Aunt Becky: ‘I *so* don’t get this song.’

The Daver: ‘Wait, isn’t this America?’

Aunt Becky: ‘Yeah…or maybe it’s ‘Chicago.’ The 70’s had a lot of bands named after cities. Either way, what the fuck do they mean- ’25-06-24’? That makes no sense.’

The Daver: ‘What are you *talking* about? It’s ’25 or 6 to 4’!’

Aunt Becky: ‘…’

The Daver: ‘You know, like 3:35 or 3:26 am.’

Aunt Becky: ‘…’

Aunt Becky: ‘It is not!! There is no way!’

The Daver: ‘What the hell did you think it meant?’

Aunt Becky: ‘I don’t know…maybe a combination to a lock or something? No, I refuse to believe this song is about a time of day.’

The Daver: ‘And a locker combination makes more sense to you?’

Aunt Becky: ‘No! That’s why I *said* that I don’t get this song, dumbass!’

The Daver: ‘It’s about smoking dope, Becky.’

Aunt Becky: ‘I refuse to believe that in all my years being a pothead that I never could figure out that this is a drug song. I have a sixth *sense* about this crap! I mean ‘Lake Shore Drive….get it ‘L.S.D’?’

The Daver: ‘Are you still bitter that you couldn’t do the ‘Dark Side of the Moon’/ ‘Wizard of Oz’ thing?

Aunt Becky: ‘I cannot discuss this with you. You wouldn’t understand. You were off being ‘good’ while I tried to determine the best liquid to put in my bong. Creme de Menthe was a hands down favorite.’

The Daver: ‘Fine.’

“…”

“…”

(three days later)

“…”

Me: ‘Is it really 25 or 6 to 4?’

————

What song lyrics have you completely screwed up, Internet? I know that I cannot be the only one who thought that Radar Love = Red-Eye Love.


Comments = full of the awesome. Like gravy. I can haz an RSS RSS feed .

86 Responses to It’s Captain Obvious To The Rescue!

  • Ms. Moon says:

    Go ahead and wallow. Besides, I like that post and I believe we’ve all had that experience with one song or maybe, uh, like hundreds.
    Me, anyway.
    My favorite, the CLASSIC, of course is Jimi Hendrix’s line, “Excuse me while I kiss the sky,” which we all translated to “Excuse me while I kiss this guy.”
    Still sounds like that to me.

  • ryanandjoesmom
    Twitter: ryanandjoesmom
    says:

    when I first heard Michael Jackson sing ‘The Girl is Mine’ with Paul McCartney – I thought MJ was a woman and that it was a song about a custody battle.

  • Badass Geek says:

    Hey, Love.

    Otherwise known as “Layla”.

  • Lola says:

    Oh, rant away. I’d be bullshit if I was going to be stuck at Pussypalooza without a man, too!!!

    I’m pretty sure I never get the words or the meanings right to any song, so it’s impossible to choose. I like to make up my own words anyway, while I smoke my bong filled with sambuca.

  • I hate it when it feels like your own imagined lyrics are way better than the original. The radio-safe version of the “Signs” cover by Tesla matches the original song by Five Man Electrical Band — something like, “Sign, sign, everywhere a sign/Blocking out the scenery, breaking my mind.”

    It’s obvious when you hear it by Five Man Electrical Band, but I first heard the song by Tesla, and I thought they were saying, “Talking up the scenery.” Much better than “blocking out,” IMHO, and waaaaaaay better than Telsa’s concert version of “Fucking up the scenery.”

  • Anita says:

    Lenny Kravitz “Are You Gonna Go My Way” sounded like “Icing On My Wings” ’cause that would make more sense wouldn’t it?

    I have several unflattering rants saved as drafts and while they will never see the light of day it felt good … really good to get it all out.

  • MK says:

    Pour some sugar on me. I can NEVER get the lyrics right.

  • Suzy Voices says:

    I used to think Radar Love was Red Hot Love! I’m sure there are many others, I just can’t remember them right now.

