Now to those of you who are worried that I might be merely posting boring pictures of my garden, let me assure you that this is exactly what I am doing. But (always a butt with me), just like a shitty after school special, there is a moral. Although, not in a Jerry Springer Let’s Have A Moment way.
Also, can you vote for me? Please? Pretty please with a nutsack on top? It will help my fragile ego churn out less boringest posts. Vote here and here and here. I’ll make out with you.
The first link is to a brand new award that someone cooler than me nominated this blog for.
And I want to hump them for it. Thank you.
First, let me show you my rose bush:
Okay, so this is my climbing rose bush. I planted it last year in the midst of my miscarriages as I find gardening to be nearly as cathartic as beating people senseless with my fists of fury. Because gardening means less jail time!
Felonies or not, this rose bush is insanely awesome and healthy looking. It’s far bigger and better than it should be.
But wait…what’s that pipe say? I can…hardly…make…it out.
OH EM GE.
My rose is fracking radioactive!
So that’s the way it is in my family.