“No, Alex! Say Dada, Dadadadadada!”
“NO Alex! Say Ben, Benbenbenbenben!”
“NO Alex, say Mamamamama!”
No thanks to my mother, who at the time when I was a (oops!) baby worked on the dangerous/criminal floor of the nearby mental instituition, my first word was “Fuck,” which is still one of my favorite words ever (followed closely by “googley” which just cracks me up. Say it out loud, all drawn out….hilarity!). I said it in front of my highly conservative grandmother, which left my mother stammering, red-faced and embarrassed to explain that what I had ACTUALLY said was “Duck.”
Ben’s first word was “Tock-tock” after the grandfather clock that he spent many hours as a baby, walker abutting it, staring at in wonderment (is that a word?), oogling the pendulum and it’s constant back and forth movement.
Dave, my guess, first said something wholesome or another like “Christian” or “Crusader.” It’s purely speculation on my own part, but as the phrase goes, if the shoe fits…
Poor Alex, with all of us desperately vying for our names to be his first word, is going to grow up thinking that all of our names are “NOMommy,” “NOBen” and “NODaddy.” I think that we all need a new hobby.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to press the Play button on the tape player in his bedroom to try and tap into his subconsciousness. What is on the tape, you ask? Oh, nothing, really… okay, it’s just an audiotape of myself saying “Mommy” over and over again.
I turn the tables on YOU, dear reader, what was YOUR first word? (and if it’s a good enough story/word, I’ll send you an awesome prize (because who DOESN’T like mail?)…and no, it’s not an autographed picture of myself).