(ring, ring)

The Daver: “Hello?”

Aunt Becky: “I’m leaving you.”

The Daver: “Oh yeah?”

Aunt Becky: “Yup! I’m forming an all-girls disco band and we’re touring the country.”

The Daver: “Okay.”

Aunt Becky: “Wait, you’re not upset?”

The Daver: “You’ve got to follow your dreams, man. Who is going to be in the band?”

Aunt Becky (gestures to empty room): “Oh, you know…TWITTER.”

The Daver: “That’s a big band. What are you going to do?”

Aunt Becky: “Wear roller skates and play the triangle. It’s DISCO. And it’s making a comeback. I CAN FEEL IT.”

The Daver: “Okay.”

Aunt Becky: “Oh, and I need one of those voice thingies. So I can actually sing. What are they called?”

The Daver: “A vocoder?”

Aunt Becky (happily): “YES! I need one. Can you get me one of those?”

The Daver: “Okay. I’ll pick up Chinese food for dinner?”

Aunt Becky: “Sure. See you soon! Before I’m gone with my all girls Twitter disco band. I’ve got to go order some more go-go boots!”

The Daver (laughs) “Bye!”

(both parties hang up)


Because I am in the process of forming My Empire, which means I’m trying to think of more projects, I’ve come up with the idea of a couple of community-based forums for us. The ROYAL “us.” Problem is, I’m not sure exactly what we should be about.

I’ve had a bunch of people suggest that I cobble (and by “I” I mean “The Daver”) together a site where we could go to put together weight loss articles and articles about self-improvement and Getting The Band Back Together (it wouldn’t be like a boring site or anything) where we could cheer each other on.

I think this could work. I also think there are other things we could do and I’m eagerly thinking of them, but my brain is small and yours, well, is not, so this is the part of the post where I ask for your input. What do you think? Honestly. I’m open to any ideas, providing they’re feasible and full of The Awesome. I love the idea of a community-based site.

118 thoughts on “We’re Getting The BAND Back Together. The DISCO Band.

  1. I love the Daver’s unquetioning love and support no matter what you throw at him 🙂

    How about a website in which we discuss parenting, but not the boob v. bottle or work v. stay at home crap, more like the “Goldfish crackers and grapes absolutely count as a nutritious dinner” or “Sometimes I tell my husband I have to poop just so I can sit in the bathroom and read a magazine for five minutes” variety?

    1. OMG! I totally tell my kids the whole ‘poop’ lie, too! I lay back in a dry bathtub and read a chapter of a book just to have some farking privacy!!

  2. I heart roller skates!

    A place where women help pull you up when you feel like you have hit the ground, then sunk into the core of the earth, is a great idea.
    All types of women.
    Sometimes virtual woman understand better than real life women.
    And they cant see when you cry. In turn, when you cry you cant see their horrible looks of pity.

    I heart this idea as much as I heart roller skates 🙂

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  4. I wanna be in the band. I can’t sing or play anything, but I can roller skate and shake my big ole booty! Except, I’m not on Twitter. Please don’t leave me out of the band!

    Community forum would be awesome…can you hide from your kids in a forum??? How ’bout your boss?

    I think a good one would be a place for us to discuss all the crazy parenting choices we make.

  5. I’d suggest something, but I have roughly the attention span of a brain-damaged goldfish this week, so I’ve got nothing. If someone can tell me how to make a 13yo girl NOT perpetually pissed off at her 6yo brother though, I am SOOOO there!

    1. Don’t think it’s possible. Also, don’t try to sell the “when you grow up you’ll be the best of friends” angle. They never believe that. Try bribery, threats, and intimidation. They don’t have to like each other, they just have to obey you (read:get along)
      Remember, $$$ talks!

  6. I can roller skate like a mother fucker.

    Also, I have no real musical talent, but it’s disco, right? I can be a shitty back-up singer and pop ludes.

  7. I think a website/blog about putting a band together and dedicated to the seventies would be a huge hit! people love to read about what they like…at least that is what I am told. Following your dreams, living like a rock star you could call it Lifestyles of Becky and Daver I see it now! Go FOR it!!!Please we could all live through you guys.

