I’ve been in a slump.

I’m not even certain why I was in such a slump; I mean, my Rod Stewart CD’s were all playing perfectly, there were no Uncrustables shortages at The Target, and I’d even managed to figure out how to work the washing machine! If I could somehow manage to work the coffee maker, my life would be a series of wins!

And yet, I was still feeling downright…sad. My emotional continuum is not used to dealing with complex emotions like that. At best, I’m used to handling such bumps in the road as “my People Magazine was not delivered on time” or “my cheeseburger arrived with mayonnaise.”

This, this slump was not exactly something I could easily handle. Especially since it involved more complex issues than Going on a Campaign of Doom to Get My Way.

I was Losing My Way.

I HATE Losing My Way, Pranksters. I hate it more than I hate anything, ever. Even at my worst, even when I seem the most scattered, the most illogical, the most twisted, I always have something brewing in the back of my mind. Some nefarious scheme. Something. Even if it’s “buy a pony and put it on roller skates,” or “turn treehouse into a panic room filled with ballpit,” there’s something back there.

When I can’t see what’s next, when I can’t find my way, when I have no wacky, off-the-wall-plans, I fall into A Slump.

That’s where I’ve been.

I guess I don’t know what to do next. I’d planned my life up until this point, “finish nursing school, have a couple more kids, then…” and now I’m at the “…” part of my life.

I’d expected to go back to school to become a virologist after my kids were old enough to be packed off to school themselves; that was always the plan. But when I realized that I could write – really write – it was like I’d found my missing piece. That was what I was supposed to do.

So what I do I do with that? What do I do knowing that this is what I am supposed to do?

I do not know. I’ve spun around in circles. I’m still spinning.

The publishing market is in the tank. Selling a book to publishers now isn’t exactly…easy. And yet, writing is what I do. It’s my missing piece. I cannot believe I was brought to this realization only to stop and say, “eh, MOVING ON TO THE NEXT THING.” I love to blog, I love living in Your Computer, but I want to make something more of myself.

I want A Career. Even if I make five bucks a year, I want A Career.

So now I have to figure out What Next. Even if it means “buying a pony and roller skates,” I need to figure out What Happens Next.

Any suggestions, Pranksters? I’m totally asking you because you’re smarter than me and stuff and I no longer have a Guidance Counselor and even if I did, he’d probably tell me to “apply myself more,” which is what he always said. I STILL don’t know what that means.

154 thoughts on “Un-Slumping Myself

  1. Have you considered being a technical writer? My aunt is one (concentrated in the engineering field), I would bet with your medical knowledge you could wrap that up and work in technical writing in the medical field. Possibly as a ghost writer for a medical/health website?

  2. I have been that way too. I quit teaching last year to go back to graduate school. I am still kind of in a “slump” but I’m battling that with my photography and twitter addiction. Have faith, and go after your dreams, even if it means going back to school. Long term goals. I want to do this before my kids are adults. Good post!

  3. I think you should keep writing, you are GOOD at it, no, GREAT at it.

    and we should start a FB campaign to get you published.

    Could you offer to write stuff for charity websites etc?

    keep slogging at getting published though thats your raison d’etre.

    PluS I have nearly caught up with the whole blog!

  4. I don’t know whether you could look at copy-writing or freelance stuff? i realise its not something thats easy to get into but you don’t strike me as a person who minds a bit of hard work.

  5. Aunt Becky! First and foremost, I want to tell you something my professor recently told me: Whatever your feeling at this moment is valid. When you experience “negative” emotions, you don’t have to feel bad because literally every single person in the world has them, too. So it’s okay to feel lost and confused, even though it’s disorienting.

    Now then…I would love to see an Aunt Becky book out there! Obviously I read your blog, and it’s be cool to have a Becky Book in my hands (you could bedazzle it!) As for immediate things to do? Find something to protest, buy Uncrustables, partake in some churros, read some books, and take care of your orchids! Just keep moving forward and meditating–your life doesn’t have to be a to-do list.

