, it’s best not to fight it. Although probably not WITH barbeque sauce. That’s just too much.

Oh, and any tips out there on telling an 18 month old about a new baby coming? I haven’t found any books that aren’t stupid, and I could use some assvice.

59 thoughts on “Why So SERIOUS?

  1. mmmm…barbecue sauce…. mmmm….cinnamon bread… And Alex has to be the cutest bbq covered kid anywhere.

    We used “The New Baby” by Mercer Mayer (the Little Critter series) to tell Cheeks she was going to be a big sister. It gets the point across without being too smarmy, IMHO. Do you know anyone else who has had a baby recently or will be soon? It definitely helped Cheeks understand the whole concept better when we could point to a live example.

  2. MMMmmmm…barbeque sauce. And is that a basket of fries in the background. Now I want chicken strips and fries for lunch. Thanks Aunty Becky and Alex! Alex is forgiven because he is so.freaking.adorable. But you, Becky! You’re in trouble.

    I have no idea how to break that news to an 18 month old. I can’t even remember my son being 18 months old!

  3. Awww, cute little dirty boys melt my heart. How about telling him that even though he won’t like giving up all the attention he gets now when the stinky new baby comes home screaming that soon enough he will realize that being the middle child is the BEST!

    Flying under the radar and watching my mother deal with the rotten older sister and the baby bro is what made my life bliss!

    As far as the messy mechanics go, my son thinks babies come out your ass, because he’s seen puppies and other critters be born and thought they were crapped out. I’m okay with that! He’ll find out soon enough in school.

  4. tell him that you have had enough of the whining and have decided to try for a better model….just kidding….seriously just tell him how there will be even more toys and someone to play with….hehehe

  5. The truth is, I don’t think they truly understand the concept until you bring the baby home. Once your belly is really round and obvious, he will probably notice and ask, and you can tell him there’s a new baby. But the concept and the reality are two different things at that age.

  6. I agree with Heather. You can read him all the books in the world and tell him all about how he’s going to be a big brother but it’s not really going to make any sense until he sees that baby. It’s the part where he finally figures out that the baby isn’t ever going to LEAVE that’s hardest.

  7. Wait until you’re closer to your due date to really get serious about telling him. If you tell him now, since toddlers have no concept of time, he’ll be pestering you EVERY 5 MINUTES about when that baby is coming. It won’t be a total shock, he’s been hearing you and everyone else talk about the baby for months now, but at 18 months, he’s still blissfully unaware that there’s a screaming, pooping little alien about to enter the picture.

  8. Yes, I second the cute little dirty boy look. That’s why I let mine look like that all the time.

    We didn’t do anything with Adam. He was just over 2 when we had Elizabeth and he didn’t understand anything was different. He loved my big belly but the fact that their was a baby in there blew his mind. We’d just keep mentioning in passing that “hey, we’re gonna have another baby soon” and that was that.

    When I first got back to my room after having her, he sat with me on the bed until the nazi LLL nurse tore him away so I could feed the hour old baby. That was very disturbing to him and could’ve been handled better. I was screaming at the nurse, he’s screaming because the nurse is touching him, the baby was screaming because she was a baby, total chaos. Let them know you want to be informed before they trot the baby down and prepare your little one. That first meeting between them didn’t go well, but six hours later and their second meeting he was in love and has been ever since.

    I think it’ll go easier than you imagine as long as crazy people don’t get in the way.

  9. That picture is priceless. Adorable.

    First off – love the name Aunt Becky. Super cute.

    Additionally, one of my friends kids just got one of those square dolls chasing the cat in your header. They are super scary and funny at the same time. I laughed pretty hard when I saw it on your blog. The world is small sometimes.


  10. well that settles lunch for me, chicken strips & fries with BBQ sauce, lots and lots of BBQ sauce, thanks Aunt Becky!! what a great picture….

  11. Just talk to him about it…. let him rub your belly. Say baby and point to your tummy….. pretty much!

    Henry was that age when we were expecting Sam… and they do not really get it until he is there… but it is good to start to prepare them anyway!

  12. Love the photo!

    LOOOVE cinnamon bread!

    I go back and forth on BBQ sauce!

