One of the biggest concerns I’ve had about moving out and away from my kids (since, of course, I cannot pay my home mortgage) has been how they would cope with the change. I mean, I get upset if I find out my favorite brand of socks has been discontinued, so I could only imagine how my kids would feel about their Mama moving out of the house. I talk a good game, but I love my children so fiercely that it’s been barely possible for me to talk about the divorce and the kids without bursting into tears.

Damns. I just burst into tears again. Looks like I’m going to need a new keyboard and now.

I was very careful, when packing my stuffs up and loading my life into a truck, to make sure that the kids would have a place they could feel at home. My new apartment is small, but cozy. It’s been partially decorated, so I can even call it slightly homey (not, as you may expect, “homie.”). Deliberately, I chose a place so near to one of the parks that the path is literally behind my buildings. I may not have the bedroom for the kids (yet), but I do have a space for them to call home.

In that vein, I’ve been careful to snatch up any toys that have been long-forgotten and shoved into bins in the basement formerly known as my own. And I’ve happily accepted any fun stuff the kids might like, while I quickly replaced my kids lovies with as an identical match as I could find. Hey, I’m not above bribing them with toys that are strictly for Mama’s house.

The timing was fortuitous for me as I’d been asked to do a giveaway (after trying the product) for kids from The OrganWise Guys, who promote understanding of how the body works and how to be healthier by following a set of educational games followed by some plush toys. It’s not quite the same as Oregon Trail, but I’m pretty sure my digital kids would be all, “what is UP with that green screen, Mama?” and the anatomy nerd in me, I won’t lie, squeed at the chance to teach my children about anatomy while they learn eating habits so they can grow to become doctors and buy me a house and diamonds and stuff. It’s a little more on-level than the Grey’s Anatomy book I’ve been reading to them since they were babies. And the diamonds? I figure it’s the least they can do to pay me back for those sleepless nights.

Amelia, my wee book nerd, was especially impressed. That girl will read ANYTHING she can get her wee paws on.

the kids are alright

Alex is, well, he’s a dude. Watch. Trust me, it’s… he’s a dude.

And lastly, we unveiled the kidneys, which were much cuter than when I’d dissected them on the A&P slab. THEY’RE EVEN HOLDING HANDS, PRANKSTERS. When I stop dying of the awesome, I’ll let you know.

the kids are alright

(note the matching Capitol Kitty’s in the background – Amelia was especially impressed that she’d managed to put both of her cats together.)

While I’d wanted to play a game with the kidneys, possibly, “hide the kidneys” or, “let’s cuddle with kidneys,” I didn’t. Mostly because the kids both fell asleep inside my sparkly pink ottoman after this shot was taken. Don’t ASK me how. I can barely sleep in a bed, but they’re happy sleeping inside furniture. Kids are weird.


So The OrganWise Guys are giving away the very same game to one of my Pranksters. Why? Because they’re awesome.

To enter, leave me a comment telling me what YOU’D do with a pair of plush kidneys.

For additional entries, you may do the following (please leave a comment for each – I’m not too bright):

*Follow me on Pinterest

*Subscribe to my Frugal Living Blog (how to save money at Target is my post today)

*Like my Facebook Page (which I have NO idea what to do with)

*Like Band Back Together’s Facebook Page

I’ll pick a winner (heh) in one week – October 10, which I feel something important is going on, which makes me uneasy, because if there is something, I’ve forgotten it. I’ll also give you one last day at this giveaway before I pick a winner!

Moving totally screwed with my mojo but I’m SO almost done!

41 thoughts on “The Kids Are Alright (Part I)

  1. OBVIOUSLY I would give plus kidneys to my son Pike because he needs to try and eat them. I might also stick them onto the outside of my shirt just so people would ask WTH is wrong with me. Maybe.

    In other news, holy CRAP I love your red sparkly ottomon!

  2. I’d like those kidneys to leave in the bathroom on the toilet tank for when I have company over to stare at them judgementally when they use the bathroom.

    Either the above, or hang them from my rearview mirror in the car. I like watching people do double takes when I drive by.

    PS: I follow you and the Band on twitter as silvertrish

  3. Oh gosh internal organ toys are fun! I’d prob make them talk like “Oh, you have to pee? You can’t do that without me!” and throw them at my friends on their way into the bathroom.

    Or you know, something equally as obnoxious.

  4. My set of plush kidneys would become the Traveling Kidneys. They would be left in random places around my work and friends’ places, to be discovered and then hidden again. It would be the BEST GAME EVAH!!!!!!!
    Imagine it:
    “Hey, I want some soda! Where is it…WTF are smooshy kidneys doing hugging my Diet Crack?!?!”

    Oh, yeah.

  5. I would put the kidneys on a wreath on my front door. When people asked what they were, i would look at them confused and say “duh, kidneys”.

  6. I’d let my kitty play with the kidneys while I called her vicious, I’d gnaw on them in hopes to understand what a zombie feels like, I’d flick at them to see if it makes me pee, I’d punch the kidneys when mad at someone, I’d … no really I’d probably give them to my neice who says she wants to be a doctor to take care of her parents when they are sick 🙂

  7. You read Gray’s Anatomy to your kids at bedtime?
    I believe that explains the weirdness.

    I still read through mine once in a while. Mostly, I look at the pictures though.

  8. Ohhh the humanity! To have new-and-improved (Plush) Kidneys! They joy of having nice smooth (Plush) kidneys! WITHOUT the goddamn STONES! Ugg! You would totally not like kidney stones. So I’ma hopin’ that you take pitty on my non-plush-stone-filled-kidneys.
    Love ya AB!

  9. I don't need the kidneys, got two of my own that seem to work overtime, but I am delighted with the update on how the kids are doing. Have you read Amelia Bedelia to your Amelia, yet. She may not be quite old enough yet but Alex sure is. Best wishes of rainbows and unicorns to all of you.

  10. Dude. PURPLE PLUSH KIDNEYS! SQUEEEEEEEEEL! I would SO hang them from the rearview mirror of my big truck. Cuz frankly I find them way cuter than the balls hanging from some truck hitches, and PURPLE PLUSH KIDNEYS says I got class, and you are crass. Boo-yah!
    and total win on the whole kid – apt – moving thing. It’ll be ok girl. /hugs/

  11. I'm in your same walk. Only I had to move to a different city for a job and am temporarily a weekend mom which makes me feel like the scum of the earth. God it rips my heart apart.

  12. If I had a pair of stuffed kidneys, they would so hang out in my son’s bed with his stuffed sperm! It’s so cute… it has a little blue bow on it’s head! We didn’t get the egg to go with it, but she has a cute pink bow. So a pair of kidneys would fit right in!

  13. I cannot tell a lie. I owoukd totally give the kidneys to my dog and watch her systematically destroy them. So you probably shouldn’t pick me.

  14. I’d give them to my kids to mess around with. They like that kind of thing. A friend of ours sent STD and virus plush toys to us a few years ago. It was awesome trying to explain syphilis and gonorrhea to my daughters.

  15. That looks like something my hard-to-please 2 year old would like to "play with" (put in her mouth). I like you everywhere, AB! 🙂 And the Band. PS, I just got divorced and I kept the apartment we were living in. You are so blessed in one sense to have this fresh new space. I know it totally fucking sucks. But, there is cool stuff, too, and that's what I'm saying.

  16. I like you & The Band on FB. Glad y'all are doing well & that you're figuring out the new home.

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