Hey Aunt Becky -

I submitted a question once before and your answer was pretty awesomesauce, so I thought I’d have a another go at it.

I’m (I think) what you bloggers call a lurker.  I read several blogs every day but I don’t think I’ve ever commented.  A lot of the time I’m several days behind or I just don’t feel like I have anything interesting/relevant to add to whatever discussion is taking place but sometimes I just realize that it’s kind of weird to be sitting in my living room with my coffee reading up on some stranger’s life!

I don’t want to be a creepy non-contributing lurker.  Is it as rude and weird to just sit there creeping on blogs without commenting or should I suck it up and make comments every once in awhile?  I follow the blogs because they are interesting to me, have excellent writing or because I can relate.

I’m not a total weirdo recluse, I promise.

Thanks in advance for your complete awesomeness!

Oh, Dear Prankster, I don’t think you’re a weirdo recluse for not commenting. Not a bit.

It used to be that blogging “currency” (if I may)(and I always motherfucking may) was comments. It’s always been a little controversial to put up a donate button/tip jar* therefore a comment was the next best thing.

Since people began to read blogs in their readers (Google Reader, Feedburner, etc), commenting has gone the way of the condor. If the condor is actually dead. If he’s not, then I just lied. If you have a full feed published to your reader (which you should), people just read there.

The obvious answer would be to publish a partial feed so people click through, but partial feeds piss people off. For good reason. From a reader’s point of view, bloggers should make their blogs as accessible as they possibly can. EVEN IF IT MEANS LOSING A FEW CLICK-THROUGHS.

Also killing comments is that there are a number of commenting systems that are, flat out, a pain in the fucking ass to use. I read hundreds of blogs. If it takes me twenty minutes to figure out HOW to leave a comment, guess who loses a comment?

The Twitter and The Facebook don’t help. People comment there instead of on your blog.

And frankly? I don’t care. You don’t have to comment. I love comments, don’t get me wrong, but I’m happy enough to know my lurkers (and six kazillion robots) are out there.

And, lurkers, if you ever want to speak up, please do (or send me an email: aunt.becky.sucks@gmail.com). I’m beyond happy to make your acquaintance.

*don’t hate the player, hate the game.

Dear Aunt Becky,

Did you know there’s a new sitcom on ABC called “Happy Endings?”  Whether you knew is important, Aunt Becky, because I recently watched a DVR’d episode of said show, and not once, but TWICE, they stole your “Shut Your Whore Mouth” phrase.  I do not know if you are secretly working on this sitcom and put it in there so only your lovely Pranksters would recognize it, or if the writers stole your phrase.

So, if you are a secret writer on Happy Endings, kudos–I heard your phrase and recognized your handy work.  If you are not, then you might want to go EYE OF THE MOTHERFUCKING TIGER on ABC.

Your call.

Dear ABC,

I want some fucking royalties, ABC. Now.

Do NOT make me unleash The Pranksters on you, ABC, because I so totally will. And, ABC, do you KNOW what they did to John C. Mayer? They made him a VERB.

Yeah.

ABC, you don’t want that.

I’ll be expecting your check in the mail, ABC.

Cheers!

Aunt (motherfucking) Becky

Hey, Aunt Beck!

Was wondering…are your tees cut for chicks?  You know, a little fitted, a little more narrow at the waist, more of a cap sleeve?

The nosy, and possible purchaser, want to know!

Thanks!

Excellent question, inquiring Prankster.

Fashion Cut shirts = girls shirts = more fitted and tightish around the waist. Now, let me tell you something and don’t get all vain about it when you order one. BUY ONE SIZE UP. Just trust me.

That said, they make your rack look TREMENDOUS.

In which case you’re a dude. Then you probably want to go with Unisex.

And you should buy one. All of you.

(or not)

P.S. Working on new designs, too. Loved your suggestions last week. Thank you.

Comments = full of the awesome. Like gravy. I can haz an RSS RSS feed .

18 Responses to Go Ask Aunt Becky

  • Um, yeah. I suck at commenting. I’m slightly better now, but only because I figured out the google next button, which takes me to the sites in my reader, but takes me to the ACTUAL SITES, making it much more likely that my lazy ass will leave a comment.

  • tracey says:

    i read using google reader, and if i see something that i want to comment on, i click through. (see? i just did it. awesomesauce!) imho, i’d rather have one or two honest comments than 100 comments just because they’re expected.

  • I agree with all your answers to your letters. Because you are awesomesauce Aunt Becky!

    Re: commenting. I read and comment on a lot of blogs, and some more regularly than others. It’s just that sometimes I don’t because I can’t think of anything to say, so I er, don’t. Also, word verification and Captcha irks me.

    I love your tees by the way.

  • andrea
    Twitter: lilmscreant
    says:

    I’m not a big fan of Google reader for the fact that I like reading comment threads and commenting, even if my comments are completely self-serving and all about me (I look awesome today, by the way). However, on the plus side We do a lot of stuff through Google at work, so I can read blogs with less chance of getting caught, because to the person walking by it just looks like work stuff, rather than “Hey.. that hot-pink and green page doesn’t look like one of OUR pages”

    I get freaked out by lurkers, even though I shouldn’t. But it always throws me off when someone goes “I love reading your blog!” and I’m all “wait, what? you read it? like, all the time?”

