Sadly, it is my duty to report to you that I am still pregnant. Sadly for my feet and mental status. The baby seems perfectly happy sitting pretty in her watery home. I, of course, am not so happy.

I have an excellent story for you all, but in between icing my feet and trying to prepare my house for this baby, it’s going to have to wait. I guess the advantage of being a first-time parent is that you might have actually prepared something in advance, whereas we, well, haven’t. I have a bunch of baby stuff and yet she has nowhere set up to sleep.

Kinda like me!

I have an MD appointment on Monday to discuss induction and cervixes and stuff, and I’ve been loading up on Evening Primrose Oil up the pooter in addition to making Daver have what can only be called Mercy Sex. But if Monday is anything like the 3 days I spent in the hospital, I’ll get absolutely nowhere quickly. So my hopes aren’t exactly sky-high.

Be back soon with my promised story.

21 thoughts on “Sometimes You’re The Weasel, Sometimes You’re The Monkey

  1. Ah, the world of baby girls. My daughter stayed put despite 3 days of induction(well, ok, 2 and a half, but how was I supposed to know the on call doc was a guy I went to college with, a nerdy type who had a huge crush on me back in the day and then one night drowned his sorrows in a bottle of tequila and we ended up calling the paramedics and making his future wife, NOT ME, stay up all night with him while he puked his guts out on the dorm floor, suffice it to say this was not the man I was going to let deliver my child much less finally get his long desired peek at my privates! So they had to stop my already day old induction while he was on duty, put me in a regular room and them restart my induction the next morining, because I said no fucking way is he sticking his fingers up my nether parts every hour to check my dialation progress) and after the stress of all of that, my daughter said I am perfectly fine where I am and she came out on her own time 2 weeks later.
    And that’s how I learned you could actually fail at induction. Lucky me.

    I’m sure Amelia will be much more cooperative for you, right?


  2. Poor Becky, your misery is palpable. I think they should just stick you (or me in the last trimester) in a medically induced coma until she’s ready. Not fun, not fun at ALL. Boo hiss, big obstetrical practice, on you.

  3. My cervix never did do jack crap in way of preparing for the baby, and my doctor while presented induction as an option said the failure rate is higher in someone who shows no signs of being ready in any way shape or form….so I was told I could wait a while longer and see what nature wanted to do, I could try induction if I wanted but to brace myself for a long few days, or i could schedule a c-section……..i went the latter route, and I have NEVER regretted it. EASY PEASY

  4. The rumor is that my mom was induced, not intentionally mind you, through oral sex. I’d recommend trying that. Tell Daver I say “Howdy” while you’re at it.

  5. OHH- Good point Jenn! Get yourself to the baby store and get that poor baby girl a bed, and various pink bedding to go with. Maybe then she will decide to show herself.

  6. keep up with the mercy sex. It’ll do a body good.
    Good luck, hang on, she’s almmooostttt here. Thinking of you and checking every hour on ya!

  7. I swear by EPO. My first had been a c-section since he was “sunny-side up” and never really dropped. I planned to try a VBAC for my 2nd. On the due date I was 1cm dilated and he had not dropped. A week after the due date (July! St Louis!) the OB’s brow was clouded and she was waffling on the VBAC. I was 44 and she was nervous. I asked to wait another 2 days to give him a chance to come on his own. Went home and inserted EPO.

    I went directly into hard labor 5 hours later; 2 hrs and 10 minutes afterward I was holding baby in my arms.

    Though I don’t recommend the hard fast labor I do wish you great results with EPO.

    Good luck!

    Oh, P.S. If you’re still nursing your (now) youngest, I swear by that too.

  8. Obviously the little Aquarius also wants to be born in the Chinese Year of the Ox, not the Year of the Rat, which is just ending.
    I’m out of ideas. I suggested you and Dave doing the nasty weeks ago. It’s obviously not working for you…
    I can’t believe you don’t have a Pack and Play for her to sleep in? If not, pull some stuff out of a bureau drawer, and line it with a few blankets – it will buy you some time.
    Have you tried making up a song called Amelia – to the tune of the Paul Simon song Cecilia and singing to her? -“Amelia, I’m down on my knees, I’m begging you please, come out?”
    Good luck!

  9. If I lived closer, I would TOTALLY come over and help you set everything up while you relax and ice those feet. Seriously, I would be honored.

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