    And I never knew that Chicago song was about drugs. I am so naive.

  • Extreme Kickass says:

    First of all, I never put two and two together with the whole Lake Shore Drive = LSD thing. I feel like a dumbass.

    Additionally, I can’t think of any songs off the top of my head that I screw the lyrics up, with the exception of one. Saved by the Bell. “When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warnin'” always sounded like “and the markets’ outta order” to me. Not only does it not make sense, but I’m the dork of the century for knowing almost all the words to the Saved by the Bell theme song. *sigh*

  • Mrs Soup says:

    I am horrible with most songs. Like the CSI theme song “Who Are You” by the Who. One would think I could get the main part right. Since it’s the title. But no. The first hundred times we watched the show, I would sing along and go “Ooooooo ah ooooo”. Mr. Soup FINALLY had to hold me gently by the shoulders and go “Dear, you do realize there are actual words there, right?”. Now, if I ever want to make him roll his eyes REALLY hard, I just sing the sounds (we watch a lot of CSI) and he will just shake his head.

  • Gina says:

    I thought Boston was singing “I just want to have some piece of pie” – Never realized the title was Piece of Mind until Satellite radio. Laugh, I know it is ridiculous but think about it, Piece of Pie works out if you think of it metaphorically.

    p.s. I didn’t know get the 25 or 6 to 4 thing either. I learned something new today – thanks!

  • Oh I hate that song! HATe iT! I didn’t know it was about drugs but probably because I am too wrapped up in hating it to listen to it properly.

    I’ve botched numerous lyrics over the years. I can’t recall any at the moment but currently DS1 sings “bye bye American Pie” as “high fly apple can pie.”

  • Swirl Girl says:

    okay — I have then best misinterpreted lyrics on the face of the planet –

    and maybe it’s because, I too – used white creme de menthe (left no stains when should there have been tippage) in my Apogee ..

    here goes:

    Deep Purple’s Smoke on the Water will always – – to me- – be Smoke Covered Worm Turd

    sing it loud with that grinding guitar riff and you will see what I mean.

  • Tina says:

    Beaver fest 2009 *giggles*

    you want whiny? I am composing a very dark post right now.

  • a says:

    First, in case Captain Obvious has not pointed this out to you, America is not a city. It might be a town or village somewhere, but it is not a city. Mostly, it’s a country.

    The one I ALWAYS mis-hear is a Rob Thomas song. Lonely, I think. 2nd verse. He says “Open up to me like you do your girlfriends,” but I always hear “Open up to me so I can do your girlfriends.” I think it’s probably more accurate my way.

    So, does that mean that the Daver cannot go to Blogher or does that mean he has competition from another sausage?

  • Amanda says:

    “Tiny Dancer” will always be “Tony Danza” in my mind.

  • Minnie says:

    I had no clue. If that was the case a 4:20 would have been more effective.

  • I have a friend that we call Norm(a) Crosby. She gets it wrong all the time. As the queen of misheard lyrics, she is responsible for the following gems:

    In Silent Night “’round yon virgin” heard as “Brown Young Virgin”

    In I’d Really Love to See You Tonight ” I’m not talkin bout movin in” heard as “I’m not talkin bout my linen”

    In Purple Haze “‘scuse me while I kiss the sky.” heard as “‘scuse me while I kiss this guy”

    In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida heard as “In the garden of Eden”

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  • Sarah says:

    I’ve heard people say that they thought the song “Our Lips are Sealed” by Belinda Carlisle was actually “Alex the Seal”
    I’m sorry about BeaverFest :(

  • Io says:

    Ohhhhhhh. Dude, I totally was thinking football scares or something else equally non-fitting.
    My college roommate had all sorts of funny ideas about John Mellancamp lyrics.

  • Io says:

    Er *scores*, rather.

  • lady lemon says:

    Ok, ok. Woah. I think you mean “3:35 or 3:34 am”. (25 or 26 minutes to four??) Right? Otherwise, I totally DO NOT UNDERSTAND this freaky rock n’ roll math you are working with!

