When I say that I’m a “big fan” of music, it conjures up the most delicious image of a gigantic fan, perhaps with a whimsical image of Your Aunt Becky in full geisha gear, doing something graceful and womanly painted on there. Then I giggle and forget what I’m saying because I’m on TOPAMAX, man, and that shit is BAD NEWS and I can barely remember your name, let alone what I was laughing at.

Anyway, for as long as my kid, Benner, has been alive, I’ve made him listen to music.

When he was a screamy baby, it was the only thing that kept me from driving off a cliff while he wailed on in the backseat (let’s just PRETEND I live somewhere besides the Midwest, where there actually MIGHT be cliffs). Later, it was one of the things that comforted him and soothed the savage beast within him when nothing else–save for his beloved Jupiter–could.

Never mattered what it was, could have been a commercial jingle, the kid would stop what he was doing, and start dancin’. Out of nowhere, I’d warble, “you could be dannnnccciiiinnnng” and he’d immediately stop, and start bouncing up and down. Which if you’re related to me, is dancing.

Don’t believe me? Go to BlogHer, or another place where I’ll be in front of a DJ and watch Your Aunt Becky dance. I call it The White Girl Shuffle, but really, white girls everywhere should be pretty mad at me for calling it that because it disgraces their name.

So the kid, he’s always been around music. And because I’m sort of Rainman WITH music, I’m always muttering the name of the song and who it is by to him. Like, he’ll be in the backseat listening serenely and I’m driving and out of nowhere I’ll scream, “SUPERTRAMP, GOODBYE STRANGER!!! MEMORIZE IT, BEN!”

If nothing else, the kid is going to be wicked good at bar trivia some day and probably scared of loud noises. He’ll thank me, I’m certain.

Music is the one thing we could agree on. Actually, it’s the only thing we agree on.

For years, the kids has been rejecting me. He preferred his crib to his mother, then his planets. Once he got his autistic spectrum diagnosis, I will admit that I was relieved because you know what Pranksters? It proved that the issue wasn’t with me. I wasn’t a bad mother (okay, maybe I was, but not for the reasons you’d think) and I cannot tell you the weight that was lifted off of me.

So music, I loved music too. Anyone who loved music as voraciously as I did is someone that I could love very, very much. Furthermore, it was someone who I could get along with quite well.

And so we do. He took up the violin when he was 6, took a year off when he changed schools, and is now back in the orchestra playing the violin. Yesterday, we went to his second concert.

I sat back in the hushed auditorium where I used to play my own concerts (I was a cellist), my seat-back assailed by a thousand tiny kicks from the turdlick behind me and I watched as my son took his seat. First chair, first violin.

That’s like watching your kid become quarterback.

My heart swelled with pride and I beamed ear to ear. I almost got up and announced to the packed auditorium, “Hey fuckers, that’s MY kid in first chair,” but I didn’t want to embarrass anyone. Especially Ben.

I sat there, glowing, and while I nearly passed out as the person in front of me farted and the turd behind me kicked my chair repeatedly, the orchestra of 300 third graders played Ode to Joy from Beethoven’s 9th Symphony. I’ve heard it countless times before, and while never quite so…discordant, it was beautiful.

Mostly because it was MY son, MY kid up there in the first chair, doing me proud.

There we were, on the same page at last. My son and I.

When he wins his Bar Trivia Trophy, I’m betting he’ll want to dedicate it to me, too. Because, really, what barfly doesn’t want to destroy all chances of getting laid by commemorating their crowning achievement to their mother? I guess I’ll have to start clearing out room for his future trophies now.

Maybe The Daver can start sleeping in the garden.

Comments = full of the awesome. Like gravy. I can haz an RSS RSS feed .

79 Responses to Mommy’s Little Boy Loves Disco

  • Ah, the old someone-in-this-auditorium-has-farted glance-off.

    Nobody ever wins.

    And yeah, Ben’s made all those other little kids his… well, I suppose since they’re small, instrument playing children I won’t say.

  • linlah says:

    Yea for Ben and first chair but I’d make room for a Grammy and leave the Bar Trivia Trophy to someone else.

  • TeacherMommy says:

    My kids better be fine with Mama singing AND dancing along to music in the car (yes, while driving, why do you ask?) because this White Chick has some MOVES, yo. And any embarrassment she causes is pretty much just bonus.

  • Amanda says:

    My mom still yells out “ten points if you can tell me who sings this!” every time we’re in the car. I don’t know what the points are for, or who’s keeping track, but it’s sort of our thing. And throw almost any 80’s or 90’s pop-rock song at me and I guarantee there’s a fond backseat memory behind it. Keep going with that, he’ll have really great memories some day.

