Dear Amelia,

One of the only things my mother – your grandmother – said to me that ever made any sense was this: “wow, you sure do have to learn everything the hard way, Rebecca.” I don’t think she was being unkind, considering I’d just dumped my cheating boyfriend, scrapped my lifelong dream of becoming a doctor, and pushed a squalling infant – your biggest brother – out of my vagina. I was twenty years old. That was before I then dropped my nursing career for an illustrious “career” as a blobber and popped out two more crotch parasites, so yeah, it’s safe to say that your grandmother was right on the money there.

And, I fear, it’s probably genetic.

Because the moment that doctor informed me that there was something wrong with your head, it reminded me of this: life is unexpected.

Had the pill not failed me, I never would have gotten knocked up with your biggest brother, which means I would be Dr. Aunt Becky (that’s Mommy to you) by now. In that one tiny moment, my life was forever altered.

That’s the way life works. It’s in those unexpected moments that we discover who we really are; who we are really supposed to be. Maybe it’s not what we planned or what we thought we’d be doing, but it’s beautiful and it’s ours. I don’t expect you to take my word for it. Go ahead, find out for yourself. You already have.

Amelia's Dragons

At a couple of days gestation, thanks to some wonky issues that no one understands entirely (folic acid deficiency plays a part), your neural tube didn’t properly fuse and that big skull of yours didn’t quite get put together the way a skull should. Then, your beautiful brain started to grow outside your skull cavity, necessitating some pretty heavy neurosurgery when you were a wee babe. That moment, at a couple of days gestation, forever altered everything.

Thanks to that one unexpected moment, a whole host of things happened. A cascade effect. The best of which is this: you now have a cadre of Auntie and Uncle Pranksters who will kick the ass of anyone who needs it for you (never, ever underestimate the power and love of The Pranksters). You’ve also helped put a face to your disorder, encephalocele, and you gave me the idea for Band Back Together.

Aunt Becky's Daughter

Pretty good work for a two-year old.

I’m so proud of you, Amelia (or, as you like to call yourself “Nie-Nie”). Having a daughter was one of those lofty goals, like “having a discernible waistline” that I thought I could never achieve, and here you are. Even as I delivered you, I expected the doctor to tell me that you had a penis. I just couldn’t imagine I’d be so lucky as to have a daughter.

And yet here you are. My Miracle Mimi, the girl with the curls like a halo, she is here. Kicking ass, taking names, and probably going to murder me in my sleep over a pair of high heels.

I can hardly wait to see what you’ll do next. Unless it’s murder me. Which I really wish you wouldn’t do.

Aunt Becky

Happy Birthday, Sweet, Slightly Scary, Always Wonderfully Awesomely Ass-Kicking Baby Nie-Nie.

It’s you + me against the world, kiddo. So watch the fuck out, world.

Love Always,




108 Responses to Life, Unexpected

  • Lance says:

    Happy Birthday to her. She’s adorable..

  • Michelle says:

    Happy Birthday, Amelia! The Pranksters love you.

  • Frannie says:

    Happy Birthday!!!!

    She’s far too cute for words.:)

  • little big says:

    Happiest of Birthdays to the sweet, wonderful, beautiful Amelia!

  • Jana A says:

    Happy birthday, Miss Nie Nie! I’ll tickle you to death if you murder your mommy for those strawberry shoes. (unless you give them to me, then we’re cool)! Love you bunches… both of you… ALL OF YOU! xoxo

  • Ella says:


  • Marie says:

    Oh wow.. she is ridiculously cute. Ridiculously.

    Congrats on everything πŸ™‚

  • MommyLisa says:

    Rock on!

  • Kathy Miranda says:

    Happiest Birthday to you Amelia! Big hugs to Momma Becky!

  • Happy birthday Amelia Warrior Princess!

  • rys says:

    Beautifully written post. Happy Birthday to Amelia as both you and her cross yet another milestone.

  • Happy birthday, Amelia!

    You done good, Mama. Doing it the hard way ftw. πŸ˜€

  • Jane says:

    Happy Birthday little one. You sure are the apple of someone’s eye… You are very cute and so full of life. We are glad you are who you are and things happened for your Mom the way they did. Even if she isn’t a Dr. she gives us smiles every day. Go out there and kick some for Old Auntie Jane

  • Alyssa says:

    Happy Birthday to Ms. Amelia, who is sweet, beautiful, so smart and just sassy enough that I would want her on my side in a fight. Hope your day is as wonderful and you and your mommy are!

