On Friday, I saw one of those things that made me happiest in the pants: my friend Brittany over at Barefoot Foodie (who, if you don’t know her, you should, because she’s full of The Awesome, and you should trust me because I’m a doctor) had actually been featured on a Social Media Site (this one was Shamable).
Now this was beyond fucking awesome to me because Brittany isn’t a cookie-cutter blogger. She uses words like “fuck” and “asshole” and peppers her posts with all sorts of interesting imagery that make her as endearing to read as a doe-eyed puppy. But much fucking funnier.
This means that maybe–JUST MAYBE–the media is going to stop paying so much attention to blogs of user submitted photos and start focusing on blogs with REAL CONTENT. You know, WORDS? Because you can only look at pictures of cute kitties with funny captions for SO LONG until you realize that there is another world out there–a world of people who use words, REAL words to write with.
And that people like to read those words, even when those words are dirty. It doesn’t matter how profane we are, PEOPLE READ US. I like to imagine that if she, or I changed our MO and started simply writing posts like,
“Today, I looked at my beautiful glorious children who shone like diamonds in the sun, and then I smiled.”
(insert over-processed picture of my Photo-shopped beaming kids)
I’d lose my Band of Merry Pranksters. Why? That’s fucking VANILLA. Sure, it’s a fine sentence, I GUESS, if you like boring, old tripe that’s pretty much the same thing you can find at any other flowery blog.
No, you come here to read this sentence:
“My crotch parasites shrieked and wailed as they all dog-piled onto my pants (oh, no, not my WHORE pants that are STILL fucking MIA!), that had pooled around my ankles as I tried in vain to take a crap without an audience. I laughed as they fought over the prime spot, closest to the bowl of the toilet, and thought, “I guess I’ll take dump alone in about 15 years, eh?”"
There’s a difference, clearly, and that’s what keeps YOU here (the good ones, at least) and bloggers like Brittany and I off the radar of the social media sites and the mainstream media sites. We’re too…profane, I guess. Not cookie-cutter enough. We swear, we curse, and we talk about the sort of stuff other people don’t. It’s why you read us, and why I read you.
Sometimes, I am marginally funny. Sometimes I shock you. Sometimes, I am heartfelt and then I make you nervous that I might have had a lobotomy and lost some of my brain function. Either way, I write the hell out of my blog. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s all Your Aunt Becky.
I write because I have to. I write because I love it. I write because I don’t know how not to. I write because that is what I do. I am damn proud of it. My ickle blog is a labor of love. My Band of Pranksters are my friends. They inspire me.
To be able to Write Hard and to do it genuinely, you have to do it without fear. Do I get people who come here and hate me? Of course I do. It’s not terribly often, and typically on posts over five years old but I have been called names and insulted. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt, but I’d also be lying if I said it hurt a lot. But if someone coming and trying to hurt me is the worst thing that happens to me today, well, shit, that’s a damn good day, Pranksters.
In the end, so fucking what? Plenty of people don’t like Your Aunt Becky. The haters can take a number.
To those of you who have your own blog, I encourage you to Write Hard. Write because you love it. Write because it fulfills you. Write because it makes you happy and because without it, you feel like your arm is missing and your pants are on backwards. Write because you’re empty inside when you don’t. Stick your neck out and say what you mean. Be authentic. Be REAL. Show the world who you are. Write without fear.
Write Hard, Pranksters. Write Hard.