It must have been December or maybe January as we inexplicably when I cradled my arms around my rolly-polly belly and said tearfully to The Daver words I would yearn to eat later.

“I just” *sniff, snort, hiccup* “I just want him to love me best.”

(there is, of course, a reason for this. Autistic kids, The Internet informed me, are sometimes like Siamese Cats. They choose a person and that is Their Person. Everyone else doesn’t matter. Ben chose several people, of whom I am not #1.)

(can you blame him?)

It was a prophetic choice of words, and it made me wish that maybe if I said things like, “I just want to poo off 60 pounds this morning” or “I just want to have an unlimited supply of Diet Coke,” it would magically come true. Suddenly I would awake one morning as a swim-suit model, chugging gallons of Diet Coke.

Sadly no, but do any of you remember the Monkey Paw story? Based on the blank looks I get when I reference it, I’ll give you a brief overview: this magical monkey paw was given to a couple who had recently lost their son, with it, they could make three wishes. But because I don’t read the fine print, all I can remember is the wife, wishing their son would come back to life.

He does, but as you might expect of someone who had just been sleeping the eternal sleep, he wasn’t who he was. The moral, of course, is “be careful what you wish for.” Maybe I should have heeded this advice. It might have spared the waning fragments of my sanity.

But I said it, and I got my wish in spades. I’m sure, of course, this was merely magical thinking, but it worked. And my son was born a Momma’s Boy ™. He nursed every hour for 12 months, spent the first 11 months of his life waking up overnight 3-5 times, and recoiled in horror when anyone else dared to try and touch him. Including, of course, his poor father.

While it might sound perfectly lovely to some, and it was for awhile, I couldn’t go to the bathroom without him having a fit. When I say fit, I don’t mean a mild tantrum, I mean that he would scream, and cry and scream and cry the moment I left his line of sight until I’d come back to soothe him. I often considered making a cardboard cut out of myself to stand as a dummy so that I could possibly wash my hands in peace.

Maybe I should have.

Anyway.

The older he’s gotten, the more likely it is that he will take a shining to someone else. He’s very close with his father. He adores his older brother and sister. He loves my mother, his “Gummy.” Other people he likes, but can often be slightly reserved in their presence. It’s turned from something that made life intolerable after awhile into a mere quirk of his personality.

Alexander (whom we often call Jay) is just a Momma’s Boy ™.

This, of course, has taken a hilarious new turn.

Now, while Alex is awake, I am not able to hug or cuddle with either of the other men in my house. Amelia, he’s okay with but should Dave dare to wrap his guns around me, Alex is the Holy Ghost times twenty (somewhere, my MIL is smiling and she knows not why).

He’ll quickly run up and try and ensconce himself between our legs. Once there, he will try to peel us apart as though we were a gooey pair of stickers, and should we hesitate in breaking our embrace, he shrieks. And Alex’s screams could double as a dog whistle an eardrum rupturer. He’s THAT shrill and loud.

At first, thinking that he just wanted in on the lovin’, I’d swoop him up and squash him in. He’d wrap a spindly arm around me and use the other to push his father (or brother) away, yelling “NO DADA!” or “NO EWE!” (he calls Ben Ew. Which I think is “you” because we’ve never called anything “ew” before. But we don’t call Ben “you” either. I guess the moral of THAT story is that kids are just weird.).

Oh no, Alex doesn’t want ANYONE but he or his sister to lay a finger on his precious mother.

Because I know this is only a phase he’s going through, we all find it pretty funny and charming. I remember being a wee one and being entirely convinced that I would grow up to marry my uncle. Any ladyfriend he brought around after I made my mind up, I was immediately An Enemy. Didn’t matter how many times I was told that I couldn’t marry an uncle, I wouldn’t listen.

oedipal-jay

Nobody better lay a finger on my mother.

I just feel sorry for his future wife. There’s no way this can go well for her.

—————————

Now I have some business to attend to, but don’t worry. It’s not crazy boring. Only KIND of boring.

See, over on that sidebar is a page called “Link-a-Licious.” As you might deduct from the name, o! brilliant Internet sleuths that you are, that page is my blog-roll. It’s insane. It’s unruly. And it needs a hair cut and dye job, desperately.

