i had the traditional chinese food dinner because that’s what all of us jews do for christmas
wishing you and your family a wonderful holiday season.
xoxo

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 12:16 pm

That’s because Jews are awesome and so is Chinese food. We had it last night, too.

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i think christmas would be fun with kids! i would want to make gingerbread houses.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 12:23 pm

Gingerbread houses are awesome. And so is playing with the toys. I swear, Dave and I have had as much (if not MORE) fun with the toys than the kids have. Ha.

Come on by for Christmas next year. You can make the houses with them.

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Burnt steaks, rolls that didn’t raise and perfectly done baked potatoes, ah Christmas.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Now that actually sounds freaking DELICIOUS. nom nom nom nom.

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Ha! How did that cyclonic actions work on the Daver’s scrotum??

Christmas for us was filled with few presents, but so many blessings neither Cam nor I noticed, and honestly? It doesn’t get any better than that!

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 12:37 pm

I think that this is all that you needed for Christmas. So glad that you had all that you needed.

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So glad Christmas is over too!

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 12:37 pm

It was awesome and now I’m glad to be done with it.

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lego star wars IS full of the awesome!

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 12:36 pm

It’s the ONLY video game that I’ll play, and I freaking LOOOVE it.

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Paul Lundgren Reply:
December 28th, 2009 at 10:28 am

All three Lego video games are terrific, but the Indiana Jones game is a first-class hoot.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 28th, 2009 at 10:38 pm

My son looooves that one. It’s pretty fun, but it’s HARD! Holy shit, it’s hard. Probably because I kind of suck at video games.

Oh man, I am so glad this shit is over. I’m sorry you’re migrained. Xanax and leftover alcoholic eggnog should do the trick.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:25 pm

Vicodin made me happy. So did blogging. Yay!

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Husband’s first Christmas with *my* family.
{One Mom. One Step-Dad. Two teenage sisters. One adult brother (via phone). One adult step-brother. Three teenage step-sisters. One teenage step-brother. One pre-teen stepsister. Two boyfriends. One sick cat. One needy dog. Me.}

Somehow, Ryan (husband) did ALL of the cooking – so people didn’t bug him too much since he was busy in the kitchen.

Gifts were small and thoughtful. (Homemade Christmas sweaters with felt and glitter, Sketch books, and Mad Libs.)

Happy Holidays.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:25 pm

That sounds like a hell of a fun time to me. Merry Christmas to you!

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We just threw all the cardboard and plastic off the porch into the front yard.

Wait. Is that bad? How can it be bad if it feels SO GOOD???

I worked Christmas Day – I was here for the morning, and then, just when they started whining about freeing their new toys from the bullet-proof packaging, wheeee it was time for me to leave for my shift ! I left my husband running in circles in the cul de sac, pushing the little one around in her new bike, while the 9 year old was attempting to blow up Mentos with a 2 liter of soda.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:25 pm

I remember how happy I always was to leave for work when I worked on the holidays. People were always like, “oh that’s SAD that you’re working on Thanksgiving” and I was all, “uh, not so much.”

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I have 13 people coming to my house tomorrow for brunch and a family Yankee Swap. And then sticking around to watch the Pats game. Christmas will never end. Although I did manage to make a pretty much perfect prime rib for Christmas dinner and made Bordelaise sauce from scratch that took all day. And now I can spend the whole day today cleaning the house for the onslaught tomorrow. Shoot me.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:24 pm

Can I come over for prime rib next year? I’ll bring vodka and, uh, sarcasm? And really anything else you want.

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Bobbi Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Just bring the sarcasm. I have vodka. Although I consider Christmas to be more of a gin and tonic holiday.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 4:35 pm

I prefer Xanax and Vicodin, but really, I’m not picky. But I’m NOT ADVOCATING THE USE OF PRESCRIPTION DRUGS FOR RECREATION, MR. DEA AGENT. HEAR ME?

I was snowed in this Christmas, so I hope I can get by with just mailing everything out instead of just postponing the stress of visiting families.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:11 pm

You know I can see the awesomeness in that. Except if you have to then go and visit anyway. Much as I love visiting family–which I do–traveling sucks.

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Arguing, football, and beer. That’s Christmas.