  6. You could freelance write. For websites, magazines, etc. Not sure how you get started doing that but I know a bunch of people who freelance. And you wouldn’t have to give up your missing piece. That is all kinds of WIN WITH SPARKLES.

    1. That’s what I was going to say! She could even take pre-orders so she knew how many to print. Alternately, she could self publish an e-book and sell it here and on Amazon.

  7. Who needs a publisher when you have a loyal following and an internet connection? Self publish. Organize book selling events locally and not so locally to promote your book. It will require some money up front, but finding a Kinkos or similar type shop that can print your book cheaply is surprisingly easy.

    Or print at home and make the kinds think that book binding is arts and crafts. Hooray!

  8. Come work with me. I work in the Infectious Disease unit of a hospital. Even if you end up hating virology, we can always laugh at everyone else.

  9. But you do have a career. You’re just sort of pioneering it so you don’t know that yet. It’s called social media and you’re on the right end of the point. Continue being your witty self and see where it leads you. Or write a real book about what it means to interact with total strangers on your blog and on twitter etc and why that’s effecting the global landscape of human interaction and entertainment. You can always self-publish and self-promote and it doesn’t have to even be actually printed (like at http://www.lulu.com). But by and large, just be yourself but don’t discount ideas of being promoted as a social media maven. Or forget that and just go get a sno-cone. That always make me happy. 😉

  10. As someone who loves the way you write, I say you have found your “piece”–maybe you could take a class at the local college on the topic of publishing/writing a novel/etc. There are a lot of courses out there. Or submitting short stories to magazines? Write for the school newsletter?


  11. What about taking classes in science part time and pursuing technical writing? My bff is finishing her PhD in Immunology while taking freelancing jobs in science writing and doing quite well.

  12. My vote is with the self publish team. With the following you have, I’d bet you could open a pay-pal account for us to donate to and WE will pay for those pesky up-front costs!
    We love you and want you to be happy with whatever it is you do Aunt Becky.

    1. I gotta tell you. I’d pay for this. I think <<>> I mean we! could find a whole new paying model. Let’s go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Starting with YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU

    2. Oh no, I could NEVER ask for any money from you guys. NO. I love you for offering but NO. I’d find a way without asking for money!

      Also: I wonder if I could self-publish online only. That’s a TOTALLY viable option.

  13. I get ya! I’m in a slump too! Of course, I get in one EVERY Februay but the good news is, it’s a short month! So, I would just wallow (see my post on wallowing) and then, you’ll come out of it. And here’s the thing about publishing. If you are truly talented and persevere, it’ll work out for you.

    If not, I suggest you petition for me to adopt you. I am, after all, old enough to be your mother.

  14. I second the motion that you self-publish. I love the idea of you either publishing the book via Lulu and taking orders here or putting it into a e-format and selling it on amazon or something similar (Smashwords is one I have seen some of my fav authors on). Plus when you do get that interview with an agent you can say (with proof) that people are interested in your work.

    Now…go get crazy and write us a story Aunt Becky. 🙂

  15. I cast my vote for self publish with a side of facebook campaign.

    But if these options do not appeal to you, you may also considering giving Tom Selleck a call. Maybe he’s in the market for a new assistant. Maybe he’d even let you comb his ‘stache.

  16. Well, it might not be as fun and exciting and worthy of your extravagantly extravagant comedic talents, but I work/have worked for medical educational textbooky publishers and they/we are ALWAYS in need of content reviewing – if you just want a way to use your knowledge, make some $ per hour and get to know some publishing types….you can put together a resume of your educational experience and start proofreading for people and maybe step 3 will be profit…

  17. As a virologist you will be able to write super badass thrillers with bad guys trying to set off virus bombs & good guys giving lots of factual shit about how badly this virus can fuck people up & car chases & cyber stalking & people getting felt up by the NSA. It could be awesome.