So this is where YOU come in. Do you have a blog? Do you comment here? Do I know you? Do I WANT to know you? (I probably want to know you) Does your link work properly or have I completely messed it up? Leave me your link.

Also: I am on Facebook if you are so inclined to want to read more of my pointless shit. My name is at the bottom of the blog.

ALSO at the bottom of my blog, hidden neatly away there so that no one can find it (hello pointless!) is an RSS button, should you want to subscribe. Do not ask me what that means. All that I know is that this is a really fracking stupid place to put a button *grumble, grumble* and I cannot wait for my new design.

I am on Twitter! Because who isn’t? My name is “mommywantsvodka*” and we should totally be BFF!!! Triple exclamation points for triple the fun!

And how cool is this? I didn’t even pay her to write this.

Lastly, I need some prayers sent for a friend of mine. The details aren’t mine to share, so I won’t, but please PLEASE keep my friend in your prayers.

*My name is NOT “mommy wants vodka.” It is Becky Sherrick Harks.

Comments = full of the awesome. Like gravy. I can haz an RSS RSS feed .

73 Responses to The Incredible, Oedipal Jay

  • Oooooh, are you doing your own design? Can’t wait. (I always got a kick out of the RSS button at the bottom of the screen. “Go ahead, bitches! I dare you to find my feed.”)

  • MK says:

    Well I was all ready to be cute and funny in my comment then you posted that pic of your lil boy’s lashes and I’m all sidetracked and lost my train of thought.

    Love the Trademarked Momma’s Boy! I thought I had my info into the gov’t for that TM…:p

    Read the article – you’re super famous and shit!

  • lady lemon says:

    Alex is too cute. I would kill for that skin of his.

    I can’t wait to have babies, Becky. I CAN”T WAIT!!!

  • Kristina says:

    That is just the sweetest picture. My son also has the “Daddy is touching Mommy” radar. He has been known to come flying down the hallway when hubs comes home and gives me a hug. But, I am eating it up. Soon, kissing mommy will be like the kiss of death.

    P.S. I am already on your linkalicious list, but you might have my blog title wrong. No big deal though, I’m just happy you link to me!

  • Mwa says:

    I have a daughter like that. She hits her brother when he dares to hug me.

    And, yes, I do read your blog and comment. If you want to know me is up to you, but I think I’m ok. ;-)

  • Cassie says:

    Jackson has gotten to the point where he wants nothing to do with his dad, not if I’m around anyway. He will play just fine on his own, until he sees me. Then he screams bloody murder until I come and pick him up. I think my husband is definitely jealous, but I am really hoping that this ultra clingy-ness wears off soon!

  • Mimi says:

    Voted.

    I am SO going to give you an enormous, blinking RSS button at the top of your site. ;-)

    Nora is exactly like Alex. No one but me can do anything for her, which is fucking exhausting. But trust me, if he ever stopped, you would go from relieved to jealous in five seconds flat.

  • Amy D says:

    I swear, the grass is always greener….I would DIE if Jack felt he just couldn’t live without me for a mere second. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE if the kid would snuggle with me and maybe (just maybe) fall asleep for a nap with me every now and then. That’s just not how Jack rolls. *sigh*

    Oh, well, the bright side is my husband is the one he wants around constantly. So I get lots of blogging,wine consuming, “me” time when the husband is off being Mr. Mom.

    BTW: you do have my blog link. It was the happiest day of my simple little life when you through it up there. **sniff, sniff**

  • kbrients says:

    Sam is seriously a mammas boy and it driving me farking nuts! Henry will enter the room and Sam will stop what he is doing (not paying attention to me) and run towards me screaming… My mom!

  • No matter which way you have it, you want it the other way. My son loved everyone. He smiled his gummy, toothless grin at any soul that passed his way. Sat happliy in the arms of any friend, neighbor, electrician, whoever. I wanted to be “special” to him, but he was so full of love and sunshine that he had to share it.

    Once I resigned myself to sharing him, I had to focus my attention on stranger danger education. Had we not put him through full scale brainwashing, he would have happily walked off with anyone and would have given them our SSN’s, bank account numbers and credit card numbers in the process.