Aunt Becky, I found you this: http://www.vat19.com/dvds/openit-plastic-blister-packaging-opener.cfm .

Perhaps the best part– it has a bottle opener. It also conquers sadist packaging, but $20 says it, too, comes in sadist packaging. So, point completely demolished. Merry Almost-New Year’s…. the holiday designed for boozing adults.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:10 pm

I actually GOT a pair of garden shears this Christmas! Who’d have known I should have busted those puppies open early. That rules.

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PS- These are simply a pair of clean, over-rated, girl-ified garden shears.

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My poor sister. She still has today to go with her in-laws.

That said, my Christmas was full of the Awesome. No fighting (a first). Awesome 7 fishes dinner for Christmas Eve. LOVE 7 fishes dinner. Especially when 3 of the fishes include shrimp, lobster tails, and king crab legs. Gave my 8 year old nephew and niece their Christmas Eve gifts (yeah, I am a total bitch like that, I WILL be the favorite Aunt FOREVER because I BUY them stuff, and play with them, well that and my other sister is a miserable bitch, but thats another story lol)

Christmas Day is at my best friends sisters house for lunch and present giving to my first godson and friend and everyone gets homemage scarves from her mom who is really far gone with Alzheimers, but she knits like nobody’s business. She doesnt recognize any of us anymore, but she ALWAYS gives us our favorite colors! Weird. She had to leave when she started to sundown, but then it was time for me to go to my sisters for dinner and more family (same as the night before, no fights AGAIN) Christmas miracle. I love EVERYTHING I received, and I am itching to open MY NEW CAMERA. And wearing my Martha Stewart Coming Home Poncho.

Also, my sister lives in the mountains, and when everyone started to talk about weather they started dashing off around 8 or 9. When I say mountain I mean like climbing a wall. My mother said since my new car is untested in ice maybe I should stay and it got into the kids heads. Sleepover with Aunt Em!! I had a full blast 8 year old sleepover with the kiddoes, and I got the bed. The N&N slept on the floor with tons of blankets. The suckers took my picture of me sleeping full open mouth drool mode sometime during the night which they were delighted with.

My sister now wants me to sleep over every weekend because we slept until 9:30, which I dont think they have ever ever done. The Vampire in the closet kept quiet, and I introduced them to Simon and his Cat on the computer last night. And they introduced me to FRED, who I hate more than anyone in the world now.

I love that they are 8 now. True people.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:09 pm

8 is a great age and the Martha Stewart Coming Home Poncho is AWESOMELY beautiful (is it weird that I knew EXACTLY what you were talking about and got kinda jealous?).

Christmas here was also full of The Awesome. Especially since I got to say “scrotum” twice in this entry.

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Like cats have 9 lives..moms have 9 layers – of skin, that is.

Glad you all survived !

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 1:56 pm

We survived and it was lovely and even better? IT’S OVER. YAY!

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We had a great Christmas. After 17 yrs of working in schools, and feeling Christmased out by Dec 20, this year I took a different approach. The tree and decorations don’t go up until the week before the holidays, I didn’t kill myself making anything for people, skipped cards, and basically just focused on Hubs and Jake.

It was so freeing to make something we all love for dinner (Greek prawns and pasta) instead of a turkey, and the dishes were SO much less!

Glad you had a wonderful Christmas, too.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 1:54 pm

That’s awesome. Great way to do it. I don’t know HOW people who work in schools handle all the holidays all of the time. I think I’d go INSANE.

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Dysons are full of teh awesome. Just don’t over charge the battery by leaving it plugged in all the time. A friend killed hers that way.

To save finger skin from being shredded, the use of hand held can openers is the hidden trick to get the plastic off those insanely sealed items. Demo here –> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyw2AxcC9xE

May you slide into a happy post holiday ease…

Blessings always ~

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 1:53 pm

Now THOSE are two gems of wisdom. Thank you SO much.

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We too had Chinese for dinner. My Dave got dressed long enough to go pick it up. We haven’t left the house in nearly two days, other than that. Just sitting in the basement watching new DVD’s, playing new video games and eating cookies. Good times.

