Comments on: The Aftermath

By: If Babies are Narcotics, I’ve Taken an Overdose | Two Wishes

If Babies are Narcotics, I’ve Taken an Overdose | Two Wishes — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 22:12:46 +0000

[...] now on, no more “baby narcotic” articles for me. I’ll be reading things like the comments to this post — gaining strength from other mothers who adore their children but acknowledge that sometimes [...]

By: Günstige Ersatzteile

Günstige Ersatzteile — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 21:38:20 +0000

As a parent of a premie who dodged more bullets than she deserved…

Everything is gonna be okay. *pat, pat*

Until then…I’m all for vodka and vicodin!

By: Claire Gregory

Claire Gregory — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:21:42 +0000

Got caught up wallowing in my own self-pity and forgot to say- one book has really helped me when Sophie hits her pissed-at-the-world stages- it’s called Wonder Weeks.

http://www.thewonderweeks.com/

Basically babies go through neurological growth spurts the same way they do physical growth spurts. When they hit a period of brain growth they become angry little sleepless monsters for a few weeks. It’s been accurate to the day for us- it’s like these people are hiding in my roof space.

I am about to put that on my Amazon account. Thank you.

By: Claire Gregory

Claire Gregory — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:05:10 +0000

I’ve got my own NICU, brain trouble at birth miracle baby who does not sleep at all unless attached to my boob- last night she woke up every 45 minutes from 10pm to 10am. In between that and my husband snoring like a chainsaw I got to sleep (for my first 45 minutes) at 5:30am. And I’m already on zombie mode. The next lawnmower dude who knocks on my door during naptime, invited or not, is going to have his testicles removed with a baby spoon.

I’m SO familiar with the guilt, though. When Sophie was in the NICU she was in a coma for five days and woke up making no more noise than little whimpers- I used to stand next to her and beg her to cry. Ahh, hindsight. I can’t bring myself to cry it out with her because of everything we went through- but then again I’m rapidly running out of other ideas now she’s 9 months old and waking up more than ever.

You’re not alone!

Do you ever kind of want to stab those smugly superior people who just KNOW that the reason that THEIR child slept through the night was because of their PARENTING skills? GAH.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 13:45:15 +0000

Oh, Becky, I’m so sorry. I kind of, but not really, know what you’re dealing with. I tried to hard to keep a pregnancy, that when I had Jocelyn, it was like a freaking miracle. Months later, when you’re tired and you’re miracle baby is acting like a regular whiny kid, you forget the struggle and just wish for peace in a “trying not to scream at you because you are a tiny helpless baby but please why do are you doing this to me” way. And then the guilt. Because you’re losing it and you’re the one who was begging for this baby only a short time before.

I get it. In my way. But I couldn’t fathom having thoughts that there was something actually wrong with my child and have them be realistic. That was wordy, but you see where I’m going with this. You are unbelievably strong. A trooper, even.

So are you, my love. So are you.

By: Jenn

Jenn — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 01:39:14 +0000

I remember the guilt with Boo. I didn’t even have the double-guilt situation but it was still hard. I would come and hold her for you if I could so that you could get a break, some sleep. Being a mom is sucktastic sometimes.

Oh, I remember the Boo/Alex debacle. It was really, really hard.

By: Alicia

Alicia — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 18:12:49 +0000

Hugs to you, Aunt Becky. Babies are mean. I think they’ve evolved to be as cute as they are so we don’t leave them on the doorstop of the fire department.

You’re absolutely right. Puppies too.

By: fiddle1

fiddle1 — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 15:29:39 +0000

I HEAR you. I UNDERSTAND. So totally understand. I’m sorry for this rough day and all the future ones when you’ll not only be frustrated with Mimi, but roaring pissed at her, and then all the guilt comes crashing down on you. I love you. You are normal. This is normal. THANK YOU for being honest about this. Thanks for no rainbows and butteflies. Thanks for telling it like it is. I hope for some refreshing sleep for you…and for Amelia.

I wonder if we could somehow all remove the guilt. Like it was a tumor or something.

Thank you. Thank you for listening.

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Sat, 29 Aug 2009 05:09:11 +0000

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By: Kendra

Kendra — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 23:10:43 +0000

I’m so sorry. I realize that I’m so blessed never to have had this kind of worry for my kids, but we’ve had pretty run-of-the-mill scares (my middle one fell down the basements stairs at 11 months old; that was an awful one), and I know what they did to me. As the parent of a child who started her life worrying for her, I can’t imagine how hard it is. And at the same time, the resentment. There are moments where I think, no matter their age or developmental stage or the problem they’re going through, “Just grow up! We all have problems! Learn to live with… teething pain, your brother called you a baby, you didn’t get to play your video game,” whatever it is. And I feel like an awful person for not being consumed by their pain, however valid or ridiculous it is.

When Ezra was born, he was really colicky and cranky. He was our second child, and I’d never tried to balance the needs of siblings before, aside from the fact that my oldest had been a really easy baby, nothing like this little screaming machine. So when he was really being difficult and my 2-year-old was having trouble understanding why this baby was in our house making everyone’s life so hard, sometimes we would announce, “That’s it! This baby is too loud and cranky. We’re going to have to take him back to the baby store and get a new one.” And then we would all be able, just for a moment, to laugh. It helped to remember, no matter how upsetting he was, that we still wouldn’t trade him. I still think that to myself sometimes: That’s it, we’re taking this one back to the baby store. And it still helps.