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It Appears As Though I Am Indeed A Glutton For Punishment


In a stunning fit of brilliance, or possibly sheer stupidity, I once again signed up for NaBloPoMo, or some such acronym. I’m not so smart as to remember which is which. Well, okay, so I’m just not that smart.

So, who is with me? Who has promised to post every mother-humping day for the entire month of November?


Since I would feel lame doing my inaugural post about posting every month (is it just me or does that seem a bit…lacking?), I will give you a recent Ben story.

Before we transferred Ben away from the Hippie Nut Ban! school, he attended summer camp there. The phrase “summer camp” implies that it was more than just school during the summer, but it sounds fancier, doesn’t it? Well, either way, the teachers saw fit to discuss the election and the candidates with a group of children.

And while you know, someone believes children are our future, I’m still not quite certain what possessed them to do this. I mean, I do discuss such important issues as “what Dora REALLY puts in that backpack” and “which is better, a survey of milk versus yogurt.” But kids are young and impressionable enough (especially my own) to make whatever you say is right complete dogma. If I say “Dunkin’ Donuts coffee is the best on the planet,” HE’LL BELIEVE ME.

The power is mighty and fierce and must be wielded appropriately.

I had no real idea that they done this until a couple of weeks ago when we were casually driving along in the car and Ben pipes up from his car seat with “I want BarackObama to win.” His name, all one word, just like that.

Unsure as to what I’d heard him say, since we rarely discuss politics especially in front of someone who is, oh, I don’t know 7 years old (and autistic. And lacks a proper idea of most of the political issues. Or a working knowledge of the government), and extra-specially since I knew who I’d be voting for BEFORE all the campaigning began in earnest, I tentatively asked for some clarification. It was then when we learned that he’d been exposed to Election Fever at his Hippie Nut Ban! school.

Pleased that we’d all be campaigning for the same side, we left things as they were and occasionally Ben would see something about his beloved BarackObama and pipe up “HOORAY BARACKOBAMA! YOU’RE GREAT!” And conversely, “Boo! John McCain!” (I assure you that I do not shriek at the television unless Deal or No Deal or Engaged and Underage is on. Oh, come on. Just because you don’t admit it doesn’t mean that you don’t watch it. How can you not?)

Nickelodeon announced that the BarackObama was the Kid’s Pick The President Winner, and Ben mistakenly believed that the election was over. He rushed into the other room where I was hiding from Dora and Diego to tell me shriek at me of the news and for the briefest of brief moments, I incorrectly believed that the election was, in fact over.

Pipe dreams and all. But his victory dance/ass-shaking was hysterical and made the hard return to reality a little easier on the equilibrium.

So Friday, when the kids were out trick-or-treating in earnest, Ben met up with our next door neighbor who happen to have a John McCain proudly displayed on their lawn. I’ve never said boo about the sign to anyone, I’ve never commented on the sign in any way shape or form, in front of Ben or not. Neither, I’m positive, has Daver.

Ben came home a couple hours after he departed and inter-spliced with his rambles about candy, his class party and Storm-troopers, and which of our animals had a stinkier butt he made mention of our next door neighbor’s son. You see, HIS mother had been smart enough to sit outside on the porch stoop and pass out candy while I lounged about with my foot on ice on my nice comfy couch. Wait, perhaps *I* am the clever one after all.

And then he dropped the bombshell, “Can I still be friends with [next door neighbor’s son] if he votes for McCain?” I explained that not only was [next door neighbor’s son] a mere 3 years old and thereby incapable of voting, but that it did not matter one way or another how someone else voted.

Apparently he missed the memo (as did a whole fuck-ton of people) that the way someone votes does NOT dictate whom we can or cannot be friends with.

It was then that I knew in my bones that he must have said something in front of my next door neighbor about the sign, and I began to feel like Those People. The people who cannot be friends or neighbors with someone who votes the “wrong” way and insists that their children behave the same way.

I guess we didn’t get him out of that hippie Nut Ban! school soon enough.

posted under The Sausage Factory
29 Comments to

“It Appears As Though I Am Indeed A Glutton For Punishment”

  1. On November 2nd, 2008 at 1:15 pm Kristine Says:

    It’s pretty amazing to me how aware kid are these days. It shocks me how much Noah knows about it at 5 years old.

    And I signed up for NaBloPoMo too! Can I possibly come up with something to write about 30 days in a row? Yikes!