  • Lance says:

    Here’s some eye roni for you.

    I believe in the community. I know more people lurk my. Blog than comment. I wish every one would comment. I comment a lot if blogs…….but yours.

    Aunt Becky, your blog intimidates me. Plus I know how internet famous you are and thus too busy to read and comment mine. I read you every day though.

  • i still comment on blogs. i’m old skool like that, but it does make me sad to see how much teh twitterz and fb have affected it.

  • Krissa says:

    They stole your whore mouth zinger?!?
    I am never watching ABC again. Never.
    Until the news tonight.
    Comments are great! But it gives you hemorrhoids if you try to force it when you don’t have anything to say.
    Or something like that.

  • Pete In Az says:

    The condor isn’t dead, um… they’re making a comeback. sorry.

    What’s wrong with being a weirdo recluse?

  • Danielle says:

    I chose you for one of my Versatile Blog Awards! Come see what it’s all about. Versatile Blog Award Hope you get a chance to check it out, pass it on….throw it in the trash, who knows…LOL..Have Fun!!!

  • Marta
    Twitter: marta28
    says:

    I used to be a lurker too, than I realized that people like comments and if you’re blogging you’ve got to be aware that people know all about your life (at least the blogged version of it) that you have no idea about.

  • Rebecca says:

    Please Aunt Becky oh pretty please, I beg of you to scheme up something so that we can pull a John C. Mayer on ABC!! I wanna help you John C. Mayer ABC. They are begging you to John C. Mayer thier company ABC!

  • Pete In Az says:
  • Alexis says:

    Dear Aunt Becky, Aunt Maria, and anyone else who claims me,
    I have to share something. Last night I was in THE MOST IMPORTANT TRACK MEET OF MY LIFE. It may also be the final track meet of my life as well. NO, I’M NOT SUFFERING FROM A TERMINAL ILLNESS, NOR AM I SUICIDAL ON A GOOD DAY. It’s just that in college I’ll have to choose between diving and hurdling. My high school tried to accommodate me and allow me to do both, but a university is not likely to offer such flexibility, as university NCAA Division I coaches typicallly possess tunnel vision. If they had their druthers, the athletes under their watch wouldn’t even be able to have sex (I’m not going to BYU) and participate in their chosen sports, much less participate in two bona fide sports in a single athletic season.

    I really love the winning aspect of hurdling, but it’s HARD WORK. I love the winning aspect of diving as well, but even the practicing part is fun. So I’ll probably choose diving over hurdling, though nothing is etched in stone, and I am half of my father’s genetic material. They, being Mormons, are natural masochists. Maybe that side will come out and I’ll choose hurdling over diving even though I feel as though I’ve been run over by a cement mixer after each and every hurdling practice.

    I’ve blathered for long enough. Last night, as the 100-meter hurdlers were lined up in the blocks for the finals, a few seconds before the gun would go off, I said in a matter of fact voice, loudly enough to be heard two lanes down on either side, “Eye of the Motherfucking Tiger.” The hurdler in the block to the left of me, who bore an eerie resemblance to Venus Williams, looked at me and said, “What the fuck!?!?!?” The blonde to the right of me, who appeared to be what Hitler was aiming for in creating his Super Race, merely gasped. She’s probably Mormon. Then the gun went off. I got a great jump and took the event going over the final hurdle with my left leg, which is not my usual lead leg, although I practice both ways because one never can know for certain with which leg one will need to lead off over a hurdle. EYE OF THE MOTHERFUCKING TIGER!!!!!!!!! I’m a fucking state champion!!!!!!! And I don’t even have boobs yet.

  • Alexis
    Twitter: theangelalexistwitter.com
    says:

    I forgot to include the point relevant to the post. After I announced, “Eye of the Motherfucking Tiger” and the Venus Williams twin asked, “What the fuck?” I seriously considered using the other immortal Aunt Becky line, “Shut Your Whore Mouth,” but, as I stated earlier, I’m not suicidal on a good day. Besides, it was time to shut up and prepare to hurdle because the trigger man was already beginning to flex his right index finger.

  • Bill says:

    most of the time, i’ll read a blog i don’t normally comment on and be like, “since this person doesn’t know me, they’ll be weirded out by new readership”. then I think of the times i get new readership, and how excited i am, and that’s when i’ll comment. like now.

  • Joules says:

    I thought the Happy Endings shoutout was rad, I was like hell no she did NOT just say that!
    I took it as a nod to the Chi-town gangsta/blogger that is you as the show’s set in Chicago and they’re always trying to make appropriate references. But if they be stealing yo shit, then they be on my list. Not sure if that was rapper or pirate, but consider it truth.

  • Pete In Az says:

    Congratulations, Champ.

  • Christopher says:

    On the subject of commenting, this is my first on your blog. I’ve been lurking for a number of months and probably would have continued to lurk were it not for the second question in this lovely edition of Ask Aunt Becky. My boyfriend recently said “Shut Your Whore Mouth” and I replied, “oh, have you been reading mommywantsvodka.com too?”. He said that he hasn’t been…apparently he and his friend have been saying that for years!

    Maybe I’ll start commenting more. Usually I feel like I don’t have much to add to the conversation or other people have covered the basics. A lot of it is anxiety (which SUCKS) that my comment is complete unnecessary, pointless, and will go unread. But, well, fuck it.

    Love your blog :)

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