PS: Lego Star Wars is THE BEST! All of the Lego games are fantastic actually, but the Star Wars games rock out.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:41 pm

They’re making a Lego Harry Potter! AWESOME!

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Are you mad that I made a post of my own? I have the hyper still challenging me from 8 year olds.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:41 pm

I’d PREFER if you’d make a post of your own because I love reading it, yo.

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Melissa Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 4:23 pm

Yo indeed. I work in accounting. How fucking boring is THAT? I have few exciting moments per year. My 8 year old sleepover was the peak of the year lol.

And also, many people have been fired from my company thinking their blogs were anonymous, and I have too much to say about those assbags. I sometimes get paranoid commenting on other people’s blogs because if you know me in person, you know me by my comments.

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Melissa Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 4:26 pm

PS – The Martha Coming Home Poncho was another highlight. I about leaped.

Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 4:37 pm

Bwahahahaha! People….*gasp* that’s just funny. I mean, I leave myself out there ON PURPOSE because OBVIOUSLY, but I love people who think they’re anonymous and complain about their jobs. Not a good idea. Just. not. smart.

Christmas was good here with books, movies and video games for everyone, ensuring a good deal of silence, unless it was in multiplayer mode, then there was arguing.
The meal was excellent,probably the best prime rib I have ever made (and I have made 4 so take it for what it is worth)
Lego Star Wars is the AWESOME! Mayhem loves it & is getting the DK Visual Dictionary of Lego Star Wars for his birthday next month.
I have to hold up my end of the festive spirit until Jan 1 because we host a NYE party every year. It’s DH’s b-day. But come Jan 1 I resolve to be grouchy as hell for at least a month just to balance out all the frickin good cheer I am exuding now.
Of course you have to suction a scrotum with a new vac. I don’t see how you could not.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:40 pm

That’s the whole POINT of vacuums, right?

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hi there…sooo funny…what is with the wrapping…did you ever notice that the most destructible things ..light bulbs…are packed in light , light weight cardboard..with both ends open…but batteries are packed in some government grade plastic..impossible to open..what is going to happen to batteries anyway…That was from ‘Ellen” on her radio City Concert..sooo funny but soo true…BTW..what was that about the scrotum…??I think Im confused..??

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:40 pm

Now that’s totally true about the wrapping stuff and I’d NEVER noticed it until now. You’re spot on! Wild.

And the scrotum, I was just teasing The Daver back for making a housewife joke. Hehehe.

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We named our turkey Cletus Both Lefties since he was just a boob (King of the Hill reference) and we rubbed him GENEROUSLY with Butter and about 4 cut up clementines! We stuffed him with a whole one cut in half and sage and onion and garlic and he was SO JUICY and SO MOIST!!!! We also rubbed the dinner rolls with the juices from the turkey which made them even moore delicious!!!!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to You Vodka Mama!!!

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:38 pm

Now that sounds fantastic and very similar to what I did. Except with a lemon. And it was awesome! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too!

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So are you ever going to be able to have a Christmas WITHOUT vacuuming up The Daver’s scrotum? It sounds like tradition material to me!

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:37 pm

There’s nothing NOT AWESOME about that mental image, is there?

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Merry Christmas Becky!

My Christmas was full of The Awesome, mostly because we don’t have kids yet, but I have a small story to tell you about yesterday It involves bacon, in a roundabout way.

My husband’s family always does their stocking LAST – which to me is weird because my family always did stockings first. But anyway. So in my stocking he gave me a little bandaid tin full of BACON bandaids. They are bandaids but they look like bacon. And they are AWESOME. Not only to look at (and thus become hungry) but also to use.

How do I know? I sliced my thumb open while cutting an apple, less than an hour after receiving said bacon bandaids!

Happy best day of the year to you

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:36 pm

Merry Christmas to you! Bacon Bandaids sound like something I must look in to for The Daver because he’s IN LOVE with bacon and OBVIOUSLY that’s awesome.

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My Christmas started about 3 o’clock in the afternoon…when I finally got my kids and untraditionally left my house for dinner at the parents house.
No presents were opened until after 8 last night.
This morning I woke up with the plague.
Glad you’re enjoying your departure from Christmas!

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 3:36 pm

Damn, woman. The Plague sucks. I hear vodka helps. Feel better.

