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One Of These Things Are Not Like The Other

September28

(Scene: 6PM in hotel conference room. Five people sit around a table introducing themselves to an audience)

Girl 1: “I’m from Think Geek. I’m responsible for all of the social media from Think Geek. I also brought awesome swag.”

Girl 2: “I’m from NASA. I work with the NASA blog and Twitter account.”

Guy 1: “I’m from Wired.com.”

Girl 3 (uncomfortably looks at hands): “I’m um…Aunt Becky. From Mommy Wants Vodka. I write a thoroughly mediocre blog.”

(audience stares at her)

Girl 3: “It’s um, a MOMMY blog.”

(audience stares)

Girl 3 (laughs uncomfortably): “Sometimes I write about my vagina.”

(audience stares)

Girl 3: “I have an amazing Band of Merry Pranksters. On my blog. They’re the best people on the Internet.”

(audience glares)

Girl 3: “Except, um, you.”

(audience is beginning to leave)

Girl: “I’m in a bathing suit holding a chainsaw in my Twitter avatar.”

(audience smiles and nods happily)

Works every time.

posted under Aunt Becky Has VD

18 Comments to

“One Of These Things Are Not Like The Other”

On September 28th, 2011 at 1:02 pm brianne Says:
Haha! They were intimidated by your glowing sense of awesome.
On September 28th, 2011 at 1:03 pm Andrea Says:
How awesome was the swag? Was she just puffing herself up, or did she deliver the goods?
On September 28th, 2011 at 1:18 pm Meg Says:
I’m still stuck on wondering what the ThinkGeek swag was…did she pass out canned unicorn meat or bacon scented pens?
Kidding…sort of…Yay for Aunt Becky holding her own against a non prankster audience!
On September 28th, 2011 at 1:31 pm Pete In Az Says:
Cool…

Is it a Stihl?

The saw…
On September 28th, 2011 at 1:47 pm Meg Says:
Bacon scented pens…yes!

WTG Aunt Becky! Bikini chainsaw brings ’em back to the table every time. I’m sure you rocked their world. ^_^
On September 28th, 2011 at 4:09 pm Margaret (@goodbadfamily) Says:
Girl 3: “I’m a bad ass bitch whose followers would cut you in a heartbeat for giving me the side eye. No. For realz.”

Margaret (@goodbadfamily)
On October 1st, 2011 at 2:24 pm katrina Says:
Fuck Yeah!
On September 28th, 2011 at 6:47 pm Maura Says:
““Sometimes I write about my vagina.”

That made me snort in a most unladylike manner.
On September 28th, 2011 at 7:56 pm Kate Says:
Applauding all you said, except for when you left out how you were giving out chainsaws as swag. I’m a tad bit disappointed in that part.
On September 28th, 2011 at 8:32 pm Kristin Says:
Of course one of those things was not like the other. You trumped them with your awesomeness.
On September 29th, 2011 at 1:29 am Whitney Soup Says:
just couldn’t stop yourself, huh? lol
On September 29th, 2011 at 8:44 am Tom Says:
Never underestimate the power of the avatar! You ROCK!
On September 29th, 2011 at 10:58 am Paula @ thewilyweez Says:
Nothing makes friends quite like mentioning that you have a chainsaw!
On September 29th, 2011 at 11:25 am Marta Says:
Its an awesome picture and you don’t write a mediocre blog. You write a fucking awesome one.
On September 30th, 2011 at 1:28 pm Megan (Best of Fates) Says:
REALLY? The vagina wasn’t an in?

Sometimes I just don’t understand this world.
On October 1st, 2011 at 10:07 am Quietgirl Amy Whatnot Says:
That was just how it was when I came to gradschool, except for the chainsaw thing. Also the vagina thing. 🙂
On October 1st, 2011 at 12:46 pm Cindy Says:
That twitter avatar is full of the awesome, Becky.

Also, NASA has a twitter account? Who knew? However, I did know that Mommy Wants Vodka, and she drinks because you cry. So there.
On October 1st, 2011 at 2:29 pm katrina Says:
Ha! The only thing better……. you whip off your overcoat to reveal your awesome bod in the swimsuit, your phoenix tat and of course your chainsaw…