Okay, okay, so I’m not really an emotional person. My tears are proportionally related to the amount of direct physical pain I’m in, and crying because I’m “sad” or “happy” is just not something I do. Unless I’m in pain WHILE being sad or happy or whatever.
I’m not certain if it’s because My Left Foot (oh yes, yes I did) that currently looks so swollen it’s like only a fraction of my body has pre-eclampsia and I have become an annoying invalid who has to plot out courses to such destinations as “the bathroom” and “the fridge,” or because I’m a touch *ahem* HORMONAL, but I’m a blubbery mess.
My eyes are permanently fused together and my face covered in a sheen of snot and tears. I’m possibly gorgeous.
Nothing is too insignificant to cry over now. My cats need to be fed? *sob, sob* My peony bush is blooming? *oh, the HUMANITY!* I want a burrito for breakfast? *CHIPOTLE ISN’T OPEN, sniff, sniff, sniff*
In short, I’ve become possibly the most annoying person on the planet (some may argue that I’ve always held that particular title). I kind of want to impale myself on my Diet Coke can and rid the world of another overly hormonal woman.
I’m so annoying that I feel badly for The Sausages who are stuck looking around for their much saner Fearless Female Leader and checking the calendar religiously to see if it’s February yet. NOW I’M CRYING BECAUSE I KNOW I’M ANNOYING! AAAAHHH!
So enlighten your Aunt Becky, who may blubber and snot all over you if you ignore her. Are you emotional? Or does emotion only show when a car has run over your foot?
And how the HELL do you snap out of it?