  • I can’t think of anything else to say other than, “AMAZING.”

    Happy Birthday, MILI!

  • Teala says:

    That just made me cry. She is incredibly adorable, and you are just wonderful. Happy birthday, Amelia!

  • melanie says:

    happy birthday Amelia, wow hard to believe its been 2 years already!

  • JenniferB says:

    Happy sparkling Birthday, little Princess!!!! Much love from Auntie Prankster #373 and her 2 crotch parasites, who all think you’re beautiful and amazing, and your mommy ain’t bad either. πŸ™‚


  • Chibi Jeebs says:

    “It’s in those unexpected moments that we discover who we really are; who we are really supposed to be.”

    Afuckingmen. Hard to remember in the heat of the moment, but almost always some measure of comfort after the fact.

    Happiest of happy days to Amelia Grace, Princess Mimi, Nie-Nie, Neal. Love you, baby girl. <3

  • leanne says:

    Happy Birthday, Amelia!

  • a says:

    Happy birthday, beautiful girl!

  • SamaraReads says:

    Happy happy birthday, darling Mimi! May your future remain bright and full of happiness and love.

  • Sunday says:

    Happy Birthday Baby! Keep kicking ASS!

  • The Duchess says:

    Beautiful, in so many ways. πŸ™‚

  • Erin says:

    Happy Birthday beautiful miracle girl! We love ya.

  • Erin says:

    Happy Birthday beautiful miracle girl! We love ya.

  • Rebecca says:

    Happy Birthday to the worlds toughest warrier. Keep on fighting we will clear you a path.

  • gypsygrrl says:

    ok. that last photo: Fairy Mili ~ HYSTERICAL! she looks like she just told someone to watch the fuck out! talk about a little girl on a mission. happy birthday, nie-nie! you have the most awesome mommy, so please dont murder her for the shoes. because then who will buy you the kickass dress and shoes and everything for your high school proms. really! pick your battles πŸ™‚

    your prankster aunt gypsy

    • I was thinking the same thing.
      She totally has the expression, “Bitch, don’t make me cut you and get blood on my pretty pinky fairy outfit. Then you will REALLY reap my wrath.”
      ***Waving hi to you and mommy, Nie Nie!***
      Happy Birthday, little ass-kicker!

  • Kelli says:

    Happy Birthday!!!

  • Kelly says:

    Happy Birthday to your tough little munchkin. She’s adorable πŸ™‚

  • Hana says:

    I just wanted to let you know that I am not, in general, a commenter (I’m the scourge of bloggers everywhere), but I had to on this post. I was in tears when I finished reading it.

    Your description of the cascade that set off your wonderful life was so like mine, and so helped me be at greater peace with the changes.

    There I was, first year graduate student in one of the most prestigious psychology PhD programs, being PAID to go to graduate school. And then my dad commits suicide. Two weeks after my wedding. Two years later I decide to leave the program and start a family instead of finishing up my PhD because, well, my priorities changed. And here I am, balancing my 6 month old firecracker on my hip. Sometimes (alot of times?) I get sad when I think I will never have that future that I thought I would, that I was *thisclose* to having. But then I realize exactly what you said is true–it is the unexpected moments that turn us into exactly who we are supposed to be.

    Thank you for this beautiful post.

  • TheTameOne says:

    Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl and also to her awesome mommy, because even though they get the presents, its really all about where we were the day they came around, isn’t it?

  • HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY Amelia!! As I tell my oldest daughter all the time cause she changed everything I am and will be “I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words How wonderful life is while you’re in the world” Elton John is a pretty smart guy sometimes LOL And I’m sure your mommy feels that way too.(not about the Elton John being a smart guy thing)And I know all your prankster Aunts and Uncles do too. Keep Kicking Ass and taking names! But try not to murder your mommy the Blobber world and I kinda need her she is my BFF after all.

  • The Resident Bitch says:

    Happy Birthday Amelia and you too Becky, after all this is a big day for both of you! I’m so happy for you both, you’re so amazing.

  • Pingback: Tweets that mention Life, Unexpected Happy Birthday Amelia Grace - Mommy Wants VodkaΒ |Β Mommy Wants Vodka --

  • Happy Birthday Amelia!

  • CycleNinja says:

    We love you, Mili. And Becky.

  • CycleNinja says:

    We love you, Mili. And Becky.

