I am, apparently, dying of what we shall call “airplane sickness” but is probably the flu. This means that I cannot effectively post anything or do anything of substance besides sit here and sweat and occasionally moan pathetically.

If this is the flu, I fully intend to sue, as I did with the Swine Flu and I expect that once again, I will win. Thank you, The People’s Court for ruling in my favorite over that fucking pig and it’s stupid virus.

But the cruise, Pranksters, well, it’s happening. I’m beyond excited that all of you are showing interest in it and Angie and I are putting together more information and we should have it all set up and neatly ready for take-off within the next couple of weeks.

We’re thinking March 2011 because March is a SHITTY ass month, but we’re not solid on dates yet.

Here’s what I CAN tell you.

You do NOT need a blog.

You do NOT need to have a POPULAR blog, if you are a blogger. Neither of us are A-listers or give a shit about that kind of thing, so don’t bother getting worried about that stuff.

You don’t even need to have an internet connection or know either of us.

You can bring your kids/spouse/family/whatever. Most ships have a daycare that you can send your crotch parasites to. Just don’t count on Your Aunt Becky to babysit. Imma be drinking heavily.

The cruise, however needs a name. So far, Angie and I have come up with: “Aunt Becky’s Family Reunion,” which is pretty awesome. But I want to see if you can do better. The “I’m On A Boat” is kinda funny, but won’t be by then. So we have to do better, y’all.

What do you think? What’s a good name? And what else do we need to do?

106 thoughts on “It’s Time To Play Name That Cruise!

  1. I think you meant March 2011? Cause if you meant March 2010 that would be kind of funny. Everybody already missed it. You could call it the booze & Jews cruise. But you would have to find a few Jews to go on it for that one to really have a punch. Boozin’ & Cruisin’ with Becky. STFU I’m on a cruise bitch, is another one.

  2. I was going to write something funny. I mean, not actually funny, not something other people find funny, but something that’d make me laugh to myself as I sit alone in my office.

    Sadly, I’ve got nothing. Nada. The lonely, empty space inside the cone inside the cotton candy.

    You can study the previous metaphor, it was pretty deep.

    Anyway, guess I have nothing to say.

    Sorry for wasting your time.

    Better luck with the next comment.

  3. Hmm… March 2010? Is this a time-machine cruise? *wink* methinks you prob meant 2011.. stupid flu.

  4. Well I hope you feel better and will blame that damn ICK for your date issue – you mean March 2011, right? Has to be. Sorry to be the asshole to point that out.
    Anyway. That’s plenty time for me to “come out of the blog closet and tell my husband I’m going on a blog cruise” right? Plenty.

    “Ship of Fools?”

  5. That’s plenty time for me to “come out of the blog closet and tell my husband I’m going on a blog cruise” right? Plenty.

    “Ship of Fools?”

  6. I have a couple suggestions:
    Bitches on a Boat
    Pranksters at Sea
    and I will probably come up with something brilliant the second I hit post.

  7. Have to say I like BB’s suggestion of “Pranksters in Paradise”. Maybe we can get Jimmy Buffet to write a theme song for us. I’m sure he could include “shut your whore mouth” and “crotch parasites” in a pleasing ditty somehow.

  8. Hmm, there are a few amusing anagrams for Aunt Becky’s Prankster Cruise here are some of my favorites:

    A Cab Persnickety User Trunks
    A Cab Princesses Turkey Trunk
    A Cab Creepier Skunks Nuts Try
    A Cab Seersucker Ink Pun Tryst

    1. We better get a bunch of single male bloggers on this to go. Unless we want to call it the Lez Boat. (sung, not said). Not that there is anything wrong with that.

  9. I have to say I am partial to “bitches on a boat”
    but to make it more blog friendly maybe
    blogger bitches on a boat
    Aunt Becky’s Bitches on a Boat?

    A Boat of Merry Pranksters
    ties in nicely with the community name…


    Bitches by the Boatload…

    and…I’m done.

  10. Dude, are you ever not sick? Every time you get well, you turn around and get some illness. Get better, now. I said so.

    I cannot think of names for the cruise. You could design a bedazzled, and snarkey t-shirt for everyone to wear…something along the lines of a cross between your card collection and your old cell phone, only on a shirt?

  11. How about the “I don’t drink but still want to go before I stab one of my own children with the left arm I have chewed off due to extreme frustration” cruise? Just a thought. Not that I personally ever feel that way, you know.

