As I type this post to you, I hate to tell you this, but I may or may not be dying. I know, your Google Reader* probably thanks you. It’s through a haze of Delsym that these words are arranging themselves into sentences that may or may not make more or less sense than normal, but onward! Onward and upward we will forage, Internet!

Because that is what we do!

Halloween. Yes, Halloween. This is the obligatory after Halloween post where no one will read these words anyway, because, oh! look! funny looking cute kids! A blue car! A frog reading Aristotle! HA!

On Friday, I was all Mr. Burns cackling that I was gonna pay Alex back for sleepless nights and being an overall difficult baby by making him dress up in ridiculous costumes before he made me buy him costumes like dragon warrior stealth slasher or (the bane of my existence) Star Wars Characters.

Exhibit A:

The Halloweiner:

The Halloweenier

I mean seriously, how much worse can you get? The kid was a HOT DOG! HA.

(also, I was in the wild throes of sleep deprivation).

Exhibit 2:

The Hedgehog (which everyone thought was a rat. Which, hi, NO)

Alex as a Hedgie

Okay, so this costume was funking adorable and he was thirty quadrillion times cuter than my own! live! hedgehog Tate, who was an ASSHOLE. Also, I bribed Alex to pose for this picture by giving him candy because I win at life and motherhood.

Revenge, this year was a dish best served, well, you’ll see…

Alex NOT as a chicken

This is what Alex went dressed as for Halloween this year. A Skelly-ton. A Skelling-ton.

When posed with the question, “do you want to put on your costume?” Alex said, “NO!” and then threw his wee body with the head the size of a globe on the floor and began to flail about.

Somehow, it seemed unfair to force it upon him, although I considered it for a millisecond. In fact, he’s squawking indignantly, if you can imagine, at me taking this picture, because the flash is bothering his wee eyes. Delicate flower, that one.

Speaking of delicate flowers, here is his sister:

Mimi as a Skely-ton

Also as a Skelling-ton, pre-Halloween (this was on Facebook, so I’m sorry for those of you squawking at the outrage of a repeat), a much calmer child in the eyes of the paparazzi.

Flower Grrl

My very own Flower Grrrrl, who was a freaking trouper and a half.

I should have some additional pictures up on Facebook later in the week, so as not to slow the load time of my blog any further. Because I am not only a Queen among Men, but a considerate soul.

And lastly, but certainly but not least, the person certain to win biggest brother of the freaking century. The person who made sure to ask at every house for candy for his brother, even when his brother was too afraid to go up to the house himself, my first son…

First the Wayback Machine:


And this year:

Ninja Benner

A ninja. Which proves that I am not a little boy because a ninja? REALLY? I don’t get it AT ALL.

Aside from being on my Death Bed now, Halloween was a rousing success (SHOCKING) and I’m pretty sure that no one tried to poison the kids.

How was your Halloween?

This post was totally powered by Delsym and a wicked fever.

*your Google Reader can also send me diamonds and other precious stones to thank me for NOT signing up for NaBloWhatever, that daily posting thing that runs through the month of November. Because, obviously.

151 thoughts on “The Halloweenier Strikes Back

    1. My reader will totally thank you when I don’t post posts that say, “Nothing happened today, but I remembered it was NaBloWhatever so I had to put something up, so here’s something.”

      Your Reader will take care of the diamonds, I know it.

  1. Ohmygosh
    I am soo in love w/ your daughter in that pink skellington outfit.
    SSOOOOO in love.
    All I did was dress up my kid as the Red Teletubby.
    Then after that, it was ALLL princesses…. Hey, you do end up sometimes 1/2 winning… 2 years ago, she let me make her a DEAD PRINCESS, complete with Carrie-style covered blood!!!!

    1. That’s pretty rad. I look forward to the Dead Princess phase. Although I’m guessing Mimi will probably want to be a train conductor which will make me unable to buy the frilly stuff I so desperately want to buy and then I will cry.

  2. I love the weenie! And the pink skeleton costume – I will die of the cute!

    Anyway, I’m a lurker, finally commenting, because I have something relevant to your post today! Mine was a ghost (wtf, of all the costumes, but it made him happy) and I actually got some cool pics of him (on my blog, linked above).

    Long live Pseudoephedrine (sp?) and other OTC hallucination-inducing drugs. Feel better soon!