  • choosy says:

    Hello,
    My boy is going through a no one but daddy stage and while I think it’s cute the husband is OVER the moon. You’d think he won an award. Every day.
    And I thought he was silly with the girl. The boy has brought out a new level of daddy love and pride.
    Fun to watch. And like you say, it’s just a stage. Enjoy it while you can.

    In other news, I would love to be linked.
    Is there a special ceremony? Should I get you a ring?
    ‘Cause I will.

    Okay off to vote for you. One last time.

  • Marinka says:

    And all this time I thought that I was Alex’s favorite person. Although this probably explains why he doesn’t mind when the Daver hugs and gropes me.

  • Lola says:

    First of all, that’s a super cute pic of the little mommy hogger. Secondly, it looks like you came in second, which is awesome as hell, and Cake’s 8,000 votes shrunk quite a bit. Hmmm. Can we trust that she came in first?

    Lastly, I’m not on your linkypoo-poo, which has me in tears. I just don’t know what to say. I’ve been mortally wounded…

  • Sandy says:

    Ok, Becky Sherrick Harks, you had me at hello. But I have much to say. First of all, I accept your proposal. And if you made it in some kind of drunken stupor I want you to know that I HAVE IT IN WRITING. I have favored that tweet and it’s not going away, lol.

    I had NO IDEA that I was part of your blogroll. Honored. That’s all I can say. Honored.

    And the link to my blog in your above post? The coolest thing ever. I owe you. I owe you big.

  • swirl girl says:

    payback will be abitch someday when he’s trying to get lucky with some cheerleaders or something…..

    and I BETTER be on that roll, girlie!

  • Betts says:

    My daughter just wants in on the lovin’. She calls it a family hug, which used to be a “fambly hug”. I miss that.

    Oh, and I already follow you everywhere like a creepy stalker. I’m going to be president of your fan club when you become famous. Or are you already famous?

  • heather says:

    Becky Sherrick Harks, Sandy put you right there beside Angelina Jolie and Demi Moore. You are HOT. You should do something for Sandy. Just saying.

    I’m on The List. Hopefully, me and my dead typing finger shall remain on said list. And I’m totally stalking you on FB.

  • Kyddryn says:

    The Evil Genius is friends with everyone. he doesn’t care who hugs Mommy, or Daddy, or anyone else, as long as we hug him when he wants. He will tell relative strangers (and strange relatives) “I love you!” on a whim…and mean it.

    I’m fine with that.

    After all…despite his affection for all and sundry…he DID tell me “You’ll always be MY woman.” Gotta love it.

    Meanwhile, I’m already linked and it works, so cheers!

    Also, I will pray for your friend, for whatever she is experiencing to turn out for the best…

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

  • birdpress says:

    I still don’t see the RSS thing. But that is okay because I am SOOO old fashioned that I keep all my favorite blogs in a folder under my “favorites” and actually click on them one at a time, however often I choose. Don’t try to convince me how outdated I am; I know, I know.

  • S says:

    I have to laugh because you have “Mrs. Spit SpRouts” instead of spouts. Silly.
    For the record, I love your “pointless shit”.

  • Crystal says:

    Definitely understand the whole Momma’s Boy thing. My son is now 3 and he still screams and cries every time I dare close the door to go to the bathroom in peace. This, along with my 11 month old daughter at that age as well, makes for one very frazzled me. I’m sure I’ll be longing for this time when my kids are slamming doors in my face, but how lovely that sounds sometimes.

  • Lexi says:

    Both my boys LURRRVE their daddy. I mean, they tolerate me, because I’m the one that gives them food. But he’s the special one.

    Unless they’re sick. When babies are sick, they wanna their mama! Which is sweet, but also means I’m usually the one to get puked on.

    I’m not on the list, but that’s pretty typical because I’m a horrible stalker/non-commenter. A “lurker”, if you will.

