Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride

Where I Talk About Boys Wearing Girls Clothes


I didn’t want to tell you, Pranksters, until it was official, but I joined Momversation as a part-time panelist, which means that every now and again, I have to put my ugly mug on camera and talk about stuff.

Today, I answered the question, “would you let your boy wear girls clothes?”

You can see my answer. What’s yours? (oh, and you do NOT have to agree with me. I won’t be offended)

– Show quoted text –

posted under Momversation
154 Comments to

“Where I Talk About Boys Wearing Girls Clothes”

  1. On January 12th, 2011 at 11:54 am Allison Says:

    Well aren’t we Miss Famous! Nice job!!!

  2. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:20 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Aw, thanks. I heart you.

  3. On July 5th, 2012 at 3:00 pm Josephine Shaffer Says:

    If my boy wants to wear girls clothes it’s his choice i would not to refuse to let him do so.

  4. On February 21st, 2013 at 3:03 pm Josephine Shaffer Says:

    I wore girls clothes myself when i was just 10 years old i would put on a dress or a skirt i just like dressing up as a girl i wanted to be a girl so this the way i do it by putting on girls clothes i am comfortable with that Pink is my favorite color because it gives the feminine look the way girls do sure i am girly, and i like it.

  5. On April 6th, 2013 at 10:47 pm Josephine Shaffer Says:

    When i was a boy 10 years old i wanted to dress up like a girl i would put on a dress, pantyhose, high heels yes i did not want to be a boy but a girl being a girl is deffenently what i wish i wanted to be today i wear women’s clothes, and undergarments any color, and style i didn not care i just wanted to them it made look feminine exactly, i am happier dressed as i like, and wanted.

  6. On July 21st, 2013 at 8:47 pm Blake Says:

    Here is my view/experience of this.Maybe I’m a little different,ha ha.I don’t have guy clothing.I’m a straight guy,(not that has ANYTHING to do with this discussion) threw them out years ago.
    I wear (women’s) clothes only, 24/7, but for me,its NOT a sexual thing,i never get “aroused” in female known clothing.But i wear them because it feels
    like i SHOULD be wearing girl clothes.I don’t wear the real flowery femmy tops.The look or style i have is a nice look,from what many femalestell me. I’m never embarrassed or uneasy or whatever word you choose.When I’m out and about doing things in just me,as if i was in pants,YUCKY.
    I like open back tops,or sheer lace back tops and so on.Do i wear a bra ? Yes.Most of the time.I don’t hide the fact that i am wearing a bra.If my bra strap shows,oh well,so,big deal.I conduct myself as if I’m wearing guy clothes.Guy clothes are BORING, lame, lacking color and style…..and yes i wear MY (girl) clothes to work.And the women i work around like it,but i know that some people don’t like it,there’s always an exception to the rule,but generally speaking women do.
    Recently,while in another state,I went to ROSS (clothing store) just looking.I did find some things i wanted to try on what i had,so i went to the fitting rooms,I tried them on,before i came out,the lady that was working the fitting room dept that let me in said ” i wanna see how you look” i said OK,be out soon…she saw what i was wearing she said, “oooh that’s cute,you look good in that ! ” “Hang on,i”ll get the other colour”.So the 2 women went looking for tops,skirts,and dresses for me as i was in the dressing room trying them on.I even asked the women that were fitting room attendants,”Is this creeeping you to ladies out that i am trying on these ? “They both said “heck no,we think its great !” The age of the one lady was about in her late 50’s early 60’s,the other girl was about 26 or so,and the both said the same thing.So i goes to show ya how women of different ages like a guy in women’s clothing,IF it is done with taste.I will never go back to male clothing.I don’t try to walk like a girl,or do the mannerisms that females have,im just a guy that loves female styling.Don’t want a sex change,and etc that we have heard before.This is also a freedom of choice as females do.Think back the the women’s movement to the 70’s.Equally right and so on.I say “HELL YA”,then if women can wear males clothing then guys should
    be able to wear women’s….EQUALITY…… RIIIIIIGHT ?? The people i have came in contact with…95% of the females,of many age’s love what i wear.Just recently,i was coming out of my grocery store,and there were 3 girls going into the store,at the same time i was leaving,one yelled back to me after we already past each other,”Hey,i really like your outfit” , i then said to her, “Thanks” then she said “you are welcome,you look so good in that skirt” It put a smile on my face.So can you guess the age of this female that said this ? I rarely get a negative comment but,its always nice to
    hear the positive…..Well,the girl that said that was in the age range of 14-17….she could of easly said a derogatory comment,but she didnt.So this goes to show ya,many ages likes to see a guy wear a skirt tastefully done,it is all how your body langauge,how you talk,and other things as well..But i know,not ALL females like a guy in a skirt,and i understand that there is always an exception to every rule.For me to wear a skirt is like putting on socks,dont give it much thought.It feels totally natural to me to be in a skirt.When people are unsurewhat to say to me when they see me
    (in a skirt) ,they will say to me “nice kilt”,i will kindly say to them, “This is actually a skirt,a kilt is a TYPE of skirt ” I think they say that for fear of offending me,lol…Clothes are a personal expression in clothing style and personality.If it fits,WEAR IT. Wear what you feel comfortable with and let’s stop gender discrimination. I enjoy wearing skirts.Most people are fine with that.Men who have a problem with men wearing skirts (a kilt is same diff) are loud bullyish men who lack confindence in their own sexuality and cover up their insecurity by attacking others.So many men today live comfortable lives transporting themselves from their cozy homes, to their climaxed controlled cars, and into their environmentally shielded workspaces. Their female counterparts, transgressed long ago into the once male-dominated career lifestyle, are comfortably donning non-bifurcated garments as they go off to work and play.A ” KILT ” is a skirt.Its a type of skirt.It sounds more manly to say “KILT” instead of “skirt”.I find this sooo funny….Straight guys are so hung up about gay crap…it doesnt make you gay.

  7. On November 11th, 2013 at 8:02 pm Nicole Lucette Says:

    All boys wear girls clothes at some point! My son wont wear any undies at all unless it features Dora the Explorer or Barbie! He’s 9 now so now he wants a training bra too….i dont know what to do to stop him, so I just let him wear whatever he wants around the house. Our UPS Driver actually asked me how my daughter was doing last week.

  8. On May 8th, 2016 at 1:14 pm barry ( called Carol ) Says:

    Let him wear girls clothes if he Wants to, because if you try to forcibly stop him he may get really beastly whereas if you just leave he may grow out of it.

  9. On May 27th, 2016 at 2:59 pm julie Says:

    iv to dress as soon as i could like 3 really just love

  10. On February 28th, 2016 at 12:54 am RaeRae Says:

    keep strong anjdbe yourself!!!

  11. On March 17th, 2015 at 9:54 pm gez Says:

    I live in the U.K where we are more libaral about t/s/tg/gat and lesbian rights… let the kid male or female wear what he/she wants to…. we are fighting a war here with people like isis.. who demean women … this is 2015 what does it matter if boys or girls dress as whoever…. does it really matter????? its a democracy and thats what we are fighting for…

  12. On January 12th, 2011 at 11:57 am Kristin (MamaKK922) Says:

    Well done you did wonderful. And I liked seeing your mug. And I am with you about Alex being a butterfly it is cute. My son insists when he grows up he wants to be a mommy or a ballerina. And I say Go ahead not sure how he’s giving birth but I say be what you want to be. But he’s at that age now where he wouldn’t be comfortable wearing girls clothing. But the 3 year old just might he loves having his hairs did and his nails did. And if it makes him happy so be it. But Like you when it comes to that age we will have the talk about society and there norms.

  13. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:21 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I love your son. When he gives birth, you let me know.

  14. On January 12th, 2011 at 8:37 pm Kristin (MamaKK922) Says:

    Well Obvs you would be called you ARE Aunt Becky.

  15. On March 17th, 2015 at 9:56 pm gez Says:

    stupid narrowminded commenmt

  16. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:02 pm Michele Says:

    When my little man was 4, he cam down stairs wearing only a hula skirt and high heels. Nothing else and we were at a friends party. 7 years later and I can still see the picture in my head. Hubby’s face too.

  17. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:21 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That may be the best mental picture I’ve had in weeks.