  8. I really must be in your band. I’m pretty sure I’ve mastered some disco moves from watching Saturday Night Fever so many times.

    And I really do love the idea of putting together a community… I think the topics could be limitless!

  9. I am in for whatever… except I can’t skate!! Damn! And any discussion group that doesn’t involve “My husband bought me a maid for our summer house for Christmas” is better than anything I am listening to in real life.

  10. I can drum.
    No, really. I can drum.
    I think “Mommy Sings Lead” is a great band name.
    or not.
    could go either way.
    Or maybe “Daddy Sings Back Up”…
    hmmm. Okay, I’ll sit down now.

    But I can drum.
    And I can do disco.
    That’s gotta count for something?

  11. Aunt Becky, I’m going to give it to you flat-out, ’cause I know you can take it.

    I was reading along and got to a site where we could go to put together weight loss articles and stopped cold and said to myself, “Oh, like we need another bunch of that crap on the Internet.”

    Seriously, you can’t swing a cat without hitting another “ooooh! WEIGHT LOSS MAKES YOU PERFECT! Here is how I spend too much of my life obsessing over what I eat and pretending it’s not disordered eating” web page out there. And it’s frankly tiring. Because I don’t want to be perfect. I want to be AWESOME. And my awesomeosity is not tied to my clothing size (no matter how much the advertising people try to sell me that it is, and then sell me things to make me skinny, which, pumpkin, if I was ‘morbidly obese’ according to the BMI when I was working out 40+ hours a week, eating a dietician-dictated menu, and winning competitive dance competitions, I ain’t never gonna be skinny, no matter what magic herbal scientific bullpucky you stick in that pill.)

    Having gotten off my soap box, I would like to point out I play bass and am willing to add some funky bass lines to your disco beats. Along with some fabulous sequined outfits, because you can’t do disco without sequins. AND GLITTER

  12. Oh I want in! I can belt out a show stopping version of I Will Survive.

    Probably you want it for the finale because it really does seem to stop everything when I sing it. It’s just that awesome!

    I think a community would be great! I’ve been looking for a new one for 5 years since I left a parenting/pregnancy board I loved.

  13. What about a site dedicated to getting one’s groove back in the aftermath of kids—the “what do I do with the rest of my life?” forum?

    1. I agree with Nancy C. I would discuss how to get your life back or somewhat back after kids.

      Not that they aren’t awesome when they are asleep (ie. not throwing tantrums and saying NO) LOL!

      1. After they’re asleep, YES. But I woke up for the third time this week to an exploded diaper all over the place. My life. Love it. But it’s not…glamorous. DISCO is glamorous.

        1. WHAT?? Hold the phone?? You life is not glamorous?? YOU HAVE A MERRY BAND OF INTERNET STALKERS, TWITTERERS & A Fucking DISCO BAND

          I call that glamorous in my book.

          First Disco band cover song, I nominate Fergie’s Glamorous
          The glamorous, the glamorous, glamorous
          By the glamorous, ooh, the flossy, flossy
          The glamorous, the glamorous, glamorous
          By the glamorous, ooh the flossy, flossy

  14. I would be in as long as no one posts things like recipes for black bean brownies that “taste like the real thing.” That’s bullshit that only belongs in WW.

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  16. You are going to need sunglasses if you are getting the band back together!

    You are so cute saying that the new site won’t be boring – that was funny!

    Hey, you know Oprah is leaving soon – maybe you could take over with all of the inspirationsal stuff!!

  17. OMG Aunt Becky, Do it! If Dooce can have a “community” (gag gag spew), your followers can too. Except that we’ll be funnier and have less stupid baby names and use alot more profanity.

    @Mary Sue- No worries. I don’t think a “weight loss” site by Aunt Becky would be like that. I just picture commenters sharing how they thought so hard about weight loss all day that they had to go through drive thru and get those damn chicken nuggets before they “get on the wagon tomorrow.”

    And yes. I’m typing this comment with a Godiva truffle in my mouth. Because fuck that wagon.

  18. Now, I will admit outright that I’m not a parent. Yet.
    As such, my forum idea is something oriented a little more to the upkeep of yourself and not necessarily post-, pre-, present pregnancy.

