I’m off to get my tattoo today. What did I decide upon? YOU’LL HAVE TO WAIT AND FIND OUT. I’ll put up pictures as soon as humanly possible.

That is, if I don’t die in a fiery tornado of terror.


As you can see, I may very well perish.

Let’s see what the Weather Channel is REALLY saying about the storms today:


Well, okay. If I die, I can use Yes That Can Be My Next Tweet to keep my Twitter account active.

I mean, this sounds like something I would say:

It’s freakish how spot-on the thing is.

Catch you on the flip-side, Pranksters. Also: HOLD ME.

33 thoughts on “Tornado of Terror!

  1. I think you put those words in on the second graphic. I mean really. Do people on the weather channel really know how to spell “MotherFucker”?

  2. Hopefully your weather dudes and dudettes are like ours and NEVER get the weather right. Ever.

    Can’t wait to see the pix! I wanted to get a tat—well, there would be 5 star fish going down my back–one for me and one for each daughter. But I am way too chicken! And allergic to pain. All four of our daughters have them though–the scales of justice; a ZTA crown; a magnolia blossom; and something from Harry Potter.

  3. (Have I posted here before? If not HI! I’m a lurker…)
    But I have to know… “fiery tornado of terror”…is that like, a tornado of fire? Cause while that would be seriously dangerous, it would also be freaking cool. A tornado OF fire. Could you imagine?
    Anyway, good luck with the tattoo…hope you don’t die. Cause your blog kicks ass.

  4. Yeah, we had 2 close calls with tornados on Saturday. I live in Easter NC and the University had the tornado alarms sounding…10 minutes after the second passed by. Thanks assholes.

  5. It’s like you are in my HEAD, man. I too think that all news, especially the weather, is a little (read: a whole shit ton) on the dramatic side these days. Everything can kill us. Or maim us. Or kick us in the pooter.

  6. We were supposed to be covered in ice today. Or not. Since it barely sprinkled here. I wish I could get paid a ton of money and get to go to hair and makeup every day to be all, “OOps, did I say the ice storm of the century? I meant overcast. My bad!”

  7. Can’t wait to see it. Good luck!

    I could never get a tattoo since I wouldn’t be able to decide what to get because it’s so permanent. FOR LIFE. Sure, I’ll get married and have a kid, but a TATOO? That’s too much of a commitment! Even so, I still think about it and, I’m sure this has been done, but wouldn’t it be awesome to get a tattoo of Tattoo from Fantasy Island?!

  8. Good luck! It’s hot and balmy and well, you know that spells disaster in the Mid-South. My son has baseball practice at six and the storm is supposed to hit at seven … I’m visualizing it now. Eeeks!

  9. In Minnesota, it started as 3-5 inches of snow tonight, then 2-4 … now we’re looking at under an inch of “slushy accumulation.” If the Weather Channel’s predictions are that accurate across the country, expect this “tornado of terror” to end up actually being “your tattoo artist farts while he/she is drawring on you.”

  10. Seriously Aunt Becky, you need to trade places with my weather people down here in Southern Misery. I’m just sayin, the phrase “All you motherfuckers are gonna die” is so much better than “We think it might rain today.” They suck, while you are the awesomest evah!! 🙂


  11. FUCKING AWESOME ! I am in the GREEN zone ! That is good right? That means go right? if not, it better wipe out a trailer park/ meth lab and not my brick house, because I haven’t filed my taxes and I wont get no damn fema/ american red cross money and shit just like Katrina all over again. Bastards. I think you should get a tattoo of a peach, not just because it’s my logo and I would then pay for it, but because it’s juicy and would be a real conversation piece. and well millions of peaches and it already has a theme song and shit. Ok I have to go, and hide next to the kitty litter box where I will vomit. I will wear my ruby slippers. If I die, make sure I am not on the news between a douche and hemroid commercial.

  12. I’m being all good and reading this post though I want so badly to just skip ahead to the next one and see the freaking tattoo already because I’m so impatient. But I’m trying to get better, so I decided to read in order, as a proper lady should.

    Also? I totally spoke in an English accent in my head while writing that last sentence. But I don’t have time to fix that character flaw, I’m still working on the whole patience thing.

  13. Glad you didnt get blown away with the strange ass weather *which is complete bullshit*
    we had our first tornado here in east tennessee in like 100zillion years or something during these weird storms.
    I dunno but im about freaking tired of it!!!

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