  18. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:02 pm Julie Says:

    I would be open to it if I had a boy. I have three girls. Gibby one of my five year old twins is a complete tomboy! When she was three she was a ninja turtle for Halloween. At 4 and 5 she was a fire fighter. I let her express herself all the time! I’ve never heard a rude or intolerant comment about it! People think that it’s adorable that she had her own style. I really don’t understand why we can’t show the same tolerance to little boys that want to do the same.

    Gibby is also very boy crazy and I’m sure at some point she’ll ditch the cowboy boots for stilettos. However I love her just the way she is even if she never wears a dress again!

  19. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:23 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I was totally a pirate for Halloween when I was a kid. And no one batted an eyelash about it. I find it a little sad that little boys are supposed to be “manly.”

    Also, your daughter sounds full of the awesome.

  20. On January 12th, 2011 at 8:17 pm Jenn Says:

    I’m still bitter because when I was young, my mother insisted that I be Batgirl for Halloween, when all I really wanted was to be Batman. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive her completely.

  21. On January 13th, 2011 at 9:57 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    See, I would have had the opposite fight with my mother. But my mother was horrified by anything super-girly. Which is why she’s horrified by me.

  22. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:03 pm randine Says:

    I would and I do. My two year old- also Alex, loves to dress up in high heels and pearls. Not only that, but he refers to himself as Nina when he’s in his alter persona and refers to himself in third person. I find it actually quite charming. He looks adorable in pearls.

  23. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:23 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I bet he looks astonishing. Good for him. Pearls are one of my favorites. Seriously.

  24. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:05 pm onecookieshort Says:

    Great job 🙂 I haven’t ever had this conversation with my boys (5 and 2.5). They are both completely uninterested in clothes. Sometimes they express an interest in what shirts they wear. Or their Halloween costumes. And if they are over at a friends house and she has dress up clothes, they might run around with the jewelry on, but that’s about it. However, were they to want to wear a dress or a girl costume. I’d be okay with them doing it at home, or out in public with me, but would discuss it with them if they wanted to wear it to school. Because kids can be mean. And I’d like to save my children from that if possible. And I’m not there to protect them at school.

  25. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:07 pm onecookieshort Says:

    I am most definitely not a robot. Or a troll.

  26. On January 13th, 2011 at 9:58 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    You are so not a robot or a troll. Stupid spam filter.

    I like your answer. Totally true. It’s hard when we can’t protect them.

  27. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:17 pm mommabird2345 Says:

    I am a mom to 3 girls, and my 3yo is obsessed with all things Toy Story. She was Jessie for Halloween, but for her birthday we bought her what she had been asking for for months, Buzz wings & a Buzz tool belt. She runs around in her Buzz wings & belt, saying “To infinity and beyond!”. She loves to watch the movie and do everything that Buzz does. I think it is adorable. I think you should let your children play or dress up with whatever they think is fun. It shouldn’t be about it being a boy or girl thing. They are kids, they don’t care, neither should we.

    Great Job Aunt Becky! 🙂

  28. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:13 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    That’s why kids are awesome. They just don’t care.

  29. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:24 pm Kathy Miranda Says:

    I have girls so I faced the flip side of this issue. Two of my girls spent YEARS in elementary school with basketball shorts as a daily wardrobe staple. When my youngest wanted to wear a dress shirt with her basketball shorts and I said that it might not match, she declared, “Mom. Everything goes with basketball shorts.”

    From the perspective of letting my son wear girls’ clothing, heck, I have pictures of my nephews in tutu’s as toddlers, but I also have a muy macho Hispanic husband. They would NOT have been allowed to leave the house in girls’ clothes. Period.

  30. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:13 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Everything DOES go with basketball shorts! I love your daughter.

  31. On January 12th, 2011 at 3:06 pm Karen (SubMommy) Says:

    My 3rd grade Girl Child has a female classmate who walks, talks, dresses, acts, and hangs out with boys. She has long hair, but other than that – 100% tomboy.

    She’s a really cool kid, too. The coolest? The other kids don’t even blink twice.

    There’s hope.

  32. On January 12th, 2011 at 4:01 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    There is a TON of hope. My guess is that when our kids have kids, we’ll be like, “oh, in MY day…”And then our kids will laugh at us.

  33. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:25 pm gina Says:

    I’d totally let my son wear the butterfly costume. My husband, however, would honest-to-goodness divorce me if I did so. I don’t know about letting him wear a dress to school. It’s hard to imagine that.

    He does, however, choose his clothes each day and if it’s mismatched shoes, his Superman cape, etc., I let it go. It makes me sad that if he did want to wear a dress, I’d have to have the society talk with him.

    Great topic.

  34. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:11 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It’s tricky stuff. The men in my family aren’t as *ahem* supportive about this sort of thing. Such a weird topic. Clothes don’t make people who they are.

  35. On January 19th, 2011 at 9:59 pm karen Says:

    My awesome husband took my son to the park in a princess dress costume his sisters had dressed him up in. It was blue and he wanted to so badly. I was (sort of) napping … I think I would have struggled against myself and let him do it but my guy just said okay let’s go. Kinda funny because my little guy is such a mack truck dude guy.

    Of course, he calls to say that some families are having an impromptu picnic, could I bring food so I had to go, and the moms, especially this one, were like, Oh, Karen, how could you?

    Um … huh? (I totally would have let him, its just a part of me would have protested to me as I put my money where my mouth is. Dresses and sparkly things ROCK, why should the girls have all the fun.)

  36. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:26 pm Kathy Miranda Says:

    PS > Great job!

  37. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:27 pm Jolie Says:

    Rock on Aunt B!

  38. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:10 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    *blushes* Thanks, love!

  39. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:30 pm Jason Says:

    Cools! Now I know what you sound like. I agree with you though 100%. I say let children be children. Hopefully I won’t get plagiarized from posting on your site lol ~nudge nudge~ sarcasm.

    Anyways, keep in touch. VSOP cognac is calling my name.


    Cyrus_Jay @ twitter

    PS – Stealing does give you syphilis ~giggles~ 🙂

  40. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:09 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Hahahaha. Send me some cognac, okay?

  41. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:42 pm Varda (SquashedMom) Says:

    You looked adorable! And your son looked adorable this Halloween as a pink and purple butterfly. For a while, when he was around 5, Ethan had a secret love of pink and purple. He had me search for “manly” purple clothes for him. And also he had me buy him pink and purple PJs which he could wear at home when no one else would see. But if he wanted to go out into the world in girl clothes? I like to think I would support him, but I know I would worry about him getting targeted for bullying. And also 8 is a different age.

    Rock on lovely butterfly boy!

  42. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:09 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I don’t know what I would do if Alex weren’t three. I mean, at three, it’s cute for a boy to wear a sparkly cupcake shirt. But at eight (or nine), you’re right, if Ben wore a dress, it would be fodder for bullies. Tricky subject for sure.

  43. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:44 pm Piper Says:

    My 3rd grader spent his entire pre-K year in a purple corduroy skirt with a ruffle and an appliqued flower. He loved playing dress-up (still does, occasionally) and for Halloween has chosen both Velma and Daphne from Scooby Doo. It was never embarrassing for me, but it was a tough balance between wanting him to be able to express who he was and knowing our society doesn’t have much tolerance for people who fall outside the “norms.” I have argued with my parents, who are sure his dress-up means he’s transgendered or homosexual or some other “deviant,” about it repeatedly. My feeling was that A) he’d probably grow out of it, B) that it was a good life lesson for him to be his own person but to realize that sometimes has consequences, and C) if I disallowed his self-expression, I was denying him his own unique person. Furthermore, I was convinced that if I disallowed his dressing in “girls’ clothes” that it would only make dressing in girls’ clothes more desirable.

    I also take issue with the fact that our society believes it’s OK for a girl to dress like a boy and be a tomboy, but it’s absolutely NOT OK for a boy to show a feminine side. I assure you that my son is very, very boy-ish. I’d bet my boy could beat your boy up, even in a skirt! ;0

    Clothes don’t make a person a boy or a girl. And what is “feminine” and what is “masculine” has changed throughout the ages, too. Once upon a time, it was men who wore make-up and preened. What is a toga if not a dress? I’m pretty sure no one thought Caesar was effeminate.

    In Bali, men wear sarongs. In Scotland, men wear kilts. Personally, I feel our society requires people to conform far too frequently and in far too many ways.