  3. Feel better. Eat more candy, that should do the trick. The Ninja rocks. Get ready, from what I understand, the next step for boys are those gory masks with the handheld pumps that ooze blood. With girls, all you have to tussle over are the mass produced slutty costumes. No worries this year for us. They were all pirate girls and superheroes. The days of pink princesses seem to be over. Big sigh. And speaking of…that pink flower is eat-her-up delicious. Oy Vey, those eyelashes!

  4. “because the flash is bothering his wee eyes. Delicate flower, that one.” AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

    Dude, you have the most beautiful kids!!! And Ben? What a sweetheart to ask for candy for Alex. Seriously, that makes me tear up a little.

    Feel better soon honey!

  5. feel better!!! or else. bwa ha ha

    also- wish we had the skelly-ton costume without feet. W was rocking an awesome hand me down made for a much shorter and fatter baby.

  6. too too cute! my kids would not even be bribed for pics this year, but the hubby…there is a little wee girl just like yours who is probably deathly afraid of firefighters now because of him and his costume.

    1. Amelia is a bit of a scareful one, I admit. She’s not too keen on strangers, especially men, and Alex is more wary than not.

      Ben, however, is the kid I worry about driving off in a car with a stranger who fed him a line about candy or something. He has no fear.

  7. aw, cuteness! Your ninja is awesome, very cool. And the littles? Adorable! Good for you for not forcing the costume, Monkey Boy would not wear them nor look at anyone wearing them until after 3, so maybe next year for Alex!

  8. Love the skelly ton costumes. My little Clone Troopers did quite well this year at the high school trunk or treat. I only had to say “Say Thank you” about 2/3 of the time which is a new record I believe.

    That is an awesome ninja costume btw. I can see why you paid for it

    1. The costume was really, really nice and when he got it on, I was suddenly less grumpy about it not looking like what I thought a ninja costume was supposed to look like.


      I am a terrible boy mom, I’m learning.

  9. Your anklebiters are all super cute, but damn that is one adorable little girl. It’s sooooo much fun having a girl after two boys, isn’t it? I thought so too, until mine turned three and started throwing all her beautiful dresses and hairbows back at me in a fit of rage because she wanted to wear jeans and boots like her brothers. Sigh.

  10. the kids? reeedunk-q-losly cute

    and WEIRD

    I had a bastard hedgehog too! His name was Chester. The asshole tunneled into my bathroom wall. My roommate and I had to bust a hole in the wall and poke at him until he came back out.. then I stuffed an empty astroglide box in teh hole and spackled over it. The landlord NEVER KNEW

  11. The Halloweenier – totally best baby costume ever.
    Sitting at my desk, laughing out loud, trying to pretend I am actually working!

  12. The weiner dog wins it!!

    (and I know you know this, but chocolate is really bad for migraine suffers. This message brought to you by my fat ass)

  13. my son was supposed to be a ghost. then…a skeleton. the…a red ninja.
    let’s not discuss how many costumes i suckingly bought this year.

  14. This year was the first year in eleventy-billion that we were invited to an ADULT Halloween party. My kids are older now and don’t need me to take them trick or treating and all the kids in our neighborhood have either defected to Thornwood or grown too old to come beg good chocolate from me so we had a total of 2! kids at our door.

    But alas I was not able to enjoy any of it because I got the little piglet flu from my 16 year old on Saturday morning. So she and I spent the evening moaning on the couch and pouting because we missed our favorite night of the year.

    Question: should I save the Miley/Billy Ray costumes husband and I were going to wear for next year?

  15. Some of my 20-something friends still dress as ninjas!

    I was the Black Dahlia. One really drunk girl knew what I was. It was sort of disappointing. But not too bad.

  16. I love your kids, they are so freaking adorable.

    I hope you feel better.

    And you reminded me I didn’t check my kids candy for needles and shit.


  17. HOW CUTEEEE!!!

    I absolutely love all of the costumes, but the Halloweiner is my favorite. I am telling you, Im seriously thinking about having kids just so I can dress them up. I just need to find a boyfriend….

  18. You don’t need me to tell you how friggin adorable your kids are but…., you kids are so friggin adorable!!!! I hope you feel better soon!! And that NaPoBlowupmygooglereader thing is of the devil. I don’t have time to blog for reading all these friggin posts.

  19. A Halloweiner !! Oh that is like the cutest costume ever. Really. And Ben? His ninja costumes is BAD ASS, seriously. Your scouring of the 121 ninja costumes available on The Internet paid off.

    Hope that H1N1 goes away soon! Not cool to be all fevered and Delsymed Up.

  20. Very cute photos!

    My son, who chooses not to talk on a regular basis, thought it was just fine to show the entire neighborhood that I’m a liar and that he does talk. As soon as he’d see a porch light he would say “Trick or treat” over and over again until he made it to the person with the candy and loudly say it again until they put something in his bucket, then he’d say “Thank You!” So, my guess is that my son only talks one day a year and that day is Halloween.

    He also thought it would be a good idea to push someone inside their house after they gave him candy. He’s TWO years old and pushing some little old lady back into her house so he could shut her screen door. Goofy kid.

    I had a blast though….one person on our street gave out full size candy bars!!! Another person sat out a big bucket of candy and was nowhere to be seen. Brave family~~ We only took one piece……….

    1. We had significant less trick-or-treaters than we’ve had in previous years, but it was wonderful fun anyway. Thankfully, we got rid of anything I would have actually eaten.

      Alex also tried to go into a couple of houses. I yoinked him back. Thankfully.

  21. I don’t get ninja’s either. I did score a wickedly cool ninja-like knife for the 12 year old at Target. I got an “AWE-SOME” when I took at out of the package. Yay me. The 9 year old was a sexy, sassy, candy hoarding Cleopatra. Marc Anthony would not have know what to do with this one.

    Feel better. The Internet will shut down without you.

  22. See now, I want to be a Ninja. Not for Halloween, I mean for real. Because then I would be able to kick the ass of those people who annoy me, and that would be awesome. But apparently, one has to train really hard and work at being a Ninja, and I don’t have that kind of motivation. Plus the outfit is just odd.

    Where was I going with this again?

    Oh yeah. The kids are adorable and I hope you get better soon, darling Becks.

  23. We had a ton of ninjas at our house this year. I don’t get it. Except that ninjas kick ass. Other than that, I really don’t get it. I think aliens are way scarier.

    (I also have a fever)

  24. next year, i am totally going to make a me-sized hedgehog costume, because that would be made of awesome. (heck, i might just make it now, ‘cuz friday nights at my house are kind boring now….)

  25. What is with the pansy drugs?? No wonder your sick ass doesn’t feel any better. And, um, are you aware that there’s a commenter up there who “wants to eat your behbehs”???? And you think you’re sick…..

  26. Shit! I just looked at my reader and saw that I haven’t read EIGHT of your posts! I’ve been in hell, but it sounds like you’re right there with me!! Love the costumes! I especially love the pink skelly. I want that for myself. In jammy form.

  27. Soooo how many kids do you have??? It is no wonder you need Vodka!

    My vice of choice is tequila and boy did I need it on Halloween with my three boys racing laps around the block. 278 pieces of candy later, each, I am going to suffer the long haul with this one. It gets so much worse the older and faster they get!

    Love the costumes and sorry that you are sick.

    PS – how do you find the time to read all of your comments?

    1. I have more kids than I can count. Which is why I need vodka.

      And my comments are what keep me going. I crochet them into wall hangings every night after the kids are in sleeping.

  28. A) Delsym does NOTHING for me. I feel very ripped off.

    2. Who the HELL mistakes that hedgie costume for a rat?!?

    – I think your children could probably get away with going as The Cutest Kids in the World for Halloween (no costume necessary).

  29. Sucks that your sick. hope you get better soon.

    The kids are adorable. I actually thought the hot dog picture was Amelia! They look the same as babies. too cute.

  30. OK, you have to enter that hotdog one in the contest. You owe it to my daughter who entered YOUR contest.

    (See? 18 years of Catholicism has taught me the power of the guilt.)

  31. I don’t think I’d get the hedgehog thing either.

    The kids are very cute in their costumes, although I think the skeletons should be everyday wear!

    Feel better soon – my daughter seems to have the same thing you have. I expect I’ll get it soon.

  32. Totally awesome! I LOVED the skeleton costume for Mimi on facebook, and it rocks that Alex had one too. I’m sorry the festivities were dampened by your illness and I hope it disappears overnight!!

  33. Those costumes are awesome! I swear your kids get cuter with every photo. Sorry that you’re sick. Feel better soon, but then don’t tell anybody that you’re feeling better. Milk it, baby, milk it.

