I’ve worked at schools with autistic kids and I swear autistic kids are 1000′x better than any ‘normal’ kid any day of the week. For some reason, they would latch on to me and I loved that. I loved it that I somehow connected to the most disconnected kids in the classroom better than all the other teachers and staff in the whole entire building.

There was one girl who was about 7 and she still wasn’t potty trained and she was DEATHLY AFRAID of the bathroom. So every single day for the entire school year, I worked on that. . .I would get her to hold my hand and just walk to the bathroom door. The next step was she would walk into the bathroom with me and then run out. . .but she’d always walk in! The next step was she would wash her hands (This was a major thing for her!). Once someone flushed the toilet and she ran out frantic, but returned to check things out. We inspected the toilet and talked about the toilet (she didn’t talk though) and one day she flushed the toilet. This was toward the end of the year and she still had no desire to actually sit on the toilet. . .

Anyway, the next year, I had moved 100 miles away and came to visit the school and kids on a day off. As soon as I walked into the room She said COME COME COME COME and she took my hand and took me to the bathroom, pulled down her pants and went potty, flushed the toilet and washed her hands. . .

I was so proud and excited that I almost started crying. She’s been using the potty ever since.

**I think she wanted to use the potty because I think she thought that’s why I left and didn’t come back**

I still think about her and wonder how she’s doing. It’s been about 10 years.

Wow you toured Europe w/ your cello? That is pretty impressive, you must have been very very good. Can I call you Aunt Helen from now on? (Mad Props if you get that reference)

I am curious as to where your son is on the autistic spectrum. I know that is personal but I’m just admitting that I am curious about it.

I am proud of him with his music! Strings is something I’ve always wanted to learn.

Aw, you sound so blissfully happy when you speak of Ben in this post. I love it!

And bonus: orchestra =/= interpretive dance

Becky, thou has made me tear up. I played (and rarely play) violin/fiddle from about the age that Ben is and onward. It’s a wonderful outlet for so many things, and it’s fairly magical that he’s already found a passion.

I am so glad that he has something that is so awesome to him. Something that he is amazing at. Something he loves.

And that it soothes his soul as well as yours? Even better.

What a beautiful post.

This post kind of made me well up b/c my bother, who is seven years younger than me, is a paranoid schizophrenic who cannot work and will probably always live with family. He really finds release through music and plays the drums. I just really related to what you said about your son – that’s awesome that he enjoys music and has found a passion as such a young age.

Awww, once again you made my eyes brim. Thank you for reminding me of some of the joys of parenting to come (since my oldest is not quite 4), and helping them find their way in the world. Mine says he wants to play the tuba, and I think that would freakin rock, being a one-time marching band geek. Both my kids apparently have a deep love for music. I love watching my 9-month-old dance every single time she hears a note of music, and how my son listens to his mp3 player for hours on end, and how they both like music to help them fall asleep (ok, not that the baby falls asleep, EVER, but at least it keeps her from crying like I’m torturing her at bedtime!). Ok, rambled enough. Um…. right, thanks Aunt Becky.

This is my favorite post you’ve ever written. It’s just beautiful!

While I am in no way trying to compare my kid to Ben, he was an asshole of a baby. Doctors like to call it colic. I like to call it “what the hell did I ever do to deserve this?”

But music was always a tramendous help. There were many nights where we played Louis Armstrong, Sam Cook, and Frank Sinatra as I cried right along side my new baby.

Music is so very healing. I’m so happy Ben has a natural talent for it:)

My “quirky” (euphemism for kid on the spectrum, right?) four year old son went as a date with his aunt to a THREE HOUR symphony performance on Sunday. He can’t get enough of music. I agree- it soothes and quells all of the static for him.

Now the problem is that when I go to a three hour symphony, the static and the ADHD kick in.

Who do you think is gonna win??

Being a band geek myself, I really loved this post. How wonderful that Ben has found something he is so passionate about, and that you appreciate his gift. I don’t know if it’s the horomones or the post, but I cried

Goddamnit, Aunt Becky – 2 posts in a row that made me well up. What a great week for your family (well, other than the pooping…)

This just makes me smile, and then smile some more.

Sniff – this made me well up. Well, at least the picture of you with a penis in my head made it so I didnt cry.

Your dog has migraines and neurologists?

Seriously, music is great – Aspies are known for leaning towards music, math and languages. It’s all about systems, patterns; predictable and reliable things. Is he studying any languages in his school?

You’ve got a great sense of humor (so necessary as a mother of a child with special needs or a mother period!!) Thanks for your post on music!

You ROCK as a mother! I love your honesty and how much you love your family. And I love when kids find their niche.

My son was diagnosed with social anxiety and chronic depression as a child. Like your son, he found comfort in music and now plays four instruments – predominantly the bari sax. He got to tour Europe with a group a couple of summers ago.

Life IS good.

There is nothing that fills our hearts more than to see our children succeed! (((HUGS)))

*snnnnnniiiiiifffffff* It’s the allergies, dammit!

Watching your child find joy is the best part of being a parent. Way to go, Becks. Way to go.

I love this. xoxo

Truly a beautiful post. I love how proud you are of your kids.

So cool ! I like your post !

I also have an Aspie (12) who is making the very difficult transition into high school at the moment. He goes to a main stream school but has a facilitator in class. He has been very cranky and has been ignoring his poor dad for the past 6 weeks. No amount of encouragement (not even blatant bribes) can make him forgive whatever got him in this funk in the first place. They are so difficult to fathom, these kiddos, I have no idea what else to try to repair the situation:(

My oldest has gone to all of the same schools that I did. Elementary, Middle and now High School, it’s a little bit surreal going back to the various events isn’t it? Sitting in the high school auditorium for a play, or meeting or conferences, just a little weird. Also, since I’m a young mom, (for her anyway) there are still many teachers that were still there when I was a mere 18 years ago, also a little weird.

Mack’s thing is her art, which didn’t come from any part of me, but she is so freaking amazing, and it’s so amazing the pride that fills me up, when I see something she’s done.

Kudos to you for helping foster this passion in Ben, and I know you will do the same for whatever passion pops up in Alex and Mimi. It’s so awesome to see.

I will be carrying the title “Flight of the Mother Fucking Bumblebee” in my head for the rest of the day. Thanks!
Sweet story too. Music is a wonderful thing.

Sounds like the soothed child also soothed the mother. Which soothed me.

That sounds great!

Seeing someone find their talent is a fabulous thing. And I love the cello.

Lovely post. I CAN imagine you playing the cello by the way. I have a friend who plays it in the European Chamber Orchestra, and she played a few Bach pieces at my wedding. I think it’s my favourite instrument. I wish I could play it, but know I will never make the time to learn, so I admire people who do.

Nice post. My son is autistic as well and loves music.