    Anyway, we had a couple books, I’m sure, about how fun it would be to be a big brother. We also took the oldest to a “new sibling” class at the hospital, and they learned about where I would be for a couple days when the baby came, and how they could be big helpers for us, as well as some child-geared safety lessons. It was something my son really enjoyed. B

    However, as has been said, no matter how much you talk about it (and we talked about it A LOT), and it all seems good in theory, the true reality/test comes when you are all home together and you roll with the changes and emotions.

    Then you make more cinnamon bread.

  13. I used to adore Penelope Leach. She said in her book that at this age, there isn’t much preparing to do, because he won’t be able to understand anyway. If I recall correctly, she pretty much said to simply say, once the tummy is very noticeable, that mommy is growing a new baby in her tummy and that the baby will get out of the tummy and come home soon. Or something like that.

  14. Gabriel was about 18 months when we decided to start the adoption process for a 2nd one. A little different, because it’s much more vague – we want to get another baby, and it’ll happen whevener it happens!

    His response at 18 months was “One Gabriel. Two Mommies. No Beebay.”

    The day after Dean came home, he asked “when is the next baby coming?”

    On the other hand, that was 2 years later, so his opinion had changed somewhat. The thing that actually seemed to change his mind was the boy next door getting a little sister. Then he thought he should get a sister too. And call her Micah (just like next door).

  15. Baby Alex makes me smile. I remember that being the most fun age (don’t throw books at me)!

    Pretty much what everyone else said…at that age they can’t comprehend the abstract baby or how it will get here. He won’t understand until baby is there, and probably not right away that it will be there every day.

  16. Yep, he’s not going to get it until you bring that little one home for keeps. I like the idea of the new baby ‘bringing’ the older sib(s) a little something to play with to help with the over kill of attention the new one is going to suck from them.
    I don’t think my big bro ever recovered from the realization that I was staying, FOREVER, he asked my parents to take me back to the hospital after only a few minutes of exciting play with three day old me. I guess I wasn’t interesting enough for his 2 yr old lifestyle….
    Good luck…maybe a little BBQ sauce behind the newborn ears will help:)

  17. I’m not a mommy yet but let me imagine a bit…

    Although at 18 months old, it would be a bit difficult for him to understand,
    – “continuously” tell Alex he is going to have a sibling soon.
    – When your tummy starts to be more obvious, show tummy to Alex and say little baby is inside and would be coming out soon.
    – Show your growing tummy to Alex on a periodic basis. Tell him how it was when it was him you were waiting on.
    – Encourage Alex to touch your growing tummy gently (opportunity to teach him how to touch anything gently).

  18. Umm, when did he turn into a toddler?! He’s changed a lot since his last photos — still madly adorable, though, just more boy! He and the Beans could wreck some hell together (but I’m sure they wreck plenty all on their own, heh).

  19. ummm… all I know is that I told my mother after about a week to take her BACK!! (I was 2-1/2 when my sister made an appearance! LOL) My daughter was nearly 8 yrs when we had my son, so no help here!

    maybe get him a baby doll to take care of for a while?? Just so he learns not to drop it on its head and throw toys at it?

  20. yum, he looks delicious! I have no help on the other thing, other than to say I was 20 months old when my brother was born and seem to have no lasting scars from the experience.

  21. Caitlin was 18 months when Jack was born. When my tummy got big and started doing that Alien movement thing, I told her there was a baby in there and he would get out soon. She was thrilled we BOTH had babies to play with together!

    And they had this crazy Vulcan Mind Meld thing going on… she would know he was awake two rooms away when he wasn’t making a sound. She’d say, “Bee, wake!” (His nickname is still Bee) and I’d go check and he’d be laying there waiting on me, like he knew his sister had his back.

    Seems like it’s different with little dudes, though? Idk.

  22. The Bearington Bears books include one about the new baby bear joining the family. Its cute and simple.

    As for fighting a craving, I have one word of advice…DON’T! When I was pregnant with my oldest, I tried to fight off a craving for Tootsie Rolls. I resisted for 3 days and then broke down and bought the biggest bad Wal-Mart had and ate it in 3 days.

