With the prospect of having some of my stories being not only for public consumption but also for purchase, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about names. Specifically, my own name.

I’ve been blogging for years now, although not always here on Mommy Wants Vodka, and I’ve made no real effort to hide who I am. I mention my hometown (St. Charles, Illinois), my name (Aunt Becky), my husband (The Daver) and my children (Alex and Ben), and I’m not sorry about it. Plenty of my friends in real life and in the computer read my blog, and even if they don’t comment, I know that they are here.

My parents do not read my blog, not because they don’t know about it, but because they never ask. Besides, I write here just like I speak in real life (without the parenthesis and flagrant usage of commas, of course) so none of this is new to them. They did raise me after all, and are pretty accustomed to my colorful ways of describing things. Like my vagina.

Plenty of people feel really strongly about blogging anonymously, for some valid reasons and some not so valid reasons, and I totally get behind that. Especially if you’re talking trash about people or subjects you don’t care to tell the whole world about it makes sense.

I was reading in the new issue of Wired, one of my favorite magazines (also in this issue: How To Become An Internet Superstar. Interestingly, the highlighted person I had never heard of) about this new project called the Personal Genome Project. What was the most interesting thing I found that I would care to discuss here (I’m a bit of a genetics geek, so the whole article kinda gave me a boner) was that if you go to this website, you can read about Philip Church. Ad nauseum.

Why the hell would someone disclose so freaking much about himself? Simple. Like me, he thinks that this sort of trivia is meaningless, something completely uninteresting to the average person.

This is precisely WHY I would and frequently do disclose as much as I do. What are you going to do, stalk me? Steal my dog with bladder control issues or my cat with a crusty ass? Be my guest. My life is pretty dull. Sometimes I tell good stories, sometimes I attract drama, sometimes I don’t.

So, hi, Internet. My name is Becky Sherrick Harks and this is my blog. Nice to meet you all.

And no, not one of those men is my husband.

Your turn. Why do you blog anonymously or not?

Comments = full of the awesome. Like gravy. I can haz an RSS RSS feed .

88 Responses to She’s A 90210 Type Of Ho

  • Mrs.Spit says:

    Hmm, I do a bit. I obviously have a screen name, but I have used my first name, once.

    I would post pictures of my kids, and you’ve all seen the dogs. And the evil cat.

    Would I post my full name, my address or phone number? Probably not.

  • I blog anonymously because I am applying for jobs soon, and one of the things that most hiring committees do is google people’s names. If you google my name I want a bunch of publications and awesome things about me coming up (which they do), and not a bunch of bitching about what terrible parents I have/how much I hate religion. My blog is not part of what I want my professional ‘web presence’ (or some other lame ass word) to be.

    Also there are a bunch of crazy religious people who always post on my blog, and I’d rather not have them show up on my doorstep. If you know my real name it’s very easy to find my office address and room number, through google.

    Finally, and this is somewhat similar to the first reason- I am an adjunct college professor, and I don’t want my students finding my rantings about religion either.

    I’m not ashamed of what I write, but I know some religious people might take offense, so I’d rather not have that harm my future job prospects/strain relationships with my students (and I teach at a school that has a very high population of religious jewish people- exactly the religion I am ranting against).

  • Badass Geek says:

    I am 1/2 anonymous, 1/4 non-anonymous, and 1/4 quasi-anonymous.

    Needless to say, there are varying states of anonymous-ness on my blog. And I totally don’t care that “anonymous-ness” isn’t a word.

  • Ms. Moon says:

    I started out trying to be semi-anonymous but soon reached the same conclusion as you- I’m too boring for anyone to come lookin’ for. I do, however, try very hard to preserve the anonymity of others whom I may be writing about.
    Just good manners, right?
    And by the way, you look exactly like I thought you would! Gorgeous!

  • SciFi Dad says:

    I used to post under my real name, but my wife got spooked (basically scared of stalkers and identity theft) so now I use a pseudonym.

    I understand why some people choose not to be anonymous while others choose to be. It’s a matter of choice, of comfort; to each their own.

  • Anjali says:

    I don’t blog anonymously, because I just can’t. I tried once, but quite honestly, I felt like I was lying to myself. Also, I’m a writer, (I write about my life) and heck, it’s very difficult to do this successfully with anonymity.