    I’ve been thinking long and hard that something I would truly enjoy is a community forum with creativity as the theme. People can do posts about things they’re proud of- writing they’ve done, photos they’ve taken, or even something they’ve accomplished in the day (say, an interpretive drawing of folded laundry). Pride is something everyone has for their children, and sometimes it eclipses pride in themselves.
    Even if it is a deadly sin. But at least I don’t suffer from false modesty.

    Having you moderate, most lovely Aunt Becky, with your wit and charm and triangle, would be the most uplifting experience. It would become a place of sharing, humor, storytelling, and creation. Which is what I love most about this planet.
    Er. Humanity.

    1. I don’t think I’d want it to be strictly parenting, if that makes sense, you know? Because I have more to me than my kids. In fact, while I think my kids are fucking incredible, they’re probably Just Kids to other people. So, it would be broken up by sections.

  19. I was going to try to join the band until the whole tube top issue came up. When I wear my tube top my boobs keep getting caught in the waistband of my spandex hot pants. I am firing myself, be not afraid. At least now I don’t have to get a bone density test before I put my skates on again…

    I need HELP, and I have not found any blog where the people are as FUNNY, NICE and non-judgmental! I would love to be able to log on to prevent that binge of potato chips, or visit a different community that talks about helping to balance out who Mommy is as the kids begin to get a little more independent.

    I love you Aunt Becky, but I truly enjoy reading the comments here almost as much as the posts because your audience is really great. Not “sheeple”, or “groupies”, just FUNNY, “live and let live” people. This is the place I come to get a good laugh – no drama, no politics, no preaching (although I love God as much as the next girl), and THANK HEAVENS NO COMPETITIVE MOMMYING (or parenting – sorry dudes). How refreshing! I think that adding a community forum – or communities for that matter – would be a WONDERFUL, hilarious and AWESOME addition to your blog!

  20. Um, call me crazy, but isn’t THIS a community site where Aunt Becky starts and then we all chime in with whatever falls out of our heads? Just sayin. But I’ll follow you anywhere Aunt Becky. I’m down. I would even write stuff if someone wanted me to, or editing, I’m pretty rockin at that. So um…. I can dance a mean hustle, can I be in the all girl disco revival too? 😉

  21. Sadly I have not donned a pair of roller skates in 2 decades…but when I did I was hell on wheels. I ran all the boys over and won all the fast races and rocked that rink.
    Plus, I can sing…not very good alone but very well with others.
    Alas, I do tend to run with scissors.

  22. I am so qualified to be in this band. I saw Saturday Night Fever when it first came out in the theatres!!!!! I was going to nightclubs at the time so know all the moves.
    Can this band have nap times, I do like me some naps after exertion.
    Now I am fondly thinking of my tube tops and flashy clothes I wore in the late 70’s.

    I want to phone your husband, he seems much funnier than my friends!

  23. Fucking-A, I’m in the band. I can sing AND dance, and wear a tube top, since my boobs are newly lifted and reduced. Can we sing Greased Lightning? I wanna be able to say “You know that ain’t no shit, we’ll be gettin’ lots of tit in Greased Lightning.” God I hope my husband isn’t reading this.

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  25. And then you can give away monthly freebies to those who ask and post the most. And daily freebies to everybody who enters the site……….remember I’m a freebie ho.

  26. I am competely tone deaf but own some fantastic pink leg warmers – can I be in the band too? Please please~!

  27. OK, so I am totally in the band, so deal with it. And a “yay, us” community site is a swell idea — but if anyone gets all,”you have to stop drinking Dr. Pepper and become a vegan and here: sign this petition about whales,” I will . . . . Well. I will be very sad.

  28. If you want to get a forum group going, I’ve had some experience as a Mod/Administrator and although I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, I will gladly wear a tube top and a feather boa.

    Can we call the group “Becky’s Disco Bitches”? Because I think that flows, baby.

  29. I know three guitar chords. And I have lots of Bee Gees albums. Real ALBUMS! And I have an awesome afro wig. It makes me look Christie Love.

    So, obviously, I want to be in the Band.

    Can the community site include travel? When I’m not here, I love going there, ya feel me? Travel discounts, travel ideas, places we stayed that we loved. Maybe we could put together group trips, or travel partner hook ups. that sort of thing.