    I was always confused about “Home on the Range” when it says “seldom is heard, a discouraging word”. As a kid, I thought this song was trying to say that “seldom” is a discouraging word.

    Also, in the song “California Girls” by the Beach Boys, I thought that “I wish they all could be California Girls” went “I wish they’d offered me California, oooo”.

    I was a genius, what can I say.

  • Aerosmith: ‘Dude Looks Like A Lady’ always sounded like “Do the Funky Lady’. Go ahead, you can laugh at me.

  • Cassie says:

    My husband never, ever gets any lyrics to any song correct. The stuff that comes out of his mouth when he is singing is absolutely hilarious.

  • Kendra says:

    In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida is *supposed* to be “In the garden of Eden,” it was just sung with such a messed up voice that it came out completely unintelligibly. (Don’t ask how I know that. I can’t remember where I learned it, but I assure you it was completely nerdy–NPR or something. Nothing cool.)

    My friend’s little sisters used to sing “Later on, we’ll perspire… as we dream by the fire.” I loved listening to them sing!

    And my husband still swears that in the “Sopranos” theme song, it sounds “got a boom-boom in your eye.”

    I’ve just accepted that I don’t understand anyone, written or spoken. I don’t so much try anymore.

  • Kendra says:

    I also don’t make any sense. I meant: I don’t understand anyone, speaking or singing.

  • kalakly says:

    My husband thought, after years of being forced to listen to Kenny Rogers by his mother, that the song “You picked a fine time to leave me Luciille” chorus went, “with 400 children and a crap in the field” instead of 4 hungry children and a crop in the field”….go figure.

  • GingerB says:

    Examples from self and friends include:

    There’s a bathroom on the right (bad moon on the rise)

    Knock, knock, knock on wood, dinkleberry knock knock knock on wood (think you better)

    I do know Mike Ditka (Mandinka – Sinead O’Connor)

    Danskin on trial (Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial – Green Day, “Time of Your Life”)

    If you love this humor, there is a funny little book called “Scuse me while I kiss this guy” and then two more that followed it. Check the humor section of the bookstore, they are little and cheap and can provide hours of entertainment around the campfire – one of the highlights for me in those books was from Led Zeppelin:

    And there’s a wino down the road . . . I should have stolen Oreos

  • baseballmom says:

    Hahaha-just yesterday my 7 yr. old was playing Guitar Hero Aerosmith (I bought it cause I like the songs) and singing, ” Alla ya douche” (All the Young Dudes). I have a few good ones, but my memory is wiped out, thanks to bong hits with plain old h20…never thought of trying anything else! I’ll check back later when I remember!

  • laura says:

    One of my sister’s friends used to think that “Machine Head” by Bush was actually “Mushy Head”.

    Thanks to her I still sing that way.

  • Loo says:

    Did you know that when Townsend says Eminence Front he is not actually saying Living in Trucks?

    Me neither…

  • sky says:

    I still don’t get it? 25 or 6 to 4? Like 25 mins or 6 mins to 4? Huh?

    Off the top off my head? I always thought it was red hot love and Blister in the Sun? I still want to swing Twister in the Sun.

    My husband’s the funniest though. He’s french so he screws up all kinds of lyrics which allows me to point and laugh.

  • Sandy says:

    I always hated that Chicago song for that very reason. I hate songs where I can’t tell what the lyrics are saying. Thank God for Google.

  • Hope says:

    The ants are our friends, they’re blowin’ in the wind
    The ants are is (yes, I know that’s not gramatically correct) blowin in the wind.

    I hate Chicago. Always have, always will. I’m not going to waste any mental energy figuring out their lyrics.

  • Lisa says:

    The post and the comments were hilarious! Great laugh for my day. Now that we are all in a great mood, bring on the rant…

  • Oh, you mean you CAN’T complain on your own blog without retribution? Hmph. Well, I never…

    When my oldest son was 3, there was a show called Digimon, and the theme song went “digimon, digital monsters, digimon are the champions,” one day he was singing along and said, “digimon, digital monsters, digimon are the JACKASS!” I wonder where he heard that word???

