Becky: “Do you like my manicure?” (playfully wraggles black fingernails in Daver’s face)

Dave (grabs hand for closer inspection): “Ooooh. Freaky! Won’t Ashley be mad that you had black nail polish put on for her wedding?”

Becky: “Nah. It’s perfectly vogue now. It’s no longer JUST for goth chicks.”

Dave: “Ah.”

Dave (grabs her hand again. This time her right hand, although not unkindly): “Wait a minute…is your wedding ring STUCK ON?”

Becky (sheepishly, in a small voice): “Yes.” (pauses) “I kept in on to long after I got pregnant with Amelia. And now I can’t get it off.”

Dave (eyes take on a mischievous gleam): “You know what this means, right?”

Becky: “Please don’t take me down to the fire station to get it cut off. I’m so ashamed. I HAVE FINGER FAT NOW.”

Dave: “No, no. I wouldn’t do that. And your finger looks great. But…”

(pauses dramatically for effect)

Dave: “You SEE this ring? IT MEANS I OWN YOU.”

Becky: “That’s MY line, assface.”

Dave: “And look at how badly it blew up in your face.”

Becky: “Touche.”

40 thoughts on “The REAL Meaning Of Marriage

  1. My dad just had to get his wedding ring cut off. It was warping his finger in all kinds of bad. My mom can’t get her’s off either, that’s what 31 years of marriage will do to ya.

  2. My father had to cut 8 rings off my hands when I swelled up during pregnancy. Luckily none of them were really good ones. I love the name Amelia, also. My niece named one of her daughters that, and her nickname is Mimi.

  3. I’ve had two rings cut off, neither related to pregnancy. One, my old wedding ring + guard, stayed like that for years without problems. It was far from an emergency when I got it cut off – it was divorce!

  4. It is NOT ownership…don’t buy into it lol! Legally it is a contract between two people (in most states a man and a woman). This contract can be broken by either party.

    When you think of it like that….it kind of seems strange that it even carries so much meaning don’t you think?

    Well all that said…I still feel more comfortable being married. I would rather be married than not married but no one better try to “own”me because I will tell you…you probably already know…no one can control me lol!

    The wedding ring thing seems so uncomfortable! And don’t be ashamed of finger fat!

  5. typically i can only get my wedding ring on before 9am. after that, i’m just not married that day i guess.

    but you, you are stuck until the sausage patty make her entrance.

  6. The real story is that they can’t survive without us. Our house and credit rating would crumble around him without me. I don’t think he knows how to operate the washer, dryer or dishwasher. I love him to pieces (lucky for him), but I could survive easier without him, than him without me.

  7. Squeeee!!! I love the name Amelia!

    Okay, I got a little excited there. Do you want the ring to come off or are you hold out for after baby is born? My girls are summer babies and I had that problem with both of them and had different solutions to both. Let me know if you need help.

  8. Oh come on, you know you want to name that kid heather.

    Amelia is good – it’s rare enough that you probably don’t know any jackass kids who ruined the name for you.

  9. Amelia, huh? I love it! What will be the shorthand when you’re yelling for her to “Get back over here and put on your clothes NOW”? Meeley, Amy, Lia, Meme, Ahhh? Three syllables is rough when you’re in a hurry to get your point across.

    I can’t stand when I eat too much Chinese food and I can’t get my rings off. Makes me nervous. My fingers were nude little sausages during my pregnancy. I saw no need to accentuate the finger fat.

  10. A certain wild womanl whom we fondly call Beans will share a name with your wee one. Her middle name is Amelia spelled the same. Told you we were twins.

  11. A certain wild woman whom we fondly call Beans will share a name with your wee one. Her middle name is Amelia – spelled the same. Told you we were twins.

  12. Amelia is an uber cute girl name 🙂

    I like that he said your finger was fine – hehehe, he knows not to admit to fat even if it’s on your finger 😉

  13. Amelia is a great name.

    Our ring conversations generally go:

    “Hey, are you married?”
    “Me neither.”
    “Do you at least know where you ring is?”
    “Uh…I think it might be by the kitchen sink. Or the bathroom sink. Or the computer. Or my bedside table. I’m pretty sure it’s at least in the house.”

  14. I’m chuckling to myself at the idea of you (with your neo-Goth manicure) being taken to the Fire Station by the Daver to get your ring cut off.

    Try a little dish soap. 😉

    Two thumbs up on “Amelia”.

  15. I LOVE the name Amelia! ::swoons:: Black nail polish is really awesome, too. 🙂

    Also, if it makes you feel any better, I got a hell of a lot more than finger fat and I’m NOT incubating a cute little bambino.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *