It’s bad enough that it happens at blogging conferences: you’re standing there, minding your own business, talking to a friend, when out of nowhere, someone in comfortable sneakers and a blazer with shoulder pads comes up to you and before you know it, they’ve dumped their business cards into your drinks and scampered off, in search of their next victim.
The drive-by social networker strikes again.
Now, I have approximately a bazillion business cards. I intend to pass them out or use as coasters, whichever the case may be. But while I may hand you my card, it will be after we’ve had a conversation, perhaps a drink together. The drinks are optional. The business cards are EXTRA optional.
Because when you’re at a blogging conference? Everyone has business cards. And no one wants them in their drinks.
Perhaps I will create a bubble around myself to avoid drinking my vodka/diet with a side of your business card. That’s not to say I don’t want your card; I just don’t want it thrust into my hand while I try to check into the hotel with my bags freaking everywhere.
Maybe I’m just bitter.
In the past week alone, I’ve gotten at least twenty DM’s from The Twitter, and while I eagerly open them, humming and perhaps dancing the White Girl Booty Shuffle because, “I HAVE AN EMAIL MOTHERFUCKERS,” I’m shocked and saddened by it’s contents.
Instead of saying, “Hi Becky, let’s be friends,” or “Hi Becky, I’m sending you a cat that shoots REAL LASERS FROM IT’S EYES,” it’s this.
“Thanks for the follow. Check us out on Facebook (insert link to crappy company)”
“Thanks for the follow, hope you read my blog (url).”
That’s not very friendly. In fact, that’s beyond impersonal.
MOST people I know unfollow after receiving automated DM’s because they hate The Drive By Social Networker as much (more) than I do. I, on the other hand, am lazy and have decided to plot my revenge upon them.
I’m simply going to start DMing them every time I have to take a poo, eat a sandwich, go to Target, and every other mundane thing people say on The Twitter. I’ll be as personal as I wanna be. Then, I’ll direct them BACK to my blog so they can “read more.”
Perhaps then, they’ll rethink their drive-by networking strategy. AND learn about my toileting habits in the process.
This will be a total win!