One of my oldest friends died last night.

She died and I am angry.

I want to kick the dog. I want to scream at the baby. I want to pull out my hair and punch holes in the walls. I want to ram my car into something, anything. I want to choke the birds who are singing and tell the Universe to fuck off because how dare it be a sunny and beautiful day today. How dare the world keep spinning now that two little boys are to grow up without a mother. I have this untapped chasm of rage that I didn’t know I could possibly feel.

I’ve never felt so angry in my entire life.

My oldest friend died last night.

She was 26.

34 thoughts on “Remember All Those Nights We Cried?

  1. I am so sorry. That is just awful for you, her family and everyone else who will miss her and who loved her. I’ll be thinking of you and her family. 26?? Yikes. That is just way too young. I am so sorry.

  2. I’m so sorry! For you, losing your friend and for her kids, losing their mother. Death is a ridiculously unfair thing. 26 is far too young. *hugs*

  3. Sometimes the universe is a horribly unfair place to be. I wish I had something more useful to offer than internet condolances and a virtual hug, but I hope they are better than nothing.

  4. oh no! I am soooo sorry!

    I remember looking around me as I wandered through the mall in a daze, looking for something to take to my best friend after her baby died. How can people keep going about their day when my world was falling apart? Could they not see that some of the light just went out? Your anger is understandable to me.

    I am remembering your friend and her boys. I know it’s not much but it’s all I can do.

    Hugs and I’m truly sorry.

  5. Oh Becky dear. Ross and I give our deepest sympathies. It’s presumptuous, but I wish that I could be there to give you a hug.

  6. Oh Becky. What a horrible thing to have to deal with. I am so sorry. For you, for her, for her boys and family. You are in my thoughts.

  7. I’m sad, and you can be mad all you want, you are allowed.

    I’m really sorry for all those that she touched, she will be missed.

  8. I just wanted to say I am very sorry for your loss Becky. These things are never fair and you have every right to feel angry. I’ll be thinking of you.

  9. I dont know you Becky but have been reading your blog and been lol at the funny bits and just wanting to give you a great big hug and share your tears with you over the loss of your freind. Its so hard when our favourite people pass over especially when its at young age. she will always be with you in spirit I hope you can get through this alright and it sounds like you have a good support network around you. Keep up the blogging stay strong, and lots of healing energy sent your way

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