    Viva la differences!

  44. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:08 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I think our differences are what make us interesting. But you’re right and it’s hard that society doesn’t see it that way.

  45. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:15 pm Piper Says:

    Agree completely with differences. That’s what I was trying to say, but apparently less than eloquently.

    Also, for those who think people would be ridiculing, you may be surprised. Perhaps I’m fortunate enough to live in a very accepting place (Portland, Oregon) and to have chosen accepting educational environments, but my son rarely took any flack. And when he did, his older brother stood up for him, which made me very proud. It was a great opportunity for life lessons, actually.

  46. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:25 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Here in Chicago, I think we’d probably be pretty open to having boys in girls clothes. We’re not in a super-conservative area and I can’t see it being a huge issue. (I grew up here, too, and I didn’t take shit for being, well, ME)

  47. On January 12th, 2011 at 2:24 pm StephanieC Says:

    Great job Becky, and I think you said it all quite eloquently, Piper! Good for you both!

    I hope to hold the same attitude and practice it when/if I become a mom. I would never want my child to feel badly, feel guilty, feel judged by me or feel smothered in terms of lack of individuality.

    I’m going through therapy still – I don’t want to do anything that might make my kids head that way too! Support, support, support!

  48. On January 13th, 2011 at 11:36 am onecookieshort Says:

    I wish I could say the same of where I live. While it may be within the Greater D.C. area, everything is judged, especially in my neighborhood. You are judged for your car, your house, your clothes, and whether or not you’re a SAHM (apparently those of us that work are beneath those that don’t have to). So were my sons to go to school in “girls clothes” I can guarantee that they’d get picked on. My older son is already getting bullied by another child because he’s “different” (ADHD).

  49. On February 21st, 2011 at 10:28 am Franky Says:

    As an older adult male (36), I look back and wish I was bullied for wearing girl clothes, then I would have been bullied for being me. Kids will bully no matter what, and they get it from their parents. The life lesson I learned is that once you stand up for yourself the bullies will leave you alone. The hardest part is not being accepted by your parents for who you truthfully really are. My parents, yes they love me, but they don’t love the complete real me. I am like every other guy I love sports and hanging out and going for a drink. I also love all things feminine, make-up, clothing, having Girl Nights Out or In with my Girls. I love the companionship with women and I love ROCKING a sexy dress and heels and being complimented by my Girls. Hopefully one day I will meet a lady that enjoys this about me too as I want to be a father. This is my point women are open enough to hang out with you and go shopping and stuff but they don’t want you as a mate if you are feminine. I think it maybe because they want to know that there man can protect them,(which I can I took MMA) I hear that a lot. They (and me) also have a competitive nature when it comes to looks and clothes. I leave on this note, whats wrong with being a girl, or a “Jillgirl” as I like to say.

  50. On June 11th, 2011 at 8:01 am Raven Storm Says:

    some “experts” say that a transgendered child can be “cured”, but in the case of all transgendered children it’s just the way their brains are wired, I should know being transgendered myself. Knowing that someone will ask me how I knew well basically I’ve always thought to myself what my life would be like if I were born a girl and at one point I even wished or prayed to be “turned” into a girl, hay I was very imaginative 10yr old at the time I loved to pretend, but as I grew older I started to realize that maybe my life life wouldn’t have been so different if I was a girl, now I consider myself as a “External Male” and a “Internal Female”, because after I found out about the internet I started doing research on transgenderism, not what I called it at the time if I can remember I believe I searched for “kids who don’t feel like they’re in the right body” or something like that, but when I found out that 1 of every 500,000 babies that are could have some form of transgenderism. After I found that out and that it was normal and that I wasn’t alone I felt a little better, but I did keep it from my mother for a long time I only reviled it to her by telling her I’m bisexual, she thought maybe she was a little to close to me and “babied” me too much, but I told that I’ve always felt this way and would have felt this way even if she hadn’t done “babied” me. That misconception sometimes has parents blaming them-self’s for their son or daughter becoming a homosexual, but that’s not true; just like transsexuality, homosexuality is wired into someone’s brain in the womb like all our other traits. I also want to say if any of your sons or daughters tell you that they are the opposite sex 1)first take it as a phase 2)if it isn’t a phase then seek help 3)and go to this website for more information and links and one more thing never let them tell you that transgenderism can be “CURED” it can’t.

  51. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:45 pm Erin@MommyontheSpot Says:

    “We’re OK with it, but society is not as open minded as us”- EXCELLENT answer!!

    Awesome job on the momservation!!

  52. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:06 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    *blushes* Aw, thanks. I’m proud to actually have done a VLOG. It’s only taken me, what, how many years? (don’t answer. I don’t want to know)

  53. On January 12th, 2011 at 12:50 pm qcmama Says:

    My son would throw fits at 2 if we didn’t walk down the shoe aisle at the store. Like all out kicking and screaming, and he wanted to try them on, the pinker, the higher the heel the more sparkly the better. He dressed up a lot in his sisters dress up clothes. I have many pictures of him as Cinderella or Snow White or just in different dresses and jewelry. I thought he’d outgrown it. But the other day he came downstairs with his makeup on, jewelry, tights, dress and heels. He is 10. He said he was just playing with his sisters and being nice. I don’t know what this means, if he will grow out of it. Or if he just likes it. I have told him, not everyone will be ok seeing him in girl clothes. But I have also told him, be yourself, no matter what other people say. It doesn’t have to be inside my comfort zone if it is what makes him happy.

  54. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:06 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Your son is ADORABLE. Adorable!

  55. On January 12th, 2011 at 7:57 pm steph gas Says:

    i think what you have told him is great – not everyone will love you dressing like this, but BE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY. everyone needs to tell their children this. and i think there are too many adults who could benefit from being reminded.

    thank you for raising your children to be loving and tolerant.

  56. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:00 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I just love you both.

  57. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:08 pm Tweets that mention Momversation - Boys in Girls Clothes | Mommy Wants Vodka -- Says:

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Aunt Becky, Brandon Butters. Brandon Butters said: I just wanna be honest and out in the open right now; I watched a momversation. […]

  58. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:10 pm Kristina Says:

    I would agree with you. However, i can see what the others are saying to a degree. It wouldn’t be my discomfort in him wearing it as much as me knowing what kind of insult he will face and i would want to save him from inviting that. On the other hand I would also want to have that opportunity for him to begin to learn the inner strength of being able to handle that. I know alot of people might think that’s cruel but I dont want to be an overprotective parent. I would want my kids to be as independent as possible as early on as possible. I’m not a parent yet, but I feel that the owrld is changing and growing very fast and those who survive and succeed best are the most certain of who they are from an early age.

  59. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:16 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Agreed. Good call!

  60. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:16 pm The Resident Bitch Says:

    I am so excited for you! You are so lucky that your voice records and sounds awesome, when I record my voice sounds all kinds of distorted. Plus? How awesome that you get to do something like this? It’s like slowly you and your friends are taking over the universe through the Internet. I love it.

    Plus? I would so let my son run around in a dress. Jeff may not like it as much but hey, I’d let it happen.

  61. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:19 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I *just* watched it. I was REALLY nervous about it. What if I looked like a total asshole? (not what I was saying, but just how I sounded?) I’ve never seen myself on camera before.

  62. On January 12th, 2011 at 2:03 pm Kristina Says:

    I think everyone feels that way. You did great! You didn’t look nervous at all. You seemed natural.

  63. On January 12th, 2011 at 4:02 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Thank you! My eyeballs were SO itchy while I was recording. I have to get different contacts. Blinking like that is NOT sexy.

  64. On January 12th, 2011 at 4:09 pm qcmama Says:

    I thought you were trying not to roll your eyes at som of the things not Heather was saying. lmao. I was. You were awesome, so was Mamaspohr. I <3 you both. I wish I knew you in real life. 🙂

  65. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:40 pm seekingelevation Says:

    My three-year-old son rocks a tutu. And we let him. I figure it’ll pass, and if it doesn’t, he’s going to need parents who love him as he is. (Plus he’ll be able to share clothes with his sister. Cha Ching.)

  66. On January 12th, 2011 at 4:02 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I love tutus. There is NOTHING not awesome about them.