  • Danielle says:

    OK, so I stalk you on your blog, on Twitter AND on FaceBook, but you don’t have my blog on your list *SOB* I’m off to go take a bath with my sharp razor and write on the wall “Becky doesn’t love me!!!” with my blood.
    My son is like Alex too. He is almost 6 now and will allow my husband to hold me but a few years ago if anybody touched me, he would freak out! Nobody was good enough for him, except me. He even slept in my bed when my husband worked nights. I would try to get him to sleep in his own bed, that kid had some stealth ninja moves and would crawl in our bed without me knowing! Damn sneaky little bastard!
    *HUGS*

  • Hope says:

    Are you shitting me? Do you mean I could have trademarked the words ‘Momma’s Boy’ a week ago and now you and everyone else would be paying me bucks to use them? What else isn’t already taken? Ass wipe? Douche bag?

    My dog is like your son… *sigh*…She won’t even go out side for a crap unless I go with her. (This is not going to work out very well in January.) And she hates most men, except for my son – I think she has the hots for him.

    http://www.hopethisisnottaken.blogspot.com/

  • Hope says:

    The internet just ate my comment…but I can’t believe I could have trademarked Momma’s Boy a week ago, if only I had thought of it!

  • Kristin says:

    Add me, add me…I already follow you on Twitter and Facebook (stalkerish much?). My blog is Dragondreamer’s Lair and the url is http://thefertileinfertile.blogspot.com/

  • baseballmom says:

    Awww-he’s so cute! Alex still thinks he’s going to marry me, and when i explain that he can’t, he says he’s going to live with us forever anyway! I think it’s so cute that they love their moms so much…even if they can be assholes sometimes. I have to enjoy it while it’s happening! I checked out your links, and mine is correct…thanks so much for linking me! I hereby make out with you…

  • Lippy says:

    Those eyelashes will make the girls swoooon. My oldest is has always loved daddy best. He also had a thing for our daycare ladies mom. He was letting her do something vile like wash his face and I was informed that “they had a special relationship”. I was all ” special like pushing him out your vagina special?” He only tolerated me for the boobs. My daughter spent the first 18 months hating daddy. Now she hates all of us.

  • SciFi Dad says:

    So I’m surprised to report that I am actually already on “the list”.

    Also? Advice to Daver: whenever you’re leaving Becky for any length of time, just tell Alex to never leave her side. That way you’re assured she can’t cheat on you (or have a bowel movement in peace).

  • Apple Sauce says:

    I love the title. Very witty and appropriate.

    Little boys…gotta love ‘em.

  • marymac says:

    Hey Becky- you rock, am stalking FB/Twit, would love to trade bloggy linky love fo sho! Swing over to Pajamas and Coffee and see whatcha think. I mean, congrats on your excellent showing at the blog contest (NO ONE CAN BEAT THE CAKE PEOPLE)- I ended up in 8th to your far superior 2nd, but I was happy to land in top ten out of 168. Because who DOESN’T think an Edward Cullen Twilight blog is HILARIOUS? Ugh. Anyhoo- mosey in over soon!

  • Inna says:

    I’m stalking you on facebook now too. My link works and I love being your pimp! :)

    Maybe I should get twitter just so I can stalk you there too…

    And when I was little I refused to go on anyone’s lap except my mom or my grandma. Apparently I shrieked extremely loudly if anyone else dared look at me.

  • Ms. Moon says:

    My daughter Lily used to do the same thing with me and her daddy. Stand between us, hands on each of our crotchular areas and push us apart. But she did not want her mommy messing with HER DADDY!
    But now she’s married and about to have a son of her own and so, it goes on.
    Freud got some shit right.
    She still loves her daddy but she knows who her husband is. Alex will be fine.
    And the vote thing?
    Uh. You know how I feel about this particular contest.
    Something is rotten in Denmark when it comes to Funniest Blog.
    You win in my heart.

  • chuckling. i remember those days ..:)
    my youngest is 10 yrs old now.
    gosh i feel old :p
    but hes still a mommas boy and i love how he chooses me still over everyone including ex lol

  • Coco says:

    I’m pretty sure you have me whether you want me or not. Linked, that is.

    I love that you call Alex “Jay”. Badger is still trying to say his own name, which is alternately cute and alarming, as in an emergency, he’s likely as not to tell a 911 dispatcher his name is “Mr. Magee”.

    It might work if that was even our last name, but it isn’t. I don’t know where it came from. One day at about 5 weeks old, he just became Mr. Magee.

  • Valerie says:

    I’m throwing it out there that RSS feeds are the bomb. Only thing that keeps my blog-roll keeping me sane.