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I’m jealous that you have a Dyson. Can you come over for a visit so I can try it out??? Didn’t think so…oh well.

Isabella opened all of Joey’s gifts because he’s just not interested in pretty packages. He was thrilled with what was inside.

We got to celebrate Christmas three different times! I know you’re all jealous! On Christmas eve, at my mother in laws (my husband’s entire family is perfect and amazing in every way so this was, of course, wonderful)

Christmas morning we did the entire Santa thing here with the kids.

Then we drove 100 miles south to my parents to celebrate Christmas. The drive was horrible because the roads were very slick….with only a DUSTING!!!! People were fishtailing all over the place and skidding off the roads and crashing into stuff. It was scary so we drove about 40 miles per hour on the INTERSTATE. The last 30 miles wasn’t too bad and the roads were clear……

But, my parent’s house was amazing and great

As always….this was the best Christmas ever! Lots of family and food and just being around the people that I love.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 4:39 pm

You can come test out my Dyson AND my Kirby because I am that nice. And that sucks that the roads were so bad. We had ice storms up here too, but we had to go across the river. A mere 7 minutes. So, no one really complained and the roads were clear by the time we had to go.

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“…but that means that Christmas is OVER and I don’t have to deal with anything more pretending to be merry or liking other people again for another WHOLE year.”

It’s like these words were written with my very own fingers. LOL

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 4:38 pm

Why do people have to pretend to be people that they’re not around the holidays? I mean, I’m always pretty friendly, you know? But the stress of having to be nice makes other people MEAN.

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Christmas was a crazy cluster-f of insanity. And while I need to be thankful for the many blessings in my life, I also need to get as far away from Christmas as possible. Sorry for being a heinous hag, but that’s enough Christmas for me for another year.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 4:34 pm

This year seemed exceptionally vomity for me, if that makes any sense. Like, ENOUGH ALREADY. I am not sorry to see it go.

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I love the calendar! I’m glad that you had a good Xmas!

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 4:35 pm

I spent about 30 minutes snickering while I made the calendar for The Daver. That site is HILARIOUS.

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Lego Starwars is pretty much full of the awesome.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 4:36 pm

Lego Batman is similarly awesome! I’m hearing that they made a Lego Harry Potter which sounds fun too.

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My Christmas started with a walk downstairs. I looked out the window, and there was mother — burning one down by the bird feeder.

The usual.

I went for the food, I swear.

Happy Holidays to you and yours

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Christmas was “meh” as usual. I garnered two gifts, basically because I went out and purchased them myself. It’s not that my husband wouldn’t go get gifts for me, it’s just that after 7 years he still doesn’t have a clue what to get me.

By the way, Lego Indiana Jones is wickedly full of The Awesome, as well!

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My kids had candy for breakfast on Christmas Day, too. I’m fairly sure I’ll be nominated for Mother of the Year very soon.

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I’m ready to leave my parents’ house. That’s pretty much it. We got some good loot and ate some good food, so I can’t complain, but if I have to hear my overbearing aunt remind my going-senile grandmother to do something that doesn’t matter one more time, I’m going to flip. At least the dog didn’t get sick and cost us the other half of our honeymoon fund… knock on wood.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:36 am

I’m always happy to leave by the time it’s time to go. Although not as quickly as my son is. Alex (the two year old) was all “LET’S GO HOME, MOMMY” at about hour 4. Poor guy.

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Next year, ask The Daver for wire cutters – saves TONS of layers of skin when extracting the toys from their hermetically sealed packaging. Oh, and a box cutter.

And thanks for the “review” of LEGOS Star Wars. We just bought it…for the children, yeah. So now I’m really excited to try it out!

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:35 am

Bwahahaha! TOTALLY “for the children” I agree. And the game is awesome. I do NOT play video games and I love this one.