  • Lannie says:

    Nice to meet you, Becky :D You’re beautiful, and the husband is gorgeous as well. :D

    I am pretty much anonymous on the internet because I’ve worked as a recruiter for quite some time, and I actually googled people actively for a living :S And the stuff that turns up sometimes has caused people not to get new jobs. In my case the worst things I do is go to metal concerts/festivals and smoke weed once in a while so the question is whether in that case you’d even WANT to work at an employer who’d dismiss you on those grounds, but still…

    My way of circumventing this stuff? I lead a double life on the internet. One uses my real name, which is for crap like facebook… and then there’s my blog, where the most you’ll find out about me is that I live in the Den Haag vicinity in the Netherlands, and if you dig deep you can find my real first name. ;) I suppose if you’d want to, and if you have a few working braincells, you’d be able to connect the dots between facebook RL me, and blog-me, but in that case you’re putting in so much effort that you might as well know anyway :D

  • LilSass says:

    Very simply, I don’t like the food on my plate to touch. I like my world being partitioned, if you will. There’s something I find sacred in that i have a different “life” on the world wide web, than I do in RL. I mean, a handful of people in the RL know I blog but I don’t tell them what it is. I think of my blog as MY space (oh barf, I didn’t mean that to be like the douchebag social networking site). It’s MY thing. And for some strange reason, I am more comfortable with sharing the completely mundane parts of my life in written form, anonymously, whether or not people read or comment. I think for the first 2 years I blogged, only one of my RL friends read it. It was 2 years of ranting (during Bush’s re-election year, do you blame me?) So … my blog is an exercise in writing and creativity and sharing. And I don’t like when my mashed potatoes touch my asparagus. And I am sure that doesn’t make any sense to anyone but me.

  • LilSass says:

    One more thing, you’re so cute though not at all what I pictured. What a lovely surprise ;-)

  • Collette says:

    Hello aunt Becky! Nice to meet you! I just started blogging (like last sunday started) and have two blogs. One is completely non anon. I post pictures of my kids, use our real names, city and state. The purpose of this blog is for out of state family and friends to keep up with our lives. I also have a anon blog. I use it as an outlet for myself and, quite frankly, there are certain parts of my personality my mom would rather no know about…like the fact that I swear. I am 28 years old and can’t swear around my mom. So, thats it. Anon and non anon here.

  • kbreints says:

    I don’t make the effort to blog one way or the other. It is to much effort for me to try to make up new names for people– I have a hard enough time remembering their real ones. HA!

    I do however choose to leave ceratin things out of my blog. It is very much about my children and our goings on as a family– I don’t dsicuss things that will be hurtful to extended family to hear.

    That is not worth the drama.

  • I blog anonymously because I don’t want to have to censor myself. I don’t think I want my family to read some of the stuff I have to say. As I recently wrote, I don’t think what I’m writing is any good, I don’t think I have anything important to say. Writing is just therapeutic to me right now.

  • Cassie says:

    I’m not anonymous b/c I really don’t care. I’m like you, I don’t really talk about anything that I would care if anyone found, and I don’t really think I’m worthy of a stalker lol. but then again i don’t really tell anyone IRL about my blog either. If they found out it wouldn’t be a big deal, I just feel like they wouldn’t be that interested.

  • trish says:

    LilSass – I totally get not wanting your food to touch. Often, I won’t eat food that has touched other food (like mashed potatoes with asparagus).

    Now on to my comment. I don’t blog anonymously. In fact, I’ve seen people google my first and last name and land on my blog. I thought I pulled a fast one when I got married and changed my name, but someone somewhere somehow figured out my last name. After being irritated for two seconds, I decided I don’t care. None of my topics on my blog would get me fired, nor would my blogging prevent me from landing a job.

    What irritates me is when people use DH or DD or DS…I mean, really. Do you use the word dear when you refer to these people in front of people. “My dear son did so well at soccer today!” Um, no. I don’t think they do. So why use it on the internets? Because you can’t be bothered to type out either your spouse’s name or h-u-s-b-a-n-d or w-i-f-e or s-o-n?

    But I’m confused now about who you are…I saw the pictures from BlogHer and now this picture from (I’m assuming) your wedding…and I don’t know which person in the pictures from BlogHer you are!! ACK!

  • CLC says:

    Lovely wedding picture. You look fab!

    I am 1/2 and 1/2. I try not to use too many identifying characteristics, but it’s not too hard to figure out who I am, at least if you know me. I tried to keep it anon, because it’s like my diary. My sister is the only one IRL that I let read it, and I made her promise not to show anyone else. It’s too personal for my IRL peeps. I know that makes no sense, but it is what it is.

  • Jenn says:

    Kind of, sort of. I use my first name, my kids’ names, my state (but not my city). And not my last name. And I try not to use my friend’s names in an “incriminating detail” kind of way.

  • T says:

    hmmm.
    I have felt the need to be anon. But then I recently posted about the importance of names and I could not do that without say – actual names. So I said what the hey and posted first names. Usually I tend to use First initials but that’s mostly bc I am lazy (see?).

    And I do agree that posts with aliases somehow just don’t ring as true to me. It’s like hey welcome to my family but then everyone keeps their backs turned toward you. Not all that welcoming really. And it lacks reality.

    And I don’t think anyone could “find” me but I also feel no need to invite anyone into my house.

    They can stay out on the lawn and peer in.

