I’m a terrible patient. Really, I am.

I always have these grand visions of myself in a wheelchair, snuggled sadly into the couch insisting that my husband minister to my bedsores every single hour. Maybe I could even start moaning while I breathe, just for effect. If I were a good patient, I’d never for a moment allow anyone to forget that I was sick or hurt or whatever, and dominate any and all conversations with lengthy descriptions of my bowel movements and sputum.

It would be AWESOME.

But no, here I sit on the couch where I am supposed to be “resting” and bored out of my mind. I don’t sit around quietly well, never have, and I prefer to buzz around the house like a chubby bumblebee taking care of all the wonderful things my family leaves just for me! They’re thoughtful like that.

I’m.so.bored.it.hurts.

Normally my cure for boredom is a drink and some online shopping (if I’m stuck in the house) but I don’t even have anything to look for. So I’m stuck sitting here, my foot looking hugely pregnant and kind of scary and trying to forget that I am pregnant, too. Not with (I hope) a Foot Baby.

I’ve managed pretty well to ignore being pregnant because if I think about it I worry, and the last thing I need is to worry myself in circles. Worrying is useless. Kind of like sitting around like a slug. Useless.

So Internet, oh sweet Internet, what the hell should I do while I heal?

Comments = full of the awesome. Like gravy. I can haz an RSS RSS feed .

24 Responses to The Boredom is Breathtaking

  • Vered says:

    Oh, that’s too easy.

    READ BLOGS.

    :)

  • rachel says:

    I’d say catch up on NCLM.

    Feel better soon!

  • LAS says:

    I know what you mean about not sitting still – I don’t just sit around well either. I don’t have any great suggestions – shop online for things you don’t need, read blogs…lots of blogs…I don’t know – but I wish you a speedy recovery!

  • Heather says:

    Surely you could online shop for accessories — they are ALWAYS the right size. I’m seeing some Coach, maybe some Burberry. You see why a foot injury would be the death of me, right?

  • mrs.spit says:

    Take up stamp collecting.

    Stalk the guy who stalked you

    Look up all your worst enemies on facebook. Bonus points if you leave rude messages on their wall.

    Get a job selling ice to eskimo’s. Or Vinyl siding.

    Take up knitting garments for barbie dolls.

    Whittle your own life time supply of toothpicks.

    Solve the problem of wold peace.

    Develop a new programming language in base 7.

    Become a world class spammer.

    Start farming the worms that they put in the tequila bottle.

    That should be enough to get you started?

  • Lola says:

    If you’re like me, you have tons of photos packed away anywhere you can shove them, so start putting them in albums. Now, I’m not talking scrapbooking. That’s a lot of money and pressure to be creative, just plain old photo albums. You’ll be glad you did.

    If you are super organized and have already done that, then blog, paint your fingernails and toenails on your giant foot and sleep. You now have an excuse to sleep, so take it!

  • kalakly says:

    Rent the whole series of Weeds and watch it and then watch all of Sex and the C*ty and then maybe tackle the whole of Fri8nds?? If you have to be sitting you may as well have something good to watch….of course if those don’t do it for you, you could always go for a porn marathon:)

    I hope the foot preggo disappears soon and the other one continues to grow.

    If you get really bored I’ll be up late doing a video montage for one of the wee ones classes, feel free to text me, I’ll need help staying up!

  • bri says:

    “Foot Baby.”

    BWA HA HA HA HA!

  • Kyddryn says:

    Macrame a couch cozy.

    Crochet a new car.

    Knit socks for a squid.

    Paint the faces of the saints on apple seeds.

    Drill holes in your toenail clippings and make scale-mail out of them.

    Sign everyone you can’t stand up for mailing lists counter to their preferences or mores – place Democrats on the Republican mailing list and vice versa, order porn catalogs for prudes, and sign people up for expensive magazine subscriptions with the “bill me later” option.

    Start acting out a long, tedious, pointless play using couch cushions as locations and bits of lint for characters – bonus points if you can make every character have a funny voice AND remember which character is which.

    Make up new words and start inserting them into your vocabulary without explaining them to anyone. See who catches on fastest.

    Hurry the heck up and heal.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

  • Kristen says:

    Wow, you have such funny readers!
    I am really not all that imaginative. I could give you digital storybooking lessons if you like, but that is all I got.
    I hope you are better soon.

  • b says:

    make up songs and sing them to the animals..that’s what I do. sometimes, they don’t run away.

  • Josh Hawkins says:

    I can tell you what many do when bored, and let me tell you, after the fifth time that day, it’s still fun. Trust me here.

  • Ames says:

    Perhaps you need a good book or two to read? That’s what occupied my time during 4 weeks of bed rest in my last pregnancy… books and pointless daytime tv… oh yeah, those were the days.

    Heal up soon my love!

  • birdpress says:

    Find some prison pen pals. They are probably bored too.

    I hope you feel better today. Hey, it’s Sunday; you should get the NY Times, or a local paper. Let the news depress you and then read the comics to cheer you up!

  • giggleblue says:

    arrange your favorite’s list on your browser.

  • mandy says:

    Your POOR ankle! I HATE that bored feeling. I just hate sitting here with nothing to do. I love having something to hunt for online.

    I think one thing you can do is to find some stuff to sell on ebay. Tracking it can take up some time. Other than that, have someone bring you a great book. I just read one that I couldn’t put down and I will gladly send it if you want. E-mail me with your address. It’s used of course, so some of the pages are all bendy from me trying to get through a book while I have two toddlers and a time demanding DH. So, like every other page has been folded. :)

  • Leslee says:

    I have no idea what you should do. I tend to read anything I can get my hands on (books, blogs, shampoo bottles) when I’m bored, but reading can become pretty boring sometimes, too.

    Mainly, I wanted to comment to let you know that you can NOT be that image of the perfect pt that you described cuzz you are not yet of the OLD persuassion. (And I probably spelled that wrong) When you’re geriatric THEN you can be that perfect pt and you will have a captive audience to listen to the tales of your poo. Or maybe just a tired nurses aide. :-)

  • pamajama says:

    Books & movies, movies & books.

    Quite often life purposely makes us slow down just at the moment it needs to happen. Sit, sit, sit. Make phone calls. Eat.

    It’s too frigging hot outside, anyway.

    Sit, Becky, sit.

  • Jerseygirl89 says:

    I always fantasize about “having” to rest for some reason and then when it happens I just sit there and daydream about all the stuff I could be doing.

    So, er, I got no suggestions. Except renting the all the complete seasons of Friday Night Lights and Rescue Me.

  • Emily R says:

    Should you give birth to a foot baby, I want to see pictures.

    Hope you are hobbling about soon.

  • DD says:

    Oh sure, you know the best ways to comment whore – fall down some steps. Ack!!

    Why not take advantage of doing NOTHING while you heal except boss everyone around.

    Actually, I take advantage of my vegetative state by scanning pictures into my computer. Tedious, but has to be done.

  • tash says:

    Do you do soccer? Wanna try? Euro-cup, Group of death is on right now as I type on ESPN. Nice looking guys with great legs kicking a ball around. Try it.

  • A Soldier's Girl says:

    Thank God for the internet!?! How did people survive boredom or even life for that matter before it?

  • Kristine says:

    I was all “you could….” and “you could….” And everything I came up with are things that I do sitting down for the most part but that also require some moving around – which sucks.

    I uh…discovered this weekend that my son’s scrapbook had less than a month’s worth of pictures in it. So I uploaded a bazillion pictures and had them printed and kind of half ass put them in the scrapbook. So that’s something to do, you know if you’re an equally forgetful mother who ignored the pictures you have taken since the birth of your child.

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