What’s better than profane shirts? BACON.
I can’t ship you bacon, though, because it’d rot in the mail. Plus, I ruin Jello, so there’s that.
Instead, I made you shirts. PROFANE shirts. Shirts that say, “Shut Your Whore Mouth” and “Not Your Bitch.” Also, for Band Back Together, I’ve made, “With The Band,” “Cancer is Bullshit,” and “I Kicked Cancer’s Ass.”
Why? WHY NOT?
These are full of the awesome screen-printed shirts. My friend makes them.
Screen-printed = awesome. They’re eco-friendly shirts and they are (hand-to-baby-Jesus) the most flattering shirts you’ll find.
They do run about a size smaller than you’d normally wear, so always buy a size larger, even if you hate to do it (I cut out the tags when I hate the size)(I am mature)(VERY mature).
I’m also open to any and all ideas that you have for shirts, so please, let me know. No, I’m serious. Different sizes, whatever, just drop me a line.
Shut Your Whore Mouth Shirts available in black, pink, and purple. Because obviously.
Purple is a Flavor, Damnit! Shirts (in purple only)
Not Your Bitch Shirts.
Cancer is Bullshit Shirts (available in men’s sizes, too)
I Kicked Cancer’s Ass Shirts (also available in men’s sizes).
With The Band Shirts (also available in men’s sizes).
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LOVE THE NOT YOUR BITCH ONE!!!
Twitter: mommywantsvodka
says:
I love it because it’s TRUE.
I freaking love this… I can’t figure out which shirt I love more.
Twitter: mommywantsvodka
says:
Shut Your Whore Mouth is, I think EVERYONE’S fav…but I love Not Your Bitch.
Would you be willing to forward my e-mail address to your friend that screenprints shirts? I would like to have some made as a fundraiser for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training.
I just bought the Shut your whore mouth for my mother-in-law! She is gonna love it!
You know, given that we all just went through the whole “cancer” thing in this family, I think everyone deserves a “cancer is bullshit” t-shirt in their stockings. It. Is. Such. Bullshit.
Twitter: mommywantsvodka
says:
It is SUCH bullshit. I’m sorry, yo. I’m really sorry.
I just received MY Not Your Bitch t-shirt and i freakin LOVE it!! fits my ta-tas perfectly!! sadly i’ve just received word from my super cool boss that i cannot wear it to work…hhhh… FML. I went so far as to inquire whether the Shut Your Whore Mouth was more appropriate… that was a negative as well… ah well. i’m totally gonna wear it to the grocery store next time i take my kids!!!
Twitter: mommywantsvodka
says:
I totally want a picture of that. And aren’t those shirts WAY flattering? YAY!
Oh my gosh… I’m so buying the “Shut your whore mouth” shirt and wearing it to my high school reunion. Now I don’t have to worry about what to wear AND I technically don’t have to talk to any of those nasty coke-whore bitches I went to school with.
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I think you need some shirts that say “BITCH GIT ME CHICKEN!” Awesomeness!
Oh my god, I so need both of the cancer shirts! And a “Not your bitch” one! and maybe a “Cancer – I’m not your bitch” one too.
Becky,
You were so kind when I posted a tweet about my mother’s cancer diagnosis shortly before Thanksgiving, I wanted to say thanks and share this with you.
Mom had a checkup yesterday after her first round of treatments. The checkup showed no cancer cells. YEAH MOM!
The shirts brought a smile to her face when there really wasn’t much to smile about. Today she broke it out and sent me this pic.
http://twitpic.com/431wrr
The smile is back; you helped with that.
Thanks again for your kind words and shirts!
R
Love the Cancer is BullSH**. My mother is going through chemo for breast cancer. This shirt says it all.
Twitter: mommywantsvodka
says:
Cancer is SUCH bullshit. Tell your mom I’m keeping her in my thoughts and prayers. I promise it’s not in a creepy way.
I just got my Shut Your Whore Mouth and Cancer is Bullshit t-shirts. Had my mastectomy 2 and half weeks ago and start chemo in two weeks. I’ll both shirts with pride.
I really want to buy the “I kicked cancers ass” shirt for my aunt because she totally did, but I’m not sure I’d be able to convince her to wear something with *gasp* ass on it. She’s a bit conservative. These shirts are awesome though.
Twitter: mommywantsvodka
says:
Man, if you could get her to wear it, I might cry with the awesome.
Make one with your tagline… “Mommy drinks because you cry.” I was hoping to see one on this page.
How do I go about buying a shirt??!
Twitter: mommywantsvodka
says:
Right here! http://icallthisart.3dcartstores.com/search.asp?keyword=becky
I’d never have to talk to my mother again, just simply walk around her, LOL. Great Bec.
xoxo Shelly
http://www.twinpossible.com/blog
I have bought several of your shirts, for myself and for friends and family. On Thanksgiving, however, I thought of what your next shirt should say: “Pants are Bullshit”. We had way too many people (adults and children) running around with no pants on!! If these come to fruition, I will be purchasing about a dozen of them!!
Becky, I wanted to buy (2) Shut Your Whore Mouth shirts but don’t see them as an option on the “buy” page. Can you let me know if they are still available? Thanks so much!
Twitter: mommywantsvodka
says:
Try going here: http://icallthisart.3dcartstores.com/Mommy-Wants-Vodka-com-SYWM_p_18.html That should do it! The shirts are hilarious.
Send me a pix after you get ‘em!
Thank you so much!! Will do!!
Your comment “get those skeltons out of the closet and make them dance” should.be a t-shirt. Good luck. You’re hilarious!