    (P.S., you sound like a really great mom….promise, mine would have just stood up in the auditorium)

  • Wombat Central
    Twitter: wombatcentral
    says:

    I, too, love music (LOVE “Goodbye Stranger”) and have played it for my kids since day 1. My 7-year-old son’s favorite CD is currently Saturday Night Fever, so there’s a lot of disco dancing and pointing up and down going on in our house. Sooo glad the Black Sabbath CD finally took the bench. Thanks, DH, for introducing our young son to Black Sabbath. :P

    [Confession: much of the time during our elementary school concerts, I was merely moving my fingers on the flute. Never spent enough time practicing.]

    • Gunfighter says:

      “…much of the time during our elementary school concerts, I was merely moving my fingers on the flute. Never spent enough time practicing”

      My daughter, who is a 5th grade clarinet player said the same thing about half of the kids in her class just finger the instuments because they have NO idea what they are doing, and don’t practice.

  • I’m sure you must be proud. I would be. I would have a tshirt made that said My kid is great, Your kid sucks on front and back. My kids aren’t very music savvy. My DD10 asked me the other day who Madonna was. I felt ashamed that I had not properly inducted them to the pop music hall of famers. I looked her up in my People magazine and showed her to both kids and let them listen to one of her songs. They know who Three Days Grace & Breaking Benjamins are b/c I blast that shit in my car everywhere I go. They ask me to turn it down all the time. Nope. No can do fuckers. One day I will be doing the same thing with them. They’ll get the last laugh.

    • Gunfighter says:

      Ha! My eleven year old asked the same question about Madonna after watching “The Madonna” episode on Glee. I told her that Madonna is somone that used to be talented and famous. She responded “you mean, like way back in the 80’s?” When I answered yes, she said “wow…. that was a looong time ago!”

  • avasmommy says:

    Dude. This made me tear up. For reals.

    What an awesome kid he is. But then again, so is his mama.

  • mepsipax says:

    My kid loves music too….which is awesome for a band nerd such as I. Gasp…you didn’t know. Yes, I too was a band nerd. My kid used to sing drowning pool songs when he was three. So cute…bad parent? Nah. :D

  • mepsipax says:

    And….he plays violin too.

  • Mandi Bone says:

    My little one doesn’t have many words in conversation but has a ton when she is singing.

  • I’m awesome at those Bar Trivia games….Until it starts asking me questions about like, science and geography and shit. Then I’m lost. Then I order another beer. I’m MUCH better after that.

  • Jenny Keller says:

    My daughter sings (yells) at the top of her lungs to “Eye of the Tiger”. She loves that song. Doesn’t really know the words — but she sings (yells) them anyway. It was the first song she made me download to her MP3 player.

  • Awwww. I’m so happy for you guys!! That’s fantastic!

  • Andrea says:

    I can’t wait to be a mom. You’re my all time hero.

  • pattypunker says:

    i too love music like the air i breathe but i never played an instrument. i try to blame this on my parents but the truth is i’m just not smart or coordinated enough. so when my daughter took up the viola and became first chair viola i beamed too! i imagined her marrying a surgeon, living in a village brownstone, and playing and traveling the world with the new york philharmonic.

    so it just goes to show you, music is the stuff dreams are made of. and ode to joy is just the ultimate in triumphant!

  • Denise says:

    It’s important to exose kids to all forms of art. I, too, am a great lover of music and I bet I can dance worse than you! I’m so bad my man loves to imitate me. He calls it the Linus dance. Funny once I started telling him to show me how I dance, while we are in public, he stopped. I guess he didn’t want to take claim to my most awesome way of dancing! My sister is now exposing her 2 yo son to music. He seems to be a fan of Disco too.

  • Sam says:

    First chair = awesome. I was friends with the band kids. I know this to be true. And I constantly quiz my 5 year old – who can identify any System of a Down song, AND knows the lead singer’s solo stuff. I’m proud.

