I stood hunched over the sink for what had to have been close to twenty minutes, while I celebrated my entry into the homestretch of my pregnancy. In that sink, I created a horror scene that would rival any low budget slasher movie, and I was sort of sad that Halloween had passed.
You see, an oft ignored side effect of pregnancy is that you can still get your period. Only it comes out your nose. And since I’ve been getting chronic bloody noses since I was a wee lass, I get them especially bad.
It’s finally stopped, as even I’m not a die hard enough blogger to type a post out while hemorrhaging out my nostrils, mainly because I might ruin the computer with my spattering blood.
Oh yes, it was that bad.
Well, couple the now-stuffy nose with the “I just lost a fucking ton of blood volume and woozy” and add in the fact that I’m suddenly very short of breath–and thereby panting–as my lungs are being compressed by my fetus due to my lack of torso, and you have the ultimate recipe for Hotness.
I’m sitting here on the couch, reclining slightly, slack jawed and panting, obviously a fucking ton of bricks short of a load, and I can’t help but laugh that at one point, my husband saw fit to knock me up. Hehe. Poor guy didn’t know the depths of Ultimate Hotness he’d see his lovely wife turn into.
And by Ultimate Hotness, I mean Slothy and Mouth Breathing.