Through the grandparental grapevine, I heard that my son had a girlfriend.
Ben, not Alex. Because if Alex had a girlfriend, he’d try and fart on her to woo her. Which, let’s face it, is how Daver wooed me.
When I asked Ben about his “girlfriend,” rather than chattering on for an hour and a half like he normally does, instead he turned red and ran out of the room laughing, yelling, “I DON’T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.” Which is precisely how Daver wooed me.
Must run in the family.
Yesterday, he brought up his “girlfriend,” again. By again, I mean that he yelled I DON’T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, then running around the house for a couple of minutes, before coming back to challenge me, “you can’t guess what my girlfriend’s name is.”
Daver warned him, “don’t challenge your mother unless you want her to know, Ben. If she wants to do something, she WILL.” My heart burst with pride.
Curious now, I asked Ben what “girlfriend” meant to him.
“Well,” he informed me, “it’s someone I like.”
“Does…” I asked hesitantly, worried that I hadn’t properly explained dating to him, “does she know you like her?”
“Well,” he looked at his hands. “No.”
I smiled and informed him that this was someone he had a crush on, not a “girlfriend.” He seemed taken aback.
I asked him if he was going to have her come over to play this summer, and again, he blushed furiously and ran around the house like a maniac. Running around like maniacs is what my children do best and why my single friends use visiting Aunt Becky as “free birth control.”
When he finally came back, he said he was too nervous to ask her to hang out this summer.
I knew I had to act. And now.
“Okay, Ben, when you’re all nervous, you think to yourself, EYE OF THE TIGER,” I pulled out the BIG guns.
He looked confused, so I hollered, “EYE OF THE TIGER.”
He looked even MORE confused. Daver queued up Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” as an A/V tool and I began my wicked Air Guitar Routine. Let me tell you, Pranksters, I would TOTALLY win at any air guitar contest EVER.
Well, the music helped. Soon all three of my children were running around the house, air-playing different instruments (we could form an amazing air rock band) yelling, “EYE OF THE TIGER.”
When the song was over, Ben came back and said, “It worked Mom. I feel like I can do ANYTHING now. I’m all EYE OF THE TIGER.”
Exactly, my child.
Am over at Cafe Mom today. Got two columns for you.