  • Christina says:

    To have any sort of connection with your kids is pretty damn awesome, but that goes beyond awesome ;)

    I saw this and thought of Ben with his space fascination…you’ve probably already seen it (video from the American Museum of Natural Science):

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17jymDn0W6U

  • katrina says:

    ahhhhhh aunt becky, you and the daver should be proud!! Music is magic– such a universal ‘language’……it bypasses the brain and reaches into our souls. that’s why it doesn’t matter what language. Music helps us remember words….(damn those stupid jingles). But on the other hand, music used in teaching, especially when teaching rote/memory things……(like the elements of the periodic table)…works really well.
    God! You played the cello!! You are multitalented and i am jealous

  • Mary says:

    I’m not trying to get all weepy and it’s too early to get shit-faced but this actually brings back memories of my mom in the early 60’s. She would listen to the Sinatra and Big Band music when my Dad was around and when he went to work, it was Chuck Berry, Elvis and Top 10 Rock and Roll. When she passed away, she didn’t leave much in material goods, but I inherited her love of music and her Irish sense of humor. My favorite line was when she felt pressured she would say,”Why don’t you stick a broom up my ass, so I can sweep the floor at the same time?” That would get a laugh and get her message across at the same time. Mom is still alive in my heart.

  • a says:

    First chair! That’s awesome! Congratulations, Benner!

  • Cindy says:

    We are definitely a musical family. Not one of us can play an instrument but we’ll kick your ass at trivia! I started playing name that tune with my much older brother at about 8. Now my 2 girls are learning of the wonders of America and A Horse With No Name.
    But what do you do when you have two little princessy girls that eschew The Bieber for AC/DC and Metallica? It makes my heart melt to see them with their horns and headbanging!

  • Cara says:

    What a great experience to share! Congrats to Ben on first chair!

  • The “hey fuckers” part made me LOL–AT WORK!!! It will be all Ben’s fault when I get fucking fired, Aunt Becky!

  • Mrs Soup says:

    Awwww, yay! You and Mr. Soup would get along super well, I think. The music trivia game would be rough.

  • Kori says:

    I have brainwashed all of the kids to think that Miley Cyrus is the Devil, along with Britney Hoebag Spears and every other hoothice pop-star, but they can recognize the first strings from Pachelbel’s Canon in D, they know Vivaldi and Beethoven and think that Chopin is only acceptable in elevators and facy restaraunts but Wagner? GREAT for when you are PISSED off. They also, incidentally, know who David Groll USED to play with, know that Audioslave and Chris Cornell are one and the same, and the remake of Goodbye Strangers isn’t bad, but the Krokus remake of Sweet’s Ballroom Blitz really KICKS ass. So I am with you, my dear Aunt Becky; we can all at least bond over this one thing.

  • Jennifer B says:

    Aw, Aunt Beks, ya got me when you said “My heart swelled with pride and I beamed ear to ear…” And yet again, I had to gulp back the tear so that my turdlicking 9th graders don’t know that I’m secretly reading your blog during “silent reading” time. I am so with you on the love of music. I have always danced, and let me tell you that it is the ONLY time I am graceful, because the rest of the time? I’m a danger to myself. (I know you know what I mean here.) I was a band geek in high school and college, and then most recently, had my professional salsa thing goin on. Well, yeah, 2 kids later and I only get to dance once a month if I’m lucky, but it’s somethin. Well anyway, my son loves music so much, I got him an MP3 player of his own (the $15 kind – he was 3 at the time), And I put all his favorite songs on there. It is one “toy” that has never gone by the wayside and will entertain him for hours on the road. He says he wants to play the tuba when he gets big enough to hold one, and I cannot wait to be in your chair – hopefully minus the farting douchebag. :)

  • soccermom says:

    I think its awesome you have the music connection with your son. I also have a music/movies connection with my son. Since I know first hand when they get to be 15 they dont want anything to do with you. you will at least still have the music.

  • My not-so-inner music nerd is giving you (and Benner- FIRST CHAIR! RAWK!) *pounds*. :)

  • We’re not musical but they kids have music class & give two concerts each a year.

    I’ve been kicked in the back of the chair by lots of kids.

    I let my own children kick the seat in front of them.

    I consider it “Paying it forward”

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  • Melissa says:

    Congratulations Benner and Mommy! *fist bump*

  • electriclady says:

    First chair first violin! So AWESOME! I would have been bursting with pride too. :)

  • magpie says:

    You know, I was seriously relieved yesterday when you tweeted that it was the Ode to Joy and not Flight of the Bumblebee. Because, that, played by 300 third graders, would have been really really scary.

  • Kelly says:

    Wow, a year off and Benner is first chair! That is so awesome! I played violen all through school, you must be so proud!

    I’m not allowed to dance at home. My husband thinks my bad white girl moves will rub off on Mea, something about tampering with her natural rhythm.

  • Brooke says:

    Yay, Ben! Sweet post, Aunt Becky.

  • MommyLisa says:

    My kid is continuing our family tradition of making up our own words to popular songs.

    Good Times.

