Last Friday, I was sitting here at my Mac marveling at the positive pregnancy tests that I had in my pockets as sort of a good luck charm. I’d pull them out, smile to myself the kind of “I have a delicious secret” smile and put them back in my pocket. Occasionally, I’d pat my pocket to reassure that yes, indeed the test was really real.

And here I sit, one week later, having thrown out all of my pregnancy tests and feeling…empty. Just so very empty.

Happy Mother’s Day, indeed.

29 thoughts on “What A Difference A Week Makes…

  1. How do you let go of all those possibilities, even if they were around for just moments?

    Trust me, you don’t.

  2. This really makes me want to hug you, or send you cake or something.

    I am so sorry. I’m glad you’re letting yourself be a little sad about it though. As much as I’d like people not to be sad, I think it is SO important to acknowledge loss or you’ll go crazy.

    I will be thinking of you this weekend.

  3. Fuck Mothers Day! You and my wife should both be pregnant this Mothers Day, and you’re not. I say we start drinking at noon and don’t stop till we pass out.

  4. I’m with B. I’ll start drinking at noon with you.

    If you were in Texas I’d take you out for some BBQ and some liquored up iced tea and we’d make a day of it.

  5. It’s not fair that Mother’s day should suck from both sides, for you…so to Hell with it. Let’s make an Internet Friends Who’ve Never Met Day, instead, and send each other cheesy cards and cheap perfume for it, and every now and then do it right and include a spa day or a weekend getaway, or maybe a month’s housekeeping or something. Anyone want in on this??

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  6. I’m so very sorry Becky! I’ll be thinking of you this weekend.

    On another note, I am so in on the “Internet Friends Who’ve Never Met Day”. Sounds like a blast to me!

  7. I know it sounds hollow (because it did to us with every passing month that we failed to conceive our second), but you’re still a mom, even if you’re not pregnant right now. It’s difficult, and it’s sad, and it sucks. But it’s not going to be the end of your world. You can choose to be the woman who can’t get pregnant, or you can be the woman who has two boys. For emphasis: it’s your choice, you define yourself.

    It will get better, and if you still want another one, keep trying. Sometimes, it just takes a miracle (like my inlaws finally moving into their own home and us not having to do it like teenagers hoping that her dad doesn’t hear me banging his daughter) for everything to work out.

    I’d say I’ll pray for you, but that would be a lie. I don’t pray, but I’ll have a good thought for you. (I mean really, how can anyone pray to a kitten killer, right?)

  8. My husband and I are going to hide away in our bedroom, eating junk food and watching non-baby related movies all day.

    It fucking sucks. I’m sorry, Becky.

  9. Mother’s Day Sucks. How’s that for sentiment?

    And … you are still more than welcome to join me and mine on our Beachin’ (or, umm, Bitchin’) Mother’s Day Boycott in the Outer Banks.

    I’m sorry it’s especially nasty this year. Hugs, Beck.

  10. I’m in TX too, so come on down. Andria and I will liquor you up and show you a good time. Time for that road trip!

  11. Becky,

    Just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking about you and sending you good mojo right now. *BIG hugs my friend*

  12. I’m so so sorry. Timing is everything, and often it’s just a big steaming pile, isn’t it.

    FYI, I couldn’t drum up anything *perfect* so I donated to NILMDTS for my mother for mom’s day, and she was THRILLED to pieces. Good call. Thank you.

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