Mommy Wants Vodka » Blog Archive » She’s The Number One Super Girl

She’s The Number One Super Girl

January5

At one PM today, my daughter, Amelia, was feeling sad.

(note: Parts of My Daughter, Amelia, will be played by Your Aunt Becky)

Not Actually My Daughter

Why could that be?

Could it be because she saw this scary poster hanging in a local eatery?

That Kid Can Believe it's Not Fucking Butter.

No!

Could it be because she couldn’t find Mommy’s Boba Fett helmet?

Reality Doesn't Care If You Believe It. Neither Does Mom.

NO!!!

Could it be because no one bought her “Couch Jesus?” on eBay?

Couch Jesus

No way man!

Could it be because Mommy hadn’t installed the Ultimate Disco Ball in her bedroom yet?

We're Getting The DISCO Band Back Together

NO!

Amelia,

Not Actually Amelia

Why so sad, peanut?

Here’s a song for you.

It’s what Mommy sings when she’s in the shower. Let’s sing i..ouch, Amelia, that hurts. Don’t pry Mommy’s lips off.

Oh. You’re sad because you just started school today. I see.

I’m sorry you were sad…What’s that? You’ll only be less sad if I buy you these in your size?

Pretty sure your father would have my head.

I’ll go get my credit card.

posted under Mommy's Little Girl Loves Sequins

37 Comments to

“She’s The Number One Super Girl”

On January 5th, 2011 at 4:46 pm Kristina Says:
Oooh, size 9 please! Those are hot. I love patent leather, especially red but dark blue will do too 🙂
On January 5th, 2011 at 4:49 pm chris Says:
You’re even more awesome now that I know you have a Boba Fett Helmet! I am a huge star wars nerd. HUGE! Also, I think the best shower song to sing in the world is , “Easy” the faith no more version.
On January 5th, 2011 at 4:51 pm Allison Says:
I think she’d be happier if you bought those in MY size….
On January 5th, 2011 at 5:00 pm Twitch Says:
She has some snawesome taste in footwear! And would never have a problem with school again so long as she knew a wee pair of patent leather electric blue pumps awaited her at home…
On January 5th, 2011 at 5:07 pm Sundayk Says:
Amelia is my girl!
On January 5th, 2011 at 5:14 pm Erin@MommyontheSpot Says:
Where did you get those?! They are awesome!! Also, I think they would look totally fab under your new disco light. And when you use your sprarkly toilet.
On January 5th, 2011 at 5:28 pm Becky Mochaface Says:
Amelia has some great taste in shoes. I knew we were kindred spirits.
On January 5th, 2011 at 5:40 pm The Shitzizle Says:
lol
On January 5th, 2011 at 5:45 pm No Model Lady Says:
What child doesn’t need heels? One step closer to the pageant circuit.
On January 5th, 2011 at 5:46 pm The iHubby Says:
CHEESUS CRUST YOU OWN YOUR OWN BOBA FETT HELMET!!!

Will you be my real aunt?
On January 5th, 2011 at 5:53 pm CycleNinja Says:
I’m with her father, regarding the shoes. Unless you add glitter.
On January 5th, 2011 at 5:57 pm Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up) Says:
Ahhhh…the American way! When you’re sad, buy, buy, buy! Are you sure those heels are high enough for her? We have a legolas but no Boba Fett hat.
On January 5th, 2011 at 5:57 pm Carri Says:
Oh… it’s only a matter of time before I get my very own Couch Jesus. I can’t wait.
And WTF is up with that poster? Eeek.
On January 5th, 2011 at 5:58 pm mumma boo Says:
Tell the truth – you blog in nothing but the shoes and the Boba Fett helmet. 😉
On January 5th, 2011 at 6:07 pm stacey@Havoc&Mayhem Says:
Probably she would be happy if you bought them in your size & let her wear them. Which makes them 2 for 1, which is an awesome deal!

I need a Boba fett helmet. I only have a batman mask & I am sick of being a good guy. The Dark Knight just isn’t dark enough
On January 5th, 2011 at 6:49 pm a Says:
Maybe you should start her off with the Hello Kitty shoes instead of going straight to the dominatrix level?
On January 5th, 2011 at 7:07 pm Paula Says:
You wearing the Boba Fett helmet AND those heels would probably be just too much sexiness.
On January 5th, 2011 at 8:05 pm Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points Says:
Aunt Becky! Aunt Becky!