  18. Shit, woman…when you figure it out, YOU tell ME. I have no effing clue. (Why it was okay to say “shit” but not “fucking” is one of those weirdnesses I have not yet figured out.)

    So what if the publishing world is in a tizzy of “OH NOES, TEH ENDS, THEY ARE NIGH, NOW WE WILL PUBLISH STUFF LIKE IS ALREADY ON TEH TEEVEEEEEE” and failing because of it? Write your damn book. Write elebenty of them. When the time comes to get it put out there, decide then if you want to self-publish, or just hold onto it until you can get someone’s attention in the world of publishing. God knows there is a ton of crap being published now (fart books with electronic auditory examples? Seriously? Someone is buying a book on farting that doesn’t know what they sound like?) for no good reason; pitch the hell out of your book until someone says yes, and in the meantime, start writing book elebenty-and-one.


      Yeah, exactly. If the world wants books with LOLZ Cats and not a book with actual WORDS in them, well, that’s sad. I’ll keep writing mine, you keep writing yours, and we’ll meet back here to regroup.

  19. Aunt Becks, there are a lot of us in a slump. It’s that time of year. Not shit is going on, and we’re all cooped up, and we’re all sick of staring at each other and doing our same routine. At least we can all slump around together.

    I’ll also vote for the self-publish gang. But ask yourself this: If you could do anything, and not for the money, but it would really make you happy, what would it be? Writing? If that’s it, then hellz yes. You’re doing it now and you got a whole bunch of Pranksters behind you reading every word. You know we love you no matter what.

    You’ll figure it out. And then later you’ll go, Effing A, why didn’t I think of that sooner?

    Rock on, Aunt Bex.
    Bff, Em

  20. I would gladly pay you $50 a year to come follow me around my house and make snarky comments!!! And! I would totally let you answer the phone any way you want.
    And! I would bring you a cheeseburger with no mayo to boot!

    1. Oh yeah? Well I’d pay up to $52.75 🙂 Oh yea and Aunt Becky, don’t forget about the abundunce of low indirect lighting for you to hump

      1. I am totally on for $55 a year, cheese burgers every weeek, no mayo AND indirect lighting and Wilford. (who ever that is—off to google!)

  21. I wish I could offer words of wisdom. But I too am in a slump. I wish I could figure out what I wanted to do with my life. But I haven’t a clue. I keep hoping something will fall out of the sky and land in my lap. You know like millions of dollars. And I can retire young. Or an idea will pop in my head magically and that will be it and I can do it in the computer. But alas no magical fairies. But I’ll keep waiting and if I find them I’ll send them your way when I’m done. And let’s hope the slump ends soon everywhere it SUCKS.

  22. I will be haunting the comments for these wonderful suggestions, because I am at a similar crossroad. (Odd how many of us are at this same place at this same time, huh?) As for myself, I’m content to drift a bit more, and toy with the idea of getting my house redecorated and finished and stuff. That should take me a good long while… 😉

  23. I went to a breakout session about this at BlogHer 10. Publishers are willing to take a risk on someone who has successfully self-published and promoted it. They are also looking for someone witgh an online presense, which obviously. Take a look at shewrites.com

    Don’t give up. Because then I’d have to kick your ass. You have been an inspiration to me so it would be the least that I could do for you and all.

  24. You know what? Same advice as I give to myself: apply yourself to your dream.

    Even if you don’t feel like it, ESPECIALLY if you don’t feel like it.

    And avoid the distraction of “busyness” you/I can create with twitter, FB, etc.

    Yeah, sucks. I know.

    But it’s the only way I know of making things happen.

  25. I agree with everyone else here – publish it yourself! I enjoy reading ur blog – u got spunk & a sense if humor. I think there is alot of people out there (me being one of them) that after there kids r grown a bit u seem lost. Hang in there kid u will figure it out! But if ur dream is to write —> then write!!!