  • Merritt says:

    I don’t think my kids really like me all that much. Neither one of them are particularly affectionate to me (or anyone else). Maybe when they were a lot younger, but lately, my daughter is WAY too cool to be hugged, and the best I can get from my son is a wayward fist bump.

    I’m totally going to stalk you on facebook (already stalking you on twitter), and curiously, my blog is not on your linktastic list, and it totally should be because I’m awesome. I voted for you like 483 times, so I’m thinking a little reciprocation is in order ;)

  • Mrs. La La says:

    “I just want him to love me best”….did it work? Do I want it to? ;) We shall see.

    I sent you a Facebook friend request (jumping excitedly from foot to foot)

  • Susan says:

    Oh Aunt Becky. I feel your pain so incredibly deeply. We adopted our second son and fortunately he attached to us, (read me; I mean us but mostly me), and fortunately was relatively healthy except for one terminal disease, (read Hep B) and he wouldn’t fucking get off me. We deemed him the Barnacle Baby. You do not have it easy and that’s because God knew you could do it best. My kid? Yeah not so much. He’s still a goddamn barnacle and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Except when he has b.o. And that’s pretty much every day.

  • hey Becky –
    I stumbled across your blog and enjoy reading your posts – even moreso because I live in Crystal Lake which is a mere drop-kick from where you’re at.

    I post on LiveJournal at the link above. My blog is simply called “Talk Talk” because it’s hard to be creative when you are the mother of 5.

  • sharon says:

    oh, the lashes! ♥

    thx 4 leaving us ur info – i can follow u now – yay!

    & i have a blog – we’ve only just “met”, but i’d love 4 u 2 come check me out! :0)

    http://skatesfamily.blogspot.com/

  • Meh- you may want to know me, i just started blogging-without-a-name as i like to call it because I do not want to look up how to spell anonymous – crap- oh well my other blog is rather boring but this new one is fun because my mom does not read it. So I think I am slightly funny, but not tons. I finally got on twitter after resisting for some reason, so now I follow you. But I won’t friend you on facebook because then my batman mask would have to totally come off and their would be a scandel and like no one would care…

  • harmzie says:

    I clicked over here because I saw the “Oedipal” title and it rang a bell as I’ve often been the object of my 4yo son’s affection – like affection – and have thought to myself that I should be doing something about this, or at least not encouraging him to be so much of a momma’s boy. Little Eddie, I call him.

    But then he spontaneously spurts “I wuff you mommie!” at the same time as a giant squishy hug around the neck. AND at the same time as both of his older sisters are screaming “YOU’RE THE MEANEST MOM EVVERRR!” And you can see the dilemma I’m in.

  • Allyn says:

    I don’t know you, but I follow you on twitter and already have subscribed to your blog. So I guess I can say go ahead and put my link up there! I’m not a parent yet, but since I can’t find a job in my newly relocated life I am a stay at home person. So, um, yeah. Thanks. Keep up the good writing! And good luck with your book!

  • Venti Vixen says:

    “He nursed every hour for 12 months, spent the first 11 months of his life waking up overnight 3-5 times, and recoiled in horror when anyone else dared to try and touch him.”

    OMG, seriously. I can relate all too well. See, I’ve had this thing growing out of my ass for 4 years now…

  • June says:

    Can you believe I refer to that creepy Monkey’s Paw story often? And no one has ever heard of it. Until there was you.

    I saw it as some made-for-TV movie when I was a kid. And that son is pound-pound-pounding on the door. Oooo!

    There were other relevant things I was gonna comment on but now I have chills.

  • I have vague recall of the monkey paw story. My younger one is still a mama’s boy. He doesn’t like sharing. I’m following you on Twitter & Facebook. You have me in your blogroll but it is my old blogspot addy. It’s http://www.havocandmayhem.com now

  • Dot says:

    It sounds like those geese that “imprint” on the first being they see and follow him/her around forever. :-) I believe that Monkey Paw thing was an Edgar Allen Poe short story. REALLY creepy.

  • Badass Geek says:

    So long as he doesn’t stab out his eyes at some point, he’ll probably just grow out of it, like you said.