I am sad.

So so sad.

Because…uhh…REASONS. Yes. Very compelling and HUGELY sad reasons.

And I have size 9 feet.
On January 5th, 2011 at 8:26 pm SharleneT Says:
Hmmm… this small sad child felt she could only feel better with that particular item… hmmmm… seems to me a lifetime of sharing shopping is in the future… she certainly has excellent taste… Come visit when you can…
On January 5th, 2011 at 9:08 pm karen Says:
I wanna know what the chunk outta da helmet means … !!!
On January 5th, 2011 at 9:32 pm Neeroc Says:
Those shoes would take my high arches and break my foot right in half. Legacy of my pregnancy? Bones in my feet all shifted and I can’t wear high heels anymore. Damn kid.

School?! She can slow down on kicking but with that degree.
On January 5th, 2011 at 9:41 pm Deidra Says:
Gorgeous color!
On January 5th, 2011 at 9:42 pm PBBDesigns Says:
Love the Sharpee kitty whiskers, sweetheart!
Oh, and the shoes, you can keep them. Ever since I broke my foot (you don’t want to know how) I can’t wear heels higher than 2 inches.
On January 5th, 2011 at 9:42 pm PBBDesigns Says:
Love the Sharpee kitty whiskers, sweetheart!
Oh, and the shoes, you can keep them. Ever since I broke my foot (you don’t want to know how) I can’t wear heels higher than 2 inches.
On January 5th, 2011 at 9:56 pm Andie Says:
Numbah One Supah Guy!!
On January 5th, 2011 at 9:57 pm Andie Says:
That being said, I myself like to break into the Butthole surfers theme from Underdog.

I think the fact that this version was not included was part and parcel of what made me hate that movie. Oh and that it was fucking terrible. Jason Lee, why don’t you love me anymore?
On January 5th, 2011 at 10:51 pm Kristin Says:
Please promise you will bring the Boba Fett helmet to BlogHer! That would just rock my world. BTW, I love Amelia’s taste in shoes.
On January 6th, 2011 at 12:06 am GingerB Says:
That couch Jesus makes my dashboard Jesus look so lame. Good thing I have a Virgin Mary toast printer, so I won’t have to feel so jealous.
On January 6th, 2011 at 3:54 am Kristina Says:
Amelia definitely got taste!!! Sadly, I can no longer wear those shoes. and yes, the helmet is unbelievable! Rock on!
On January 6th, 2011 at 7:40 am Marie Says:
I have ALMOST those shoes, except with a peep toe. they are all kinds of awesome. I say get matching ones.
On January 6th, 2011 at 10:13 am Kelly Says:
I would have thought that Mimi would still be grounded for her “art,” and you go spoiling her with shoes….naughty Mommy!
On January 6th, 2011 at 10:13 am Becky Says:
Uh, I’m all sad in the pants too. I got dumped the day after Christmas, after 4 effing years! I think shoes are the perfect pick me up kick his royal fucking ass answer to my problems.
*ahem* just sayin
On January 6th, 2011 at 10:32 am Your Aunt Becky Says:
I think you’re right. I’ll send you some. Unless you have tiny feet. I get offended when people have tiny feet. Because then they’re all, “YOU HAVE BOAT FEET, AUNT BECKY,” and I have to punch them in the neck (not really).
On January 6th, 2011 at 10:50 am Meg at the Members Lounge Says:
I am cheered by the fact you know the Hong Kong Phooey Song. Cartoon theme songs cheer everyone up. My BIL can do an entire medley from all of them – the Banana Splits song if a fave, too.
On January 6th, 2011 at 12:02 pm Your Aunt Becky Says:
That song is AMAZING and I sing it ALL THE TIME (in my head). Because it’s like my theme song. Except it’s really not. But I want it to be. A lot.
On January 6th, 2011 at 11:41 am Adriane Says:
Amelia has FABOO taste. I must have the same shoes. We could be all like twinsies or triplets or some shit. Right?

Oh, I am a size 9…
On January 10th, 2011 at 8:39 pm Roccie Says:
Please provide link to Sofa Savior so that we may begin bidding immediately.