Today over at Toy With Me, I’m telling the story of my first (and only) visit to the strip club. I can only hope that you have similar stories of abject molestation to share with me. Or, at least perhaps you can get a laugh at my expense.
Just don’t ever say I never give you anything.
Click the smiling beaver below to be taken away:
Or stick around for a Blast From The Past, for those of you not wanting to imagine me with a pair of testicles on my face (I do not know why not):
Becky: “Do you like my manicure?” (playfully wraggles black fingernails in Daver’s face)
Dave (grabs hand for closer inspection): “Ooooh. Freaky! Won’t Ashley be mad that you had black nail polish put on for her wedding?”
Becky: “Nah. It’s perfectly vogue now. It’s no longer JUST for goth chicks.”
Dave (grabs her hand again. This time her right hand, although not unkindly): “Wait a minute…is your wedding ring STUCK ON?”
Becky (sheepishly, in a small voice): “Yes.” (pauses) “I kept in on too long after I got pregnant with Amelia. And now I can’t get it off.”
Dave (eyes take on a mischievous gleam): “You know what this means, right?”
Becky: “Please don’t take me down to the fire station to get it cut off. I’m so ashamed. I HAVE FINGER FAT NOW.”
Dave: “No, no. I wouldn’t do that. And your finger looks great. But…”
(pauses dramatically for effect)
Dave: “You SEE this ring? IT MEANS I OWN YOU.”
Becky: “That’s MY line, assface.”
Dave: “And look at how badly it blew up in your face.”