      1. I’d be there in a heartbeat, if I could. Ben and Cheeks can boss Alex and Cenzo around, while I make you soup and smooch Amelia incessantly. I’m talented like that. I can smooch cute baby cheeks and stir soup at the same time. Jealous, aren’t you?

  34. My kids failed to score me any 100 Grand bars. I’m tempted to send them back out door-to-door for them, even though trick-or-treat is over, until someone finally caves and buys them a bag to bring home for me just to get them off their doorsteps!

    Also, I’m basically enjoying a glass of Delsym every morning with my tasty peanut butter slathered toast.

    1. I find the orange Delsym is rather tasty, actually. The trails it produces as a side effect is a bonus. Let’s hope neither of us look like Lil Wayne after we’re done. Apparently he chugs the shit.

  35. Thanks for your comment on my blog, and for absolving me of First Holiday pressure (kind of like Losing Your Virginity pressure or Must Be Festive On New Year’s pressure). From you, oh Mom of Moms, it’s like getting a dispensation from a priest.

    1. If I had a scanner, I’d show you JUST HOW HAPPY MY SON WAS on his first Halloween. And by “happy” I mean that he screamed. I didn’t dress up PERIOD and he screamed the whole time.

      We dress up the small kids for the big ones, FYI. They’re the ones that care.

  36. My little niece had the same pink skeleton costume. So cute. Your kids are just freakin adorable. Do just smooch them all day? I hope you feel better soon.

  37. Ninja = Awesome.
    I’m still mad at my mom because when I was like 7 I wanted to be Batman for Halloween & she wouldn’t let me because I was a girl So I went as a princess or something else equally as nauseating. Yes, still mad.

  38. Yeah– our halloween was not all that… rained both days we could have gone trick or treating and we missed the halloween party…. Boo.. litterally.

  39. The costumes are SO cute! A pink skelly-ton! Sorry Alex was a bit of a pain in the ass. Maybe he’ll be more fun next year?

    Our Halloween was great! Took the kids to a bunch of different blocks and then I let Nae go trick or treating around our block with her friends. ACK! That was hard, but she did well! And I did too 😀

    Hope you feel better soon, love!

  40. So, the skelling-ton costumes?! TOTALLY AWESOME. You made my day by putting your precious delicate flowers in them (my major in school was anthropology – my keystone course? Human Osteology…I love me some bones). And I love the hedgehog costume. Love it.

    And ninjas? Completely awesome. I’m with your eldest on this one – they’re the shiz.

  41. I love all those costumes! The hot dog is the best!!

    My Halloween, eh, it was OK. It just seems like more and more people are coming to watch the festivities, which is great because I know my daugher loves it. And most years, so do I. But this year was different. Not sure why??

  42. Those costumes are freaking adorable, the hedgehog in particular–though of course, the kids are all equally adorable, even mr. scary ninja, because even ninjas aren’t scare when they’re less than about 12 and therefore scary all the time.

    I had a fireman (second year in a row) and a Batman (homemade costume, and god bless him for wearing it). I’ll try to get pictures up, but I’m still proud of myself for getting them out the door for trick-or-treating and two separate parties, not counting the Cub Scouts one that I didn’t know was supposed to be a party. I’m the best Scout mom ever!

  43. Getting caught up. We had our own Halloween House of Horrors. Also known as the flu. Possibly H1N1. All around. Well, all except me. I handed out candy. Everyone else stayed far away from the candy. Mommy’s orders. My son wore his Optimus Prime costume all of 5 minutes so we could take pics. Oddly enough he wasn’t that whiny about not being able to go trick or treating. That’s how I knew he was really sick.

    Now I’ve got the germs.

  44. i was totally going to leave you a comment yesterday, but my *super-excellent* *husband* (said with gritted teeth) closed the window before i finished writing it and my witticisms were lost..lost forever!

    mimi is a very adorable Skele-tubby, but i like the flower girl more. she looks ginormous, almost like the daver (if that indeed is the daver and not some Unknown Male Relative) can barely hold her.

    i have only this to say of the halloweenier: “my hot dog has a first name, it’s B-E-C-K-Y..”

    and the ninja? ben has definitely mastered the Ninja Death Glare of Death, which will come in very handy for him once he is a teenager. get used to it, i’m sure you’ll see it again many times.

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