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Our Christmas kinda rocked. We spent our Christmas eve at my hubby’s best friend’s house. We were up until 4 in the morning just shooting the shit and enjoying the adult time that we never get anymore now that we’re parents. While playing Santa at 4:30am kinda sucked ass, the look on my son’s face when he got his first big-boy bike in the morning was so worth it. Between the 2 kids, we got a freakin buttload of toys… kinda looks like ToysRus threw up in our living room. But playing with the toys has been very fun. And my hubs got me a Wii Fit, which we have been totally flippin over. The whole family has been having virtual snowball fights and doing kung fu to a funky beat, including my mom (who is visiting for 2 weeks- YAY!). This has definitely been one rockin Christmas. We didn’t have to go anywhere. I’m totally exhausterated, but hey, it’s been great.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:36 am

Now that sounds like a GREAT Christmas.

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Hurray! I can now resume my regularly scheduled program of refusing to let people into traffic!

I ordered myself a Dyson for Christmas too!

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:31 am

And using the one-fingered salute!

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omg, we allllways make gingerbread houses, but this year, we made like 3 because my sil hosted an extended family gathering at her house and we made them there-each kid had one. so my kids got to make many, kinda like the year that the dog ate the gingerbread house when we were out and we had to make another one. we go to my mom’s for christmas eve, where the kids scored a new cell (t), a portable dvd player (alex) and a trip to disneyland-they are not spoiled. our house is quiet for christmas day, and we stay in our jammies. the kids got wayyy less this year because as they get older, their wishes get more expensive…which had to be explained to them, along with the fact that that is NOT what this is supposed to be about, dammit! they got a flatscreen tv for their messy-ass room, which will be used in the rv when we go camping too, and four ps3 games, passes to a local waterpark for this year, and some small stuff. i have to force myself to slow down and enjoy it all-it’s tough! i got a gps which i have no freaking idea how to work!!!

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:31 am

Ooooh! A GPS! I hate electronic gadgets at the same time that I love them because I can never work them properly by myself at first. That’s what The Daver is for, right?

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I, too am glad to see the backside of Christmas because I am so incredibily tired from being up every night for a week wrapping presents, and never having time to blog or knit or just not be working out what needs to get done. We have enjoyed the Star Wars Jedi mind trainer, and some Barbies but I have some warnings for you – Barbie clothes don’t really fit, so just don’t get any extras. The iPod touch is perhaps not as easy as it might appear to be, and never let your three year old take her Barbie house parts and the stickers that you use to decorate it into her own room for fifteen minutes because the flowers end up on the roof and the bookshelves get stuck in the bathroom. NOT pretty and I blamed my husband who opened the box, gave her the parts, and told her to put it all away. Grrr.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:30 am

Good to know about Barbies. I plan on buying them for Mimi if she wants them because I am living TOTALLY vicariously. I wasn’t allowed them so I’m totally allowing her ANY that she wants. Ha.

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Unspeakable horror. That was mine. So glad to be home.

Hey! *We* have a Dyson, and it’s one of the little(ish) ones – same power, I think, but a littler frame to make it easier to carry up and down stairs (because, yeah, I don’t do that). Anyway, when I was in the hospital giving birth to my fourth child, my mom and grandma were staying at my house. My grandma is a total martyr, so she was trying to clean my house, and she asked my husband if we had a “real” vacuum or just “the little one under the stairs.”

Full of postpartum cheer, I tried vacuuming up one of her hangy boobs, but even Dysons won’t pick that up.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:29 am

Mental note: do not vacuum up saggy boobs. DAMN. Depressing.

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It was actually a pretty good holiday. No one killed anyone in the family, so we were good there. And I actually got a gift that I liked – mostly due to the fact that I purchased it for myself. Best gifts come from those who REALLY love you (like yourself).

And I’m happy to report that this last snow storm only left 6 inches instead of the 12 they predicted for our portion of IL. Not bad at all.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:29 am

I bought, uh, 98.4 percent of my gifts and that? AWESOME. I didn’t know other people did that too! HA!

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If it makes you feel any better… I alreay took all my decorations down today and packed them all up. Nothing here to remind us of this “wonderful” holiday.

We exchanged no gifts this year and didnt even do a dinner. We looked at each other… did the deed… and slept for 14 hours straight! whoot!

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:28 am

I took down MOST of my decorations, but I have a feeling the tree will stay up indefinitely because I am FULL of laziness.

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RK Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:39 am

well…. you want to talk FULL OF LAZINESS…. our tree stays up all year too…. it is a real one that sits on the kitchen counter LOL Didnt even decorate it this year LOL

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OBVIOUSLY.