  30. Can my poodle be in the band? She’s a standard poodle so she can probably roller skate. In fact, I’m going to buy her roller skates tomorrow and start teaching her, just in case.

  31. I’m a good organizer so I’m volunteering to be the manager.

    I also agree with Nancy C., a get your groove back site with different sections depending on what groove you needed to get back into.

  32. Can’t sing, can’t roller-skate, not a musician, BUT I love music because it keeps me sane and I am an Awesome audience. I can clap, make loud whooping noises (because I enjoy the music, not because it’s been so long that I’ve gone out to hear it live,) and do it at the appropriate times. After a couple of drinks, I can get up from my seat and dance like a motherfucker. Do people still light up their lighters at the end (it’s been a REAL long time)? I don’t smoke, so I have to buy some. Can I be in the audience? Clapping for you right now, too early to whoop.
    Been looking for a fun, inspiring but real-world forum. Kind of like your blog.

    1. Nope… lighters are old school; apparently now they just all flip their cell phones open and wave them around.

      I feel so old that I had to learn that from my kid.

  33. I only sing out of tune. I dance like an idiot. But I do it proudly, and I always wanted to be in a band … and have recently perfected “Jingle Bells” on the xylophone. I know, you want me.

  34. I am so in! That is what we need, a new site for us all! And one that WE start is obviously going to be so much cooler than ANY other site! I love it, let me know if you need any help or want a couple of co-founders!! I’m sure we could do this!

  35. Maybe your new site should be dedicated to moms who want to discuss something other than being moms. Like a mom empowerment site where women can come to be themselves and get away from all of the baby blogging. Though my blog has a lot to do with the mommy thing I would love a site that got me away from that. Like a girls night out without the actual “going out”. Just an idea.
    Also, I kinda missed the 70’s but love disco and would love to be in the band if there is still room. I can rock a pair of bell bottoms and glitter is my favorite accessory.

  36. A community based project for us mom’s taking the world back? Be it weight loss something we as women are doing to improve ourselves.

    I have a little project in the works on my blog called Monday Measurements were every week I will pose in a sports bra and workout pants and post my measurements for all the interweb to see me at my most vulnerble. *Gulp* And they can watch me mark my progress or fail miserably.

  37. I am going to say that most blog forums are all about what you mentioned. I would really like to see one were women could be them selves and talk about the things that women really want to talk about. Like Sex, Love and Rock and Roll.

  38. Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight with Becky’s new site. A “get your groove back” forum would be awesome. (And now I have “Shake Your Groove Thing” running through my head. And now you do, too. You’re welcome.)

  39. I was in grade 6 when Saturday Night Fever was released and my mother wouldn’t let me go. I know. I know! I am not disco prepared.

    Can I be your Black Sabbath/Ted Nugent listening nemesis?

  40. It’s all making sense now…OMG. WORLD DOMINATION.

    We all love to cheer on the fat people…and yell at the skinny ones to go eat a cheeseburger. It’s perfect…

  41. Um…that conversation was fucking hysterical…can I say fucking…oh well, too late…I did already!! Anyways, you are damn funny…can’t wait to read more of your posts!!! Any vodka drinking mommy is a friend worth following!


  42. I play a banging cow bell. Plus I talk A LOT…and LOUD. So pretty much I would happily join your band AND your community. I’ll come up with cheesy t-shirt slogans for both.

  43. I’ve been thinking lately (you know, for the last 5 years or so) that maybe getting off my ass and aquiring a pair of roller blades might be the thing to get me moving. But then I’d have to learn to use them. But now… roller skates! My 7th-grade roller rink experience totally qualifies me, right? Going around slowly in a circle while disco lights shine and “When the Doves Cry” blares over the speakers is an automatic in.

    I would love a community. I love you and I love your readers. And people can be all motivational or funny or complainy as they want, and other people can respond the way they want. And I love people doing what they want.

  44. Love it! I have my cow bell in hand and digging skates out of closet now!

    Band name: How about MW Vodka & the Twitter Band?

  45. Love it! I have my cow bell in hand and digging skates out of closet now!

    Band name: How about MW Vodka & the Twitter Band?

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