  • Regina says:

    My oldest daughter is not muscial but she is the one who butchered the most songs when she was little- like singing “Trisha” to Billy Joel’s “Pressure” (it’s my sister’s name) and of course Bachman Turner Overdrive’s “Taking Out the Biscuits”.
    My youngest daughter(now 18) plays the piano and sings at all hours of the day and night. She mostly plays video game music and Disney/show tunes. How did such a cool person like me give birth to such a geek?! Maybe it was because Ode to Joy was playing on TV when she was born.

  • Elly Lou says:

    Promise me you won’t make him listen to Rod Stewart. Show some kindness. Stick with the Village People and sequins. Easy on the Floyd, too. Do it for America.

  • Laura says:

    LOVE SuperTramp!!! and Disco music.

    We were at my daughter’s choir/band concert and my little one comes up to me in front of a bunch of people and asks if there will be a sax-o-phone!

    She is 2!

    Must have learned it from Dora or Diego, but at least she was into the concert music!

  • kalakly says:

    Scrolling down to leave word the page stopped at the 9th grade teacher who reads your blog during silent reading. Man, I wish my teachers would have been reading something like Aunt Becky during class, back in the ‘day’. Course no computers or cell phones back then, just the horses tied up outside at the post(those were the only ‘posts’ back then too:))
    What was I saying? Oh yea, Yay for Ben! I hope he keeps kickin life’s ass, one instrument at a time;)
    xx00

  • That is so awesome! I hope he keeps up with the violin for many years. My youngest is just getting into music – just now, despite spending his preschool years parked in the parent pick-up line at school blasting the Ramones in the minivan while he was strapped in and unable to escape. Alas, lately, all he wants to hear is the Black Eye Peas singing I’mma Be and gah! I’mma be losing my mind!

  • That is so awesome! I hope he keeps up with the violin for many years. My youngest is just getting into music – just now, despite spending his preschool years parked in the parent pick-up line at school blasting the Ramones in the minivan while he was strapped in and unable to escape. Alas, lately, all he wants to hear is the Black Eye Peas singing I’mma Be and gah! I’mma be losing my mind!

  • Hahahaha…I just got an error saying my cooment didn’t save because maybe it was too short! It was an opus!

  • Rebecca says:

    The only thing I have trouble believing is that you did not record it and post it here for the world to listen to!! I love Ode To Joy!!!

  • Manda says:

    Oh Em Gee, Aunt Becky, I do the SAME THING.

    Just yesterday I matter-of-factly informed my three month old and my friend’s 11 month old that they were listening to Tommy James and the Shondells. Like they give a shit. They had their feet in their mouths at the time and couldn’t have cared less. But they NEED to KNOW.

    I am often perplexed as to why I remember the lyrics to obscure songs but not when to pay my bills. They send monthly reminders for the bills. Nobody ever sends you a reminder that “Smokin’ In The Boys Room” was not originally by Motley Crue, but rather by Brownsville Station on an album called “Yeah!” in 1972. I wasn’t even BORN in 1972.

    My friends think I should start a monthly newsletter of obscure music trivia and song lyrics. You want in?

  • Becca says:

    First Chair…that’s outstanding!!! Doesn’t it just make your little heart squee and tears run down your face???

    T started playing French Horn, and The Princess will be playing trombone next year. I don’t know how two children of this woodwind girl became members of the brass family, but they have sure done an outstanding job!!

    I’m so proud for you and Benner

  • SciFi Dad says:

    Beethoven and Supertramp… there’s a joke in there somewhere.

    My daughter has just started taking “piano lessons” from my wife (she’s got something like grade nine, so she actually knows what she’s talking about) and has been begging me to teach her to play sax. I’ve tried explaining that she needs to be older (stronger) to hold it on her neck, but she isn’t listening.

  • Dawn says:

    Dude. First chair? First violin? That is full of the awesome.

  • GingerB says:

    I love, love, love that you called the child kicking your seat a turdlick.

    And oh yeah, how lovely to hear your son play Ode to Joy, first chair. That made me cry. The internet is full of making me cry today, I should just get back to work.

  • Badass Geek says:

    Seriously awesome, dude.

  • What a sweet post. Congrats on Ben’s achievement!!

    Sadie at heyMamas

  • Amanda says:

    Hooray for Ben!

  • Vinomom says:

    I’ve ALWAYS wanted to learn to play strings. Violin like Benner mostly, but cello is probably cool too. If it weren’t bigger than me.

    Lady H is a big music fan, too. She loves to look up songs on youtube where the lyrics play with the song. She can totally rap with Kanye.