Although not Jewish, I tried to have Chinese food on Christmas Eve, but the local restaurants have apparently not heard of this tradition because they were all closing at 5 pm on Christmas Eve. WHAT THE!!!

Had a not bad Christmas. #1 daughter home from the Wild West with boyfriend who turns out to be rather nice, got actual gifts I suggested, and got out of having to cook a turkey, so all in all, a pretty cool Yule.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:28 am

Now that’s kind of depressing that you got NO CHINESE FOOD. I got Chinese food, although it tasted like butt.

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Well, I didn’t get a Dyson, but I am most definitely loving my Safari Snuggie.

And that’s all I have to say about THAT.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:26 am

That’s full of The Awesome.

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I would trade in all my boys’ presents for a dyson. Okay, that’s not saying much. I’d trade them all in for just about anything, as long as I didn’t have to deal with them any more.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:17 am

Bwahahaha! I SO get that. Especially the blinky ones that make noise.

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I bought my boyfriend an 8mm reel to reel projector for Christmas, then broke in to his apartment while he was at work on Christmas eve (Santa style) and stole the films of him when he was a baby.
It seemed like a brilliant and hopelessly romantic notion, until we spent 2 1/2 very long hours watching footage of complete strangers getting drunk (20 years before he was born) and 45 minutes of my boyfriend playing with his wiener in the tub when he was a baby. Good times.

If your man ever gets a hankering to buy somebody else a vacuum, send him our way, My daughter’s birthday is coming soon…

http://www.theladyslounge.com

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 27th, 2009 at 10:11 am

Vacuums are full of The Awesome, so that’s a freaking sweet ass present. So is an 8 mm projector.

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I decided that once my current vacuum bit the dust (haha) I’d replace it with a dyson. It.refuses.to.die. I’ve even tried to vacuum up concrete chunks and it keeps on ticking. wth.

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Christmas went well here in the house that Miss Spoken built. Except that The Boy woke up at 4:00 in the fucking morning. “AwwHellNo. Get back in bed, son. Mama has two hours left on her sleeping pill.”

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“Then, full of Christmas cheer, I vacuumed up his scrotum.”

The funny thing is I KNOW you are serious.

We stayed up until 5:30 a.m. on Christmas Eve putting together toys from “Santa”. Fuck Santa. Next year, I’m just wrapping the boxes and the kids can worry about it.

Condolences to your husband’s scrotum.

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I had no alcohol yet all my family members survived.

Yep, that about sums up my Christmas.

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Our Christmas was in the middle of a blizzard… so trapped in the house for 3 solid days with an almost-3-year-old was brutal.

And, as if it’s supposed to help, the weatherman proudly announced it was the ’snowiest (his word, not mine) Christmas Day ever’ and chuckled.

I’m not sure what’s funny about 13 inches of snow. Where the shit do you even shovel 13 inches when you still had 8 on the ground from last time?

I’m not bitter. I’m not bitter. I’m not bitter.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 28th, 2009 at 10:40 pm

I’m totally bitter. Today was fucking torture. And I RARELY complain about my day-to-day life, but today? SUCKED. HARD. Tomorrow is probably going to be worse because I just complained. GAH.

There’s nothing fucking funny about 13 inches of snow. I’ll choke the weatherman for you.

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I’m glad it’s over, too. Didn’t turn out too bad this year. I DID get a holiday themed dish towel & pot holder, but I also got…are you ready?…homemade laundry soap! With instructions on how to make it(4 gallons at a time!!!), but not how much to use. Should I just dump the whole quart size jar full in one load & see how it goes? Wheeee! This should be fun!
And, it rained here for Christmas, melted what little snow we had, which was great, but now it’s been snowing on & off all day. Looks like snow showers pretty much all week. UGH! I’ll just be here by the computer!

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 28th, 2009 at 7:55 pm

How does one make laundry soap? I’m TOTALLY confused. Is it…liquid? Or…huh? VERY confused.

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Ha, I love the idea of vacuuming him. And hey, awesome. Great present!

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Me + Christmas – In Laws – Traveling = The Awesome.

That is all.

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