The title should probably read “Just The 4 Of Us” since The Davers has been working, well, like the work-a-holic that he is (rough estimate is 80 hours a day, but who’s counting?), but I’d rather not sound like this post is all about bitching about being alone with my kids every.minute.of.every.day. because it’s totally not. Also: how awesome was THAT run-on sentence? (Answer: Awesomeness to the max!).
I remember when people would routinely stop me in the store, my biggest son beside us, my belly swollen with one child while her middle big brother played wack-a-mole with her as I held him in my arms, sweating, panting and generally full of The Unsexiness. They’d almost always say the same thing “Man, you’re going to have your hands FULL!” and I never knew how to respond. On the one hand was the obvious “Duh!” and on the other was my personal favorite “You’re being awfully sanctimonious, you fat sack of shit.” I mean, what do you say to the most obvious thing someone could point out. And they always said it so…gleefully. Like they were about to laugh at my misery.
ASIDE TIME! The other annoying thing that people liked to say? ‘”You’ve obviously been busy!” The implication is, of course, that The Daver and I hump like bunnies. Which would be more appropriate if our children weren’t nearly 2 and 5 years apart. But whatever. How do you respond to THAT? “Oh YEAAAHHHH! The sex is GREAT! And that new butt-plug? SWEEEEET!” *waggles eyebrows suggestively*
But even as those sanctimonious assholes would tell me that as I rolled my eyes (internally) at them, I knew full well that they were right. I was going to have my hands full. From experience, though, I knew better than to really spend a whole lot of time worrying about it. To me, worrying about that was like worrying about how it would feel to do a bowel prep for a colonoscopy. Sure, it sucks, but no amount of worrying would really prepare you for how much it would suck.
I hate to be the ones to inform them, though, that they were dead wrong. It doesn’t suck. Not even remotely.
Alex is having a hard time, that’s not debatable, but I’m beginning to wonder if it isn’t the standard 2 year old growing pains. He’s quick to decide never, ever to touch a food NO!NO!NO! that yesterday was his favorite (thanks to Ben’s autism, I’m intimately familiar with food issues and I don’t sweat them). He tantrums at the drop of a well, ball, these nasty long and drawn-out affairs that involve him throwing himself around the room while weeping histrionically and inconsolably (come to think of it, he sounds an awful lot like his mother).
He loves his sister as fiercely as someone his age possibly can, and when all else fails, I can throw him outside to play. But not in traffic. That would be uncool.
And Ben, oh my Ben, well, he just adores having a little sister. He’s the big brother I wish I’d had (my own frequently wiped the dog’s ass with a rag and then wiped my face with it. Oh, and pretended to be the boogeyman in my closet) and I’m shocked that someone as sweet as he could have come from my own loins.
That said, he’s developing the 7-year old attitude and lip and is actively trying to give me more grey hairs. Did I tell you he’s going to have 3 wives when he grows up? Because this is his plan: a harem of women.
Well, with all those ladies, one of them is bound to like me as a mother-in-law, right? Or is the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship always weird? Inquiring minds want to know.
And my wee cinnamon girl, my sweetest baby Amelia. She is wonderous and amazing and if she would only fall asleep without active work, she would be the ideal baby. She is also my last baby and I’m still not sure how I feel about that. But that, my fair Internet, is a story for another day.
She makes my family, the family I never knew I would be lucky enough to have, complete.
Diaper blow-outs and all.
Now I WAS going to put pictures here (although sadly for my #1 Fan, I will not be posting pictures of myself breast-feeding while walking through a store. Because I don’t have enough hands to take a picture), but my wordpress upgrade won’t let me. Well, it will, but the pictures are fracking huge and it looks weird. So, Internet, I am sorry, but I have no pictures for you right now.