  2. On November 2nd, 2008 at 12:39 pm Jenn Says:

    I’ll be joining you for NaBloPoMo this month. I believe that I’ve lost my f’ing mind.

  3. On November 2nd, 2008 at 1:42 pm Fancy Says:

    You’re a stronger woman than I am! I can barely come up with something coherent a couple of times a week. And I cheat and only post a picture on Wordless Wednesdays. Btw, I identified with some of the things you said, like yelling at the tv, and can I be friends with a conservative. You didn’t happen to read my political rant last week, did you?

  4. On November 2nd, 2008 at 2:22 pm Sandy Says:

    I don’t have a single friend, not a single one, that is voting for my guy. They know who I’m for and we just don’t discuss it. Although their constant twitters and blogs about their guy infuriate me, they are still my friends and I’ll love them just as much when I move to Canada as I do now (ha ha).

  5. On November 2nd, 2008 at 2:27 pm Emily (Apron Strings) Says:

    LMAO! I once met a parent who taught their 3 yr old daughter to say “It’s great to be a Michigan Wolverine” (in chant form, of course) AND “Michigan will bite Ohio States Bucknuts off!”

    Amazing what kids can absorb. But that kid of yours has good taste! 🙂

  6. On November 2nd, 2008 at 1:44 pm Laurin of Laurin and Kelly Talk Says:

    So much better than my “inaugural” NaBloPoMo post involving a picture of an actual weasel. I’m in it to finish it. 🙂 Crap, that means I have to post today.

  7. On November 2nd, 2008 at 2:24 pm Susan Says:

    OMG I know people get crazy about politics, this year in particular…but seriously????

    I’ve signed up as well. And, I proudly did the lame post about posting. But that was yesterday, just shortly before midnight. Now I’m wondering what the heck to write for today…. lol

  8. On November 2nd, 2008 at 3:33 pm Carlynn Says:

    Oh good grief, a post EVERY day? Mmmm ………..

    and that is probably all I will get round to writing all month!

  9. On November 2nd, 2008 at 2:42 pm SciFi Dad Says:

    That’s a great story. (I’m glad you’re all voting for BARACKOBAMA, because if not I couldn’t be your friend.) 😉

    Also doing NaBloPoMo… this is my third year.

  10. On November 2nd, 2008 at 4:00 pm Danielle Says:

    My 11 year old is REALLY into the election this year. We have had a few discussions about the candidates and such, but I don’t “make” her think MY way. My 5 year old, does as Ben does, runs around yelling BarackObama. Mostly because he’s heard it on T.V. and he’s heard us talk about it. He’s more into his cars. Hey, at least ya got him outta there before the election was over, that might have proved MORE disastrous. Good luck with NaBloPoMo!

  11. On November 2nd, 2008 at 4:13 pm Stacey Says:

    I’m doing NaBloPoMo as well!

    I’m always a bit tense when my kids bring up political statements I know they didn’t hear from me. I’ve got them mostly convinced that everything they hear on tv is either fiction, exaggeration or lies but I’m not entirely certain where else they are getting it from so i’m never sure how to address the information – even when I agree with it.

    You are quite correct that entirely too many people have forgotten that voting choices do not have to dictate friendships. I’d be sunk if they did because I vote for folks with I’s after their names.

  12. On November 2nd, 2008 at 4:20 pm Amy Says:

    Glad we can still be friends! hahaha!

    It’s a subject I tend not to discuss with anyone, let alone kids! For goodness sake I’m lucky to get the niece and nephew to eat dinner, I don’t think I could handle the political conversation with them! Or the why’s!

  13. On November 2nd, 2008 at 5:09 pm Queen-sized funny bone Says:

    out of the mouth of babes.

  14. On November 2nd, 2008 at 6:19 pm swirl girl Says:

    the four year old is actually going to a polling place with her preschool class on Tuesday.

    They , her class, will get the chance to vote for their favorite ice cream …chocolate or vanilla. THey will eat the winner afterwards.

    Wish it were that easy.

  15. On November 2nd, 2008 at 8:37 pm Io Says:

    Well, I think your kid has good taste. And I suppose I can be friends with people on the other side of the political aisle, but I will always eye them suspiciously.
    I wouldn’t worry too much about political indoctrination – I was raised to be a staunch conservative (in 2nd grade I wrote an article about why we needed to elect G.B. the first. Ug.), but I have grown up to be about as liberal as they come.