  26. I agree with everyone else here – publish it yourself! I enjoy reading ur blog – u got spunk & a sense if humor. I think there is alot of people out there (me being one of them) that after there kids r grown a bit u seem lost. Hang in there kid u will figure it out! But if ur dream is to write —> then write!!!

  27. I see above people have already recommended self-publishing. If how much money you make truly doesn’t matter, I would think that would be a perfectly acceptable route, particularly since you seem to have a captive audience already and have proven to be a good writer.

    It seems we are supposed to decide and know what we are going to be with our whole life right out of high school. It doesn’t make much sense. I’m barreling towards 30 and still don’t know what I am going to be when I grow up. I have one bachelors degree, most of another, and am a stay at home mom who still doesn’t have a clue.

      1. Success can be measured lots of different ways too. You have mommy wants vodka and mushroom printing and band back together that you manage, oodles of your pranksters, and have helped others by writing about your life and experiences with your son’s autism, your daughter’s neural tube defects, being a survivor. I know what you mean though.

  28. Slumps are for the birds. And – I say you put your feelers (not the hurty ones) out there and see what would sell. I’m totally in. I also like the idea of writing for charity websites – they’re always looking for GOOD help.

  29. There is a site called VWorkeer.com (http://www.vworker.com/) that lets you work freelance. They have writing requests all of the time on that site.

    Articles, reviewing of writing, creating web sites, helping people getting started on blogs. All of that good stuff.

    I work on that site sometimes when I need something new or am just bored with my life.

  30. It’s obviously not an easy solution, but the Kindle market has been picking up as a solid way to sell ebooks and avoid some of the costs and just plain getting published difficulties of the print market. I know JA Konrath has a blog about his epublishing efforts linked from his site, and it might be a genuine option for you since you already *have* a strong bunch of folks who would be happy to buy essay collections and such 🙂

  31. Freelance baby! Sell some of your wacky HIGH-larious stories to various magazines and newspapers. Hell I’d read them! And with a huge following you would probably sell mucho issues, thus catching the eye of publishers. And in turn probs selling your sexy book. Ta-DA!!!!!!

      1. OR! dont tell the whore face judgmental “traditional” media-ers you’re a blogger. just be like “i have street cred yo! that’s all ya need to know!”

  32. I’ve been there. In that slump.
    Felt like I was in a vicious circle, day in day out.
    My guidance counsellor told me I would be a janitor.
    I wish!
    They bring in major coin!

    1. Hahahahaha….what planet are those counselors from???…my first choice said “taxidermist” because i liked animals….wtf? …not dead ones!

  33. I’ve been there. In that slump.
    Felt like I was in a vicious circle, day in day out.
    My guidance counsellor told me I would be a janitor.
    I wish!
    They bring in major coin!

  34. Hey Aunt Becky,

    With your creativity, your great writing, your medical training, I believe you can do anything! I think it would help if the sun would come out, makes me think better, I agree with the others, I think we are all in a slump.

  35. Advertise Yo! I will NOT be offended. Its not like the money will be coming out of MY pocket. You rock! If Dooce can make $30-$50k a MONTH with her advertising than you can too.

    You love blogging. Take it to the next level.

  36. I got into a slump, too. I made a list of plans, and I’ma DO ‘EM ALL! I’m going to finish my accounting crap, because it’ll finance my other stuff. Then, I want to learn to fix cars. And weld, wouldn’t that be awesome? Then I want to buy, restore and sell Corvettes, only until I find THE ONE, and I’ll hang onto that one until I don’t have to drive a giant truck. Oh, and I want a better giant truck, too. After all of that, I want to go back to school for a Psych degree, but only after my kids are, like, old enough to find matching clothes or they get married (which, for the boys, marriage is looking like the option)…

    So write your book AND do the virus-thing. AND the pony thing. AND this blog for sure. Also…also…all the alsos you want to do.

  37. Keep writing. It’s never going to go away no matter how many degrees you get or how many student loans you are surrounded by. [Trust me on this. I have my ways of knowing.]

