St. Charles, IL – an area woman often known as “Aunt Becky,” although she is, at time of print, not an actual aunt to anyone at all, claims that “the only thing worse than having an iPhone 4S is not having an iPhone 4S.” Aunt Becky, more commonly known as Becky Sherrick Harks, makes it a point to state, “my last name is not hyphenated,” even without being asked, sits in her apartment drinking one of many diet Coke bottles lying her tiny apartment.

“It’s like this,” Harks states, “my iPhone couldn’t really make phone calls, which is why I got a landline,” and “It made me really mad at my iPhone.” Upon catching her breath she informs us that, “it was kinda a piece of shit, for an Apple product. I mean what fucking phone can’t make a call?” She then adds that while she was often frustrated by her “inability to use the ‘phone’ part of the iPhone 4S,” she did like to use it to play Angry Birds. “I mean,” says Harks, “the birds are so cute when they’re mad,” and when this writer agreed, she replied with, “Fucking-a, right” after offering a hot dog to the writer.

“It goes like this,” Harks said, getting visibly choked up. “I had this piece of shit phone that can’t make a fucking call to save itself, even though it says right on the box “PHONE.” I kept threatening the damn thing with a NOT-Smart phone, but those things don’t have those cute fucking angry birds on them.” She dabbed her eyes on her shirt and resumed, “but I didn’t really mean it. I mean, yeah, the damn thing couldn’t cure cancer, but I sorta kinda liked it, like a little bit.”

After a nasty battle between iPhone 4S and the washing machine, Harks knew it was the end of her iPhone. First, she cheered, “finally, I can get another phone!” then immediately lamented, “but I miss my iPhone 4S already.” When questioned regarding the duality of her statement, Harks simply stated, “Android sucks. Sure I couldn’t call anyone from my iPhone, but at least I could find Angry Birds without having to flip through 736 screens.” “Although,” she continued, “I do like that little monster guy icon. He’s pretty cute.”

Harks states that she will probably return to get another iPhone the moment her contract is up with her mobile carrier, even though she may be unable to use it to call for help if there is an actual emergency, unlike the previous 3,483 times Harks has called 911 when McDonald’s forgot to give her extra BBQ sauce.

When asked for comment, Sprint, her mobile carrier, simply stated, “That girl is a dumb bitch.”

The Android phone, in a rare moment of Smart Phone clarity, agreed.

Comments = full of the awesome. Like gravy. I can haz an RSS RSS feed .

9 Responses to Local Woman Claims “Only Thing Worse Than Having an iPhone 4S is NOT Having iPhone 4S”

  • cindy
    Twitter: WalkerCynthia
    says:

    Sprint is a shit-for-brains asshole.

  • Andrea says:

    This made me giggle. Maybe a little too much?

    Nah. Never. ;)

  • Triplezmom
    Twitter: triplezmom
    says:

    I snorted out loud over this. Possibly it’s funnier because I have a 4s and while I can make calls on it, I cannot get calls on it. But I love it anyway – it’s not like I enjoy answering the phone.

  • Rachel says:

    I’ve never had an iPhone… Somehow, though, I don’t feel like my life is lacking… Or perhaps it’s lacking so much that I don’t even know it. My service plan is up in a few months; maybe, just maybe I’ll jump on that bandwagon just to have something else in my life to complain about!

  • stephgas
    Twitter: stephgas
    says:

    iphone > droid in so many ways. it doesn’t help that i’m a mac head. well, actually it does. because it means my macbook pro, ipad, and iphone all play very nicely together. so nicely that they don’t always include me.

  • Lovelyn
    Twitter: NebulousMooch
    says:

    This was very funny. I think Aunt Becky might have outdone herself.

    I still don’t have a smartphone. I’m one of those people you stop on the street and ask to take a picture of you with your iPhone and I have no idea what to do. I keep saying one day I’ll join this decade and get one, but I’m clumsy and those things are expensive to replace.

  • Janis says:

    I’ve had my iPhone 4S for six months and am still learning how to use it (I’m kinda slow in regards to tech things); I’d probably still have my “dumb phone,” but after six years, the battery was beginning to fail. I have attributed any call-making or receiving problems to the fact that we have Sprint; my friends who have Verizon don’t seem to have those problems.

  • melanie says:

    You can keep your iphone, I love my galaxy and its big ol screen and even though I heart my mac computer, I thought using the iphone wasn’t as user friendly as the galaxy. Ill probably skip the ipad and get the galaxy version of that as well.

  • alexisAR (you can call me Al)
    Twitter: theangelalexistwitter.com
    says:

    she used to be MY aunt.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

 

About Twitter Band Back Together Facebook Muschroom Printing Subscribe

blog advertising is good for you
wholesale kids clothing

Cheap and cool tutu dresses with readers

Buy Cool Toys for Your Children at Everbuying.com at a cheap price.

Archives

Marchin’ for Mimi!


blog advertising is good for you