As I’m sure you can imagine, I made a terrible bride. I can’t say that I was a Bridezilla obsessing about centerpieces and hair length, but I sure as hell never imagined myself in the fluffy white dress, saying my vows in front of God and my whole family. I’d always thought of weddings as a sort of silly waste of time, effort and money, and you know what? I still do.
However, my saving grace while making our wedding invitations, fancy programs and seating arrangements was my best friend, Ashley. She knew what I was supposed to be doing and helped me choose things that weren’t unbearably tacky (and also put the kibosh on my requests to have the makeup artist give me black eyes on My Special Day) all the while maintaining my sanity. The process was not fun for me, as I’d never thought of myself as the Bridal Type. As a child, I played Army Ranger rather than Wedding with my gaggle of guy friends, preferring camoflouge makeup to a tiara.
I met Ashley when she was dating one of my best friends from high school, Paul, and when she yelled at him for telling me that he was sorry that I was pregnant with Ben when I informed them of my delicate condition. It was then that I knew that I had a friend for life.
It was she and I who had our first Lesbian Valentine’s Day when we weren’t dating worthless scum, and I still heart Big Pink (the vibrator) that she bought me. We’ve been there for each other through two of my children (and dude, I know you’re reading this, so if/when I have Baby #3, you’re in the room with me, whether or not I crap on the table), a string of worthless boyfriends, being single and unhappy, being with someone and unhappy, and now this, marriage.
Because I am so not like that, I don’t have anything poignant to say about marriage that hasn’t been said better by someone else (besides, being deep and meaningful makes me itch in the darnedest of places). Like anything else in life, it has it’s good times and it’s bad ones, but in the end it’s worth every ounce of energy you put into it.
I couldn’t be any happier for her if I tried, and when she told me yesterday, I got a bit misty (which is a complete rarity for Aunt Becky) and verklempt. And it made me wish I had some worthwhile piece of advice to give her about weddings and marriage other than “they bring out the worst in people” and “you’re gonna have to massage broken egos and mend hurt feelings during this whole process” (this sucks donkey ass, but it’s true).
So what would YOU tell someone about marriage? What’s the one piece of advice you’d give to someone who was newly engaged (but after a marriage without the license) about weddings or marriage (something you wish someone had told you)?
And Ashley, Congratulations! Tonight I raise my glass to you.