Thanks be to the Powers of the Pathology Lab, I got a call bright and bleary this morning from my OB. I’m only Mildly Abnormal. Which, you know, isn’t QUITE true, but fair enough. The bleeding problem is still, apparently, A Big Ass Problem, so I will be following up with her again in 6 weeks.
(note to self: do NOT google “severe bleeding disorders.”*)
Maybe it’s actually lupus? (that may have been funny only to me.)
*too late. ACK!
Aunt Becky: “Here.” (shoves a piece of paper toward The Daver)
The Daver: “What’s this?” (looks down at the paper)
AB: “The number I was promising you.” Looks around as though the air might provide her with the words she’s forgotten. It’s clear from the vapid expression on her face and the drool on the side of her mouth that she’s tired, high or both. “The…um….DOCTOR.”
AB: “The…UROLOGIST. About your old snip-snip.” (makes cutting gesture with fingers)
TD: “I can’t quite…make out…the…what does this say?” (he squints theatrically)
AB (leans over TD’s shoulder and notes that the numbers are both well formed and completely legible) “The number is….” (rattles off phone number)
TD: “But what is the doctors NAME?” (squints theatrically again)
AB: (exasperated) “I don’t know, Chantell, Chanelle? Does it matter?”
TD: (cryptically) “It matters VERY much…” (walks away)
AB: (sighs) “…guess I should look into that IUD…”
What’s mildly abnormal about YOU today, Internet?