For a third of my life now, I’ve been a mother.

I used to find Mother’s Day endlessly conflicting, especially as a new mother. Here was a day where I was supposed to celebrate being a mother, and there I was, working my ass off, trying to please the other mothers in my life; neither of whom particularly cared for me.

When I stopped trying to please them, I found that I was much happier.

I don’t feel conflicted anymore. Because while this is a holiday where I am supposed to be loved and cherished and honored by my children above all other mothers, I know that a shitty brunch of undercooked Eggs Benedict won’t ever say what your grimy outstretched arms do every day: you love me.

I know this.

So today is really about you, my children, the inexplicable three chunks of my heart forever walking around outside of my body. I’m not sure how they physically removed my heart and divided it up like that, but there you have it. In your veins, my blood flows; my heart pumps in your tiny, fragile chests.

I hope that you all grow to know how proud I am of you; how proud I am to know each of you. How I’ve marveled over each of your fingers and kissed them one by one while you slept on my chest as infants, and how my heart has swelledย until I thought it would burst in my chest when you mastered something new.

How I’ve wept, wishing that I could save you the bumps and bruises that are coming down the road by taking them for you. How I want you to grow to be tall and proud, standing up for what you believe in and helping those who have no voice. How I want you to be sure that there is so, so much good in this crazy, mixed up world, and how I want you to add to this good by being who you are.

Because you are all such wonderful people.

I hope that you can forgive me for the mistakes I’ve made. I’m bound to fuck you up in all sorts of ways I can imagine and many that I can’t. I hope that you can forgive me for calling you crotch parasites (even though you all are) and teaching you to swear prolifically.

Preemptively, I’m sorry.

But there’s not a day that goes by that I’m not proud to call you all my children. So Happy Mother’s Day, my babies. Without you, I simply wouldn’t be me.

And a Happy Mother’s Day to you, my Pranksters. To all of you who have children to celebrate with here on Earth, to those of you who are struggling to be mothers, and to those of you whose treasures are in Heaven.

A Happy Mother’s Day to all of you.

Comments

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62 thoughts on “Maternity

  1. That. Is. Beautiful. Thanks. Happy Mother’s Day to you, Becky, you are superb and sublime. I’m so glad I found you.

  2. This is one prankster who’s feeling pretty teary eyed after reading your post. Esp the phrase “the inexplicable three chunks of my heart forever walking around outside of my body” – yep, I can relate to that. Totally. Happy Mother’s Day Becky – you are a fantabulous mom.

  3. “Here was a day where I was supposed to celebrate being a mother, and there I was, working my ass off, trying to please the other mothers in my life; ”

    Aunt Becky, you took the words right out of my mouth.

    Happy Mother’s Day to you too!!!

  4. So well said!

    I totally agree with you that it’s tough to please the other mothers AND enjoy the day yourself, so my husband and I have decided to make actual mothers day about our moms, and then I get a “mothers day observed” a couple weeks later. That way we can honor our moms but I still get a day to myself (and it’s easier to make brunch reservations when it’s not actually mother’s day!)

    Happy Mothers day to all the mommies!

  5. Since the hubs is in Iraq and bratchild swears she can’t cook (she’s 8-what has she been learning?) we celebrated by sleeping late, eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts and watching Scooby Doo.
    Of course, the Scooby Doo has Scrappy Doo in it which ruins it for me and I may be nauseous from the 3 chocolate iced glazed doughnuts I ate BUT I know I am crazy lucky and bratchild is amazing.

  6. You gave me a lump in my throat reading that shit man. NOT COOL!! Tell me to shut my whore mouth. I am sure there is some show on right now you want to watch, but don’t get so mushy on me!! I’m not that weepy fucking girl dude!! ๐Ÿ™

  7. *wipes tears* i am the thankful one today, too. i will receive beautiful things wrapped in boxes and an awesome dinner without lifting a finger, but none of this is necessary because being a mother to my daughter is a gift i cherish more than anything. she gives my life meaning and love. she is all of the glitter and sparkle i will ever need.

    happy mother’s day to you, too! xoxo

  8. Damn you for making me cry, I’m already a weepy mushy mess now that I’m a mom!

    Swinging by to wish you a very happy Mother’s Day filled with laughter and love!

  9. There is a page in Hayden’s baby book where I am supposed to write a letter to him. It is still blank, because I can’t find a way to say it this well. I loved reading this.

  10. Happy Mother’s Day to you, too. I’ve noticed over the years that Mother’s Day is more important to kids than it is to their mothers, so you are right about it being more about them than about us.

  11. That was very beautiful aunt becky. I have worked every mothers day since I have become a mom. But it’s not about the day itself….it’s the feeling of knowing that I am loved by my children and that I wouldn’t be who I am now without them.

    Happy Mothers Day to you!

  12. Happy Mom’s Day Aunt Becky!!!……you made me cry again….”i’m not sure how they physically removed my heart and divided it up like that…”—-exactly right—-and somehow, our hearts become even bigger .Have a wonderful day and enjoy your awesome children!

  13. Awww! The title of this post immediately made me think of big flowing tops and comfy jeans. And then it got EVEN better.
    Happy Mother’s Day, Sweet Pea!

  14. *snuffle, snort* *wipe snotty face on shirt* damn girl! this is one post that cannot even contain the Awesome…

    happy mother’s day aunt becky – love you to bits!

  15. Warm and squishy Aunt Becky frightens me to my very core.

    TO MY VERY CORE.

    Happy Mother’s Day, my friend.

    (Also: is the fact that parts of your heart are walking around outside your body the reason you appear heartless most of the time?)

  16. “Preemptively, Iโ€™m sorry.”

    This is how I feel every day.

    I wish I had read this post earlier. THIS is the correct perspective to view this ridiculous, IMO, angst-ridden because I am neurotic, holiday. If I had read this I would’ve been able to save myself some craziness today.

    Happy Mother’s Day to you, dear Aunt Becky. For someone so young, you are truly wise beyond your age.

  17. Wonderful post, Becky – Happy (belated) Mother’s Day to you. It’s kinda hokey to say it, but my kid changed my life. Thanks for the reminder that Mother’s Day isn’t all about me (except it is, mostly).

  18. Happy belated Mother’s Day to you, too. Sorry I’m late ~ it’s the story of my life these days! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I love it when you show the tender side of yourself, even for a moment. It makes you all the more Awesome.

  19. You are the only person I read whose posts ALWAYS elicit some kind of emotion. I’ve never been an outwardly emotional person but I often find myself laughing out loud or, as with this post, fighting back tears.
    I’m so glad that you are you, and that your kids have you. They are some lucky.

  20. I absolutely love your site! I started watching you about a month ago, but this post about being a Mom got me! Especially the part about the 3 chunks of your heart walking around outside your body! I love the way you describe things, cuss words an all!! Bravo Mom, for putting out there real thoughts and perspectives!

  21. Dood…I cant believe that lamebrain copied your post!! *sigh* integrity is fantastic ๐Ÿ˜›
    Thanks for being you though ๐Ÿ˜‰

  22. Hey Becky, I am so f’n bored at work so I go and start digging into some of your old stuff. I randomly selected 9/2010…? Found all the John C Mayer stuff (thank God, I was wondering about all that) and then I somehow got to the assmuch stealing your stuff and had to come read this. It is AH-MAY-zing! No wonder the piece of shit stole it! If I were an asshat theif I would steal it too! I love it and it made me cry, as my heart is also walking around outside my body in two chunks. I think you should repost for this mothers day. Love you babe!

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