    And I’ll even wave from the window.

    So I guess I am split on this issue.

    Oh, And great Dress!

  • Brooke says:

    I’m not totally non-anonymous, but I certainly wouldn’t post my address, my childs school or the last names of people I write about. I stick to first names, and if they have a nickname, I’ll use that. Like others, I tried to be anonymous on my last blog, and it was really hard to do. Most of my friends know of my blog, and so far no complaints!

    You’re a gorgeous girl, Aunt Becky! Nice to meet ya!

  • deb says:

    i do not blog anonymously. i have no big secrets to hide or anything I feel ashamed sharing with others. Seriously, do you want to know about my sexcapades? Just ask (lol). While I am pretty sure none of my immediate family reads my blog, I don’t think they would care about anything that is said within. It’s not all that different from me telling things to my best friend, and that’s pretty much what I consdier all of you,…my best friends.

  • Brooke says:

    I have to add that I love the title of this post. Athough I will have Salt ‘N Pepa stuck in my head for the rest of the day now!

  • insane mama says:

    Well, I just started blogging, I have hid it from my kids, because I have said some hurtful shit. I have not mentioned it to my parents, and I don’t think they would care, or read it. My first name is used.

  • Tiffany says:

    I am fairly open…you can google me and find me almost anywhere..lol..
    I don’t use my last name, just coz..
    LOL
    I do have somethings I want to blog about that I don’t want some people in my life to see or read…but not all..so I am torn on that aspect of it..

    you know when someone says don’t do anything you would be ashamed to tell your mom?
    yeahhhh…I have alot of that..

  • Vered says:

    It’s very nice to meet you, Ms. Becky Sherrick Harks. :)

    I am not anonymous because I don’t have anything to hide.

    The skeletons in my closet are just as dull as the skeletons in anyone else’s closet.

  • Andrea says:

    i thought this was a great post! I am not really anon. when I post – I let people know who I am and what is going on, much for the same reasons you stated — who really cares?! I don’t think anyone is going to drive to Hartville,Oh to find me and ask me about my shoes or my life plans!
    it freaks my mom out to no end – as she does read my blog – and is paranoid someone is going to come and take me away, or steal my stories, or who knows what!

  • Stacey says:

    I blog semi-anonymously. I use nicknames & don’t mention where we live. I’m sure about 3 minutes worth of minor effort would certainly narrow me down, especially if you knew me in real life, but why make it easy for people? I am a closet pagan moderate Libertarian in a world of conservative Republican Baptists. I keep things to myself IRL but need to get them out somewhere & the internet is where. There will be awkwardness the day someone at the kids’ school connects me with my blog. Nothing horrible, just awkward and probably some anger & I choose to put that off for as long as possible.

  • shay says:

    nope. no anon for me. It could be cuz I think, really like who would care enough to actually find me or cuz I’m too lazy/stupid/whatev to actually make up and use consistently, pseudonyms …. how smart are these people anyway?! Plus I my irl friends/fam etc read it and I like to post pics etc.

    whew that was a long winded…”same here sista” lol

  • ANG* says:

    absolutely not. i am me – take me – read me – or leave me. i put it all out there. if i dont want you know know about something (read: breakups or very personal things) i just wont talk about it. i might allude to it and if you know me outside of the blogosphere, you’ll get it. or you can probably ask me. if you care that much, why not share? i write mostly for entertainment. if you take me too seriously, you’re not a very fun stalker anyways…

  • Natural says:

    i do it both ways….

    with my real name – i keep things kosher

    with my fake name – i eat pork

  • Heather says:

    I’m sort of not so much anon. That makes sense, right? I use my real name, but use nicknames for the kids (which are actually the names we call them in real life — so not too anonymous for anyone who actually knows us). I also post pictures of everyone occasionally. I’m pretty active elsewhere online and am pretty transparent about personal stuff so it wouldn’t be hard to connect the dots.

    Still. I don’t want any perverts knocking. ;) I’ll send them to you if I get any; I know you love that sort of thing, Aunt Becky. :) Perverts and trolls. LOL.

  • kat says:

    non-anon. i like all my family & friends to read and not be confused!

    my blogging isn’t wildly exciting or controversial so why should i hide?

  • RhoRho says:

    You look pretty and nice. I thought you’d be all tatted out or something. We can’t always judge a book by its…internet voice? And Yeah I guess if a nickname and hidden locale is anon, otherwise, no anon comments or whatever. Not here to fuck with anyone!

  • KC says:

    I’m only partially anonymous. I don’t really care if people know – besides – you outed me on your blog roll – you ho-bag. (For real though, I don’t care).

  • paisana says:

    I’m quite careful to not get dooced or have my identity stolen. Basically, I don’t want to be held accountable for my blog.