  • Kathykate says:

    B.E.A.utifully said, Dr. Aunt Becky. B.E.A.utiful.

  • Mallori says:


    This post is beautiful! Whether you are Dr. Aunt Becky or just Aunt Becky, I love your blogs. So much truth in them all πŸ™‚

  • Boot~C says:

    Happy Birthday~NieNie( & a ‘BOOP’ to you)

  • Momma Chaos says:

    Happy Birthday Amelia!!

  • Ms Dreamer says:

    ~Don’t be afraid to choke a bitch over some faboosh heels. We’ll bail you out.
    ~Don’t let her lie to you: your mom (my Aunt Becky) IS in fact, a doctor. She’s got a PhD in Awesome, with a concentration in EMT (eye of the motherfucking tiger).
    ~Have a happy birthday (even if you have to choke a bitch to do it — see line one)!

    Dr Aunt Becky
    You fucking rule.

  • AuntieEmBabes says:


  • katrina says:

    “it is in those unexpected moments that we discover who we really are… You are too wise for your years mahatma becky!!

    Happy, happy birthday to the Little Princess of the Bells…..and to her mommy!

  • Jessica B says:

    Sending HBD vibes to your little girlie. Hope you all have a great day! πŸ™‚

  • Erin says:

    That brought tears to my eyes. What an amazing little girl! And so friggin’ cute. (Now I want a girl, dangit.)

    Happy Birthday, Amelia! And to Aunt Becky: you are one awesome mother. She is so blessed to have you, always cheering her on and making it known (to her and the rest of the world) that she is KICK-ASS!

  • Kelly says:

    Happy Birthday beautiful niece Mimi.

  • Happy birthday, sweet, beautiful girl! You have touched more lives in your two short years than most people do in a lifetime. You and your mommy are wonderfully special people and I love you both.

  • Teri says:

    Happy Birthday Amelia! You are a Beautiful little girl!

  • andygirl says:

    happy birthday to Amelia! she’s so gorgeous.

  • Natalie says:

    Happy Birthday Amelia. She is a sweetie.

  • steph gas says:

    the world should be nervous with the two of you out to get it. not bad nervous, that fluttery nervous you get before a big day or before your first kiss or while signing the adoption papers (sorry, i just got a new kitteh). the best kind of nervous: the kind that means THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN and with you to, they are bound to be full of THE AWESOME.

  • Happy Birthday, beautiful!

  • irant says:

    Happy Birthday, Amelia!! You and your mom enjoy that birthday party!


  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMELIA! You are clearly taking no prisoners, and will obviously get EVERYTHING you want out of life, or ELSE. Please remember to NOT murder your Mom, we’re pretty fond of her.

  • Rock on, Amelia. Rock on.

  • Kadye says:

    Happy birthday!!!!!

  • Crystal says:

    Happy Birthday beautiful angel!! You got a pretty awesome mom!

  • Johi says:

    Happy Birthday sweet girl. What a precious treasure!!

  • Happy Birthday, Mimi! You’ve got so many people rooting for you, it’s ridiculous. And you make the cutest fairy ever. πŸ™‚

  • linlah says:

    Taking on the world one birthday at a time – have a happy one Amelia

  • tracy says:

    huge happy birthday hugs to Miss Amelia!!


  • Betty M says:

    happy, Happy Birthday!!

  • badbadwebbis says:

    She is the picture of determination. Those eyes seem to dare you to tell her no. To anything, so hide all of your shoes.

    And make-up. She’ll be decorating her face in no time.

    Happy birthday, Amelia. You’ll have no trouble beating your family into shape soon.

  • magpie says:

    happy birthday to your feisty one!

  • Angie says:

    Everyone’s already said it, but I can’t resist at least listing myself as one of those Auntie Pranksters whose solemn duty is to Kick Ass for Amelia On Demand.
    Happy birthday, beautiful girl.
    Happy birthday, beautiful girl’s kick-ass mother.

  • Jolie says:

    Love the pix. Amelia, you are a Pretty Powerful Pink Princess. And you rock a paci. You will always be pretty, especially while exerting your power, and always always always be a princess, cuz your Mommy is the Queen of Awesome.

  • Lauren Elyse says:

    Happy Birthday Ameila! You’re an inspiration to the world. <3

  • Brooke says:

    Happy Birthday, Amelia!! The Princess of the Bells has made it to her terrible twos! Can’t wait to see your next year, little lady.