    And find something fun you like to do. Do that. Volunteer. Raise more orchids. Volunteer to raise orchids. Email me and we can commiserate about the shitty job market/publishing market/inability to just be.

  38. I love slumps. I feel like they are opportunities to redefine myself and figure out somethng new i want want to do or be. My last slump i decided i needed to learn about wine…nay become an expert. Needless to say it has been a fun few months. Before that slumps led me to become a goumet cook and last year an obsessive makeup junkie…i am much more attactive now while i sip my 2006 pinor noir.

    Use it as an opportunity to create a new footnote. It may not be career related but everythng does not need to have such a weighty goal.


  39. I don’t know what you’re complaining about. I’m a stay at home mom to a darling one year old girl and I just love every single second of it. I have contentment overflowing out of every orifice! You have precious angels in your life too, don’t they just fulfill every nook and cranny of your heart? What do you need a career for? Your career is as a wife and mother!

    PS did I make you laugh? Because the vomiting that occurred while writing that better be worth it…can’t believe no one has suggested the whole be fulfilled with what you have bullshit yet…
    PPS I would buy your awesome self published book!

    1. You made me laugh out loud. Because I WAS waiting for someone to tell me I should be “grateful for what I have” so then I could light the computer on fire with my eyeballs.

      This wins as Comment of the Century.

      1. Comment of the Century!!! I would like a button for my blog, a personal mention either here on the Twitter, an immediate addition to your blogroll, and for you to come leave one of those “I heart you follow me back to my blog” type comments.

  40. woman, you’re a veritable overachiever. you write this blog. you run two websites. you’re a champion of the downtrodden and unheard. you’re doing amazing things! but if you need something else to fill your time (how do you even have time?), I would say write that book. sell it when the market perks back up. write 12 books. do what you love and the next step will find you.

    1. *blushes*

      Thank you. I earned the nickname Super Becky Overachiever in college because I’d look at my 96% and be mad that I’d lost 4% to something.

      I’ll keep my eyes and ears open. I have a feeling that when I find it, whatever “it” is, it won’t be anything like I thought it would be.

  41. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but 1) I’m not wise, and B) I’m wandering around lost myself…so, you know, blind leading blind and all…

    If I find an answer, I’ll let you know. You’ll do the same, right?

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  42. Shit Aunt Becky. I hope you de-slump soon for your sake.
    I’m sure something will grab your imagination and inspire you soon, and I know that you’ll rock whatever it is. Since you are so passionate about your writing, keep at it, maybe you’ll write it and they’ll come. And totally not in a dirty way. Unless you’re writing smut, then I guess that’d be a good thing.

  43. AB, I know you have a far reach on your own accord. That goes without saying. But I have to admit I have trouble actually identifying what, precisely, is your goal? If it’s to keep this blog up and running and stay on that path, then you’re doing just fine. If you want to make this into more of an enterprising effort, despite your volume of readers, you might want to consider attaching yourself to a larger program. Now, know that I recommend that without knowing what larger program you could attach to, I can make suggestions but I don’t really know what direction you want to get into, or if you’d be willing to make the compromises necessary to do so. And that wouldn’t be a bad thing.

    If you’re thinking “book” and publishers aren’t responding during this recession/saturated market, have you looked into self-publishing? You have an established market here.

    Let us know how we can help.

    1. I’m not exactly sure what or where I want to go, only that I need a change. I’m ready to change what I do. I want to continue what I already do (blog here, run MP and BB2G) and do something that allows me a career as a writer – a larger program – as well.

      I’d love to be more of a business-person and make more of a name for myself, just to know that I can. I’m not tied to the idea of a book, just something new to give me a direction to go, to get me out of the house, and on a new path.

      1. Well that’s actually good thank you have an open mind in terms of what direction you can take your writing.

        You are an excellent writer. You have a recall for reference that reminds of me of who Dennis Miller used to be before he clearly fell and hit his head on a sharp corner.

