These pictures are the epitome of win.
Look closely, Pranksters. Look very closely at this Facebook Ad.
You too, can be a member of the intense, elite CIA!
Then, you too can pose triumphantly with a squirrel carcass.
There is nothing not AMAZING about this picture. I’m going to frame it.
Then, while trying hard not to delete my own Facebook Profile (I was creating one for Band Back Together)(I don’t know why either), I came across this beauty, which makes me really happy, and will probably ensure that I never, ever, ever, delete my Facebook profile, ever.
Now, I’m a born and raised Chicagoan, and I’ve never, ever considered putting a tiny pig in red galoshes as “something to put on my Chicago Bucket List.” Become a mob boss? Yes. Become a Mafia Princess? Yes. We teethe on deep-dish pizza and are well-accustomed to corrupt politics and locals never go to Taste of Chicago.
I might have even once had a love-affair with Rod Blago’s magnificently luscious hair (this was also probably my favorite post):
But to dress a wee pig in tiny boots? I don’t think I know any Chicagoan who wants to do that. That sounds like something a Wisconsinite would do.
This morning, as I was getting my blueberry-flavored coffee and Junior Mints at the Sleven down the street (Breakfast of Champions, I told the guy behind me who snickered wildly at my selections), I noticed something so awe-inspiring that I simply had to take a picture for you.
Do you see that, Pranksters? PURPLE IS A FUCKING FLAVOR NOW. I have been petitioning for “purple” to be made a flavor for YEARS.
Don’t believe me? LOOK
And now, Pranksters, it is. Purple is FINALLY a flavor.
Um. UM. UMMMMM.
This exists. I don’t know why.
Next time, I’m TOTALLY buying it and leaving it out around the house so when people come over, they’ll see it and be SUPER uncomfortable when they see it. Like, “woah, does Becky USE this stuff? If so, WHY?”
I love making people uncomfortable.
Last, but certainly not least, is an email I got awhile ago from someone I do not know.
I think she’s in love with me.