  • I do… kinda. I actually kinda just posted about this. I don’t feel like I blog to my full potential for fear of crossing over into the zone where my friends and family will read. I’m hanging somewhere in the middle… but I am envious of your coming out!

  • heather... says:

    Two of those dudes are dressed alike, one dude is dressed like a groom, and you are dressed like a bride. So this picture is from Easter, right?

    These comments are cracking me up. “Hey Aunt Becky, I’m surprised you’re not hideous!” HAAAAAAAA.

    Dude, there is nothing about me that’s anonymous. LOOK ME UP. DO IT.

  • Carrie says:

    I use my name, my husbands, my daughter’s, and my future twins’ names as well. I have a pretty dull life as well.

  • baseballmom says:

    I’m not really anonymous. I don’t put my husband’s name out there, but it’s because he hasn’t given me permission. Everyone knows my kids’ names, and where we live (not the address, obviously) but I don’t tell the rest of my extended family, because sometimes I like to be able to vent about them! I guess I, too, am too boring to be totally anon. I wouldn’t obviously go posting my soc. sec. #, but I don’t really have anything to hide.

  • MYS says:

    Hi, nice to meet you. I have tried reading before, but the type style and size was not working out for me.
    Despite the abreviation for this, “My Other Blog,” I started another blog first, when I was about to go through treatment for Hepatitis C. While in the middle of that, my husband announced he was leaving. That blog became too much about my marital breakup, (and I was depressed) so I started this other, more depressing blog (and if you know anything about treatment for Hep C, that’s pretty depressing too, so you can imagine how depressing this one was a year ago). At some point, I went from being “uncertain” to having wonderous imaginary psychic powers, so I became Madame Yu See (u.c. – or do you?) Needless to say, my future-ex husband doesn’t know about this or the other blog, nor does anyone I met first in the real world first vs. this virtual world. Since starting the other blog, I’ve met a bunch of people, mostly through the other blog and Hep C forums I belonged to. (The logic is: if I meet you on the internet, you’re OK, if not, I don’t trust you…yeah, as I said, Hep C treatment does strange things to your head.) I don’t know why I go on writing now…habit maybe or bordeom?
    Well, I’m glad I stopped by and could actually read tonight. I’ll be back.

  • honeywine says:

    I suppose I’m semi-anonymous. My first name is up for grabs and there are pics and everyone else’s name is there including the dog. My last name can be figured out if you know you’re celtic history (honeywine equals my maiden surname…also the only username I could think up or remember reliably). Though, most blogs you post to use email identifiers, and my email includes my maiden name. So I guess I’m not much of a mystery! :) I’m used to that. I don’t really do secrets. It’s too much trouble and I’m lazy. :) I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I just don’t identify M. (other than pics) because of his work life.

  • MsPrufrock says:

    As you know, I pretty much blog anonymously. I post pictures of my kid, because I just can’t help myself, but I don’t go throwing my name and photo out there. This is mainly because of work stuff. Having called my boss a cunt a few times I don’t know if that would be wise.

    Congratulations on coming out!

  • I wish I could be anonymous but I have several real life Internet stalkers that no matter where I move my blog (which I’ve done several times) and no matter how many keywords I put in code, they still find me. How? I have no idea. I’ve finally just had to come to accept it.

    My friends and family read my blog and I while I don’t use my real name, I do use the real names of my pets. One blog is specific to Puerto Vallarta (where I live) and the other is more personal and general. I censor myself in that I don’t mention sex (grandma reads), drugs & other illegal items (several reasons, grandma, my stalkers and because I never do or smoke anything illegal, ever. er really) and I don’t mention my friend’s names to protect their privacy.

  • mandy says:

    you’re so pretty. I knew you would be, but geesh.

    Wowee.

    Okay, I use my real names, but I am afraid I might talk nasty about someone I know and then they find out..that kinda thing. I always write as if my pastor were reading, just in case he is. It’s an accountabilty sort of thing. BUT I SO relate when people are honest and write about personal stuff..like the whole vagina thing. I always comment if I relate. I’m just too chicken to blog about my own hoo-hoo.

    But I love reading about yours. ha

  • Susan says:

    Okay, everyone assumes that you’re the bride in the picture. I’m going to assume that this is a picture from a friends’ wedding or one you pulled off the internet. I’m brilliant that way. I’m sure you’re just as gorgeous as the girl in the picture.

    I’ve always wondered why I don’t just share our real names on my blog. Who the fuck cares, right? Except I guess my kids’ business is really their own and not mine to publish to strangers. I use my real name which is exotic and beautiful – Susan.

  • Kyddryn says:

    I’m a bit of a hodge-podge. Kyddryn isn’t the name on my ID, but it IS the name on every Internet thing I do, and has been since I first started toddling on the Net. It’s also been my pen-name on the rare occasions I was published. Very rare. Exceedingly rare. So rare, it hasn’t happened in almost twenty years. Ahem. Where was I?

