Some days, I really wish that I was a dude, and no, not just so that I could write my name in pee in the snow (I have a feeling the “y” would be the hardest thing to get out there, but this is neither here nor there). I’m not trying to be all dramatical and like, oh em GE, Internet, I HATE women, I’m ONLY friends with men because that’s SO missing the point.
But seriously, I think that men have something on women when it comes to dealing with (quote, unquote) issues. You pop each other in the jaw, then you shake hands and have a beer: it’s done.
I only wish that this was the way that I could solve things. It beats the shit out of talking behind each others’ back, playing fake nicey-nicey at social events and commenting passive-aggressively about each other on Facebook.
(Status Update: Of course you’re “Hermione” because you’re bookish and annoying.)
It seems that no matter how hard I try to bring issues, problems and misgivings out into the open, nobody wants to address them. Suddenly, I can’t pin them down, or they respond in an equally passive-aggressive manner. Working on solving anything (including things that *I* have done and am ready to own and apologize for) becomes as easy as nailing jello to the wall.
So rather than actually resolving and moving past, it’s a clusterfcuk of swirling undertows whenever I see these people. Better not bring up this or that; best shut your mouth and smile kindly. Because bringing up your flakiness or my aggression or that you hate me and yet stalk my blog simply won’t do.
(because we all know stalking someone is just another way to say “I hate you,” right?)
I lost one of my best friends before I got married. She simply stopped returning my phone calls, emails, or the phone calls of anyone else in the bridal party. This was the way she handled conflict, I knew this beforehand, but I had hoped that our friendship meant more to her than just cutting me off.
I still don’t know what I did, but I wish that I’d had the ability to at the very least defend myself, apologize for whatever I’d taken a crap on, and parted ways on better terms. Then, 4.5 years later, I wouldn’t be stuck wondering. I still consider sending her a Christmas Card every year, and maybe that’s just what I should do, because what do I have to lose?
Maybe this will be the year that I reach out again. Or maybe I won’t. 50 million Tibetan Monks don’t give a shit.
Maybe I just need to work on my sucker punch and call it a freaking day. Besides, being punched in the face would give me a good excuse to have a drink**.
How do you handle conflict?
**WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?!