        Technical writing, which another poster mentioned, is certainly an opportunity while you’re looking to get yourself established. Just know that, while you’re starting out, you won’t have any flexibility. I design internal systems for my firm and am responsible for implementing them, which often includes technical writing in terms of user guides. I’ll put it this way, have you read the User Manual for your DVD player? That’s technical writing for the most part. If you can establish yourself by being able to break complex instructions into step-by-steps, then technical writing might be an avenue.

        You’re in Illinois (as am I), we have a solid market of Pharmaceutical and Medical Product companies here. With your nursing background, I think looking into getting into a learning/training department might be a little more interesting.

        Look, one of my sisters-in-law (oh I think you know which one from my Mushroom Print post) is a literal idiot and when she briefly left nursing and took a sales position for a well known pharma company, (put it this way, it sounds like it starts with an ‘f’ but it doesn’t) she was making 6 figures within one year after leaving nursing. She had the gift of gab, though. She also has an imposing personality so she could be that one who showed up at the doctor’s office or hospital and leave a supply of samples, post-its and free pens and do well. She had no actual talent, though. And sooner or later I think the field just got too competitive for her and she went back to nursing at a nearby hospital.

        With your writing, I can see you leveraging your knowledge from nursing, everything you’ve gone through with your kids, you have a specialized expertise in a few areas here, you might want to see what pharma companies are working on/in those areas and seek an opportunity to write up research, and/or train.

        My mind is running, but you have a lot of doors to knock on.

        Sorry for rambling, happy to help, let me know if I can.

  44. Um. I check your website everyday; you make me laugh, you’ve touched my heart and you’ve made “shut your whore mouth” my favorite come back ever. $5 a year? I’ll gladly give you that if it makes what you already do feel like a career.

    You rock hard. The internet is a fickle bitch and you shine among the bazillion bloggers out there. So, SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH; none of us knows what happens next. Give your overacheiving ass a break and feel good about your accomplishments ASAP or I’ll have to give you a mushroom print.

      1. If “we all” means you and me, then yes, yes we all do.

        I can not count the times I’ve beaten myself up for not living up to expectations. And by expections, I clearly mean stupid goals *I* set for myself that no one else knows about. It’s so dumb. I know this, but I can’t stop. So I drink. Just kidding! (Sort of).

        Also? If you stop being an overachieving asshole I will cut you; it’s who you are and why your websites are awesome. So, Aunt Becky, just give Overachiever Becky a swift kick in the taco to remind her not to put “what’s next” before the trees, or trees before “what’s next”. Or whatever. I’m bad at old sayings.

  45. Aunt Becky, you know what you write is worthy, ’cause too many of us tune in every day to see what you’ve added to this site. Just keep plugging and sooner or later the Hooey Gods will notice your brilliance and suck you up into the literary heavens where you belong.

    I was watching Paula Poundstone doing stand-up one night and she said, “You know why adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up? We’re fishing for ideas!”

  46. Becky, I don’t know what to say in the way of advice because I’m sort of at ‘and now what?’ myself… And I don’t know even what that means because I’m kind of where I wanted to be when I thought of where I wanted to be a year ago and that’s scary because shit. Maybe I should have been more specific and thought this out a little better. I’m babbling.

    There is something very full-filling about writing, more so if you are paid but whatevs on that till later… Plus this kind of writing is kind of a kick speaking of guidance counselors who want you to serious it up, apply yourself as you said. Life isn’t all about being funny, Missy.

    And turns out, yeah it is you old Pruneface. People like that. People want to laugh cause without laughing life kinda sucks.

    I don’t know. You can teach people to be good at a lot of things – most things – but you can not teach people to be funny. I am convinced that that is something you can’t teach. It’s a gift like being stunningly heartstoppingly beautiful.