    Also, I don’t use my real name because, frankly, I just done’ want some people finding me all that easily. I didn’t like them very much when I had to associate with them in my earlier years, so I certainly don’t want to have to deal with them now, online, where I can’t punch them in the head or poison their Wheaties or whatever.

    I only use T’s first initial because it’s HIS privacy, not mine, and I figure if he wants people to know his name he can tell them in my comments, because he reads the blog too (every day, without fail, even when I am beyond bitchy about him, bless his heart) or on his own blog – if he even has one, I have no idea.

    Bird is my son’s actual nickname, although I also call him the Evil Genius, but there are some skeevy creeps out there who would not scruple to take a child’s name and commit credit fraud or some other horrible weirdness, so I don’t use his real name. I also don’t use the real names of anyone who hasn’t given express permission, with the exception of folks who use their name on their own blog (but even then I usually use their nickname or blog name).

    I don’t post pictures of others without their permission, except my kid who doesn’t have a say, and I rarely (used to be never) post a photo of myself because I don’t want to fracture the Internet and garner global resentment over the incident.

    I don’t make things up one my blog and will write about anything at all without censoring myself, and even when it isn’t flattering. Especially if it isn’t flattering to me. I don’t play games or muck about with altering reality, unless it’s to change names. I don’t worry about sugar coating things in case the subject reads the blog – don’t read if you don’t want to see my rather less than varnished thoughts.

    I suppose I could just say who I was and get on with it, but I am STILL a touch paranoid and just can’t bring myself to be completely public. This is funny, because my family and friends know I have a blog, so it’s not like I’m hiding form them.

    Sigh.

    Wordy and confused. Great.

    I’m going to make a foofy rum cocktail and pretend this didn’t happen.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (No, you don’t know me, I have no idea who your are, and we never went to high school together) (I know this was long, but you DID ask!)

  • I blog anonymous because people in my real probably don’t know I placed my daughter for adoption and I don’t really want my blog to be the way they find out.

    However, it doesn’t FEEL that anonymous all the time because I blog using what now feels like my internet alterego. Thanksgivingmom is my email addy, my blog name, forum name, all kids of stuff, so around the adoption community I’m pretty traceable and not that anonymous.

    But I still password protect all my pics and stuff – although I’ll give just about anyone that asks the password. Makes MUCH sense, huh? Yeah, I didn’t think so :)

  • Becky….yer so purdeee.

    Yowser. I knew I liked flirtin’ with you on the net, but now I know why. Heh.

    It’s no secret that I’m Tanis Miller. I like to advertise to the world I’m a redneck.

    But my hubs still hasn’t accepted my logic, so for those who don’t know us in real life, he’s Boo.

  • Valerie says:

    I blog a combination of anonymously and not. People know who I am, but most of the people I talk about are under some sort of pseudonym. Just because in like, 9th grade, two of my friends started reading my blog and got really mad at me (it wasn’t even about them!).

    I wish I were more open, but it’s not time yet.

  • g says:

    I blog anonymously because I am a movie star and I am so sick of the paps tracking me down…

    no wait…

    I blog anonymously because of my job. I don’t want them all to know I am a soft hearted blubbering idiot. I like my cold, ice queen image :)

    no wait…

    I blog anonymously because I feel like I will be more open and less filtered.

    Or, all of the above. :)

  • shelli says:

    nah, I figure if people want to find me, they can, you know? The only thing I keep private are face pictures of Malka, out of respect for her birth mom, since she never told her family she was pg, we don’t want someone to stumble across a picture and say – Wow! V, I saw this baby on the internet, and I’d SWEAR she was yours!

    No drama desired, but other than that, I’m a little too open sometimes. ;)

  • LAS says:

    I have to blog anonymously because of my job. I can’t run the risk of being identified by a client. Sometimes I put pictures of myself up and then take them down a few hours later.

  • Natalie says:

    It’s funny, I’m kind of the opposite of LilSas. I don’t like my food to touch, sure… but I hate compartmentalizing my life. I tried it, it doesn’t fit me. I can’t stand trying to remember when to be this person and when to be that person and it just felt so damn fake.

    So I’m not anonymous at all. Our last name is out there too. I blog by my first name. I use real names of me and my hubby and the dogs. (I do use pseudonames for the other people in my life, because I know they would NOT be comfortable with their real names being used, and that’s frankly not my call to make for them anyways. So fake names it is.)

    The only caveat to that is that I do have my blog hidden from google. (I check it, now and then.) It’s certainly not fool-proof, and it’s not meant to be. If someone dug a little they could probably find it. But I’d prefer if my blog not be the FIRST thing that comes up in a google search, that’s all. I do have other personal sites, and those are listed. My blog is just a little bit… raw… to read without knowing me. That’s all.