    A few years ago, he was singing in his room one day and I just happened to overhear him singing, “Errrrrrbody in da club eatin’ chips (whisper) errrrrbody in da club eatin’ chips.” (Everybody in the club gettin’ tipsy). I still think that it’s frickin’ hilarious.

  • Venti Vixen says:

    Bee Gee’s “More than a Woman” = baldheaded woman.
    Our Lips are Sealed = Alex the seal

  • SciFi Dad says:

    I thought it was “red hot love”.

  • Kristine says:

    There’s a song out there from a couple years ago that I swear says “elephant, elephant!”

  • kate says:

    i did not understand this when you first posted it, and i still don’t. what does the locker combo have to do with pot? and how is 25 or 6 to 4 the same as 3:35 or 3:26 am? w? t? f?

    (also. tiny dancer.)

    (yon tinny lizard. swear to god.)

  • GingerB says:

    I keep checking back to see if someone explains Becky’s song because I am totally foxed.

    And I thought of everyone’s favorite Mexican song: “One Ton Tomato” played every Cinco de Mayo.

  • Sunny says:

    I am so, so terribly confused. It’s still a locker combination as far as I’m concerned.

  • My fave two come from my kids:
    Daughter sang ” I really dig those rhythm and blues” in American Pie as “I really dig those women and booze.” Interesting idea from a then-4 year old.

    Son thought Ticket to Ride was actually Chicken to Ride. We still all belt it out like that -” SHE’S GOT A CHICKEN TO RIDE! AND SHE DON’T CARE!”

  • Susan says:

    I know better but it’s much more fun to sing, “Little Weinie,” instead of Elton John’s “Little Jeanie.” I ‘m mature like that.

  • Katy says:

    Get your money for nothin’…… And your chips for free ~ Dire Straits

    We did a symphony show with Peter Cetera this past spring. You want f-ed up? Imagine a bunch of violinists playing backup to 25 or 6 to 4. I totally can’t wait until Brittany Spears is old enough to start doing symphony shows.

  • Betty in NC says:

    My husband…who is actually quite intelligent…thought that Stevie Nicks was singing “One Wing Dove” instead of “White Wing Dove” Hilarious!!! Everytime it comes on the radio I laugh at him.

    It only makes him love me more!

  • Sara says:

    You know, I think I said this the last time you posted this, but I can rock out 25 or 6 to 4 on the french horn, but sure as hell couldn’t have told you it was a pot smoking song!

    As for misheard lyrics? Wonderwall to me = Wonderbra. Cause after all…

    And? Bowling for Soup’s Girl all the Bad Guys Want? Totally heard (and called a radio station to confirm) Girl on a Fat Guy’s Nuts.

  • Reticent says:

    I’m glad you brought this up. I guess you’re right, it is early in the morning at 25 (or 6) to 4 AM.
    I’ve always wondered what those lyrics meant and I never took the time to find out, but here they are;

    Lyrics to 25 Or 6 To 4 :
    (R. Lamm)

    Waiting for the break of day
    Searching for something to say
    Flashing lights against the sky
    Giving up I close my eyes
    Sitting cross-legged on the floor
    25 or 6 to 4
    Staring blindly into space
    Getting up to splash my face
    Wanting just to stay awake
    Wondering how much I can take
    Should I try to do some more
    25 or 6 to 4
    Feeling like I ought to sleep
    Spinning room is sinking deep
    Searching for something to say
    Waiting for the break of day
    25 or 6 to 4
    25 or 6 to 4

  • Nancy says:

    God, we used to intentionally change all the lyrics to the songs to make then as raunchy as possible. They still crack me up whenever I hear them.

  • Sarah A. says:

    Remember that Seal song, Kiss From A Rose? For a long time I thought “to me you’re like a growing addiction…” was “to me you’re like a Roman dictionary…” Did that make sense? No. Did it bother me? Not really, I mostly hummed through the song anyway.

