Through the grandparental grapevine, I heard that my son had a girlfriend.

Ben, not Alex. Because if Alex had a girlfriend, he’d try and fart on her to woo her. Which, let’s face it, is how Daver wooed me.

When I asked Ben about his “girlfriend,” rather than chattering on for an hour and a half like he normally does, instead he turned red and ran out of the room laughing, yelling, “I DON’T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.” Which is precisely how Daver wooed me.

Must run in the family.

Yesterday, he brought up his “girlfriend,” again. By again, I mean that he yelled I DON’T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, then running around the house for a couple of minutes, before coming back to challenge me, “you can’t guess what my girlfriend’s name is.”

Daver warned him, “don’t challenge your mother unless you want her to know, Ben. If she wants to do something, she WILL.” My heart burst with pride.

Curious now, I asked Ben what “girlfriend” meant to him.

“Well,” he informed me, “it’s someone I like.”

“Does…” I asked hesitantly, worried that I hadn’t properly explained dating to him, “does she know you like her?”

“Well,” he looked at his hands. “No.”

I smiled and informed him that this was someone he had a crush on, not a “girlfriend.” He seemed taken aback.

I asked him if he was going to have her come over to play this summer, and again, he blushed furiously and ran around the house like a maniac. Running around like maniacs is what my children do best and why my single friends use visiting Aunt Becky as “free birth control.”

When he finally came back, he said he was too nervous to ask her to hang out this summer.

I knew I had to act. And now.

“Okay, Ben, when you’re all nervous, you think to yourself, EYE OF THE TIGER,” I pulled out the BIG guns.

He looked confused, so I hollered, “EYE OF THE TIGER.”

He looked even MORE confused. Daver queued up Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” as an A/V tool and I began my wicked Air Guitar Routine. Let me tell you, Pranksters, I would TOTALLY win at any air guitar contest EVER.

Well, the music helped. Soon all three of my children were running around the house, air-playing different instruments (we could form an amazing air rock band) yelling, “EYE OF THE TIGER.”

When the song was over, Ben came back and said, “It worked Mom. I feel like I can do ANYTHING now. I’m all EYE OF THE TIGER.”

Exactly, my child.



Am over at Cafe Mom today. Got two columns for you.

(barely) Surviving Sleep Training

(barely) Surviving Extreme Parenting

33 thoughts on “When Amelia Yells, “Eye of the Tiger,” You Know It’s A Party

  1. Yesterday, my husband informed me that I am way more Eye of the Tiger than he is. I felt so proud.

    His comment was provoked by a series of unfortunate happenings, culiminating in someone under my supervision urinating on the Freer Gallery of Art.

    The Freer Gallery totally deserved it.

    Also, you can’t take us anywhere.

    Also also, GO BEN!

  2. Ahh, I have been wondering how to get my kid through the last few weeks of algebra, so she won’t have to go to summer school (and ruin my mornings). All I have to do is play her Eye Of The Tiger. Genius! Where ever you lead, I’ll follow!

  3. I so needed this today. I’m about to go do battle with the school district over my son’s upcoming kindergarten placement. (He’s special needs.) And we all know how public schools just LOOOOOVE paying for stuff like speech therapists and whatnot. Eye of The Mutha Effin Tiger!*

    *disclaimer* i am not opposed to using cuss words, but sometimes “effin” just sounds better. dontchya think?

  4. Rock On! Better watch out. You’ll be working on your next air guitar routine and he’ll be engaged. Or just calling girls HOT. I know. Kiddo’s only seven but I’m trying to figure out how to be an In-Law. He just better not even THINK of getting her knocked up.


  5. I can totally picture this… and it’s GREAT.

    And wordpress doesn’t like me posting comments so fast. They can’t handle the tiger. the EYE OF THE TIGER.

  6. Haha, I’m from the Karate Kid generation. I used to yell BANZAI!!!!! for the same reason.

    And under his original definition, Anne Hathaway is my girlfriend… can we use his definition please??? πŸ™‚

  7. I like a lot of your posts…but this one? This one, right here, is my favorite!

    Eye of the (fuckin’) tiger!

  8. oops. realized I forgot the (mother) in that (mother fuckin’). Need coffee. Let’s assume it was implied. πŸ™‚

  9. OMG, I think I just tinkled in my chonies a little, this made me laugh so hard. The visual is PRICELESS. And should I ever have kids one day, I’m going to be all, “Eye of the Tiger, kiddos! DO IT FOR YOUR AUNT BECKY OR SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH ABOUT IT.” (Obviously I will make a great mom someday.)

  10. Hubby and I were just having a conversation last night about instilling confidence in your little ones. I think the little ones need a good example; Hubby tends to want to sit on the sidelines from time to time, but wants to get Monkey out there (when he’s older) all the same. I wonder how well this technique might work for Hubby.

  11. It’s like your own Glee episode, but with air instruments. Love it.

    Great explanation of how to dig deep for some courage, I’m going to have to remember that for all future challenging parental moments. Very inspiring. πŸ™‚

  12. Oh man, I wish my mom had been more like you. I could have used some ‘eye of the tiger’ type encouragement when it came to girls. Instead when I told my mom that I liked a girl, she was all ‘you shouldn’t be thinking so much about girls until you’ve got the rest of you life all sorted out. There will be plenty of time for girls later.’ she never did explain what she meant by later, but I was already 31 at the time.


    At first I thought it was a euphemism and I was mildly shocked.

    And then I was like, “OOOOOHHHH.”

    I’m sure I would be smitten if a guy farts on me.

    …Yes, “fart” is an euphemism in this case.

  14. I love that the Daver went out to queue Eye of the Tiger, just to reinforce the lesson.

    I’m wondering when the shyness around the other sex sets in, because I know I went through it (I proceeded to grow out of it), but CJ, at 18 months, has taken to holding hands with any girl that will hold his. It’s cute, but the kid has blue eyes, curly blond hair, and dimples that you can measure shots in. He has no shortage of 3/4/5 year olds who want to hold his hand (he then hits them, but people say he’ll grow out of that).

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