A couple miles from my house which is a couple miles from my parents house (which goes to show you once you go St. Charles, you never go back), there is a road. Well, if you want to be technical about it, there are lots of roads, especially since I a) do not live in a cow town and 2) roads = easier ways to get to my Uncrustables.
But back in high school, we didn’t have a lot to do, so we drove around. Sometimes we’d play “Summer Car” in the dead of winter, dressing up in our tank tops and short-shorts, cranking the heat to 11. Other times we’d play Pants Off, Drive Off and drive around with no pants. Even then, it appears, pants were bullshit. Sometimes we’d drive around exploring the less developed areas surrounding STC.
An old favorite, though, was to explore Munger Road. An urban legend – completely unverified – passed down through generations of squeally teens said that the three mile stretch of road was haunted. As the urban legend goes, a busload of kids were killed crossing the train tracks. If you sit on the train tracks, baby powder on the bumper, leaving your car in neutral, the ghost train would come through and a buttload of kids would push your car out of the way. Inspection of the bumper would reveal dozens of tiny hand prints.
I cannot tell you, Pranksters, how many times we tried this trick. Which, let me tell you, is a brillz one. I mean, sitting on the train tracks, car in neutral, is probably the smartest thing you can do, when you stop a POS clunker called the Fatty-Bo-Batty-Caddy (Cadillac from the early 1800’s, I think, judging by the shape of the upholstery) ON TOTALLY FUNCTIONAL RAILROAD TRACKS.
I didn’t die, obviously, because I went on to pop out some crotch parasites and become Your Aunt Becky. Nor did we see any tiny ghosticles. Once, I think, we saw a cat. (no, not a Laser Kitty, because OMG, how awesome?)
I’d mostly forgotten about our Munger Road antics until The Twitter informed me of a new movie. Shot in St. Charles, and NOT on Your Mom’s Camera. Like a real movie. In St. Charles.
What’s it about?
Munger Fucking Road*.
You should probably go see it. I bet there’s a scene with me accidentally in it all stumbling out of the bar like, “I fucking love you, street light. Will you marry me?”
*petitioning for a name change for that road, by the by.
Did your town have any urban legends, Pranksters?