  23. I read that if your baby is under the age of 2, there’s really no need to prepare them because they won’t really understand it anyway. But I guess Alex might be 2ish by the time baby is born, right?

    Hmm, I say best to procrastinate as long as possible, and then let him draw faces on your belly when you’re too preggo to get off the couch!

  24. We didn’t really have a chance to tell our son. We were out with my brother’s wife and their 3 week old son getting pictures of the two boys taken together. We asked our eldest if he wanted a new baby in the house. While we were out, we got a phone call about a 3 week old who needed a home and would we want him? Two days later, our second son came home. Our eldest was 19 months at the time. 361 days later, pretty much the same thing happened when our younger son’s birth mom gave birth to another child. We took her, not a whole lot of warning for the older two, and they did fine with her.

  25. I wish I could help you out on this one but I really don’t have a good advice as to how to tell an 18 year old that he is going to be a big brother. Wait that’s it…Make it all about him how he is going to be a BIG BROTHER! That might work.

  26. That cute face is priceless! Smart little one – BBQ sauce is one of life’s greatest things. As far as the book – I hope someone chimes in with a great suggestion. I’m all ears 🙂

  27. That is an incredibly cute child! And C laughed out loud when he read the title.

    I have no advice. Except: You Rock.

    Okay, that’s not really advice, but thanks for being awesome, anyway. (Yeah, that doesn’t really make sense, but you know what i mean. And thanks.)

  28. I don’t understand how there was time to take a photo when there were un-eaten FRIES still around?!?! The rule in my house is nobody moves till momma finishes the fries!

    I love his hair by the way – my ex husband would never let me have that look on Luke.

    As for assvice – I gots none, because by time number 2 comes, Luke may be old enough to have his own kids!

  29. I can not offer you any pearls of wisdom on preparing Alex for the new baby, mostly because I am NOT wisdom-y *new word* and also because my kids are 6 years apart. But I can tell you that eating an entire loaf of cinnamon bread IS a good idea! Pregnant or not. Oh and why does Alex not have a HUGE fat grin on his face?! It’s BBQ sauce for the love of Goddess!!!
    Enjoy your day!
    -D *ICLW*

  30. well as with most things parenting in our house — we read a few things and decided that society has interfered and infused every little normal life thing with way too fucking much drama. both coming from large families and not remembering any drama about a new baby, blah blah — we simply blew off the experts and the parenting advice and said — yep, a new baby, be nice to it — we figured if we didn’t set the older one(s) up to make a big deal, they wouldn’t — and they didn’t

  31. Awww how cute. I hoping to avoid this dilemma in one of 2 ways. 1) Landon is an only child. 2) Landon is 5 or 6 and bothered by the fact that his friends all have little brothers or sister and where the heck is his?

    When my sister had her second, her first was a little over 2, she told him that the new baby was his baby too. It gave him a little ownership of the situation. He was very protective of her. Oh and she let him listen to her belly towards the end. He didn’t quite get it though, because he’d lower her socks and listen to her calves as well.

  32. He is so freaking cute. Wow.

    I don’t think they really get it – at this age – until you bring the baby home. Ironflower was 15 months old when I had Lovebug and even though I read her lots of stories that included baby siblings, it didn’t sink in. Seeing other kids with baby siblings has helped both kids a lot more this time around, even though they get stories better this time.

  33. OMG, he is so cute. With my Alex, when people comment on the cuteness, I tell them that there’s a reason for it, like natural selection or something! It protects him when he’s being a shit. O man, cinnamon bread-I love it toasted with butter…lots of butter. YUM!

  34. He’s cute! Almost as cute as you. *wink, wink*

    I’m a ketchup girl, myself.

    As for the baby thing. My B&SIL had a just-turned-two toddler when their second child was born. They did ALL the things that you are “supposed” to do when another baby is coming but it didn’t matter. When the baby came he was still all, “What the fuck is she doing here?!”

  35. BBQ instead of ketchup…I’ll have to consider that!! As for the new baby, all kids are different. My daughter (at 3) was cool with the baby, but PISSED at us. She also started saying, “I baby A” and only answering to his name…

  36. Too darn cute! I can’t believe your kid actually likes it at this age….he must take after you! Yes don’t fight those cravings…no point.

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