  • karen says:

    Once again, though it is too late to read through all the comments until tomorrow, I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF on my second read through. The first time I liked it, but it is late, and I’m thick. But on round two, it all hit me. The visuals. The pride. The joy a mom can take in a fucking awesome kid. Thanks for sharing. I plan to share you with my best friend. Your humour reminds me of hers.

    I’d read it again tonight, but I’m afraid I might hurt myself.

  • Ami says:

    Dude, I’m glad you do better than me on the dopamax (intentional mispelling) b/c I tried that stuff for my migraines and not only did it do JACK for my headaches it made my hands and feet tingle and feel like I was being stabbed by a million invisible needles.

    Have you tried CoQ10? I take 200 mg every morning (make sure its a good brand b/c the cheap stuff ain’t worth jack and is probably processed cat puke or something b/c lord knows the fda doesn’t check on “dietary suppliments”) and not only does it give me an AWESOME energy boost (so helpful dealing with my own crotch parasite) it REALLY helps w/ my headaches.

    I wouldn’t have tried the tree hugger method myself but we were desperate for some sort of anti-migraine something I can take and bake my crotch parasite at the same time so my neurologist said “well theres some studies” and we tried it and VOILA!

    • Your Aunt Becky
      Twitter: mommywantsvodka
      says:

      I’ll try adding that in, too. I do Vitamin B12 (as I like to call it SUUUUPER BEEEEE!) and that also helps. The side effects for The Max do abate, but yes, the tingles were really rough for awhile.

  • Sharon says:

    Congrats to Ben! Once again, I am slightly jealous of your kid. Supertramp? My kid’s singing-out-loud has tended more towards “I am 16 going on 17″. With a big effing Liza Minella jazz hands finish. More than a little humiliating for the parent.

  • Gunfighter says:

    Congrats to you AND the boy, Becks. I had a similar experience recenlty with SoccerGirl and her clarinet, so I know the feeling. We are a rather musical household as well (in the we listen to lots of music), and we are proud of our little muscian.

  • Cat says:

    Love this post. He did his mama proud, and that’s so sweet. Atta boy Ben. Glad you two have this.

  • mumma boo says:

    Way to go, Ben! First chair! *pumps fist*

    Every kid needs to be exposed to all kinds of music not just the kiddie-crap that makes me want to drive an ice-pick through my ears. We let them make their own playlist and I’m amazed at what they chose. Everything from disco to classical to the Beatles and AC/DC. Good times on that list.

  • Anna says:

    This is probably going to the lamest thing I ever say to anyone, and this could be because I have some kind of hormonal in-balance because I had a rather screwed up childhood and even cute cartoons can make me cry..but that was when I was on some crappy birthcontrol BUT I DIGRESS!
    The end of this entry made me a little teary eyed because I could only imagine how proud of Ben you are, there is some passion there lady, and I’m jealous. I wish you were my mother.
    xoxo

  • Krissa says:

    I am SOOOO PROUD! And not just of your future Beethoven either, while the majority of it, (the proudness), really must go his way.
    But, YOU! You showed such restraint and, dare I say it? Decorum. In not standing and shouting at all the fuckers that THAT was your kid up there.
    You are just awesome. No wonder you have such an awesome kid. :-)

  • Leslie says:

    Dear Aunt Becky,

    I should begin this by saying I was in band from 5th grade through college, so I know all about the first chair thing.

    My son plays violin as well. A couple of weeks ago, I asked him where he would sit for his concert (which was last Tuesday). He said “on the corner”. I said “On the corner?” Come to find out he is first chair first violin. I explained the whole “first chair” thing to him. I think I was more excited than he was.

    Cut to the concert. I’m all excited to see my first chair son, only to find out he switched seats with the girl next to him because she complained he kept hitting her in the head with her bow. (I smell a scheme) Well – I was pissed. Until…they began the first piece, and all of the kids were in deep concentration. All of them, except for Miss First Chair. She slouched and kicked her feet back and forth the entire time. Since no one else in the orchestra was moving, it was VERY obvious, AND distracting. And, eventually, funny – especially after the piece was over, when the conductor had a word with her.

    All ended up OK – and it was all I could think of when I read this. :)

    Had to share since

  • Kristin
    Twitter: dragondream
    says:

    Congrats to Ben!

  • melissa says:

    i’ll do the white girl shuffle with you!!
    xo

  • gorillabuns says:

    i grew up in a bar watching my dad and uncle play in bands. this is something i inspire my children to do as well. you know, be a barfly and pick up musicians.

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