  • Carrie says:

    I let it all hang out. The good, the bad, and sometimes the ugly. Just like in real life, sometimes I don’t think before I speak (write) but mostly I’ve been pretty harmless. Although I do crave, on occasion, to be anon – just to vent a little . . . but that’s what friends and cocktails are for, right?

  • Lance says:

    I began blogging anonymously – not wanting to make any connections between me in real life and me online (does that sound bad?). I didn’t want to feel like I had to filter what I was saying to conform to what those in real life expect (work acquaintance, for instance). Since then, I would say I now blog only semi-anonymously. My family and some friends know and read my blog. If people try hard enough, you could figure out who I am. And I’m ok with that now. It just took me a little while to get comfortable with it all.

  • Lola says:

    Well, let me start by saying you’re so damn hot that I think I’m in love!

    I only blog semi-anon because I live in a ridiculously small town and my son has to live here, too. If I didn’t have a child, honey, I’d be showing my tits on my blog. I just don’t believe I have the right to make his life potentially miserable if some of the school mommies caught wind of my crazy antics.

    I have no problem being myself and speaking my mind just like I do on my blog when I’m face-to-face with that crowd, but they are so damn rotten and judgmental that I can’t risk them saying shit in front of their kids and having my shy kid have to deal with the fall-out.

    That’s why I had to stop going to the local wine tastings that I had gone to for years and had a ball at my friend’s wine shop until I started seeing all the school moms there giving me the stink-eye. They spit their wine. I guzzle mine! They dress very conservatively. Me, not so much!

    As I post photos of my dogs and my son (only once) and talk so openly about my weird career and my daily life, it’s pathetic how easy it is to figure out who I am, but I have to say that the reaction I get from my friends who know about my blog makes me know I’m doing the right thing. They just don’t get it, and I get the feeling that it freaks them out to the point of saying, who the fuck is she to think she’s so interesting. And they’re supposedly my friends.

  • pamajama says:

    I’m relatively anonymous except for my first name and that’s because 1.) My husband’s job. I would hate to ruin his 35-year career with my big mouth, which is the size of the Grand Canyon, as you know. 2.) My son would be mortified, although he’s probably the most likely to find this. Plus his job.

    3.) My daughter. I even keep all the curtains drawn & don’t allow her in the yard. 4.) My psychosis, which includes fear of nearly everyone & everything. I have never, ever, never wanted to be famous. I care too much when people don’t like me. 5.) The more people who read my blog — In Real Life peeps — the more I feel the need to muzzle myself.

    6.) I would hate for my children to EVER read anything about sex that I’ve written, cause my own mother was way too out there & put it in my face. It was gross. I know one mom whose adult children read her stuff, which is very sexy, & it makes me want to puke a little. I think this means I’m very uptight.

    And now I’ve written a small booklet.

  • I think I blog non-anonymously. Because I’m hoping for a stalker. I just want the attention.

  • Edward says:

    Wow!!! Nice photo….you got it all you lucky girl you….brains, wit, humor, talent and looks! Does your Daver know he got one fine “mama”? Oh, and you know I’m gay right so don’t let it get to your head lol! (Ok only I think I am funny).

    I’m not very anonymous at all. I often struggle with this issue. For right now I blog openly about everything. The blogging forum offers me an outlet to express myself and I get tremendous support and validation from just knowing others read and from those that post comments.

    I also hope that in some way my blog will show other FTM’s that have children and identify as gay/queer that they are not the only one’s. There are lots of us….we are just the minority within the minorty. I also try to provide a few links that may be helpful to others. I know when I was looking to transition I wanted info, pictures, insight, and honesty.

  • kate says:

    yep, you’re cute. are those guys in the photo your new stalkers you acquired since you outed yourself? if so? yes, please.

    i don’t use the names of my kids on my blog, but only for comic effect. the kindergartner is funnier than owen.

  • Marie says:

    I am anonymous because sometimes I like to bitch about people that know me and I don’t want them getting their panties in a bunch.

    I also get pretty raw in some of my posts and I just feel better if people irl do not know that about me sometimes.

  • The Mommy says:

    I try to be anonymous. This was at my husband’s request and because I respect him and his privacy, that’s the way I’m doing it. I do post pictures of our kids/family because that was the point of the blog. Our families are scattered to the four corners, so I wanted them to at least know what our kids look like and how they’re growing (overnight, it seems!).

    In real life, I’m totally a TMI-type person. I’ll tell you all of the sordid details whether you want to hear them or not! But in the blog world, I keep it about the kids and the sometimes hilarious sometimes tear-jerking stuff they do every.single.day. I sometimes wish I had one that my in-laws didn’t know about so that I could talk about them. I could write a book about the stuff they pull!

    BTW, you’re too cute! Nice to meet you!