  67. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:40 pm seekingelevation Says:

    My three-year-old son rocks a tutu. And we let him. I figure it’ll pass, and if it doesn’t, he’s going to need parents who love him as he is. (Plus he’ll be able to share clothes with his sister. Cha Ching.)

  68. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:45 pm Kelly Says:

    Why was there no concern about if a little girl dressed like a boy? What if her daughter wanted to wear one of those muscle costumes out in public? Would she have a problem with that?

    People need to learn to relax, just enjoy life, and do what makes them happy. That’s what your son was doing when you let him wear his butterfly costume… It’s a lesson that adults have forgotten because they are too self-conscious.

  69. On January 12th, 2011 at 4:03 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I was a pirate one year and no one looked at me twice. It’s a weird double standard.

  70. On January 12th, 2011 at 1:49 pm Mel Says:

    Both of my monkey’s have played with my shoes and watched me do my make-up and hair and wanted to do the same thing. I think it is natural for kids to look up to other people, parents, siblings, friends, etc and want to be like them. And that is a GOOD thing. In fact, just last night Crash (who is 3) asked when he would get boobs like me. I told him that he won’t get them, since only girls do. Then, he asked why Dad does. (Bwhahahaha!)

    But, I digress. Kids don’t have the same filter as we do. I have a hard time believing the people who are absolutely certain their child who likes to wear dresses at two is going to be a gay and/or a cross-dresser. I think that kids like what they like, and don’t look at things (obviously) with the same perspective as adults. (Heck, all of us look through our own life filters) I do believe that what other’s say, especially those they trust, can lead them in a certain direction. All about the self-fulfilling prophesies, you know.

    Besides, part of being a parent is teaching them that there is a time and place for things and still nurture their independence, confidence and sense of self.

    Parenting is hard work, yo.

  71. On January 12th, 2011 at 4:06 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Parenting is incredibly hard work. No one told me there’d be stuff like THIS involved. Makes me miss picking out breast pumps. (sorta)

  72. On January 12th, 2011 at 2:23 pm Citygirl Farmhand Says:

    First of all, I just want to acknowledge how darn cute you are!

    I used to dress my little brother in nightgowns and call him Jenny when we were kids, way back in the 80s. Today he’s a totally normal and wonderful 30 year old man with a girl friend who gets lots of nice gifts from Victoria’s Secret.

  73. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:00 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Bwahahaha! Jenny was such an 80’s name. I remember WISHING I was “Jenny” and not “Becky.”


    Ah, the 80’s.

  74. On January 12th, 2011 at 2:23 pm Neeroc Says:

    It would really upset me to know how judgmental other people would be. That would be the hardest thing for me. I try and tone it down when V wants to wear her angel costume out of house, and I’d probably do the same for a boy. That’s just because of things like wings being a total PITA to wash and cram in a carseat tho.

    Hell, I was totally pissed when some punk-ass told my 2 year old that she was wearing ‘boy shoes’ because her runners were black, not pink, not sparkled and not covered with Disney/satan spawn.

    For the record, I let my daughter dress herself, and some days it’s purple leopard tops with pink skull legwarmers, and some days it’s her spiderman pjs. I’d wear spiderman pjs if it wouldn’t get me committed.

  75. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:01 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Hahahaha! I bet you’d rock those Spiderman Jammies.

  76. On January 12th, 2011 at 2:27 pm Kristin Says:

    My boys never asked but I think my response would be in line with yours, Becky. I have freely and openly bought my boys traditionally girl toys and think I would do so with apparel if there was a true and honest desire to have it.

  77. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:02 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    We bought the boys each dolls when I was pregnant and I was happy to do it. They both play with them. Regardless of their sexual orientation, they may be daddies some day.

  78. On January 12th, 2011 at 2:33 pm stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:

    mine boys won’t wear pink, cuz its a ‘gurwl color’ bu they will wear skirts, heels, ruffles, flowers, etc

    My 8 year old wants his ears pierced, with dangly earrings, but “like axes and swords earrings, mama, or you know, ninjas”

    Now I have to find is dangly ninja earrings, sedate his father and we’re good to go.

  79. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:03 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I just laughed so hard I choked on my coffee.

  80. On January 12th, 2011 at 2:41 pm April Says:

    Now why didnt(wouldn’t) she talk about letting a girl wear boys clothes? It goes both ways!
    Also–do we get to see the boy butterfly? Sounds cute!

  81. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:04 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Of course! I’ll dig up a picture of Alex as the Manly Butterfly. He was, I have to say, SO CHARMING.

    And the topic was boys in girls clothes. Apparently that’s a big deal right now (I don’t know WHY).

  82. On January 12th, 2011 at 2:58 pm Misty O'Brien Says:

    Oh hell yes I would. My 4 year old is constantly dressing up in costumes at school and the other day he was wearing a yellow princess dress and a crown and I just adored it! Kids that age don’t care about gender stereotypes. And when they’re older, why deny them who they are? I will love my kid no matter what he wears!

  83. On January 12th, 2011 at 3:06 pm Misty O'Brien Says:

    After listening to the other two women on the video, I disagree with them. I would not sit my son down and tell him that what he wants to wear is socially unacceptable. Why make your child worry? Instead, try turning the tables on the staring crowds and judgmental eyes and push the idea of being open minded and accepting. To me, that’s being a better role model to your child than folding your hand and caving into society’s gender stereotypes.

  84. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:04 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Totally agree.

  85. On January 12th, 2011 at 3:27 pm Kate Says:

    When I was working in the public schools with kindergarteners I had a bit of an argument with one of the teachers about this. There was a little boy in the class who loved to go to the dress-up center and put on the pink boa and high heels. She was really concerned about this for some reason and wanted to steer him towards the more “manly” costumes like the firefighter. Luckily I was able to convince her to just let him be.

  86. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:05 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Good for you! I mean, really, what’s the harm?

  87. On January 12th, 2011 at 5:27 pm Kathykate Says:

    first: shit girl, you’re young! i’m sure i could be your mom! and if I were, you could wear anything you damn well please.
    second: my boy (youngest of 4, three girls and him) has a thing for Christina Aguliara. Wanted to be her for halloween at 4, 5, & 6. You probably took your kid to see Untangled — we went to Burlesque (he’s 11). He’s addicted to Project Runway and thinks Amondo was robbed. That said, he’s a boy’s boy: complete with affinity for balls, farts, and wankers.

    Parents: lighten up. it’s clothes for chrissake. Count your blessings they’re wearing any cuz my daughter opted for no undies until 2nd grade leading to many a parent/teacher conferences….
    ps. shit you’re young!

  88. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:06 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Dude, your son is awesome. Seriously? I want to be his friend. I had no one to go see Burlesque with. I would have taken him.

  89. On January 12th, 2011 at 6:24 pm Jennifer Simson Says:

    I was with ya on your answer. My son likes to wear tutus and dresses b/c he LOVES his sister and she loves to do that. He looks up to her right now. My husband is always trying to explain to him that boys don’t wear dresses, etc., but honestly, you aren’t going to change his likes/desires just because you tell him that. For instance, let’s pretend he’s a transvestite or cross-dresser, I’m not going to be able to change that, I would simply be making him unhappy by not allowing him to express himself.

  90. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:06 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Exactly. Just yeah!

  91. On January 12th, 2011 at 7:10 pm nicole Says:

    Woot! Very nicely answered! And very nicely said.

    I totally let my son do whatever it is clothes wise that he wants (as long as he is not inviting frostbite or heatstroke). From the time he was 2 until he was 5, he had his own ‘makeup’ (sparkly face powder) that he would put on while I applied my makeup.

    We do often have the ‘most people are mean, judgemental asshats’ conversation A FUCKTON of times; mostly though its because of what he reads. This conversation ends with brainstorming killer comebacks, and hits lightly on the fact that there is an incredible range in normal human behavior. Its hard to be abnomral sometimes. He is 9, and in a sort of grunge rock/renaissance festival stage. Pretty macho, but I let him wear that too.

  92. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:09 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It’s hard to be a kid. I think you have the “people are mean judgmental asswads” a zillion times with them because it’s just the truth. Luckily, you get older, and your skin gets thicker and you stop giving a shit what other people think of you.

    Your son sounds awesome.

    And, by the way, I would be remiss in pointing out that my own 9-year old is beyond hope for dressing. He gets hot and so wearing sweaters is out.