    And its no fair that you were gifted with the heart stopping beauty thing too fyi… just sayin

    So rock on with funny self, gifts have a way of paying off

    1. It’s hard when you realize you’re where you thought you wanted to be and still you don’t know what comes next.

      You’re right. Life IS funny. I need to stop being so serious all of the time. That’s something I CAN control. Loves it. Maybe we can find our way together.

  47. I think you want to start writing a book. Not a selection of antidotes, but a story, Your story. write hard. Write Harde.
    And for all that is holy, add an amazon link to your site, i buy tones of stuff from there, and i am on your site every day. I order at least once a week! hook that up!
    yeah, that isnt a ‘carrer’ but it will help pay for you to follow your heart.
    love ya aunt becky!

    1. have to add to that. my mum did the same thing. she wrote her story. her hard story. But she wrote in fiction, with characters very loosely based on real people and real events. but she added things that she imagined happening that might have been going on and elaborated that into some seriously gripping characters. It has amazed every one who has read it, whether they knew her or not. just a thought.
      you will find your way.
      i agree with those posters that say ‘relax, your life rocks’ by all means do that. But i can tell you want to reach for that one more thing..and that is ok too.
      thanks for everything you do for all of us.
      have a happy Becky day.

  48. Aw Becky….Sorry you feel slumpy. Everyone has already said all the smart stuff. I just want to add…..give yourself a break. You are already AMAZING at all you do….just like you will be at whatever comes next in your life. Light. Love. Laughter.

  49. OOH!!! You could do a “$&%+ Aunt Becky says” thing like the “bleep my dad says” thing and get all rich and famous and have your own witty show with someone like Shatner – only not Shatner because you’re an Aunt not an Uncle. 🙂

  50. Aunt Becky. I like calling you Aunt Becky.

    I went to see my grief counsellor/therapist extraordinaire recently and I was all whiney and blubbery and red nosed and generally “I feel like shit, everything is shit, this reflecting crap is shit, I’m done with all this shit” – and he freaking quoted Leonard Cohen to me!!! A quote which basically says, that feeling all that shit – is GOOD. If you’re feeling in a slump – that’s a good thing. Take note of it. Don’t avoid the feeling shitty because that is where the change will happen.

    His response really pissed me off and I told him to SHUT HIS WHORE MOUTH (in my head) because seriously, can’t I just do some damn pilates or eat a freaking cake or take a pill or something? This shit is sucking the life out of me. But no – Leonard freaking Cohen says no. I would put the quote here but it’s all the way downstairs and I’m a lazy bastard. And I would google it but I am also stupid and can’t remember how it went. But it was good. And Leonard Cohen was my Momma’s favorite so I took it as a sign.

    The slump = gooooood.

    You rock the hell out of writing. Dare I say, you could kick another famous blogger’s ass with your writing(rhymes with goose).

    Prankster Colie

    1. Dude, sometimes, grief is TOTAL bullshit. I had to take my feelings this last weekend and be all, “you know what? FUCK YOU” and then I decided I wasn’t going to deal with my problems or think about them or dwell on them, and it totally helped…for awhile.

      Sometimes, you just have to.

      Also: I love Leonard Cohen. A LOT.

  51. I see you as a writer for a film on a Discovery channel, I see you as a author of an artcile in Scientific American. Not now, but 4-5years later, when you are done with your degree in Virusology (sp?). I’m your huge fan but I might be in minority here – I believe that you’ll be selling yourself short if you become a full-time writer NOW. You’re gifted and have a scientifical methodological approach to everything you do – be it gardening or blogging. Starting getting a new degree, and doing it in your 30s and many years after school requires courage. I think that you know that you are meant for something more than what you do now, and hence the crisis. In my opinion (and don’t get me wrong, I totally don’t know you, and might be channelling my own experience), you need finally to start working on your old dream. Give it a try! Your writing will be there when you are in your 40s but the ability to study entirely new discipline won’t be. Trust me, I’m a career change, I do know what I’m talking about. Think about it – would you ever regret if you don’t even give it a try? In anyway, Best of LUCK to you!

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