For absolutely no real reason, save for some spotting and some low progesterone, I’m full of The Fear. I have a follow up ultrasound (f/u u/s for those of us speaking medical-eze) on July 2nd to check for…I don’t know what.

And because I am pregnant and therefore certifiable, I’m terrified. I’m not accustomed to all this monitoring and the like, and it’s not helping my irrationality (actual thought: If they’re ordering another u/s, it’s because there is something terribly wrong and they need to confirm it. Reality check: u/s are cash cows, AND following up is standard medical practice).

I’m pretty sure that between the extra (crazy) hormones and the sad fact that after the past six months of hell I have no coping mechanisms left in me whatsoever. This is making day-to-day life fairly hard for me.

In that vein, I may be away from you, my sweet and lovely blog and Internet People for a spell. I fear that all I will do if given the opportunity is whine and complain and worry myself into a tizzy if left to my own pathetic devices.

Instead I will relax on the couch and stare at the wall. What? That doesn’t sound healthy to you?

If you need me, shoot me an email.

And who knows, I’ll probably be back sooner than you think.

Catch you on the flip side, bitches.

Comments

comments

38 thoughts on “Turn Off, Tune In, Drop Out

  1. Good luck my dear, I’ll email to check in on you and I’ll be praying that all is well with you and the wee one! *hugs*

  2. Oh honey. Of course you’re afraid. Past experience has opened the door of fear in your heart. That’s not crazy. That’s just the way it is.
    But it’s a proven fact you CAN carry a baby to term. Been proven twice, right?
    So try and have faith in the process. And don’t beat yourself up for having feelings that are completely normal.

  3. I was always scared right before every ultrasound – even the “your a week overdue, let’s see what’s going on in there” one. Hormones are a bitch. I’m sure everything is fine, your kid’s just a trouble maker like her (I firmly believe any kid that would put you through this is destined to be carrying a couple of Xs) mother. 😉

  4. what??
    but you are my gateway drug…*sniff* *sniff*
    I will miss you while you are off lounging and being fed grapes by your Sausage crew.
    TOTALLY get the need to unplug for a while.
    missing you already.
    xo

  5. How about your coping mechanism be that you read all of our fabulous comments? I’ll comment every day for the next six months. Or not. We’ll see. 😉

  6. Ta for now, My Friend. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and check in every now and then (day) to see when you return.

    take care of your and yours!

    XOXO

  7. aww, you know you don’t want to leave.

    but since you must, keep in mind that staring at a popcorn ceiling may be more entertaining. besides that stuff about asbestos, i think it’s far more visually stimulating than a wall anyday.

    we’ll miss you.

  8. Probably a good plan to unplug for a bit. Know I am thinking of you and remembering you in my prayers. You and your little bean. Wishing you happy, positive thoughts. (even though I totally get and actually wallowed in, the fear-based ones.)

  9. Extra monitoring worried the hell out of me with my first. By the second, it was expected (both the extra monitoring and the worry). I can’t imagine how folks make it through a pregnancy with only *one* u/s! I had them every four weeks and wanted more – I don’t fault crazy Tom one bit for buying his own machine!

    Rest up and work on growing the next Sausage. I’ll keep an eye out for your return!

  10. Be good to your self. Maybe stand on your head a bit to keep it in there. 🙂 but I understand the scared– you have been through a lot!

    I will be around if you need to talk!

  11. First of all, you’re not allowed to leave. I’m the only one who can take internet breaks, the rest of you are all supposed to be here waiting for me. . . .

    Er, I mean, take care of yourself. We love you.

    And being in the midst of my first super monitored pregnancy, let me give you some tips: Any abnormality – ie your spotting – means they will test you to death for fear of you suing them. Plus, they will make a lot of money this way. Statistically everything is more likely to be fine than not fine. Not that most of the medical professionals will mention that to you.

  12. hugs! I hang in there! And PLEASE let us know how the f/u u/s (see I’m learning new things every day!) goes!

    Babe is in my prayers!

  13. Jeez, I go camping for the weekend and everything goes to hell. Seriously, though, I hope you feel better and get some relief soon from the mental anguish. I kinda like the bitching though…I’ll miss ya!

  14. aw, man…

    understandable.

    I will miss you while you are gone. and be outrageously glad when you come back.

    have fun with the gooey cooter!!

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