    It’s ass cold here.

    You can imagine the fights he’s had with members of his family when he shows up and wants to leave the house in shorts in subzero weather.

  93. On January 12th, 2011 at 7:12 pm Bella Says:

    The Gremlin totally loves pink and Barbie. He makes up for it by beating all of us to a pulp on a regular basis so I am not worried lool. You’re awesome!

  94. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:10 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Loving pink and Barbie AND beating people up means he’s kinda just like me!

  95. On January 12th, 2011 at 7:58 pm Jenn Says:

    I would definitely let boys wear girl clothes. In fact, I encourage it. I mean, if Monkey *wants* to, I encourage it. I don’t force him to pick girl clothes over boy clothes. His favorite ‘accessory’ is a bright pink scarf – he wears it everywhere. I also let Boo pick out boy clothes. It’s all the same to me, as long as my kids are happy.

  96. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:10 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Precisely. Happiness is what matters, in the end.

  97. On January 12th, 2011 at 8:10 pm a Says:

    Nice job, Aunt Becky. Although you totally look twelve in that video…

    It’s a tough road to walk down – gender stereotypes are so ingrained – especially for boys. I guess it takes a special woman to be the mom of a boy and do it right.

    My girl says she wants to be a boy most of the time, because most of the kids in her daycare class are boys. She says she wants short hair like daddy’s (but actually likes her long hair). She wants to wear her soccer shirt all the time. I say, whatever she wants to do – soon enough she’ll be stuck in the peer pressure continuum.

  98. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:12 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    It’s tricky shit, this parenting business. Parenting boys is hard. Parenting girls is hard. Different reasons, I’m starting to suspect now.

    I’ll have to tell the story of Ben and the Nail Polish because ZOMG! The DRAMAZ! (Ben was 2 at the time)

    And yeah, I look young which is awesome because when I sneak in a SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH YOU IGNORANT SLUT, no one ever sees it coming.

  99. On January 12th, 2011 at 8:15 pm Jenn Says:

    I answered the question BEFORE I watched the video (I know, I know). I just wanted to add: YOU ROCK! I think that letting our kids know that we support them, no matter what, is far more important than what they are wearing. I’m so proud! xoxo

  100. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:13 am Your Aunt Becky Says:



  101. On January 12th, 2011 at 9:13 pm a field of dreams Says:

    “Ugly mug” – pfft! You’re Gorgeous! And my 16m old boy likes to play with my high heels.

  102. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:13 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    My kids go nuts over my high heels. They’re HIGH high heels, too.

  103. On January 13th, 2011 at 11:43 am onecookieshort Says:

    I forgot about that. My 2.5yo is obsessed with shoes. Any shoes. And will try to wear my heels if I leave them out. My only worry is that he’ll fall in them.

  104. On January 12th, 2011 at 9:29 pm SharleneT Says:

    As long as it’s the child’s choice, I don’t see a problem. If it’s the parent insisting because they couldn’t accept them as they were born, that’s a whole other bag of worms… I wore jeans and shirts as a teen and would take anyone on who said they were boys clothes… come visit when you can..

  105. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:14 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Very VERY well said!

  106. On January 12th, 2011 at 9:33 pm Heather Says:

    My thoughts? Clearly you have too much time on your hands as a parent if you can manage the time to worry about whether your kid wears pink or blue, skirts or pants. As far as I’m concerned, I’m happy if she’s dressed, and I frequently buy her boy clothes on purpose because they get all the cool dinosaurs and robots.

  107. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:15 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Dude. I want a shirt with a flippin robot on it. Seriously.

  108. On January 13th, 2011 at 11:44 am onecookieshort Says:

    Look in the Men’s department at Target. Because they have all the cool shirts. I just picked up a Toy Story Alien shirt from there.

  109. On January 12th, 2011 at 10:32 pm sue j. Says:

    go, you. The Momversation is all kinds of great, and I think you were great.

  110. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:15 am Your Aunt Becky Says:


    Thanks. I was really happy with how it turned out. I didn’t sound too stupid.

  111. On January 12th, 2011 at 11:12 pm Sherry Says:

    The most important thing a mother can do for her children is simply to love them entirely without prejudice and unconditionally. My son put together some of the most outrageous outfits when he was young. Other than retinal damage I came through it just fine. I used to say he had style but no taste. He grew up to be a straight male while my daughter grew up gay. I don’t give a shit one way or the other. As long as they are happy in their lives I am happy too. BTW, my daughter and her partner are getting married. I can’t wait! Now I have a super great son and three gorgeous daughters! If how I felt about my kids depended on their choice of clothes, well, I wouldn’t be a very good mother then would I???

  112. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:16 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I am framing this in the Comment Fall of Fame. If I had one. Shit. Maybe I should make one for THIS COMMENT.

  113. On January 12th, 2011 at 11:48 pm GingerB Says:

    Holy shit woman, your eyes are like 100% bigger than those of everyone else on the planet. They look big and dark and mysterious in your children but they somehow look even bigger on you.

    You’ll be awesome as a permanent Momversationalist!!

    So a few years ago my friend was going to get married and her fiance was all “I don’t want to get married in a suit, I hate suits” and we were all well . . . while we planned bridesmaid’s dresses and such and ultimately he picked a Tibetan Monk’s robe and it was kinda strange for everyone but we were all open minded and then a few years later his hair got longer and then he grew boobs and then he told his wife he wanted to become a woman and still be married to her and ultimately they divorced and she is still good friends with her ex, but not being gay, she just couldn’t stay married to a woman. This person told me he (now she) felt wrong since childhood which I thought was extremely sad, I can’t imagine self loathing beyond normal teenaged self loathing but suffice it to say – being transgendered didn’t start by wearing girl’s clothes, although he was drawn to girls’ clothes, girls’ makeup and more importantly girls’ experiences since childhood, before puberty. It was all very strange and very eye opening and pretty hard on my friend who thought she met and married a man with who she would have lots of nice hetero sex and some babies. Surprise! You never see it coming!

    So I say if they keep wearing the dresses, do everything, everything, everything to tell that child that he/she is worthy of love and acceptance, forever.

  114. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:18 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I would hate it if my kid grew up and told me he’d felt like I’d shown him that who he was at the core of it all was not okay with me. Because it is. Whomever he is.

    That breaks my heart for your friend and her former partner.

  115. On January 13th, 2011 at 12:45 am Lenetté aka The Shitzizle Says:

    awesome job! makes me wonder about the damage that parents could cause by not letting their children express themselves through clothing. it’s not new news that many children as young as two and three don’t identify with their own gender. many children feel that they were born into the wrong body. so…

    i loved your take and i love that you expressed it so well. 🙂

  116. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:19 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    I like to hope that most of our kids will grow up to feel like we accept them as they are. I really, really hope so, at least.

    And thank you. I think they did a great job with it.

  117. On January 13th, 2011 at 7:22 am Melissa the Librarian Says:

    Awesome job, Aunt Becky! My boys, 11 and 8, both like to wear rings and necklaces, and high heels. Especially when they bowl, they like the four inch high ones. My 11 year old loves purple, and both of them paint their nails on a regular basis.

    They’re old enough that we’ve had the conversation about norms and how, dressing a certain way can lead to people being judgmental. Both of them have taken the stance that, if someone doesn’t like how they look, then don’t look at them.

    Husband is supportive, too; it’s his nail polish they use.

  118. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:21 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Nail polish is full of the win. What color do they like? (I’m curious because I don’t know what’s in fashion now)

    And there’s nothing wrong with that. I think rings and necklaces and all that? They’re awesome. So rock the hell on with that. Your kids rule.

  119. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:12 am Wombat Central Says:

    Congrats on the new gig, girl!

    Confession: As I watched, I wondered if you were perched on the marker couch.

  120. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:20 am Your Aunt Becky Says:

    Hahahaha! The Jesus Marker Couch is blue. And the walls in there are a green that makes me stabby, so I opted for my white (WHITE!) couches.

  121. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:50 am Dora Says:

    Awesome vlog! Alex is the most lovely butterfly EVAH!

