I’ve wanted one of those disco shower heads ever since SkyMall happily informed me that they exist.

Think about it. No longer would you have to take ORDINARY showers! You’d be able to rock out with your cock out (alternately: jam out with your clam out) as you got clean. If I owned one of those puppies, I’d make EVERYONE who came over take a shower. TOGETHER!

Okay, so maybe not together. Also: I should totally write ads.

Anyway, I was perusing the Think Geek website, looking for the perfect gift for someone now missing a vestigial organ. (one could argue that I could have been talking about my tooth, but as my tooth was not a proper organ, that is neither here nor there).

There it was. In all it’s shimmering glory. Red and blue LED Showerhead. On fucking sale.

BOOM, Motherfuckers!

Of course I bought it.

It arrived yesterday. I spent the afternoon fantasizing about the disco shower I was gonna take. I got my new iPod dock loaded with Britney Spears and prepared to get up with the get down (or is it get down, get down?).

That was, of course, until The Daver evilly thwarted my plans.

As we ate our dinner, he dropped the bomb on me:

Aunt Becky: “OMG. I’m SO gonna take a disco shower. I should invite The Twitter over for a disco shower with me!”

The Daver: (looks at the packaging)

Aunt Becky: “Did I tell you I’m planning Amelia’s birthday party? Maybe we can have it in the shower!”

The Daver: (keeps looking at the packaging)

Aunt Becky: “This is seriously the best day ever. I’m gonna invite my parents over to look at my shower!”

The Daver: “This showerhead doesn’t have a massage setting.”

Aunt Becky: “So? Neither does our current one.”

The Daver: “Yes, it does.”

Aunt Becky: “I’ve lived here for five years and you never bothered to mention that?”

The Daver: “I thought you knew.”

Aunt Becky: “…”

The Daver: “Apparently, you didn’t know.”

The Guy On My Couch Ben: “I knew that.”

The Daver: “See?”

Aunt Becky: “I take it I’m not getting my disco showerhead.”

The Daver: “….”

The Guy On My Couch Ben: “….”

Aunt Becky: “You guys all suck.”

35 thoughts on “Panic! At The Disco (Shower Head)

  1. I wonder if the massage setting is a guy thing: Chebbar’s the only one who’s ever used it here. Which then makes me wonder WHY they’re so attached to the massage setting. Which then makes my brain weep and causes me to shut down. >_<

  2. Dude. DUDE. I don’t care about the massage shower head. Bring that disco shower head over to my place! Then I can take a disco shower. And you’d be welcome to take a shower at my place anytime you needed a disco fix. WIN – WIN. (This sounds way more stalker than intended, but I’m just going to run with it.)

  3. How about hooking it up to a sink or better yet a faucet outside so you can disco shower it up for the whole neighborhood to see?! And…you can have outdoor disco shower parties with tiki torches and a fire pit and dancing around the disco shower head.

    Too much?

  4. Yes. They suck. A disco shower head is one of those things we HAVE TO HAVE in life JUST BECAUSE THEY EXIST!!!

    And for the record “jam out with your clam out” just made me spit bread crumbs all over my computer!

  5. Hah, go for the Disco. IF those 2 Guys knew it was a massage head, you would know because they can’t even put down the toilet seat, what makes you think they would turn the shower head back to regular. Or as I would do when Someone won’t change something…it mysteriously breaks and must be replaced. Disco Baby!

  6. I LOVE this shower head! It would go perfect with that blingy toilet seat you wrote about once! Wait….. maybe this is why all those fancy houses have two shower heads in the master bath!

  7. They make a shower head adapter that you can add so you can have BOTH the massage and the disco AT THE SAME TIME!

    The massage comes in handy, but not for its intended use… just sayin’…

  8. Mommy MUST have!!

    And, YES! You should write ads, cause you sold me (and made me spit water out of my nose – note to self, dont drink water while reading the vodka blog)!

  9. I think it is obvious that anyone can have a massage shower head but only a few chosen can have a disco shower head. You do the swap out yourself, and be all like you don’t know anything about it. Make sure to throw the old one out with some messy garbage. 🙂

  10. Tell the Daver to hook the massage thing up to the laundry sink or something, if he wants it so much. And why does the Guy on the Couch know about the massage showerhead?

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