  • Melody says:

    the other day, my 4yr old was singing ” I love the tiger, it’s the feel of the fur” to “eye of the tiger” That song will never be the same to me.. ;)

  • The Boss says:

    I HATE that song! I love Chicago but i can not stand that song. Also for years and years i sang the the song “Layla” as “Hey, Love”. Badass still makes fun of me for it whenever it comes on the radio.

  • PajamaChick says:

    I started laughing so hard I peed my pants for two, very important reasons.
    1) Jesus has the whole world “in his pants.”
    and, worse,
    2) Instead of “might as well face it, I’m addicted to love” I had a friend who thought it was “my anus full of raisins I’m addicted to love” which, um, makes NO sense but I still sing it that way everytime.

  • When I was a kid I thought the phil Collins song she’s an easy lover was actually she-ze-ne-zanada. This made much more sense to me then the real lyrics.

  • Chris in NY says:

    I can’t STAND that song….come to think of it, Chicago might be one of my least favorite bands ever.

    My son, maybe 4 years old or so at the time, started to sing “The Farmer in the Dell”…..Instead of singing “the farmer takes a wife” he sang “the farmer takes a life.” I thought my mother would fall off her chair since she was laughing so hard. I said, “Really? Must have been a bad year on the farm.”

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  • Gail says:

    When I was a kid, I thought it was “when I come back to bed, I want steak in my face” instead of “when I come back to bed, someone’s taken my place” (Cecilia, by Simon & Garfunkel).

    Oy.

  • Coco says:

    Up until last year (when I was ungraciously corrected by Hub) I thought the first line to that old 80’s Dance-Hall Classic “I Ran” was “I was a lonely islander”, rather than “I walk along the avenue”. I always wondered what the hell a lonely islander was running from.

    Come to think of it, the song doesn’t make a lot of sense either way.

    On a related note, the first time I heard “Layla” introduced on a local radio station as being performed by “Derek and the Dominoes” I thought to myself “Who the fuck is Derek? I thought Eric Clapton sang this.” Hub also gleefully corrected me on that one.

    My musical knowledge will barely fill a thimble.

  • Kim Hartman says:

    When I was 13 or so, I was in the back yard singing “the Hustle”…..here was my version:

    doot, doot, doot,de doot, de doot, do do…..do the HOT STUFF.

    I was never as embarassed as when I realized my older sister’s boyfriend (who I had a kid crush on) was standing right behind me and said….”Hey Squirt, it’s THE HUSTLE”

    *red faced*

  • Rachel Hinnah says:

    I used to think Michael Jackson’s song Human Nature was “why, why, tell em that it’s you and me Jill, why, why, cause they knew me that way” My thinking was that he used to have this girlfriend name Jill and they broke up and he had to visit his family for like Thanksgiving or something and he wanted his ex to go with him and pretend they were still together, I have a vivid imagination. By the way, I think you are hilarious and you remind me so much of my best friend who I think needs to write a book. Anyway love reading your stuff and forward it on often. -Rachel H., St. Louis, Mo.

  • Mimi says:

    You might find this funny if you loved Pearl Jam as much as I did but never understood a Godforsaken word:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCZAB3bl0P8

  • June says:

    I was so excited to tell the commentor about In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida and then someone beat me to it. Then I died a million deaths over “my anus full of raisins I’m addicted to love.” Dying.

    I was in the car with my husband once and the radio was on, and I said, “Why on earth is chug-a-lug driving him mad and making me crazy?” My husband, who went to, you know, music school, was appalled.

    Okay, but really. It sounds nothing like Jungle Love. Totally sounds like chug-a-lug. If you ask me.

  • Eva says:

    My mom made me to go Bible camp a lot as a kid and one summer after that I went to stay with my dad, and I kept singing “My God…is an awful God” over and over and later it turned out it was supposed to have been “My God… is an awesome God.” He still brings it up regularly.

