In order to know what other moms think, I tend to lurk on some “mommy blogs.” It helps me not to feel so alone in the SAHM world, considering most of my friends have big girl jobs and no kids. It’s a hotly debated subject, the stay at home moms vs. the working mothers, one that I don’t have much to say about. Both are hard, and usually I relish that I have no hard deadlines and bosses that I can ignore if I need to.
Today, however, I want nothing more than to take a sick day. I want to pull the covers up over my head and take the rest of the day off. I want to be responsible for nothing and no one. Alas, I cannot as I have no backup.
I’ll keep on truckin’ as I always do, and tomorrow will be a brighter day, I just know it.
Ben starts school again in a couple of weeks, this time as a big old first grader, which is actually aging Dave more than it’s aging me (this happens to be a first). With the almost 6 year old age has come the almost 6 year old attitude which is_getting_old.
I actually found myself in an arguement with Ben recently regarding the actual need for roller skates in order to rollerskate. I was suprisingly pro, he anti. What was mainly interesting about this interaction was that I am all but convinced that I had partoketh in this converasation previously, with his father, the king of “Well, actually, Becky…” conversations. If I were to mention that the sky happened to be blue today, he’d come up with all kinds of charts and graphs to prove “Well, actually, Becky the sky is green.” Or yellow. Or motherfucking pink. Needless to say, I find this to be incredibly grating.
With the addition of actual school has come the need for school supplies, something I had expected to relish buying. Until I realized that Ben’s school has ALWAYS requested that we purchase things like “snorth-fibber queesile grinder,” in a delicate azure. Never an easy purchase, now made way more difficult than necessary by the school.
Of the approximately 105 item checklist, I have now only acquired a handful of items. The rest seem to elude me. Where exactly does one purchase a (and I am not kidding here) 3 subject, plastic cover, wide rule, red notebook? According to the worker that I enlisted to help me, they don’t have them in red. At least at Target.
I guess it’s a good thing that I started early, but I am seriously considering suggesting that the school purchase said items for us and WE WILL PAY THEM DIRECTLY. Hell, considering the extreme amount of gas I will have to buy to head to 1,984 stores to find their blasted MEAD BRAND ONLY!!!!! composition book, I’d be willing to pay more than retail price. And for a cheap ass like me to say so, it must be bad.
I know that we don’t speak a lot, if ever, but seriously I’ve been trying to get ahold of You these days. I know, I know, I might not be Your most pious follower, but hey, remember a couple years ago when I READ THE BIBLE COVER TO COVER? I do. Sure, it was for a class (as an aside here, God, I know the teacher may have been a more God-loving person than I, but his class was basically just regurgitating whatever he interpreted to be the meaning of the Bible. It wasn’t very informational.), but still I READ IT. And yeah, I probably didn’t see what a lot of the people who make church unpleasant were getting at with the no abortions, no same-sex marriages, etc, but maybe it was just my untrained eyes.
Although maybe I wasn’t baptised, You must recognize that this was my hippie parents decision, not my own. See, I even GOT MARRIED IN A CHURCH AND STUFF! And I married into a Religious Family! So, I’m not all bad!
Okay, so here it goes: I need Your help. I have this baby, this high needs baby named Alexander, and I adore him much as I adore his brother. But this baby, cute and sweet as he is, does not sleep. Like ever. I have tried many different things to make him sleep, but to no avail. And God, I’m tired. Really tired. Dangerously tired. I’m not going to complain about the isolation, the inability to do anything fun anymore, or the constant needs of said baby, IF YOU HELP HIM TO SLEEP.
Please, please, please, let this kid sleep. No naps? Fine. Just allow me 3-4 sweet hours straight each night. This waking every 45 minutes to an hour is killing me slowly. Seriously, I’m about 4 hours away from a trip to the nuthouse. This just isn’t pretty.
If You help me, I’ll join a church. Just let me know which one is a good one. I’ll EVEN WAKE UP AND GO TO CHURCH EACH SUNDAY! For me, as You know, this is a Big Thing.