  • heather says:

    I am semi-anon. heather is really my name but I change other people’s names. The people who read my blog that personally know me are aware I do this, and it’s mainly to protect them. I see no reason why anyone reading my blog has to know their names – they’re never going to meet them. I also am cautious about revealing my last name or where I live specifically or about posting pictures of people I know because I actually know people who have been stalked, so it’s just about personal safety. But that’s me.

  • Ann says:

    YOU are so hysterical. I hope we get to meet one day girly b/c I love your style. I say ditto to this post. I’m not anon either and my mom does read, but nothing I say shocks her. And I figure if people want to come find me and take on my bipolar cat and our rather dull lives more power to you! The one creepy part about all of this to me is the glimpse it gives the real life crazies in your own life once they come out of the woodwork as in fact crazy. But, oh well. I can take em. :) Happy weekend, sugar.

  • Amanda says:

    Non-anonymous here. I had a hard time deciding, honestly, bc hubby and I both work in law enforcement, and you know….ew. Creepy people I don’t want finding me. I don’t mention my town or last name. Although I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to find. I’d rather no one I know IRL find my blog home, but I must not care THAT much, huh?

  • giggleblue says:

    i’m sure people could find me out if they wanted to. i’m not so open because i don’t want my story to be a freak show exploitation for the world.

  • I used to blog anonymously, and then one of my co-workers quoted my blog in a news article and sourced it. Then one of my other co-workers linked to my blog from his blog and used my real name. So, I was outed in my local newspaper.

    I gave up at that point. Now I try to be a lot more careful because my mom’s friends discuss my blog over coffee. Dammit.

  • I blog anonomously mostly because I worked at a middle school. People who read it know what town I live in, and what I look like, but I haven’t lived here long enough to know too many people. I use nicknames for the people I write about. Hence, “Names Have Been Changed…” The full title was supposed to be “Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Douchebags and Sluts”

  • Lisa says:

    Totally non anon here. I’m just not convinced there are people out there who would be rivited enough to track me down.

  • STE says:

    You are beautiful.

    I’m Sue.

  • Calliope says:

    I totally use a fake name to blog under (but you knew that). I started blogging with a fake name because I wanted the privacy. I didn’t want my family or ex co-workers to stumble across big time details about my lady bits. But that that I have been blogging for years I am getting a lot more relaxed about people knowing who I am. I mean my own Mother even has a blog now! I do have a batch of crazy ex relatives that read my blog and are just WAITING for me to eff up enough so that they can cause a mess…so until I have a book of my own that is about to be published I will remain a fake named blogger.
    xo

  • Holli says:

    I (obviously) use my real name. I don’t generally use my last name, but that is because I have a child that I’d like to keep. I don’t want him getting kidnapped by some crazy psycho. We live in a pretty small town. It wouldn’t be hard to figure out who I am if you know where I live.

    By the way, you’re a lot prettier than I expected. I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not.

  • Mumma Boo says:

    I prefer to keep things vague, myself, mostly out of deference to hubby’s privacy. That being said, the nicknames I have for the kids and the hubby are the same that I use in IRL, so if you’re in New England and hear someone screaming “Cheeks” or “Cenzo” at the top of their lungs, chances are it’s me. And thanks for formally introducing yourself. As they say around here, “You look wicked awesome in that pitcha.”

  • Jenn says:

    I do not blog anonymously exactly. If you came across my blog it would be obvious right away whether you know me or not. I do not use my kids’ real names (I know, it’s hard to believe that their names aren’t actually Monkey and Boo but it’s true!) mainly because I would prefer that most people in my “real life” (who am I kidding? the internet IS my real life) don’t know ALL my business. And my daughter has a sort of unusual name. BUT I don’t make any effort to hide any part of who I am on there. Anything that I think my family/friends in real life wouldn’t want shared, I put in private entries. I’m waaaaaaaay more boring and less stalkable than you so it’s all good.

    Just so you know, I’m simultaneously commenting and googling your name to find your home address. So feel free to just ignore those strange noises in the bushes tomorrow. ;)

  • Hello Aunt Becky!

    I’ve missed you. This is the first I’ve opened my Google reader or stepped inside the blogosphere for three whole weeks!!

    But I’m all caught up on your blog!! :)

    I blog sort of on the DL. I don’t use my family’s real names—-I do use their pictures though.

    I just don’t want my kids to be able to google themselves someday, and be horrified at the things their mother wrote!

    That’s all–no other reason! :)

  • Heza Hekele says:

    Interesting thoughts for sure. I blog semi-anonymously. I use an online alias for myself and tend to use nicknames for kids that don’t belong to me and some friends. I also try not to post the *faces* of most people’s kids, again, not mine, that haven’t given me permission to pimp out their prodegy and/or don’t already blog their own offspring on a public-ish site.

    Those are my own personal basic guidelines, as I am still getting a feel for this blogging thing and have, by no means had a grave amount of traffic on my site to test my own boundaries. Also, I tend to blog more photos than writting, which may be of limited interest to most people that don’t actually know me.