  12. I vote for the cruise setting sail from somewhere near Ft. Lauderdale FL.

    See, that way I could drop my crotch parasite off with my folks and they could have some bonding time and totally turn her against me while I get drunk with you-all.

    Sound like a plan?

  13. My brain is fried so all I can come up with is Crusin & Boozin. Then I remembered that people go on Booze Cruises all the damn time and I am not original AT.ALL.

    I vote for Pranksters In Paradise as well.

  14. Band of Merry Pranksters has a certain appeal. It’s vaguely intimidating which is always fun in a confined space. It will make people watch us closely which makes us watching them even more fun because it will weird them out.

    But I second Bitches in Boats cause I really want to tell everyone i know that I am going on the 1st Annual Bitches in Boats cruise.

    I vote Mar 17-20th. My kids are out of school for parent teacher conferences and I’m sure DH can step up to teh plate and go to both while dragging both boys along. After all, I’ve done it twice now due his last minute work schedule changes.

  15. Aaaaaand sorry about the triple post. Feel free to delete as appropriate.

    Aunt Becky at Sea: Man or Mermaid?
    You Cruise, You Loose!
    Titanic 2: In Blog We Trust.

  16. I can’t stop laughing at Megan’s “Better luck next comment” statement which is followed by “shit-faced Ahoy,” from Darius Whiteplume. Yes, indeed, you did get better luck on the next comment.

    Who really cares what it’s called? What I want to know is – who’s lining up the sponsors so we can all go for free?

    I do like the Family Reunion, though. And, of course, we shouldn’t forget Aunt Becky’s World Tour, Now With Added Pranksters!

  17. I like Bitches on a Boat or Blogger Bitches on a Boat. It’s too much pressure to think of something right away. I’ll sleep on it.

  18. Dude. This is so fuckin awesome. I can’t wait. March works, it’s close enough for me to call it an anniversary present from the hubby. I just have one request – can we make sure it’s NOT on the boat with the creepy hands? Just sayin…. As for names.. I got nothin original because I think I’m mostly brain dead at the moment, but I really like Aunt Becky and the Merry Pranksters World Tour for the G-ratedness factor and being able to wear it on a shirt, which must have sparkles, BTW. Although Bitches on a Boat has a certain ring to it…

  19. I like the family reunion idea. I already refer to you as ‘my Aunt Becky’. Then I can tell everyone I’m going on a cruise for a family reunion to meet my long lost Aunt Becky.

  20. I had a list of funnies, but I can’t top ‘Pranksters in Paradise.’ Sheesh. I was all ‘Mommy Wants Vodka on the Pool Deck.’

  21. Names:
    Let me rephrase. “MOMMY WANTS VODKA! CRUISE!!” Yes, yelling indiscriminently words like “vodka” and “cruise” to bystanders will, I believe, get you those things.

    Ahem. Next.
    “Anut Becky’s Bitchin Boat”
    Gots a Tennessee Top Hat / FemMullet viber.
    P.S. The misspelling of “Aunt” is intentional. Was initially a typo, but I kept it. Cause it somehow makes sense – a sense of stunted cornholery ambition.

    It’s what it is. The double “BigBig” feels Caribbean. You’re welcome. BTW – feel free to pronounce “boat” as BO-at. For any reason.

    Thank you for your consideration. I apologize for not finding a way to include a douchebag reference.

    You make me want to submit cruise names. That’s hot.


    1. I’m sorry, but Kids Overboard is freakin’ funny. Wrong, but funny. Nearly spit my tea onto my screen while reading that. My suggestion is:You shut your whore mouth and get on this boat! A little pushy maybe, but so what.
      Love you Becky – feel better, dammit!

  22. i love all the suggestions – but my one please please is can you cruise over here to england and pick me up???

    end of march is perfecto so i can celebrate my birthday with you bitches on board!

  23. Although the odds of getting my not-into-boating-thankyouverymuch husband on a cruise is hiiiiightly unlikely, I will either A. bludgeon him into submission, B. leave my kids on grandma’s door or C. be there in spirit. And since I am totally (a dork) into word play, how about The Bruise! (You know – blogging cruise?) Or the Clog? Or maybe not. πŸ˜‰

    1. Oh, and can I come even though I’m not a bitch and don’t have boobies? I promise to sit quietly, hands folded, eyes forward, feet flat on the floor.

