Just got a call from my OB/GYN.

Turns out my last Pap Smear (as I like to call “Uncle Pappy”) showed some abnormal cells.

If you need me, I’ll be hiding under my bed, sadly without a bottle of whiskey.



49 Responses to The Snot Fest Continues

  • PiquantMolly says:


    I hope it’s nothing.

    Though, while you’re under that bed, you might as well do some dusting.

  • tash says:

    Oh fuckin’ A. Weeping with you Aunt B, Weeping with you.

  • Karen says:

    Oh Beck! Just what you needed today. Shit.

    Don’t freak out just yet. You are a nurse; you know it can be nothing.

  • Jenn says:

    That sucks! I’m here for you if you need me. I know I’ve been shit for a friend lately. XOXO

  • Kristine says:

    I hope it’s nothing! I’ll be thinking of you.

  • Our irregular cells can plot and plan together…

    Have something mildly caffieneated whilst under the bed. Or chocolate!


  • Heather says:

    I’ll be thinking of you and hoping that it comes back as nothing more than a fluke. {{Hugs}}

  • electriclady says:

    Ugh, like you need this right now. I hope it turns out to be nothing.

  • Betty M says:

    I’ve been there – mine turned out to be nothing. Its still shit. Hoping all is ok.

  • DD says:

    Well…fuckity fuck. When’s the follow-up?

  • We’ve had those irregular cells a couple of times, the last time during the pregnancy and a little while afterwards…then gone.

  • mrs.spit says:

    Ahh, the irregular cells. They are old friends of mine. We’ve been close companions since 1997. . . .

    Have some chocolate while under the bed. All is not lost.

  • Amanda says:

    Here’s hoping they’re nothing. I was just thinking that instead of whisky, how about chocolate? (But the above person beat me to it!)

  • Heather says:

    whaaaat? Goodness. It appears, from your people above, that irregular cells may not be that bad. Hoping it’s nothing at all, in fact.

  • Frozen Star says:

    I’m gonna join the line of people who hope it turns out to be nothing.

  • heather says:

    That happened to me once, and it was the clap.

    Is it too soon to make jokes? I’m keeping my fingers crossed, Becks!

  • Vered says:

    Keep us posted.

    Chances are, it’s nothing.


  • kbreints says:

    Damn those abnormal cells. They cause more worry than anything else…. Damn them!

  • Calliope says:

    WTF? dude.
    can you ever catch a fucking break?!?!?

    I am willing it to be nothing. It is nothing.

    um, what do you do now??


  • Amy says:

    Piss on that! Pick up the phone and call if you need to, I’m here!

  • Judy C says:

    Aunt Becky – I am old enough to be your mother so you have to listen.

    I command you to relax for at least 2 hours. Put your worries under the bed, snuggle your babies or maybe hug the big sausage (geez that sounds mildly obscene).

    Your worries will be there when you get back from your mini break.

    I was going to say “snap out of it” ala Cher in Moonstruck but I didn’t want to make you cry.

  • SciFi Dad says:

    Fuck! Hopefully, it’s one of those “false positives” and everything is OK.

    If I was a praying man, I’d pray for you. However, at this point, I think me praying may do you more harm than good, so I’ll just have good thoughts for you, my friend.

  • Ames says:

    I’ll be praying that it is nothing… you poor thing! Sending lots of hugs and thoughts your way!

  • mandy says:

    awww, I am sorry. I bet it is nothing. Try to relax and NOT worry until you KNOW for a fact that it worry worthy.

  • giggleblue says:

    irregular cells are a common occurrance in my life, so i completely understand! you have got to come out from under the bed though… even if it is something, it’s early, so it can be fixed! don’t stress! stress makes it worse.

  • c. says:

    Oh no! I hope it’s nothing. I hope it’s nothing. I’ll keep repeating that until you tell me different, kay.
    Thinking of you. XO.

  • Holly says:

    Yeah it seems like I have those all the time. Finally 4 yrs after my last child they seem to be gone. For now anyways. Aprrently with the hormone changes it sometimes happens. So lets chaulk this up to probably nothing and just a flare up because of all the hormones.

  • Valerie says:


    It’s totally fine! I have had abnormal pap smears for a year now, ever 3 months. Things like this are totally treatable and if you haven’t ever had an abnormal one before, you are lucky!

    You will be fine, and anyway, you’ve got us!

    Good luck feeling better,

  • Elizabeth Ann says:

    I prefer to call my abnormal cells eclectic, eccentric or unique, rather than abnormal. As they were putting me through an extra procedure I started naming my abnormal cells – weird names like Alagyful, alejandra, bradley, but then I gave up and start naming them after bacteria species. Out loud, mind you. I was the hit of the ob/gyn office. Have I mentioned I do inappropriate things when I’m nervous? They found my abnormal cells after I received the cervical cancer vaccine (any chance you’ve had that recently?). Turned out to be nothing – I just get to go in every six months now! Score! Sending some good thoughts your way. And will overnight some whiskey if needed.