  • PiquantMolly says:

    UGH, you are so HOT. Makes me kind of hate you.

    I’m definitely mostly anonymous. I live in Madison and I’m Molly. Don’t need the ex-husband tracking down my blog.

  • Kristine says:

    I do not blog anonymously. I see no reason to. I post pictures of my kid (I don’t make him wear a burka in the grocery store, so i don’t really see the difference on the blog). My whole name is listed. If you have half a brain you can use information on my site to find my address. I just don’t live in that kind of fear.

  • Coco says:

    Anonymous suits me, though anyone who is remotely familiar with me and my history, even incomplete bits of it, would be able to decipher my online ID faster than you can say “That’s not me.”

    Mostly I started out anonymously as a precaution. Now my online identity has actually become a comfortable part of me, and as many people know me as “Coco” as they do my real name. *shrugs* It’s kind of mysterious and cool. But then I’m easily entertained.

  • tryingin2007 says:

    nice to meet you Becky Sherrick Harks! :)

    why do I blog simply as “p?” more to “protect” DH, b. I am certainly a big fat, infertile nobody, but b is all about being published and making a name for himself in his career. he’s been an author on a few significant medical publications and I don’t think he’d appreciate the fact that I talk openly about his crappy sperm. or his crappy mother.

  • Stefanie says:

    People sure have differing opinions about this. I, however, do not see the point of being anonymous if you’re going to publish a book. I have never been anonymous just because, the whole point to me is to be honest. I have nothing to hide from anxiety to feeling like a bad mom to having a bad mom etc…it’s all part of it. congrats Beck.

  • Denise says:

    Hi Becky. I’m Denise. But you already knew that. ;) I obviously use my real name, and my hubby”s and my kidlets real names. Although I was thinking of renaming my kids, Tylenol and Advil. What do ya think?

    I do have family & friends read my blog, never commenting of course, but due to lovely the stat counter I know when they pop in. Due to that, there are issues/experiences where I feel I *can’t* blog what I’m really feeling as it would piss off the person too much. I’ve often thought of hanging out the current blog and starting another one anonymously, or at least not letting family & certain friends know about it. But that’s way too much of a hassle.

  • Cricket says:

    I don’t use my name, but I indicate where I live with the pictures I use. I don’t mind posting most pictures. I am anon b/c I am a very private person. If I weren’t anon, I would blog less honestly and that wouldn’t be fun. Since last November, I have tried to blog daily and it is wearing me out. I have some catching up to do. Blogging daily has taken some fun out of blogging, but it has also been a good record and recording my life is my prime goal.

    BTW, I was born in St. Charles MO. I had to check out the Wiki map just to see if yours is near mine – it’s not.

  • Ahuva Batya says:

    I feel so…so… disillusioned. All this time I thought your first name was Aunt. YOU LIED TO ME.

  • sara says:

    I love the photo and this post! It made me smile to know that Alex and my little girl Spot share the love of kicking the contraction belt. The two little cuties are kick butt kids :-) I love the fact that you are so open and honest, that’s one of the things I love about you most.

    I am pretty open on my blog – as much as possible. I’m try not to hide too much stuff, and hopefully will continue to do so in the future. As long as I don’t say anything crazy about coworkers of family, I feel like I can be pretty open. It’s too exhausting for me to try to censor too much. ((hugs))

  • I’m fairly anon on my blog due mostly to my career. I say things that would not be considered proper for someone in my position. Also, this is MY outlet and I don’t want that infringed upon by anyone I don’t choose.

    I don’t post my kids names or our correct address b/c of the internet crazy people out there. Just covering my butt.

  • Heather says:

    I dont blog anonymously. If someone wanted to find me thay probably could. I usually take the pictures of my son down after awhile but other than that… yeah… not so much.

    I have a fat, antisocial cat they can have… come and get me….

  • bee says:

    Afraid my mother-in-law will find my blog and leave comments that I don’t post enough pictures. Seriously.

  • Dddiva says:

    I am not ashamed of myself, my life or my feelings. A take it or leave it kind of gal. For one thing I have old-timers and can barely keep up with myself let alone me pretending to be something/someone I am not.
    I’m out there, my family is out there, I’m not always nice but I am honest. I long ago got past the need for approval from others.
    My kids, mom, everyone knows my blog, even the ones who don’t comment on it. My 2 girls who do blog keep up with me and are linked, the others read it. My sister, especially saw a funny side to me that she never really had seen before and we are closer than ever.
    This is how I am in real life I have our names (and a whole blog post on our nicknames because we all have many).
    I can sort of understand that some people who aren’t comfortable with themselves/their choices would choose to post anon, but I am not one of them.

  • chris says:

    I’m not anonymous…And yeah, we’re neighbors. Heck we probably bumped into each other already.

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