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Remember All Those Nights We Cried?

February10

One of my oldest friends died last night.

She died and I am angry.

I want to kick the dog. I want to scream at the baby. I want to pull out my hair and punch holes in the walls. I want to ram my car into something, anything. I want to choke the birds who are singing and tell the Universe to fuck off because how dare it be a sunny and beautiful day today. How dare the world keep spinning now that two little boys are to grow up without a mother. I have this untapped chasm of rage that I didn’t know I could possibly feel.

I’ve never felt so angry in my entire life.

My oldest friend died last night.

She was 26.

posted under Why, Yes, My Middle Names ARE Deep And Meaningful!

34 Comments to

“Remember All Those Nights We Cried?”

On February 10th, 2008 at 5:51 pm Juli Says:
Oh no. Becky, I am SO sorry.
On February 10th, 2008 at 5:56 pm Tracy Says:
That is awful. I am so, so sorry.
On February 10th, 2008 at 5:12 pm KT Says:
I am so sorry. That is just awful for you, her family and everyone else who will miss her and who loved her. I’ll be thinking of you and her family. 26?? Yikes. That is just way too young. I am so sorry.
On February 10th, 2008 at 6:45 pm Cricket Says:
I am so sorry for your loss as well as her family’s. To say she was too young wouldn’t do it justice.
On February 10th, 2008 at 7:23 pm TheRamblingHousewife Says:
So so sorry to hear about this . . .:(
On February 10th, 2008 at 6:28 pm magpie Says:
I’m so sorry. Be angry. And take care of yourself.
On February 10th, 2008 at 7:43 pm Jenn Says:
I’m so sorry! For you, losing your friend and for her kids, losing their mother. Death is a ridiculously unfair thing. 26 is far too young. *hugs*
On February 10th, 2008 at 9:01 pm electriclady Says:
I’m so sorry. Life is really fucking unfair.
On February 10th, 2008 at 9:07 pm honeywine Says:
Sorry isn’t enough…but it’s all I can give. I’m sorry for your loss.
On February 10th, 2008 at 8:20 pm Angela Says:
Oh. Could there have been a worse time for you to have to deal with something like this? God. I am so sorry.
On February 10th, 2008 at 10:11 pm Melissa C Says:
Sometimes the universe is a horribly unfair place to be. I wish I had something more useful to offer than internet condolances and a virtual hug, but I hope they are better than nothing.
On February 10th, 2008 at 10:32 pm Heather Says:
I’m so sorry for your friend, her family (and children), and you – you’ll all be close in thought.
On February 11th, 2008 at 12:57 am Jessi Louise Says:
At such a young age and with two little boys, that is awful. I’m so sorry for your loss and for her family. So terrible.
On February 11th, 2008 at 1:57 am shay Says:
oh no! I am soooo sorry!

I remember looking around me as I wandered through the mall in a daze, looking for something to take to my best friend after her baby died. How can people keep going about their day when my world was falling apart? Could they not see that some of the light just went out? Your anger is understandable to me.

I am remembering your friend and her boys. I know it’s not much but it’s all I can do.

Hugs and I’m truly sorry.
On February 11th, 2008 at 2:12 am Karen Says:
I am so sorry. That is totally unfair!

(Hugs.)
On February 11th, 2008 at 3:24 am baseballmom Says:
Oh my god, I’m so sorry…
On February 11th, 2008 at 6:32 am MsPrufrock Says:
I’m sorry Becky. It’s so unbelievably unfair.
On February 11th, 2008 at 8:08 am Emily Says:
I am so sorry. There is little anyone can say. So, so young.
On February 11th, 2008 at 9:17 am Kate Says:
Oh Becky dear. Ross and I give our deepest sympathies. It’s presumptuous, but I wish that I could be there to give you a hug.
On February 11th, 2008 at 9:35 am Pauline Says:
Oh Becky. What a horrible thing to have to deal with. I am so sorry. For you, for her, for her boys and family. You are in my thoughts.
On February 11th, 2008 at 12:25 pm Rayne of Terror Says:
Oh dear, I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope her memory can be a blessing for you.
On February 11th, 2008 at 1:40 pm Kim Says:
I’m sad, and you can be mad all you want, you are allowed.

I’m really sorry for all those that she touched, she will be missed.
k
On February 11th, 2008 at 3:25 pm Amy Says:
I just wanted to say I am very sorry for your loss Becky. These things are never fair and you have every right to feel angry. I’ll be thinking of you.
On February 11th, 2008 at 5:32 pm SaraS-P Says:
I am so sorry, Becky.
On February 11th, 2008 at 11:28 pm Lindz Says:
very sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend.
On February 12th, 2008 at 2:23 pm baggage Says:
I am so so sorry.
On February 12th, 2008 at 3:17 pm Andria Says:
OMG, that sucks.

I am so sorry.
On February 17th, 2008 at 12:25 pm Redneck Mommy Says:
I’m so sorry I missed this, my friend.

It’s been a bad week. But not as bad as your’s I’m afraid.

I am so sorry.
On February 18th, 2008 at 5:20 pm Prolifique Says:
Jesus, I’m so terribly sorry.
On February 23rd, 2008 at 8:54 pm tessa Says:
I dont know you Becky but have been reading your blog and been lol at the funny bits and just wanting to give you a great big hug and share your tears with you over the loss of your freind. Its so hard when our favourite people pass over especially when its at young age. she will always be with you in spirit I hope you can get through this alright and it sounds like you have a good support network around you. Keep up the blogging stay strong, and lots of healing energy sent your way
Tessa
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