    Also, I love that her birthday letter contains the words “penis,” “vagina,” and “fuck.”

  • jael says:

    As the week began, you shared about waking up with a tear drenched pillow. PTSD shanked some of your sleep and hope such that your pink cupcakes sparkled their own victory candles. Today you celebrate her light, your Princess of the Bells. I marvel how like contractions your sleepless nights earlier in the week were, the pain and push that precedes endless possibilities. Dwell there together, tummies tight with cupcake delight, in the ripe possibilities of your Mother/Daughter dance.

  • jael says:

    As the week began, you shared about waking up with a tear drenched pillow. PTSD shanked some of your sleep and hope such that your pink cupcakes sparkled their own victory candles. Today you celebrate her light, your Princess of the Bells. I marvel how like contractions your sleepless nights earlier in the week were, the pain and push that precedes endless possibilities. Dwell there together, tummies tight with cupcake delight, in the ripe possibilities of your Mother/Daughter dance.

  • onecookieshort says:

    Happy Birthday Amelia! Here’s to many more years of kicking ass and taking names later. You’re the fiercest fairy princess I’ve ever seen.

  • Amanda says:

    Watch out world indeed!

    Happy Birthday you lucky girl!

  • Angie M. says:

    that little girl is destined for BIG things!

    happy birthday nie-nie, sweet beautiful girl.

    and hugs to you aunt b… πŸ™‚

  • mumma boo says:

    Happy Birthday, Mili! We love you and your kickass mama, too.

  • Melissa says:

    Happy Birthday sweet and scary Mili! You are beautiful and you kick ass.

    And now a birthday present for your sweet Mama..

    Is there an imaginary cutoff period when
    Offspring become accountable
    For their own actions?
    Is there some wonderful moment when
    Parents can become detached spectators in
    The lives of their children and shrug,
    “It’s their life”, and feel nothing?

    When I was in my twenties,
    I stood in a hospital corridor
    Waiting for doctors to put a few stitches
    In my son’s head and I asked,
    ‘When do you stop worrying?’
    The nurse said,
    ‘When they get out of the accident stage..’
    My Parents just smiled faintly
    And said nothing.

    When I was in my thirties,
    I sat on a little chair in a classroom
    And heard how one of my children
    Talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
    And was headed for a career
    Making license plates.
    As if to read my mind, a teacher said,
    ‘Don’t worry, they all g o through this stage
    And then you can sit back,
    Relax and enjoy them.’
    My Parents just smiled faintly
    And said nothing.

    When I was in my forties,
    I spent a lifetime waiting
    For the phone to ring,
    The cars to come home,
    The front door to open.
    A friend said,
    ‘They’re trying to find themselves.
    ‘Don’t worry!
    In a few years, they’ll be adults.
    ‘They’ll be off on their own
    They’ll be out of your hair’
    My Parents just smiled faintly
    And said nothing.

    By the time I was 50,
    I was so tired of being vulnerable.
    I was still worrying over my children,
    But there was a new wrinkl e..
    Even though they were on their own
    I continued to anguish over their failures,
    Be tormented by their frustrations and
    Absorbed in their disappointments..
    And there was nothing I could do about it.
    My Parents just smiled faintly
    And said nothing.

    My friends said that
    When my kids got married
    I could stop worrying
    And lead my own life.
    I wanted to believe that,
    But I was haunted by My Parents’ warm smiles
    And their occasional,
    ‘You look pale. Are you all right’ ?
    ‘Call me the minute you get home’.
    Are you depressed about something?’

    My friends said that
    When I became a Grandparent
    That I would get to enjoy
    The happy little voices yelling
    Grandma! Grandpa!
    And now I find that I worry
    Just as much about the little ones
    As my big ones.
    How does anyone cope
    With all this Worry?

    Can it be that parents are sentenced
    To a lifetime of worry?
    Is concern for one another
    Handed down like a torch
    To blaze the trail of human frailties
    And the fears of the unknown?
    Is concern a curse or is it
    A virtue that elevates us
    To the highest form of earthly creation?

    Recently, one of my own children
    Became quite irritable, saying to me,
    ‘Where were you?
    I’ve been calling for 3 days,
    And no one answered
    I was worried.’
    I smiled a warm smile.
    The torch has been passed.

  • HumorSmith says:

    Happy birthday sweet girl! Ya done good Aunt Becky!!!