  • PajamaChick says:

    Sadly once you sing “my anus full of raisins” you can NEVER go back.
    And it does fit PERFECTLY.

  • Katy says:

    Eva’s “awful God” comment reminded me of (one) of my horrific Easter gigs. The choir was singing, “HE IS ALIVE! HE IS ALIVE!” and it sounded like, “HE IS A LIE! HE IS A LIE!”

  • Karen says:

    I love it. A combination lock. You make me smile.

  • Bianca says:

    This post and all the comments cracked me up.

    When I was a pre-teen, my mom and I loved Bon Jovi. One day we were in the car and we were listening to the song “Bad Medicine”. Well, the actual lyrics are “Whoa Oh Oh, shake it it up, just like bad medicine”. Well, my mom was singing “Whoa Oh Oh, Chiquita, just like bad medicine”.

    I still tease her about it today!

  • Halala Mama says:

    Okay, because Wikipedia is the expert on everything http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/25_or_6_to_4 it’s the time of day – not a drug reference, but I”m not sure I can trust a site that lists the group Chicago in the “hard rock genre.”

  • Betts says:

    I thought “In A Gadda Da Vida” was “in the Garden of Eden”

  • when i was a kid i thought huey lewis wanted a new TRUCK

  • A-dub says:

    My husband also thought it was Red Eye love for the longest time.

    He also thought “I’m your Venus” was “I’m your fetus” and was some crazy anti-abortion song!!!!

    He’s not alone….I also thought the CCR song “there’s a bad moon on the right” was “bathroom on the right.”

  • Jaime says:

    My great uncle Iz told me once, when he used to have to sing x-mas songs in school(we’re Jewish) that he would sing “Oh come. let us Izadore him…”

    My cousins also like to sing “Our Dog is an awesome Dog”

    Mine is, until probably my mid-twenties, I thought the song that goes “And I been through the desert on a horse with no name, it feels good to get out of the rain” was ” a horse with no legs” I just figured he was singing about a rough patch in his life, that would be really difficult. dur.

    And there are many others that I can’t think of this moment.

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  • Regina says:

    I recently saw Robert Lamm on the Chris Isaak show, and he said that “25 or 6 to 4″ was about writer’s block and insomnia, and that it did indeed refer to the time 3:34 or 3:35 AM. Stupid way of telling time, but whatever.
    As to “Who are You?”, a colleague’s husband thought it was “Blue Awning”. Huh?
    One of my favorite’s is Beck’s “Loser”. Some people thought “soy un perdedor” was “soy on my candy corn”.
    When my daughter was young, she used to sing “Trisha!” to Billy Joel’s “Pressure”. My sister’s name is Trisha, by the way.
    Another of hers was “takin’ out the biscuits” for “Takin’ Care of Business”.
    This could go on forever!

  • jen says:

    My friend thought that Rusted Root’s “Ecstasy” had the line:

    “I eat corned beef living in a world of ecstasy with you”

    instead of the Real…”I wouldn’t want to be living in a world of ecstasy with you…”

  • Emily says:

    There are several botched lyrics my friends and I have discovered over the years. My most glaring is from Carly Simon’s ‘Vain': “Someone who would spy on the wife of a postman” instead of “some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend.”

    My sister also used to think the Beatles’ classic “got Bobby love” instead of “can’t buy me love”

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  • My wife is racially challenged when it comes to musicians. She was shocked when she found out (recently I might add) that UB-40 was all white guys and that John Legend is black.

  • Jen says:

    Secret Agent Man = Secret Asian Man

  • chad says:

    ok, so for those of you still checking back and not understanding the 25 or 6 to 4 lyrics: here is my best effort at it:
    it is twenty-five or twenty-six minutes until it will be four o’clock.
    shortening it up it says twenty-five/six minutes until four. again, shorter still 25 or 6 to 4.

    kind of like saying something will cost $110 -$120, it will be one-ten to one-twenty, or ya know, somewhere around one-ten / twenty…

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