  • birdpress says:

    I’m sending good vibes that your abnormal cells are merely being unique and eccentric, as suggested above. No worries yet, girl! That’s not uncommon. Crawl back out from under the bed and to the kitchen. Get some chocolate.

  • I’ll hold your hand under the bed and bring you candy while you wait..Let us know about the follow-up!

  • Kyddryn says:

    Speaking as someone who is made up, in her entirety, of weird cells (how else do you explain it??), I believe in the “It’s just a lab tech who didn’t drink enough coffee” school of thought. Honestly, I’d be stunned if they found a “normal” cell on me…that was mine, I mean.

    Meanwhile, if you’re under the bed, don’t forget to feed the monster and thin the herd of dust critters – they’re getting out of hand.

    Oh, wait…that’s under MY bed.

    Seriously, I’ll add you to my “Enough of this nonsense!!” list of people who could use a good thought pr three.

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  • mandy says:

    Yes, I will send you some! Anything for Aunt Becky!

  • andi says:

    No no no no no! Please keep us updated. I’m crossing my fingers that it’s really nothing. And I’m really hoping you don’t see any mice under your bed.

  • Kymberli says:

    Hiding under my bed wouldn’t be such a good thing. Only God and my 2-year old knows what’s under there, because that’s where she goes when she sneaks stuff. My closet, however, would be a safer bet – I know there are only my clothes, unmatched shoes, and dog hair strewn about in there.

    I hope the space under your bed is a cozier place than the space under mine, and I hope that when you come out there’s nothing more than good news to be met with.

    Thinking of you…

  • Kristen says:

    Crap. crap. crap.
    Here’s prayin’ it’s nothing. And for some peace of mind for you my dear. sending tons of virtual hugs.

  • Jenn says:

    Sending good mojo to you. If you’re going to be hiding under the bed, bring some chocolate and a good book. And don’t forget Matt Damon, but only after I’m done Fuc*ing Matt Damon.

  • pamajama says:

    I keep hearing that “abnormal cells” mean “doctor wants a boat.”

    Or maybe they’re extra special cells that look abnormal because they’re Becky cells.

    That’s gotta be it.

  • Katy says:

    Fear not! I’ve had a few irregular paps. All but one re-tested fine. The only one that did not required a colpopscopy (near pain free for those of use who have been through childbirth) and after that, all fine. So, good that your Dr is keeping up with you. And don’t get worried yet. It’slikely nothing.

  • You’ll be fine, I’m certain! 🙂

    I’ve had many “abnormal,” cells that turned out to be completely “normal.”

    Sending you positive vibes! 🙂

  • Emily R says:

    Of course, you totally know how common that is… Doesn’t make it any easier.

  • Lola says:

    Jesus, lady. First the foot, now the cervix. WTF. When it rains, it pours on Aunt Becky. Listen, the only time I had that scary phone call was when I was pregnant, too. Never happened before or after. This will be okay. The foot, on the other hand, is a bitch that’s going to stick around a while. So, elevate that foot and cervix, watch crappy TV and eat anything you want. Sassy vibes coming your way!

  • Larisa says:

    I’m sorry. Hopefully it’s just one of those “things” that isn’t really a big deal. I know it’s hard when it’s you.

    Okay – I love the picture at the top of your blog. Thanks for the comment on my blog. NCLM.

  • Wishing4One says:

    I am SO SURE its nothing as everyone else says above. Sending you lots of good hugs and thoughts….

    I hope you are out from beneath the bed now, come on, come out, its ok. We are all here for you and coaxing you out with our sweet comments….we NEED you to post! You are our Bloggin-Auntie-Becky and you HAVE to be here for us. xoxoxoxo

  • heather says:

    Aren’t we all just slightly abnormal anyway?
    Yeah, first time that happens you freak out. Who wants to hear abnormal?

  • niobe says:

    I’m getting kind of tired of the universe f*cking with all of us. Not that the universe cares.

  • Ms. Moon says:

    Now, Aunt Becky. Don’t put that umbrella up until it actually starts raining.
    Or at least try.
    It’s all going to be okay.

  • Pauline says:

    Hang in there. Fingers crossed that it’s nothing. XO

  • Denise says:

    Of course, they are abnormal. What the hell else can happen in your life at the moment. Have you had one those lovely colposcopy’s before? Oh, joy…get ready to “scoot” down. 😉 Hoping it’s nothing.

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