    I think you’re right that this will be less of an issue for the next generation. Unfortunately, I think it will still be something of an issue. These attitudes change slowly. Recently my mother was telling me that my daughter was fascinated watching her put on makeup. She kept saying that a boy would not be interested at all. It was so odd to me that she felt the need to keep repeating that. Regardless of the fact that I responded that it was not necessarily true. It made me sad. My mother is pretty liberal, and yet still stuck regarding gender stereotypes. Made me sad for all the GBLT folks with family to the right of my mother.

    I also felt sad reading comments here saying basically, “my son liked to dress up in girl stuff, and now he’s a totally straight man.” So what if he wasn’t? If my daughter want to date or marry a woman, I just hope she finds a nice, loving one. (And they’ll let me live with them and take care of me in my old age! ;-))

  122. On January 13th, 2011 at 1:06 pm Amanda Says:

    My brother loves rainbows. Every year for his birthday/christmas/any other holiday he asks for a rainbow. That’s it.

    I think it’s beautiful

  123. On January 13th, 2011 at 1:28 pm CatPS Says:

    Loved your response! And I agree with you on putting off the “society talk” for a few years. A three-year-old shouldn’t be burdened by worrying about what other people might think. And what an AWESOME comment about having your kids’ backs. If only all parents understood the importance of supporting their kids so they can build self confidence and explore self expression. Can’t wait to see next year’s halloween costumes!

  124. On January 13th, 2011 at 2:03 pm andygirl Says:

    so I know it’s dorky that the cat lady loves momversation, but I dooooo! and I was so excited to see you on there! like my friend was on TV or something. I am such a dork.

  125. On January 13th, 2011 at 3:12 pm Marian Allen Says:

    This has always struck me as weird and unfair: Girls can wear boys’ clothes and they’re cute, but boys aren’t “allowed” to wear girly clothes. My oldest grandson went through a period in his middle teens of wearing girls’ jeans and T-shirts, and it made me rather uncomfortable. The main reason was, this is a small town. If I had been certain that wearing girls’ clothing would grow into wearing women’s clothing, that would have been okay, but I didn’t want him to get tagged as “the guy who wears girls’ clothes” if he wasn’t going to be that guy, you know?

    For the same reason, I wouldn’t let a young boy wear girls’ clothes out, once he got old enough for day care or pre-school. I would tell him that he’s too young for people to be able to tell if he’s a boy or a girl except from his clothes, and it might embarrass people if they thought he was a girl and then found out they were wrong. But I would totally let him wear girls’ clothes at home. It would give us good chances to talk about gender roles and stereotyping and public opinion and diversity.

  126. On January 13th, 2011 at 10:27 pm Lenetté aka The Shitzizle Says:

    hey Aunt Becky, i think you will like this! it goes perfectly with what you’re talking about here…

  127. On January 15th, 2011 at 10:24 am Dana Says:

    Soooo late to this party!

    I have a 14 year old son who, although he doesn’t wear girls clothing anymore (he did when he was much younger), dresses WAY out of the norm for the very conservative, farming community we live in. He is quite capable of understanding social norms and knowing that he dresses outside of those in our community. He gets to make the choice.

  128. On January 15th, 2011 at 2:41 pm Kelly Says:

    Being the permissive mother than I am, I allowed my daughter wear boys clothes so if my son wanted to wear girls clothing, I say why the hell not?

  129. On January 15th, 2011 at 8:26 pm Kate Says:

    My son can wear whatever, whenever- and if I ever had a daughter, I’d let her wear a muscle suit. We’re always championing equal pay and paternity leave- it has to go both ways, and it has to start with our kids. Let’s not get stuck in the past and instead think of the wonderful ways we can one day be known as the totally forward-thinking grandparents who were uncannily ahead of their time. Tu-tu power!

  130. On January 16th, 2011 at 7:55 pm Jackie Says:

    I step out of lurking mode…

    I am mother to 2 wonderful girls, and my husband and I go rounds on this topic were we to actually end up with a son, ever. This is because…I am sister to 2 amazing young men. They are 5 and 9 years younger than me respectively. I have a lovely portrait of us in front of the fireplace… all of us are wearing pink footie pajamas. My brothers were no strangers to my desire to dress them up in my outgrown party dresses and I pranced them around the neighborhood. My middle brother went to a progressive high school that had such spirit inducers as “cross dressing” day. He went through my closet and put together an outfit, complete with skirt- for all 4 years. My baby brother, who is awesome and for the record a straight young man, is pursing a career in ballet- in LONDON!!!! As a very young boy he enjoyed cross-dressing putting together all sorts of he got older he borrowed my “goth” knee high boots with enormous heals, it took an insane amount of begging to get them back (read his feet finally outgrew my shoe size). His senior year of high school he dressed as a bride and his girlfriend as the groom. at his “dress rehearsal” my daughter put on her bride costume and merriment was had by all he said, “when you were pregnant I thought I was gonna dress with your son in matching white suits… I guess this’ll due ha ha ha”.
    My point is… this is what I grew up with so IF I had a son that WANTED to dress in girls clothes, whatever no problem. My husband disagrees. I guess we’ll cross that road IF we get there… but if I DO have a son, for sure he’s gonna wear the DIVA rainbow jacket just to piss my mother-in-law off…

    PS… it says there are 116 comments… but none show up… I wanted to read them!

  131. On January 16th, 2011 at 10:09 pm Cute-Ella Says:

    I don’t have kids yet, but I’m with you Becky, if he wants to, let him. When he’s old enough to understand a little more, talk to him. And I think he made a beautifully handsome butterfly.

  132. On January 17th, 2011 at 11:55 am Ewokmama Says:

    My son (4.5 years) has a tutu and has worn it out of the house. It was Pride Day of all days and he was also wearing an astronaut shirt (which for some reason is “masculine”?). He also has long hair (his dad has long hair, as well). Sometimes he says he wants to be a princess. Sometimes he says he wants to be Spiderman or a Viking. He likes to try on different identities, I think. He is very clear with people that he is a boy.

    I know as a kid I was tomboyish and got angry when I was gifted Barbies instead of Transformers or cars (which was ALWAYS). I don’t want my child to go through that feeling that he isn’t seen for who he really is and can’t express himself.

    And yeah – here is a picture of Jack wearing a tutu and his dad’s football cap:

  133. On January 19th, 2011 at 11:50 am Beth Says:

    I think you answered very well. It’s something that you have to take as it comes. All kids are going to push boundaries with clothes – whether it’s a girl wanting to wear dishwashing gloves and galoshes in the middle of summer to school or a boy wanting to wear a glittery butterfly costume to play group. Sometimes it doesn’t matter and, hell, it’s not worth fighting over when it’s something that doesn’t hurt them or anyone else.

  134. On January 20th, 2011 at 1:26 pm Ludicrous Mama Says:

    Another mommy blogger had a son wanting to dress in a ‘girl’ costume this Halloween – as Daphne from Scooby Doo. She got a lot of flak from the other preschool moms.

    I don’t like how she starts her post, since cross-dressing does not always equate to being gay, and kids don’t start seeing and conforming to gender bias on their own until after age 5, so it’s not fair to start labeling anyone before that age!

    And I thought the Momversation was unfair to ask someone without boys to answer that question. Because until you have a little peener standing there in front of you with his big guileless eyes, asking to be a fairy princess for the school costume party, you don’t KNOW what you’ll do. I kinda wanted to punch her in the gob. “I’d talk to him sooner. I wouldn’t let him leave the house” etc. Puh-leez. It’s not the other 3-year-olds who will be making fun of him at school. It would be the adults. Period. Because, unless they go to a school with kids 6 and up, the other kids DON’T HAVE GENDER BIAS YET! THEY’LL think his sparkly wings are super cool!

    I have it ‘easy’ so far, since I have a girl. If she wanted to run around all day in a Superman costume, I wouldn’t get looks or comments any worse than I do now when she’s out and about in her jammies.

    All the commenters on this post have talked about their boys under age 5, which just further proves the point. I want to hear from parents whose kids wanted to be a princess at age 3 or 4, but then stopped talking about it after 5. Because in most cases, that’s what will happen.