  24. Maybe you can call it “Boats and Hos” (a little reference from the movie Step Brothers, not an insult). For some reason that phrase cracks me up. This sounds like fun. I would love to do something like this. I have never been on a cruise and my husband has been trying to find one we’d like so you never know. I think I would leave my crotch parasites at home though so I don’t have to work the mommy hang over thing. Keep us posted on the details.

  25. I don’t care what you name it, I just wanna go! lol

    It’s way to early and there has not yet been nearly enough caffine for me to even attempt brilliance this morning. πŸ˜‰ But keep us updated on this cruise business.

  26. Want to be there even if family can’t make it. Will bring my anti-hangover kit (Excedrin Migraine and Zantac). Don’t know if I want to bring my husband anyway: He doesn’t know my Aunt Becky and doesn’t watch Dexter.
    I am overwhelmed by the sheer awesomeness of a cruise. Don’t care what you call it, as long as it has a cussword and the T-shirt is Bedazzled. And a non-spandex option. Don’t need to worry about a diet on a cruise.
    Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with. -Sex and the City

  27. Since everyone is coming including maybe some of us who don’t blog, but thoroughly enjoy the blogs…..

    Non-blogging bloggers, aka We want group discount deals damn it. πŸ™‚

    That is all.

  28. Although I would give my left nut to be on a cruise with Aunt Becky and the Pranksters, this has not been my year and 2011 isn’t really shaping up to be, either.

    Besides, since I can’t imbibe, and I suffer from crippling social anxiety, all I would do is sit on the fringes of the group, looking kind of like the kid in 5th grade no one wanted to sit next to because she ate paste. Then occasionally, I’d burst out with something inappropriate and totally not related to the conversation like “I THINK LAVENDER PINE SOL SMELLS LIKE CAT PEE!”. Awk-WARD.

  29. I want to be on this boat. Whatever the cruise is called. We could steal a name that I’ve heard and call it a Booze Cruise. And can I invite friends? We have been dying to go on a cruise forever.
    Oh M Geee I will totally try and figure out how to get on this cruise. Even if it means selling my child.

    “I sold my child to go on this cruise, cruise”

  30. * Pranksters Ahoy!
    * You Shut Your Whore Mouth When I’m Cruisin’
    * The Prankster Tour 2011

    I’ve never been on a cruise and gotta say, if this thing happens, I might just need to go.

  31. So I realize that I may in fact blow all my cool points with some people by admitting to this but: I don’t drink. My reasons are partially religious but mostly b/c theres a bunch of addicts in my family tree (ALL varieties) and thats pretty much scared me straight as far as abusing any substance other than chocolate.

    The point of this confession is this: I’m thinkin the cruise thing would be completely and totally awesome, but do you think I’d be bored outta my mind if all of y’all are completely plastered and I’m the lone sober person on the ship? Will there be non-binge-drinking activities?


  32. Pranksters for Sail
    Knotty Band of Pranksters
    Pranksters at the Helm

    Grab your ditty bag, skivvies and peacoat! It’s time for Aunt Becky’s Bloggers Barge to set sail! So muster up your party and head out with the Pranksters for Sail Cruise! Guaranteed to be a SNAFU of a great time so long as no one gets deep six’ed.

    aw hell i don’t know i am all out of ideas. ill try some more later.

      1. Um, so NOT old. When you realize that you no longer need to bleach platinum/silver streaks in your hair for highlights, but instead need to dye some of the gray back to brown to achieve the effect, THEN you get to call yourself old.

  33. My top 10, submitted for your consideration…

    10) The Drunk Boat: The Curse of Isaac

    9) The Look at the Pretty Oil Cruise…Sponsored by BP

    8) The Dramamine & Vodka Boat

    7) The What Do You Mean “Cash Bar”? Cruise

    6) Looking for the PoopDeck. πŸ˜‰

    5) We found the boat, where’s the friggin’ bar.

    4) Mommy Wants Vodka…& So Do I

    3) The Pranksters Super Happy Fun Time…on a Boat

    2) Aunt Becky’s Family Reunion at Sea (aka get drunk & tell your brother what you really think of his slutty wife…bitch tried to tounge kiss Dad AND Mom at Xmas…ugh). *too long, I know, but now you know what the holidays are like at home*

    1) Aunt Becky’s SS Booze-tanic.

  34. And the nearly made its…

    1) the Shut your whore mouths while Mommy’s drinking! Cruise
    2) Mommywantsvodka…but needs to barf
    3) Not what I meant when I said I needed a stiff one
    4) The fish is oily…but it’s a buffet!!!
    5) Pranksters Excess Cruise

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