  16. On November 2nd, 2008 at 9:28 pm gypsygrrl Says:

    as you said… crazy bitches unite!
    NaBloPoMo, here we go!!!
    why not start something in the midst of The Hardest Class In Nursing School Ever? perfect time, in my humble opinion…

    see you there…
    i am already a day behind. yeesh.

  17. On November 2nd, 2008 at 11:32 pm foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) Says:

    My kids voted on that Nick site, and more than anything else, they were excited about the option to ‘punch’ the loser of the contest. Now, I’m not sure if that was truly an option, but they were damn giddy about it, so I had to have the “we don’t hit people who have different ideas than us” talk.

  18. On November 3rd, 2008 at 1:38 pm Jenn Says:

    Good luck with the posting every day – I know I couldn’t do it! I just want you to know that I have been reading even though I haven’t been commenting (I suck, I know!). I’m thinking of you.

    Also, Alex’s costumes are way too freaking cute. Love them!

  19. On November 3rd, 2008 at 2:02 pm kbrients Says:

    yep– I am doing the thing I cannot pronounce– but which will make me crazy– that thing I am doing!

  20. On November 3rd, 2008 at 3:00 pm honeywine Says:

    OHHHH…you said it! Let’s just abolish the whole thing…then it will be human vs. human instead of political machines. 🙁

  21. On November 3rd, 2008 at 4:38 pm Kristine Says:

    I’m not doing NaNoBloPoMoGo or whatever – I only work 4 days a week, I just cannot look at a computer at home unless I absolutely have to.

    And thank you! 70% of my readership are confirmed Obama supporters, I suspect more than that. We’re still friends even after I voted for McCain.

    Also, historically – a kids poll – such as the Nick one are generally prophetic, because kids tend to vote the way their parents do. So I’d say Obama’s probably got it.

  22. On November 3rd, 2008 at 4:43 pm Kristen Says:

    NO! Not you too! Man, I have been trying to avoid the nano this year. Even though I have posted each day just in case I change my mind. sigh… Maybe I just need to bite the bullet. …

    Hope it ends up okay with the neighbours. Can’t wait til the election is done! Our Canadian one was over weeks ago and I think the US election got more press here in Canada even during election week.

  23. On November 3rd, 2008 at 4:04 pm Lola Says:

    I have no idea what you signed up for, but of all the blogs yakking about that NBlow thing, at least you kind of explained it. I’m thinking it has something to do with signing up to post on a daily basis. Nah. I’m not a signer-upper. Too much pressure!

    As for your awesome little liberal, I’m taking his jumping-the-gun announcement as a good sign!

  24. On November 3rd, 2008 at 10:51 pm Attempt No. 2 « Apron Strings for Emily Says:

    […] to regret this, but I think I’m going to attempt NaBloPoMo. I personally blame Becky from Mommy Wants Vodka (just kidding, Becky … ) for inspiring me to do this. She’s doing it, so I decided to […]

  25. On November 4th, 2008 at 12:49 am Sarah Says:

    I think I will go ahead and do the nablopomo thing… I have hard time keeping from blogging even more than I already do!

    And wait.. there’s a show called Engaged and Underage? What channel?? How’d I miss that?

  26. On November 4th, 2008 at 4:53 am SCY Says:

    Not doing NaBloPoMo cos I’ll be on holiday for most of the month – bliss!!!

    Enjoy it though, I’ll look forward to reading your posts from the beach with a pina colada in my hand 😉

  27. On November 4th, 2008 at 6:24 am Kelley Says:

    I did nablowhatevz last year and loved it. Back when I was young and naive.

    Now just the thought terrifies me. And HOW THE HELL AM I GUNNA KEEP UP WITH EVERYONE?

    *rocks in corner*

    Please someone ban NabloIt?

  28. On November 4th, 2008 at 10:09 am mumma boo Says:

    I can’t wait for this election to be over. I’m tired of all the windbags. No NaBloPoMo for me – I just can’t keep up. Commenting on those bloggers I follow who are crazy enough to do NaBloPoMo will be enough of a commitment for me. 🙂

  29. On May 3rd, 2010 at 12:26 am Attempt No. 2 | Apron Strings for Emily Says:

    […] to regret this, but I think I’m going to attempt NaBloPoMo. I per­son­ally blame Becky from Mommy Wants Vodka (just kid­ding, Becky … ) for inspir­ing me to do this. She’s doing it, so I decided to try […]

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