Dear Fans of The David Cook Who Have Found Themselves On My Useless Blog,

I feel I should probably edit this and explain while I am slightly wasted on Green Death Flavored Nyquil (SRSLY, you can put a man on the fucking moon and that stuff still tastes like butthole? EXPLAIN) why the shit I have used American Idol Winner The David Cook’s name to Prank The Internet for Charity.

Please don’t sue me, Fans of The David Cook.

Fans of The David Cook, a couple of weeks ago, I wrote a very stupid post to John C. Mayer, whom I have waged a very pointless war with for many, many years, because he wrote a douchy song that probably got him laid 52,214 times. I don’t care that he got the poon-tang. I care that the song made my EAR DRUMS BLEED OH MY GOD IT WAS SO BAD.

Then, see, Fans of The David Cook, in my letter to John C. Mayer, I wrote that I decided to lift my ban on John C. Mayer because I discovered that he didn’t suck so badly. In fact, I hated to admit that John C. Mayer was kinda…funny. So, I told him I wanted to be his friend KNOWING JOHN C MAYER WOULDN’T READ MY CRAPPY BLOG.

Well, in my letter, Fans of The David Cook, I also used his name 76 times. Which Google read as “Aunt Becky is a fan-girl, give her a spot on Page 1.”

I am not a John C. Mayer fan-girl. I found this hilarious, Fans of The David Cook, so The Pranksters and I, we pranked the Internet using what we called a John C. Mayer by tricking Google again, Fans of The David Cook (I can show you how, Fans of The David Cook).

So, when I decided to raise Charity Awareness by doing a John C. Mayer, I realized I couldn’t Prank Charity with a John C. Mayer. That was BAD BAD BAD. John C. Mayer = VD, not CHARITY. I had to rename my prank with a celebrity that did charity work.

My brain is very small, Fans of the David Cook. I turned to the only place that I could think to go: The Twitter. I asked The Twitter who I should use as my mascot, knowing if I chose no one, we would all call it John C. Mayer again. Clearly, I could not do this.

The one celebrity with multiple votes was your favorite, The David Cook. I assume that he is your favorite, since you are his fans and I don’t think anyone is a fan of John C. Mayer but John C. Mayer and myself who has vowed to say NICE things about John C. Mayer since uh, two weeks ago…ish.

Since John C. Mayer didn’t sue me for using his name in conjunction with various unkind references to, well, John C. Mayer, I am feverishly hoping that American Idol, winner and (according to The Twitter) charity support The David Cook does not sue me for connecting him with charity. And, uh, me. Plus, I’m pretty sure he should thank me for being the one who downloaded his song “Come Back To Me” once. I’m clearly the one who made it go Gold.

OBVIOUSLY.

Fans of The David Cook, I have violated my own “stay off The Internet when you are high on over-the-counter-cough-medicines” agreement with myself and I apologize for this. I’ll apologize more when I wake up and read this. I’m going to go and watch some incredibly gruesome slasher movies and mope on my couch about irritating colds.

xoxo,

AB

So, Pranksters, this is the time when we Prank the Internet again. This time, it’s for charity and the chance to win a full year of ice cream from Cold Stone ice cream. Full entry details for Pulling a The David Cook for Charity are here. The history of Pulling a John C. Mayer is here.

The best entries for Pulling a The David Cook For Charity will be posted on Band Back Together.

Anyone does not have a blog (or does not want to use their own blog) can post their entries on Band Back Together or Facebook. Please leave a link to your entry for Pulling a The David Cook for charity on this post and remember to visit each other, Stumble, Digg, and comment on each other to raise some awareness for the charities like the original #JohnCMayer-ing post.

Because my brain is very small, it took me quite awhile to figure out which of the charities I normally support to pull a The David Cook on. I am a proud March of Dimes Mom. I’m counting down the years until I can join Doctors Without Borders. I’ve spoken out in support of Save the Children before and I’ll do it again without hesitation.

But I wanted to choose a charity that needed more exposure, and both the March of Dimes and Doctors Without Borders have a huge web presence and I wanted to use this opportunity to bring some smaller charities out into the public eye.

I wanted to choose a charity that worked with neural tube defects or encephaloceles as clearly, this has affected my family quite a lot. Googling “charity encephalocele” brings up, you guessed it, my shitty blog. Likewise with “charity neural tube defects.” Discouraging. But, it only further resolves that my work with our new site will be that much more important.

So, I am supporting two other charities which peripherally support children and families affected by neural tube defects, encephaloceles, anencephaly and many other birth defects.

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep is an non-profit organization that I’ve supported for many years. Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep is a network of volunteer professional photographers that travel to the hospital when a baby is stillborn or born too sick to survive to take free professional photographs for the family to remember their child by. For these families, the professional portraits that Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep provides are some of the only keepsakes that they are able to remember their child by.

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep believes that these portraits are an important, integral part of the healing aspect of grief and grieving. Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep always accepts volunteer photographers. Awareness of Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep photographers by medical professionals can make the difference in the lives of many grieving families, so please, spread the word about this awesome charity.

The second charity I wanted to highlight is called Birth Defects Research for Children, Inc, and it’s a flipping awesome resource for parents of children with many different types of birth defect. Birth Defects Research for Children is a non-profit organization that provides parents and expectant parents with information about a ton of different birth defects. It also has a matching program for parents of children with similar birth defects.

The coolest part of Birth Defects Research for Children is the National Birth Defects Registry that they run. It’s a research project that collects information on different birth defects to see if there are patterns in the occurrence of birth defects. It’s incredibly important epidemiological information, as the National Birth Defects Registry has already detected clusters of birth defects in communities with toxic environmental exposures and in children of mothers exposed to certain medications during pregnancy.

The motto of the Birth Defects Research for Children, Inc is “Because Every Birth Defect Has A Reason,” and it’s true.

So, Pranksters, let’s get our charity on. I’ll throw your links down below, yo.

*flings glitter*

Pulling A The David Cook for Group B Strep International

Pulling A The David Cook for the AFS-USA

Pulling A The David Cook for To Write Love On Her Arms

Pulling A The David Cook for End The Backlog

Pulling A The David Cook for Heroes for Children

Pulling A The David Cook for Grayson Humane Society

Pulling A The David Cook for Love/Avon Army of Women AND Men

Pulling A The David Cook for The Susan G Komen for the Cure

Pulling A The David Cook for Save Haven Rescue Zoo

Pulling A The David Cook for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society

Pulling a The David Cook for Crossing the Finish Line

Pulling a The David Cook for Garden of Dreams Foundation

Pulling a The David Cook for the Fistula Foundation

Pulling a The David Cook for the Epilepsy Foundation!

Pulling The David Cook for First Step

Pulling a The David Cook for Just Give

Pulling a The David Cook for NILMDTS

Pulling a The David Cook for Friends of Maddie and Aspie Help

Pulling a The David Cook for Ability Found

Pulling a The David Cook for Capital Candlelighters

Pulling a The David Cook for Project Purse and Boots

Pulling a The David Cook for Little Patriots Embraced