Just got a call from my OB/GYN.

Turns out my last Pap Smear (as I like to call “Uncle Pappy”) showed some abnormal cells.

If you need me, I’ll be hiding under my bed, sadly without a bottle of whiskey.

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49 thoughts on “The Snot Fest Continues

  1. Ahh, the irregular cells. They are old friends of mine. We’ve been close companions since 1997. . . .

    Have some chocolate while under the bed. All is not lost.

  2. Here’s hoping they’re nothing. I was just thinking that instead of whisky, how about chocolate? (But the above person beat me to it!)

  3. Aunt Becky – I am old enough to be your mother so you have to listen.

    I command you to relax for at least 2 hours. Put your worries under the bed, snuggle your babies or maybe hug the big sausage (geez that sounds mildly obscene).

    Your worries will be there when you get back from your mini break.

    I was going to say “snap out of it” ala Cher in Moonstruck but I didn’t want to make you cry.

  4. Fuck! Hopefully, it’s one of those “false positives” and everything is OK.

    If I was a praying man, I’d pray for you. However, at this point, I think me praying may do you more harm than good, so I’ll just have good thoughts for you, my friend.

  5. irregular cells are a common occurrance in my life, so i completely understand! you have got to come out from under the bed though… even if it is something, it’s early, so it can be fixed! don’t stress! stress makes it worse.

  6. Oh no! I hope it’s nothing. I hope it’s nothing. I’ll keep repeating that until you tell me different, kay.
    Thinking of you. XO.

  7. Yeah it seems like I have those all the time. Finally 4 yrs after my last child they seem to be gone. For now anyways. Aprrently with the hormone changes it sometimes happens. So lets chaulk this up to probably nothing and just a flare up because of all the hormones.

  8. Becky,

    It’s totally fine! I have had abnormal pap smears for a year now, ever 3 months. Things like this are totally treatable and if you haven’t ever had an abnormal one before, you are lucky!

    You will be fine, and anyway, you’ve got us!

    Good luck feeling better,
    V

  9. I prefer to call my abnormal cells eclectic, eccentric or unique, rather than abnormal. As they were putting me through an extra procedure I started naming my abnormal cells – weird names like Alagyful, alejandra, bradley, but then I gave up and start naming them after bacteria species. Out loud, mind you. I was the hit of the ob/gyn office. Have I mentioned I do inappropriate things when I’m nervous? They found my abnormal cells after I received the cervical cancer vaccine (any chance you’ve had that recently?). Turned out to be nothing – I just get to go in every six months now! Score! Sending some good thoughts your way. And will overnight some whiskey if needed.

  10. I’m sending good vibes that your abnormal cells are merely being unique and eccentric, as suggested above. No worries yet, girl! That’s not uncommon. Crawl back out from under the bed and to the kitchen. Get some chocolate.

  11. Speaking as someone who is made up, in her entirety, of weird cells (how else do you explain it??), I believe in the “It’s just a lab tech who didn’t drink enough coffee” school of thought. Honestly, I’d be stunned if they found a “normal” cell on me…that was mine, I mean.

    Meanwhile, if you’re under the bed, don’t forget to feed the monster and thin the herd of dust critters – they’re getting out of hand.

    Oh, wait…that’s under MY bed.

    Seriously, I’ll add you to my “Enough of this nonsense!!” list of people who could use a good thought pr three.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

  12. No no no no no! Please keep us updated. I’m crossing my fingers that it’s really nothing. And I’m really hoping you don’t see any mice under your bed.

  13. Hiding under my bed wouldn’t be such a good thing. Only God and my 2-year old knows what’s under there, because that’s where she goes when she sneaks stuff. My closet, however, would be a safer bet – I know there are only my clothes, unmatched shoes, and dog hair strewn about in there.

    I hope the space under your bed is a cozier place than the space under mine, and I hope that when you come out there’s nothing more than good news to be met with.

    Thinking of you…

  14. Sending good mojo to you. If you’re going to be hiding under the bed, bring some chocolate and a good book. And don’t forget Matt Damon, but only after I’m done Fuc*ing Matt Damon.

  15. I keep hearing that “abnormal cells” mean “doctor wants a boat.”

    Or maybe they’re extra special cells that look abnormal because they’re Becky cells.

    That’s gotta be it.

  16. Fear not! I’ve had a few irregular paps. All but one re-tested fine. The only one that did not required a colpopscopy (near pain free for those of use who have been through childbirth) and after that, all fine. So, good that your Dr is keeping up with you. And don’t get worried yet. It’slikely nothing.

  17. Jesus, lady. First the foot, now the cervix. WTF. When it rains, it pours on Aunt Becky. Listen, the only time I had that scary phone call was when I was pregnant, too. Never happened before or after. This will be okay. The foot, on the other hand, is a bitch that’s going to stick around a while. So, elevate that foot and cervix, watch crappy TV and eat anything you want. Sassy vibes coming your way!

  18. I’m sorry. Hopefully it’s just one of those “things” that isn’t really a big deal. I know it’s hard when it’s you.

    Okay – I love the picture at the top of your blog. Thanks for the comment on my blog. NCLM.

  19. I am SO SURE its nothing as everyone else says above. Sending you lots of good hugs and thoughts….

    I hope you are out from beneath the bed now, come on, come out, its ok. We are all here for you and coaxing you out with our sweet comments….we NEED you to post! You are our Bloggin-Auntie-Becky and you HAVE to be here for us. xoxoxoxo

  20. Aren’t we all just slightly abnormal anyway?
    Yeah, first time that happens you freak out. Who wants to hear abnormal?

  21. Of course, they are abnormal. What the hell else can happen in your life at the moment. Have you had one those lovely colposcopy’s before? Oh, joy…get ready to “scoot” down. 😉 Hoping it’s nothing.

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