  • Adrienne says:

    “That’s the way life works. It’s in those unexpected moments that we discover who we really are; who we are really supposed to be. Maybe it’s not what we planned or what we thought we’d be doing, but it’s beautiful and it’s ours.”

    Speak it, sistah! Really, who was I before my own youngest child shattered my life?

    Happy happy happy birthday, beautiful Mili. Your bad-assery shines right on through!

  • Lannie says:

    Congratulations to the both of you. She’s beautiful, Becky πŸ™‚

  • Twitch says:

    Happy Birthday, little one!!! You are one amazing baby who has already kicked so much adversity square in the nuts! You mother gave you the world, do great things with it!

  • SharleneT
    Twitter: SolarChief

    Happy Birthday, Amelia, and lots of hugs, because I’m absolutely sure you’ve never even had one teeny-weeny little hug in your whole adorable life… You’ve just been totally enveloped in the biggest hugs in the whole wide world in the arms of your Momma who adores you and will always be there for you.

  • Becca says:

    Happy Birthday Amelia!! Rock hard little one, you are much loved!! πŸ™‚

  • NTE says:

    Happy Birthday, Amelia, Wonder Girl.

  • Jen P says:

    Happiest of Happy Birthdays to you, sweet, beautiful, sassy Amelia. And also to your mama, my Aunt Becky….

    I feel blessed to know both of you, even if it’s only through a computer screen.

  • Marie says:

    That made me tear up. Happy Birthday to Miss Amelia. May you celebrate many, many more.

  • darkfairymomma says:

    Happy happy birthday sweet girl!

  • Josefina says:

    Happy Birthday Amelia! xoxoxo

  • Brahm (alfred lives here)
    Twitter: alfredliveshere

    Happy birthday Amelia, and to you too Becky as well!!!!!!!!

  • GingerB says:

    Happy day, sweet Mimi.

    She has such power over the pranksters, in the middle of a busy day with two PT appointments, my own doc, and work, I still managed to spend some time pondering what you’d end up doing for the party, and if their would be sausages (besides the family).

  • GingerB says:

    Why does your blog think I am a robot? Why?

    I do know how to use there and their correctly, BTW, I was just testing you guys.

  • Heather says:

    Happy Birthday little doll! You will rule the world! πŸ˜‰

  • Neeroc says:

    Happy Birthday Amelia! Celebrate the heck out of that little girl Aunt Becky!

  • I just found you through Dysfiunctional Supermom and if she likes you then I knew I would!

    Happy Birthday to your little one, what a cutie!

    Now following!

    Megan (aka 1 Funky Woman)

  • Squatlo says:

    This post was ALMOST as beautiful as your daughter.

    Incredible birthday ode, hope you save it for her. She’ll treasure this.

  • Sunny Delaney says:

    Happy Happy Birthday Fairy Princess Amelia!! Amazing! I was just thinking I found your Mommy’s Blog right before you were born and have enjoyed it ever since! Hope you have a super special day!

  • Amy says:

    I’m a day late (as usual), but I just had to stop by anyway!

    Happy birthday to a gorgeous girl! I hope you had a lovely and amazing day, sweet cheeks! πŸ™‚

  • Nikki says:

    Amelia: I may be a day late, but I want you to know that you are an amazing dream of a little girl, and your mama is one amazing woman. Because of you, I now have a VERY dear friend. Mili: Please keep kicking life’s ass, it inspires us all. Just when people think there is no hope, there is no point, and everything is all crap … you come along and kick their stupid ass into gear!!! Love you baby! I hope you had a great day, and I can’t wait for the Great Meet Up!

  • Yeah, life has a way of handing you your balls on a platter…doesn’t it?

    Happy Birthday to your baby girl.

  • dagnydarling says:

    What an awesome post. She is gorgeous, and a teeny-tiny bad ass.

  • Kristin
    Twitter: dragondream

    Happy Birthday Mimi…I love you and your mommy!

  • Dora says:

    TRYING to catch up on my reading. Amelia is TWO!?!?! No fucking way! She was just born the other day. Next thing you know she’ll be asking for the car keys.

    Happy belated birthday, Amelia! The Pranksters would happily kiss ass for you, but that’s not necessary, ’cause you are one kick ass little girl. Your brothers are not timid boys, but they would be wise to fear your wrath. Big hugs and kisses from Auntie Dora and Sunshine. We love you and your awesome Mommy! Mwah!

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