  135. On January 20th, 2011 at 1:40 pm Ludicrous Mama Says:

    Just read that bit from Piper! She’s totally right about the make-up and skirts on guys throughout history! And one of the few boys still interested after age 5! But the salient point she made was that, even at that age, there was little harassment from THE OTHER KIDS! All these moms talking about how they need to protect their kids from ridicule… what ridicule? Again, it’s mostly the ADULTS who have a problem. And they don’t harass the kid. They harangue the MOM. So really you don’t want your boy out in a dress so YOU don’t get harassed. Granted, once they hit middle school/junior high, they’ll get slammed by the other kids. Because that’s when they start getting slammed with macho hormones and do things to try and win the approval of their peers, like picking on the ‘freaks.’ There is still a little of that in elementary school, from bullies, but they’re usually the exception, not the rule.

  136. On July 21st, 2011 at 5:38 am Kelly Says: here’s my sister in laws answer, I liked her take on it. Good job on the momversation!

  137. On October 18th, 2012 at 9:41 pm Ronan Devlin Says:

    Thank you for this video very much. I am 38 and male. I very much love wearing clothing that makes me feel strange and different. I can remember having this desire as a small child but back then it did not feel strange or different. I can clearly remember loving the coulers and textures of girls clothing and wondering why I had to wear such tedious affair myself.
    The intervening adult years have made those feelings feel perverse and strange and something I should be ashamed of. The very fact that you wonderful mothers are on here working out how best to protect your sons from society’s tedious rules shows how far feminism has come. Did I just say feminism? Yes I did. My mother and Father taught me to understand that there was no difference between a man and a women in any way (save for purely functional biological reasons) so I never grew up with any reason to believe liking feminine things was in any way sissy, inferior etc..
    I think you are all wonderful for having this debate as it will mean that boys can be boys in the way that girls are allowed to be girls (ie let them just get on with being them selves)

  138. On November 13th, 2012 at 2:47 pm Josephine Shaffer Says:

    When i was 10 years old i like dressing up as a cute girl i always like to put on dresses, high heels, i also putting on skirts i was a boy too today i still like to wear women’s clothes so why not other boys like me wearing girls clothes, and play with dolls as they choose.

  139. On January 21st, 2013 at 10:37 pm Charles Savoie Says:

    I don’t have all the answers, however the certainty is that to understand clothing and gender, one does not consult any “mental health professional,” they are totally uninformed as to history and probably never read National Geographic Magazine (showing many modern cultures with men wearing items that in the USA would be classed as “female.”) There can be no question but that many men have overreacted to the situation of society denying human choices to men, while promoting those choices to women. They overreact by committing the basic error of agreeing that these forbidden accoutrements are female intrinsic! They are NOT! But if a man pads his hips, wears a bra, tries to affect his voice, and uses a standardized female name, he is now crossing a real line between the sexes. God, or nature, provided the following, and ONLY the following, as sex distinctions—facial hair on men only; differences of voice; differences of hips, shoulders, and chest configuration. Skirts and frilly clothes per se, as female? That’s mythology. The long hair/short hair sex division was also caused by social forces—in early medieval times, European military regulations started mandating short hair on soldiers, because head lice started causing problems, and soldiers could not afford distractions on watch. The parasites were less difficult to wash out of the scalp with short hair. So by association, what could be more masculine than a soldier? Men not in militaries slowly started wearing shorter hair. Hair grooming and barber’s arts were not so easy centuries past. But, do you not recall American history? The Continental Congress was made up of men with pigtails and powdered wigs. Not so today—an overriding social force, once set in motion, usually cascades to its final impact on people’s habits. Fancy clothes are sex neutral! Google images of Beefeaters, Evzones, Tanoura, Kathakali, Pauliteiros, Kocek, Albanians, Black Watch Highlanders.

  140. On December 21st, 2012 at 6:41 pm Bob Says:

    You girls can wear what ever you want when ever you want. A boy is a weirdo and girls are normal. Not fare!

  141. On January 20th, 2013 at 2:13 pm Charles Savoie Says:

    That there are 2 sexes does not militate they should dress differently. We only accept this idea so far as allowing choice to women is concerned. Social forces cause clothing behavior, not “brain chemistry,” that’s a ploy to peddle toxic psychiatric “medications.” Look up the NY Times editorial “A Curious Disease” from May 1876 in which it called for trousered women to be sent to “hospitals for the insane.” In June 1943 Evelyn Bross was ordered by a Chicago judge to see a psychiatrist for 6 months after being arrested for wearing pants! But it was the factory work in World War 2 that freed women to wear pants when nothing else succeeded! Pants were invented for horseback riding! Rome exiled men in pants in AD393. Pants are named after an Italian clown! Greek men wear pleated skirts, Egyptian male dervishes wear embroidered skirts, male dancers in Bhutan wear petticoats. Facial hair—not pants—is required for men to be “dressed like men.” Stubbornly calling skirts/dresses female attire is mere associative reasoning. Boys in America were raised in petticoats, dresses and skirts till just before World War I. Judicial robes, graduation gowns and choir robes are remnants of the skirt age for men. There is no Biblical prohibition against men in skirts, proof is that Christ commended the Roman soldier in Luke 7 as having the greatest faith. Any film maker showing a Roman centurion in blue jeans or suit and tie would be howled out of the country, even in this mass hypnosis trouser saturated culture! Men need more crotch space than women, skirts are anatomically a better match for males than for females.

  142. On January 31st, 2013 at 9:30 pm Blake Says:

    I wear a skirt everyday m-sun.I also wear a skirt to work…What’s happened to freedom of choice? If we can’t allow the guys have the same freedom as women what right do we have to tell them what to wear. Just because they have the choice to wear anything they like? Everyone wants to choose a man’s wardrobe rather than the man choosing his own wardrobe. Western society brainwashes fictious stories about “Oh No!! this would be ridiculous for a man wearing a skirt. But do any women who wear pants get the “you’re wierd” comment or get frowned upon just by her choice ?The reason why men don’t want to wear skirts is because of the BS people write negitively about this subject and that they are afraid to try one on.The NY Times May 27, 1876 p.6 editorial “A Curious Disease” said women in trousers needed treatment in “the best conducted hospitals for the insane.” Later comes WWII and puts 17 million women into pants, breaking psychiatry’s curse on women of being stuck in skirts. That curse still binds on men however. Psychiatry is extremely toxic to all human liberties. Salves that wanted freedom had “drapetomania.” Roman soldiers were excessively masculine and wore skirts. Trousers are a horse back riding invention. Skirts and trousers are style differences never sex differences. Sex differences occur in anatomically distinct items like athletic supporters and bras. Men are senselessly denied human rights in clothing. This is the fault first of psychiatry and second, of religious fanaticism.
    I am a straight guy,with 2 kids and so on…Not that has anything to do with this topic.I wear a skirt everyday,to work and when im not at work.I am just the same person as if i was wearing jeans.I wear a pair of jeans maybe once a month at most.You should try it some time guys,,then you would know why alot of guys like skirts.And just a FYI,women adopted the skirt from the mans wardrobe,AND it wasnt until the 1930’s or so til women wore pants. When women first started wearing pants,and they had the risk of being arrest.Do a google search on the history of the skirt.Dont be affraid to go looking for skirts.Go to Goodwill types.Look for pleated skirts.i have many.About 10 or so..And most women like to see a guy in a skirt for a change.As of last night i was standing in line at the cash register,and there was a woman behind me and she said,” i really like your skirt” i then said to her,” thanks”.I told her “im tired of only just wearing pants.”she then said “i dont blame you, skirts are much better, you look good in yours. (I was in a red and white plaid pleated skirt ,about 3 inches or so above the knee.)” i said, “thx”. I think a guy in a skirt looks like a guy in a skirt.. (And when its cold out, i will wear leggins in black or brown). When a women says she wants to wear a pair of “pants”, society celebrates her right for equality, but when a man say he wants to wear a skirt, his gender identity is brought into question,and he needs to go to a doctor ! ! So stupid. No one says a woman is crossdressing when she is in pants, no one says that she is a lesbian, because she is wearing jeans.So why do we think of these things of men..?..I thought we had a equal rights movement years ago ? Rights for who ? Were males included in this ? If so,by using this logic,that “women are equal to men”.,then “men are equal to women”.Females wear alot of guy stuff already.So then men should be able to wear clothes that females wear..and not be called names or pointed at and etc RIGHT ? But why is that ?? When we see a girl wearing guy clothes,we say things like this >, “awe,cute” or shes a “tomboy” ,but none of those type of phrases are for men ? I think that it should be a equal for both genders…So guys,wear what YOU want to wear.If you do wear a skirt out in public (“OUT IN PUBLIC”… ,that sounds kinda like a devious plot) just be yourself. Dont act goofy or walk different than you would if ya had jeans on.I wear mine everywere i go,Auto parts store,grocery,pay a bill and so on..And i dont feel any awkwardness, actually, feel better wearing a skirt than pants .And a skirt,(as we all have read in these type of blog’) is for COMFORT..and 95 % of guys that wears a skirt ARE NOT HOMOSEXUAL….it is the married/single guy that wears them.and i get people taking picture of me,thats fine.Today i caught a woman taking a picture of me on her cell phone,when saw me looking at her,she just looked back to her cell phone,and not looking up acting like she is doing something was a funny thing….Yes,you will get some looks.But from my point of view, MOST people dont really give ya a second look.Your dressing for YOU and not THEM.You only live once..