  • I would be much obliged, ma’am, if you included my blog on your blog roll.

  • Sky says:

    *sniff*

    I don’t appear to be on your list. I’m sooo sure.

    :)

    I’m gonna look you up on twitter. My user name is the_sha.

  • Jen Anderson says:

    I’d love to be added to your blogroll.

  • Katie says:

    I don’t think I’m on your list *sobbing*. I’m not on Facebook or Twitter though, so I’m not ignoring you there. I’d totally be your friend if I was on there, but I fear I’d become a stalker so I avoid those things.

    Isn’t Sandy the coolest? I recently found her myself and her writing is awesome.

  • I don’t have a mama’s boy as my son is grown, but when I hug my husband the dog humps my leg. Does that count?

    As far as being on your blogroll, I’d love a seat at the cool kid’s table.

  • SCY says:

    I’m link-a-licious :))))))) We’re twits and BFF :))))))

    xxx

  • Kristine says:

    You’ve got me, and holy crap, I have a lot of blogs I need to check ot now…now that I don’t really have time as my current boss is much more demanding than my former boss…at least until I get another job.

  • deb says:

    This could only have been better if you added “bitch” to My name is Becky Sherrick Harks ala I’m Rick James bitch!

    One thing about the lil guy. Just know that someday he will be a teenager and probably wont want you around at all. AT.ALL.
    So enjoy it while you can. Or at least try.

  • deb says:

    Oh. And I don’t know why or how…but I am NOT on the link-a-licious lists. Not that I see anyway.
    :)

  • Nancy says:

    My son wasn’t that bad, but he did have to go to therapy for “separation anxiety” for a while. Now, at 15, he couldn’t care less where the hell I am as long as I leave him food!

    Fancy Schmancy is not on your links list anywhere :(

  • Mrs Soup says:

    I’m hurt. You tease me, call me lover, post comments and I’m not on your link-a-licious page.

    I’m going to go cry.

    For hours.

    But not until after I stare at that adorable photo for a bit longer….

  • Kendra says:

    I have three little barnacles, but I only sometimes wish they would like someone else for a while. My middle one inserts himself between me and anyone else I happen to be touching, and my youngest just scales me like a mountain several times a day. (I loved The Monkey’s Paw. That kind of ending is right up my alley!)

    And I’m very touched to see that my blog is linked; I think I”m interesting, but I never know if anyone else agrees.

  • Jenny says:

    I just started reading your site and I love it. You are a riot! Good luck with your book proposal, hope it all works out for you.

    Blog site is this, should you decide “you want to know me” and link it:

    http://motherlawyercrazywoman.blogspot.com

    Thanks for providing a smile today with your witty writing!

  • Jenny says:

    Just wanted to say thanks for the smile today! I have recently come across your blog and now it is appointment reading. You are a riot.

    I do have a blog, the link is below. Not sure if you’d “want to know me” but link away if you’d like.

    http://motherlawyercrazywoman.blogspot.com

  • giggleblue says:

    i think you already have my link! xoxox

  • Tatiana says:

    I just want to point out that this post’s title has TOTALLY been stuck in my head since it was published. Seriously clever.

  • zelzee says:

    Enjoy those hugs and sense of possession as long as you can!!!

  • mommiebear2 says:

    I read you & would love if you stopped by sometime! :)

  • Betty M says:

    Here is my link if you want it: http://www.highlandhardrain.blogspot.com

    Lovely photo by the way.

  • mumma boo says:

    Dude, I’m most honored to be on your list. Thank you!
    And stop teasing me with those photos! I’m slobbering all over my screen trying to smooch those cheeks. ;)

  • Eva says:

    You have a lot of Ks in your name!

  • Dee says:

    I love this site. It’s very raw. I love the layout; quite unique. Thanks for letting us in and for sharing in this way. I voted for you on blogger’s choice.
    http://visnett.blogspot.com

    Dee

  • qcmama says:

    I love reading your blog. You make me laugh on days that I really don’t even want to get out of bed. Hopefully you will hop on over and check my blog out too. Probably not nearly as entertaining as yours but it is my little space on the net and I kinda like it. ;) I have a twitter too…its qcmomma and qcmama on facebook too. I know I am original huh ? lol.

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