  143. On February 1st, 2013 at 3:51 pm Charles Savoie Says:

    Who’s calling me a prankster? I don’t like that, it’s a baseless appellation.

  144. On February 2nd, 2013 at 10:16 pm Josephine Shaffer Says:

    I see a boy wearing a denim skirt, and tee shirt it’s ok when he does there’s no problem with that even if he wears a dress it’s still ok i would like to know him.

  145. On March 2nd, 2013 at 1:22 pm christine Says:

    I’m a mom and my son is now 38. Through out his childhood, he always showed a fondness for girl’s clothes. I totally supported him in this and provided him with a better girl wardrobe than boy one. We kept all his girl clothes in my closet though for friends sake. At age 13 we were the same size. We spent many a weekend away as mom and daughter. This went on till he moved away to college. I have asked if he missed those days like I do and he said yes.

    Puberty kind of took its toll and made it difficult to pass. But at age 13, “she” would spend the whole weekend in a dress or skirt, and shopping all over the place with me. Even in the cool weather, she would prefer a wool jumper to pants.

    He now has a family kids and a happy life.

  146. On March 11th, 2013 at 9:20 pm Charles Says:

    “Girls clothes,” here we go again! It was human, not girls, clothes he liked. Men stopped wearing skirt attire centuries past because horseback riding put them into pants! Men stopped wearing fancy clothes because the influence of Puritanism (“fancy clothes on men are of the devil”) and the French Revolution put men out of fancy clothes. The French Revolution equated fancy clothes on noblemen with political oppression—not with girlishness. Society for several generations has offered all styles of clothing to girls growing up, but only one style to boys! That does not make skirts and fancy clothes girls clothes! It only means we’re raising girls with human choices, while we’re raising boys with a fixed uniform! The fact that there are two sexes isn’t being cited as a reason to stop females from having choices—only males! Restriction doesn’t make us better men or better people, it only leaves us without human choices! You admit that girls are raised to be individuals, but boys are raised as members of a collective! Anyone who calls skirts and fancy clothes “girls clothing” is SO wrong!

  147. On March 26th, 2013 at 2:55 pm Josephine Shaffer Says:

    If i had a son i will permit him to dress up as a girl it is ok.

  148. On April 7th, 2013 at 3:35 pm Charles Says:

    If I had a son I would tell him he can wear skirts anytime and anyplace he wants because skirts are sex neutral, genderless clothes based on historical use by both sexes—based on there’s no difference of bodily interface—based on many ethnic men in 2013 in other countries wear skirts and always present as men—based on that fabric is sexless—based on equal rights, fairplay and reciprocity—and based on, definitions crafted by psychiatrists, psychologists and social workers are completely faulty and are strategies—not facts—strategies to prevent men from changing, because most people fear change. As “mental health professionals” always lead the charge against social change, they are the most antiprogressive element in society and should be squelched.

  149. On April 2nd, 2014 at 12:46 am April Girl Angel Says:

    Yes I have a boy And I would let him go out In a Girls Halloween Costume Dressed up in a butterfly Costume Purple or pink And or a Princess costume Such As My favorites Ariel Aurora Belle snow white Jasmine Cinderella -Barbie Strawberry shortcake Yeah I forgot to tell you also He also has long long Long long hair And I let him Ware his hair Any style he wants to Ware Like His Hair All the way down Or Half up and half down one or two buns Also one or two ponytails

  150. On October 7th, 2014 at 8:32 pm Denise Peterson Says:

    I just finished an article written by a christian woman’s group. She was addressing the point that it is immodest for women to wear pants because when they do the eyes of others are fixated on the crotch area which causes men to lust after them which is a sin. God wants us to be modest. But this author went on to say that pants are a men’s garment which is totally wrong. 2000 years ago Jesus wore a robe, solders wore skirts both men and women wore robes with hoods and men wore tunics and togas which are by todays standards considered dresses. Pants were NOT worn by men because it was not God’s will because they also cause others to fixate on the crotch area to see how big the man’s bulge is and this also is sin! God wants HIS people to be modest in their clothes and pants are NOT a modest garment. Pants reveal the form of both men and women and again, they attract attention to the crotch area which is a lustful act and sin! If a man wears pants for occupational reasons then he needs to cover the crotch area with a skirt or apron or something like that but women should never wear pants! Skirts are a men’s garment and so are dresses which were called tunics and togas which women were not allowed to wear. So girls, if you are wearing pants you need to reconsider your wardrobe. Men, if you are not wearing skirts and dresses (togas or tunics) but are wearing pants then you need to reconsider what you are wearing too! This is biblical truth that lustful nations refuse to accept.

  151. On November 22nd, 2014 at 1:05 pm Linda M. Says:

    I am the mom of 2 kids,a 15 year old daughter,and a 12 year old son.Last eater sunday,we finially had them both recieve their sacrements of baptism at easter vigil.the son wore a white suit and the daughter wore the traditional,white poofy,mid thigh length baptism dress with the matching bonnet,white tights and white mary jane shoes.she had the standard cloth baptismal diaper and rubberpants under her tights with a white under shirt as her top.Later the next week,i caught the son in his room one night with his sister’s diaper and rubberpants and tights on and he had a tee shirt on with them.i asked him what he was doing and he started to cry and told me he thought sis looked like a baby under her dress and he wanted to be like a baby girl also.I made him take the tights,rubberpants and diaper off and give them back to his sister which he was very embarrassed to do.When they both made their First communions in may,the daughter had to wear the diaper,rubberpants and tights again under her communion dress and she was up tight knowing her brother had tried them on.

  152. On August 3rd, 2015 at 7:14 pm krissy Says:

    I buy clothes from the girls section (gasp) from time to time for my son. Shorts and tee shirts (not dresses). Often the girls section has a bigger range of colors and styles. At 11 he is becoming more self aware and so I guess those days are likely to end.

  153. On December 16th, 2015 at 1:29 pm Momof2 Says:

    I know I’m late to comment. My son is 5 years old and he loves everything boy, though as he grew up and as a single mom I would always let him play dress up with his cousins and he’d be running around in a princess dress at times. He loves to dress up as anything i have saved all his costumes from the past just so he came wear them. He always asked to be Darth Maul, Two Faced .. Super villains more then super heroes (because they look so cool). He has a group of guy f winds at school and seems to not be so interested in girl stuff (occasional house and dolls excluded). I am open to letting him do what he likes and I buy him things he likes, so I wouldn’t think he would feel like he needed to hide anything from me. But recently I walked in on him wearing his step sisters (who is the same age) skirt. He was very embarrassed and hid from me. I told him I will love him forever no matter what he likes or wants. That he is not in trouble at all, I was just wondering why he wants to wear them. I ask if they made him feel prettier then his clothes? But he doesn’t seem comfortable telling me anything, he made up a big story. It breaks my heart, I just want to know what’s going on in his cute little head!
    does anyone have any insight or even out side views that could help me understand?

  154. On August 18th, 2016 at 8:46 am Bigkitty Says:

    I would let any of my children wear anything they want. Its there life and the sooner they start being themselves the better it will be with everyone around him. My brother has worn girls clothes since he was 5 yr old, now in his 40’s he wont wear anything else. He doesnt wear dresses in public, but he wears girls slacks and jeans and girl cotton tops and girls flats or low heeled slip ons.
    I see nothing wrong with because he is showing people that people can wear what they want and still live a life too

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